Catholic Wedding Reception Toast : Could use some help!

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My oldest sister’s wedding is this Friday. One of my other sisters (we have 8 children) is the maid of honor and (as is customary) must give a toast at the reception. She is having a difficult time preparing her speech and I volunteered to help (with help from you lovely people- of course!)…

The wedding will be fairly small and consist mostly of (our) family (we’re all in California but the grooms’ family mostly lives in Jersey). We were considering various jokes but haven’t settled on any… My sister is a very quirky or “silly” person while (though he has his moments,) her husband-to-be is more stuffy and worried about the wedding being “serious”. Though we’d like to take his East-Coast tastes into account, it is also for our sister and we want her to enjoy it as well.

Since most of the guests are family, they are Catholic (though i suspect many are more so in name rather than practice)… We’re not entirely worried about “offending” guests with our beliefs (my sister and her husband to be are quite strong in their faith) BUT … at the same time the alienation of any (potential) non-Catholics in the room is not the goal either. [AKA Said in English - not Latin] I was thinking we (by that I mean the Bridesmaid’s speech) should include a quote by Fulton Sheen (on 3 to make a marriage)… I’ve heard people suggest to include quotes on parenthood (which to me seems a bit preemptive) and this is a touchy subject we’re looking to avoid as they’re not sure whether they are capable of having children (for medical not financial/ political reasons).

My sisters and I haven’t been to a wedding since elementary school so we’re hardly the most qualified to write a speech - we’re not really sure -how long should it be? Are there any St quotes you would include (feel free to share them)? Any other tips (or a copy of your own speech 😉 would be very helpful and extremely appreciated). Thank you!
 
Leave parenthood out. That’s a private matter between the bride and groom and for any number of reasons they may not want it brought up in front of all their friends and relatives. Other than that your ideas sound great.
 
Maybe its a regional/local tradition, but I’ve never been to a wedding, even a Catholic one, where the maid/matron of honor gave a speech. Are you sure this is expected from the couple? We only expected my husband’s best man to give a speech and someone else to give a blessing before the food was served. Other people did give spontaneous speeches, but nothing planned or expected by us, the bridal couple.
 
PatriceA said:
Maybe its a regional/local tradition, but I’ve never been to a wedding, even a Catholic one, where the maid/matron of honor gave a speech. Are you sure this is expected from the couple? We only expected my husband’s best man to give a speech and someone else to give a blessing before the food was served. Other people did give spontaneous speeches, but nothing planned or expected by us, the bridal couple.
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I’ve never been to a wedding where the MoH didn’t give a speech. I thought it was typically the best man and maid of honor that did it. (Besides, it doesn’t make much sense that the groom’s best friend talks and reminisces about him the the bride’s doesn’t do the same for her). I have my MoH speech written already for my best friend’s wedding next month.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
I’ve never been to a wedding where the MoH didn’t give a speech. I thought it was typically the best man and maid of honor that did it. (Besides, it doesn’t make much sense that the groom’s best friend talks and reminisces about him the the bride’s doesn’t do the same for her). I have my MoH speech written already for my best friend’s wedding next month.
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Sorry, I have to agree with PatriceA. I have never been to a wedding where the MOH gave a speech.

And at our wedding, only the Best Man spoke. 🤷

But our Best Man knew both of us. Yes, he was a friend of my husband to be but it wasn’t like he didn’t know me. His speech was about us and our future together. It wasn’t a time to reminisce about my husband.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
I’ve never been to a wedding where the MoH didn’t give a speech. I thought it was typically the best man and maid of honor that did it. (Besides, it doesn’t make much sense that the groom’s best friend talks and reminisces about him the the bride’s doesn’t do the same for her). I have my MoH speech written already for my best friend’s wedding next month.
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I haven’t been to a wedding where the MOH didn’t give a speech either. The best man gave a speech at my wedding and so did the MOH.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
I’ve never been to a wedding where the MoH didn’t give a speech. I thought it was typically the best man and maid of honor that did it. (Besides, it doesn’t make much sense that the groom’s best friend talks and reminisces about him the the bride’s doesn’t do the same for her). I have my MoH speech written already for my best friend’s wedding next month.
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Like I said it may be a regional/local thing. But I’ve been the bride and I’ve been a maid of honor twice and I was never asked to give a speech or asked my MOH to give one. It just wasn’t part of our day. Doesn’t mean the Best Man didn’t give a great speech and he certainly included both of us in his words. It made perfect sense to us. 🤷
 
It’s a bit unorthodox but my sister[M] chose to have 2 Maids of Honor (her best friend[V] and 1 of her sisters[H]).
So maybe it is or isn’t a social convention … either way V will be making a speech so H feels she must also. My sister(M) has gently expressed that she would like a speech to be made from H as well.

-Thank you for taking the time to help us out! Its more appreciated than you can imagine!
 
With so many people giving speeches, I would say it keep it sincere, something from the heart, but on the short side.
 
The best man, in the best case, usually praises the bride and welcomes her into the groom’s circle. Now when the maid of honor does her piece, she essentially does the same.

Sure, tell an amusing story about the bride or the bride’s family, but select one that specifically illustrates why the groom is such a great choice for her. (Do not insult anyone she didn’t wind up marrying, though. Affectionate ribbing is OK, but avoid all insults or anything the visiting family might mistake for an insult.) Keep this one very brief.

Praise the groom. Be sincere, but don’t be too brief. Be specific. If there is an amusing story that illustrates what a prince this man is, so much the better. The best thing is if this is something the MOH witnessed personally. If you do not have story-telling skills, this is where you want the help of the family story-teller in deciding how to deliver this part.

Thank the groom’s parents and extended family for their part in giving such a splendid person to the world and especially to your sister.

Note that it is an old warning that when you marry one person, you also, for better or worse, marry their whole family. Joke that considering the sheer number of you that he is thus taking on, there is obviously a reason that no one on your side brought this up to the groom before the groom made his vows.

Welcome the groom into the family as a beloved brother, tell him that you feel lucky that your sister had the wonderful good sense to be “marrying” all of you to such a wonderful person as a son-in-law and brother-in-law, and wish him and your sister every happiness.

That’s it. Keep it short. Everyone cheers.
 
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