You can and should “be yourself”–meaning be your best self. Sounds like you might still have some emotional attachment to sins that you’ve otherwise tried to break free from. Those past sins have a way of lingering on in the mind, and that interfears with joy and keeps us from being our best self.
Aw, I’m sorry you are struggling.
You know, I grew up Catholic, and yet, I had much to learn about my faith when I became an adult, and I still learn new things everyday. I don’t know if we ever stop growing, and in that growth, when God is asking us to shed away our sinful ways, and become more like Him, it can be painful. Change for the better, can be painful. In that pain and suffering however, interestingly enough, there can be great joy. Joy in the midst of suffering. Joy in knowing that you’re healing…to become more like Christ. I admire your candor…we are here to pray for each other. Know that you’re not alone in your struggles. We have all struggled to varying degrees …but it is all worth it, to become closer to Christ. 
I feel oppressed in a way. I feel like I’m being punished for living a good life. Here I am single, never married, never was the party type but I am social and pretty active. I’m in good shape and have been told I’m attractive but regardless I’m as alone as I’ve ever been. No BF, no child, trying to get out of financial debt and don’t know where I’ll be living next year (long story). I see everyone around me saving money by shacking up, they have kids weather married or not and overall they seem a lot happier then me. I’ll be working several jobs this month just to get through the next few months. I guess if I could get some security maybe all my problems wouldn’t seem so bad but I’m wondering these days if staying on the so called good path is worth it anymore. It’s never brought me anything but sorrow and debt. I’ve been going to the same church for 5 years and still no one has ever said hi to me??? All the catholic singles groups I join get disolved and the good catholic guys I know aren’t interested in me so yes I feel oppressed today. Sorry for ranting.
Ditto
You should ask the mods to make these threads into polls!
that’s what living in sin did to me and for me. i’m certainly no richer in material things as an obedient daughter of the Church, but i sure am more joyful and free.
Sounds like you are thinking it’s from the outside in approach, it’s just the opposite. Tell you what, if it becomes too much for you and you desire to suffer some extra pain and misery, focus upon being devout “I assume you are already to some point”, and see how those experiences you described are as fun as you think they are. If you are a new creation in Christ, they really won’t be to you at all, that there indeed has been some part of you that has died, the part you don’t want around any more.
On your second point, I guess I have a split opinion on that… I think with in the Church, unless you’re just not paying attention then I would have to disagree. Women in leadership roles are very visible, and very celebrated.