Catholic Wedding

[Footprints04]

Hi Everyone,

I am a cradle Catholic, and I’m getting married this December! My fiance is also Catholic btw.

Since our faith is very important to us, we are planning a full mass for our wedding. However, I have only been to 3 weddings in my life…all were Catholic but for one of them I was very little and I don’t really remember it. So I was wondering if someone could list all the parts of a catholic wedding mass and the order it happens? Or if you have a website link? I haven’t been able to find a good one.

Also what are the vows and ring exchanges like for a Catholic wedding? I’ve never been able to hear well at the weddings PLUS I get confused from movies I’ve seen (the usually more secular vows). I have absolutely no desire to write my own vows…I know the church doesn’t usually like that anyways

Thanks!

 

[Thunderbird]

From Weddingbee.com:

The Order of Mass The Mass is divided into five parts: gathering and entrance rite, Liturgy of the Word, marriage rite, Liturgy of the Eucharist, and concluding rite. The service should last a bit over an hour.

The gathering and entrance rite is a procession of the celebrant priest and deacon, the attendants, and the bride and groom to the altar. The priest greets the community and blesses them. There may be a penitential rite, which consists of a communal prayer for mercy and forgiveness, followed by a prayer or song called the Gloria.

The Liturgy of the Word consists of three readings from the Bible, chosen by the couple, all of which will probably have something to do with marriage. Friends and family members will be chosen to read the Scripture. First will be a reading from the Hebrew Bible or Old Testament; then a psalm, either read from the Book of Psalms, or a song based on one; then a reading from the New Testament. There will also be a reading from one of the four Gospels, preceded by a special Alleluia prayer or song called the Gospel Acclamation. (Christians who are able to do so should remain standing during the reading from the Gospel.) After the Gospel, the officiant will give a short homily reflecting on the marriage that is about to take place.

The marriage rite follows. The familiar exchange of vows and of rings will take place first, sealing the marriage. (This may seem anticlimactic to those who are used to seeing this part happen at the very end.) After the rings are exchanged, the Mass continues. Prayers for the newlyweds, for the community, and for various groups of people will be offered up.

The Liturgy of the Eucharist is when Communion is offered to the congregation. Bread and wine will be blessed and prepared to become the Eucharistic meal. We will pray the Lord’s Prayer together, then spend a few moments to offer one another a sign of peace in the form of a handshake or hug. Then the bread and wine will be distributed.

The concluding rite consists of a blessing of the community and of the newlyweds, a dismissal, and a recessional song. Guests should wait until the wedding party and priest has left before leaving their seats to exit the church.

There was one at my church a few months back and had I not been called away for a tech support emergency, I would have attended. Le-sigh…

 

[diggerdomer]

This is something you can learn from the parish you’re getting married at as part of your marriage preparation. They have the texts that will answer your questions (the texts are not available online).

 

[benedictgal]

One thing that you need to know is that the Unity Candle should not be used for your wedding. Despite what you see on TV, the Unity Candle has no basis in the Tradition of the Church and it is not even Christian.

Second, if you are going to have music, the cantor and the organist you hire need to familiarize themselves with the parts of the Mass, as these should be sung. These include the Kyrie, the Gloria (unless you are getting married during Advent or Lent where it is not used), the Responsorial Psalm, the Gospel Acclamation, the Sanctus, the Memorial Acclamation, the Great Amen and the Agnus Dei. Furthermore, the other pieces need to be suitable for the Mass (no secular songs).

Unless you plan on getting married during the parish’s anticipated Sunday Mass (late afternoon/early evening Saturday), you will be able to choose readings from the approved texts for the Mass. These are found in the lectionary and the priest can guide you.

I hope this helps.

 

[diggerdomer]

Unless you plan on getting married during the parish’s anticipated Sunday Mass (late afternoon/early evening Saturday), you will be able to choose readings from the approved texts for the Mass.
I hope this helps.

I wasn’t aware of this limitation. Where can I find the reference for this? Thank you.

 

[benedictgal]

I wasn’t aware of this limitation. Where can I find the reference for this? Thank you.

The parish’s Sunday Mass supercedes anything because Sunday outranks a wedding. Since the couplel chooses to have their Mass during the parish’s Anticipated Sunday Mass, they need to use the Sunday readings. Another situation arises if the Sunday were to also occur during a Solemnity, like when All Saints Day, the Solemnity of Sts. Peter and Paul, the Assumption, the Triumph of the Crosss, the Transfiguration and the Nativity of St. John the Baptist occur during a Sunday in Ordinary Time. This is also the same principle for Advent, Christmas, Lent and Easter. Furthermore, weddings should not be occuring during the Anticipated Sunday Mass for Palm Sunday, nor, for obvious reasons, during the Easter Vigil. We checked with the USCCB about this when we were doing weddings at the Cathedral. Furthermore, if the couple were to choose to marry during a Holy Day of Obligation, the same rules would apply.

Now, since the wedding is in December, there is also something else to consider. The couple needs to respect the liturgical season, meaning that flowers should be subdued. The Gloria should not be used. Depending on the priest, he might wear purple or rose, if the wedding takes place during Gaudete Sunday. Also, if the wedding occurs during Advent, there should be no Christmas decorations as the Church is not celebrating Christmas, but, the season of joyful anticipation.

 

[1ke]

Get the booklet Together For Life by Fr. Joseph Champlin. It is designed to assist couples in preparing their wedding liturgy. Your priest will also go over this with you. Together For Life is available on Amazon.com or other online bookstores.

 

[diggerdomer]

The parish’s Sunday Mass supercedes anything because Sunday outranks a wedding. Since the couplel chooses to have their Mass during the parish’s Anticipated Sunday.

Right. I misunderstood your original post, thinking you were referring only to the anticipated Mass as opposed to the other Sunday Masses.

 

[Phemie]

Right. I misunderstood your original post, thinking you were referring only to the anticipated Mass as opposed to the other Sunday Masses.

OTOH, it is my understanding that if the Mass at which they will be getting married is NOT the parish’s regular anticipated Sunday Mass it can be a nuptial Mass.

Certainly our pastor will celebrate the anticipated Mass at its regular 4:30 p.m. and then celebrate a Nuptial Mass at 6 or 7 p.m.

 

[Footprints04]

I’m getting married at 1pm in the afternoon on a Saturday. So anticipated mass does not apply. Thanks!

 

[benedictgal]

I’m getting married at 1pm in the afternoon on a Saturday. So anticipated mass does not apply. Thanks!

That is good; however, the rule for decorations and no Gloria would apply. Since you are getting married in Advent, I presume, unless the date is after December 25th, you will not be able to use Christmas decorations. Of course, if the date does occur after December 25th, you might consider makingi a contribution to the church’s Christmas decorations. That will save you some money.