Catholic wedding after a civil marriage

[indian_angel]

I was born and raised in a catholic family and have recieved all the sacraments so far. I plan to get married to my boy friend who is a protestant but will be converting to a cathoilc soon. But for legal purposes, as im not an american citizen or green card holder or no other legal reason to stay in usa, i plan to have a civil marriage with my boy friend who is an american citizen so im done with the legal paper work and can live in usa and eventually have a catholic wedding on later date. Would the catholic church conduct a cathoilc wedding with holy mass nuptials and all if your had a civil marriage first

 

[Phemie]

Yes, it’s called a convalidation and you would still have to do everything before the convalidation that would be required if you were marrying in the Church from the get-go: marriage preparation course, pre-nuptial investigation, permission or dispensation to marry a non-Catholic, depending on whether your boyfriend is baptized or not, etc.

But, if you marry civilly you are not supposed to live as man and wife until the Catholic marriage occurs. That can be problematic for a non-citizen and could be viewed as simply a marriage of convenience which is illegal. Are you ready to risk that? Why not have your Catholic marriage from the beginning if you really want to marry him? It can be a very simple ceremony with only you, the groom, 2 witnesses and the priest or deacon, or it can be a Nuptial Mass with all the trimmings. It’s your call.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

Catholic are supposed to marry in the Church or with the Church’s permission. Why not have one wedding done the correct way? I am no expert on immigration law, but I cannot imagine that you would be deported if you were engaged and in marriage preparation to a US citizen. Talk to your pastor about this.

 

[MJJean]

Perhaps speak to your priest and see if there is any way to have a shorter marriage prep than usual considering the legal immigration situation so you can be married in the Church?

 

[indian_angel]

thank you all for your valuable opinions.
But phemie ,does living as man and wife mean living in the same home ? we would have to do that to atleast to prove it to the immigration officer…or does it mean having sexual realtionships…? .both me and my boy friend are very spiritual people and belong to a culture were sex happens only after marriage …though by no means we can prove that to the catholic church that we have not had sex
The reason we are having a civil marriage first is for the immigration as we have been having a long distance relationship for the past two years and we want to spend time together . Another reason being both of us will still take sometime to make some money so we can have a grand catholic church wedding and have all our friends and relatives invited…BOTH OF US DONT CONSIDER THE CIVIL MARRIAGE AS MARRIAGE IN FRONT OF GOD , JUST FOR THE LEGAL PURPOSES. Would the catholic church still let us have a church wedding knowing that our intentions are pure ?

 

[1ke]

I was born and raised in a catholic family and have recieved all the sacraments so far. I plan to get married to my boy friend who is a protestant but will be converting to a cathoilc soon. But for legal purposes, as im not an american citizen or green card holder or no other legal reason to stay in usa, i plan to have a civil marriage with my boy friend who is an american citizen so im done with the legal paper work and can live in usa and eventually have a catholic wedding on later date. Would the catholic church conduct a cathoilc wedding with holy mass nuptials and all if your had a civil marriage first

You need to marry the right way.

Do not try to go around the Church and marry in a civil marriage. It can be done, even when immigration issues are involved-- my sister married a foreign national who did not live in the US. They married in the Church, following all the Church laws.

If you do go ahead with your plan, then you can have a convalidation of the civil marriage.

Again, speak to your priest.

 

[thistle]

thank you all for your valuable opinions.
But phemie ,does living as man and wife mean living in the same home ? we would have to do that to atleast to prove it to the immigration officer…or does it mean having sexual realtionships…? .both me and my boy friend are very spiritual people and belong to a culture were sex happens only after marriage …though by no means we can prove that to the catholic church that we have not had sex
The reason we are having a civil marriage first is for the immigration as we have been having a long distance relationship for the past two years and we want to spend time together . Another reason being both of us will still take sometime to make some money so we can have a grand catholic church wedding and have all our friends and relatives invited…BOTH OF US DONT CONSIDER THE CIVIL MARRIAGE AS MARRIAGE IN FRONT OF GOD , JUST FOR THE LEGAL PURPOSES. Would the catholic church still let us have a church wedding knowing that our intentions are pure ?

It means no sexual relationship until you are married in Church. No, you do not have to prove that which from my point of view would be impossible anyway unless you are being videoed 24 hours a day. Don’t worry about that.

 

[1ke]

Another reason being both of us will still take sometime to make some money so we can have a grand catholic church wedding and have all our friends and relatives invited…

This is NOT a reason to marry civilly.

Either wait to get married until you can have the wedding you want, or have a small wedding sooner.

Go talk to your pastor.

 

[babochka]

To answer the basic question, yes, the Catholic church will let you do this. I have a friend who came over from the Philippines on a fiance visa, which was only good for 4 months, but the church required 6 months. With the blessing of their priest, they married in a civil ceremony, continued to live apart (she was staying with his parents), and had a church wedding 2 months later. 14 years and 9 children later, they’re still going strong.

 

[jritenour]

I second the talk to your pastor on this sort of thing. They have seen most everything. Your case is actually not as outside of normal as you might think. May God bless your upcoming marriage

 

[Catholic1954]

They will, but it is a big mess. Try and solve your legal problems and start your marriage off the right way, within the Church.

 

[BettyBoop416]

I am no expert on immigration law, but I cannot imagine that you would be deported if you were engaged and in marriage preparation to a US citizen.

The fact that someone is “engaged and in marriage preparation to a US citizen” would have no bearing whatsoever. When that visa expires, legally, you gotta go. To over stay a visa is to risk not being able to come back to the US for a L-O-N-G time.

I have a friend who came over from the Philippines on a fiance visa, which was only good for 4 months, but the church required 6 months. With the blessing of their priest, they married in a civil ceremony, continued to live apart (she was staying with his parents), and had a church wedding 2 months later.

This seems like a reasonable compromise.

 

[TheWarriorMonk]

Both of you are not Catholic, therefore it may be possible to marry in a civil wedding with the appropriate dispensation(s). You will need to speak to a priest or other appropriate person to discuss your situation.

 

[Phemie]

True, but then they wouldn’t be getting married in a big splashy Carholic ceremony later on.