Catholic wedding ceremony?

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letlivlove

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Hello! This is my first posting on here & I am fairly confused about what to do with my current situation. My FI & his family are Catholic, as are my parents except they are not practicing. I believe I was baptized Catholic however I was confirmed in a non-denominational church & prefer that churches teachings over Catholicism. My FMIL originally tried to pursued us to get married in the church however finally accepted that I do not feel comfortable doing that as I am not Catholic & don’t plan to be. However, she still wants us to have a church ceremony before or after our outdoor wedding so that our marriage is recognized by the church. My FI wants to do it to please his mom as he worries she will not want anything to do with him if he doesn’t do it. I feel like we would be lying to the church as we wouldn’t be doing it for the right reasons, we would only be doing it to please his mom. I also do not feel comfortable lying to the church & promising that if we have children that we will raise them in the Catholic faith. We also are/will be living together before we are married & I know that they do not agree with that as well. Any advice about your viewpoints on my situation would be greatly appreciated. Thank you 😊
 
I don’t agree with many of it’s teachings. I also do not feel that just because I marry a person who believes in a certain religion that I should be forced to raise children that way when I do not feel it is right myself.
 
Your FI is obligated to marry in the Catholic Church as are you if you were baptized in the Catholic Church. If he is married outside of the Catholic Church he may not partake of the sacraments.

You may believe something different than he does but are you willing to exchange his soul for your desires?
 
How is not getting married in the Catholic Church exchanging his soul for my desires? You truly feel that not getting married in the church means you lose your soul?
 
As baptized Catholics there is an obligation to marry in the Church. By not doing so and without proper dispensation, the marriage is not considered valid by the Catholic Church, and the intimacy that comes with marriage can be grave matter, which could then be mortal sin. Sexual activity outside the confines of a Catholic marriage is grave matter, if done with full knowledge and consent it meets the criteria for mortal sin. Mortal sin takes one outside the grace of God and may cause the loss of eternal life.

He can go to confession but without a firm resolve to not commit the sin again, he may not get the absolution needed to be in a state of grace.

You desire to have a non religious outdoor wedding, so yes, it are taking chances with his and your own soul (if you were baptized Catholic).

My best advice is to make an appointment with the priest of your FI’s parish and discuss the issue with him.
 
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But even though I was (possibly) baptized Catholic I was never confirmed as Catholic, have never gone to confession, nor taken part in any other Catholic rituals except attending church with my FI. I have never proclaimed nor practiced Catholicism. I find it strange that even though I was baptized into a faith I have never practiced I am still “obligated” to get married in the church regardless of if I believe in the teachings or not. And even though it will be an outdoor wedding we are still planning on it being religious.
 
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In your OP you say that your fiance is Catholic. Is he practicing?

It is one thing to not want to participate in a Catholic ceremony if neither of you practice and he only wants to please MIL, but if he is practicing then it is important that he be married in the Catholic church or receive a dispensation.
 
Could you please explain to me what “practicing” means? I don’t understand what it stands in your sentence. And could you also please explain what a dispensation is? Thanks!
 
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In this situation baptism is what makes you Catholic. First communion and confirmation further develop your faith but baptism leaves an indelible mark on your soul.

Regardless, if your FI is attending Mass, his faith may be important enough to him to not want to against Church teaching. What does he say about this?

Make an appointment to speak to his priest about this issue.
 
Practicing means attending Mass, taking part in the sacraments such as receiving communion & reconciliation.

A dispensation is permission to do something outside the ordinary. As in the context of weddings, it would mean the bishop giving permission to marry outside the Catholic Church. There has to be a very good reason for permission to be granted. The bride not wanting to is not enough.
 
A practicing Catholicis a person who has reccieved all of the sacraments of Initiation (baptism, first Eucharist, Confirmation, attends Mass on all Sundays/holy days of obligation, and obeys the precepts of the Church. A dispensation is a document given by the bishop of a diocese allowing a marriage between a non-Catholic Christian and a Roman Catholic.
 
That may well not be true… My mom was a Methodist when she and my dad met and as far as I know they were given a dispensation just because… Then again, I may not be completely informed of the situation
 
Maximilian75 said:
That may well not be true… My mom was a Methodist when she and my dad met and as far as I know they were given a dispensation just because… Then again, I may not be completely informed of the situation
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If the bride is Methodist and wants a Methodist minister to officiate that is “good enough” reason. It just has to be a good reason, not a burdensome one. If the bishop felt your parents had good reason, that’s all anyone else needs to know.
 
Before people start giving all kinds of advice, this is not a situation where the bishop can grant a dispensation from canonical form. That does not apply when both parties are baptised Catholic.
 
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Based on what has been said here, I don’t think your Catholic baptism or lack thereof matters… I think you have good grounds for a dispensation (bt then again I am not a canon lawyer)
 
My mother informed me a few minutes ago that I was not baptized Catholic
 
Make an appointment to speak to his priest. The priest is the one who is going to know exactly what your FI needs to do in this situation.

The reality is…a wedding is one day in a life time of others. A marriage is for a lifetime. I hardly remember my wedding day. It makes me sad that so many weddings are done without regard for the purpose of marriage.
 
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