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phil19034
Guest
I don’t want to sidetrack this, but I felt a reply was warranted for you, the OP, and future readers of this thread.A) You’re explaining traditions and beliefs I already know. I’ve been around the Church for 13 years now.
B) I’ve laid out how I’ve been treated as Mass/in Parrishes on the board before. I’m not sure why any Parrish wouldn’t welcome visitors either. Like I’ve said before, the experiences were/are pretty strange to me.![]()
From what I’ve experenced I think the “unfriendly” vibe is an American (English speaking) thing, it’s not world wide. In other parts of the world, things are very different. And in America, Spanish communities and ethnic parishes (like Italian) are super friendly. Also, in America, it depends on the parish and community demographics.
If you live in Palm Beach County, FL, where everyone is from some place else, he communities are very friendly and the parishes are very welcoming. But if you move to a place where everyone has known everyone for 50 years, and they are not in “I need friends mode,” parishenors may not notice new people (esp if the parish is several hundreds or thousands people in size).
That’s why at my parish, after every mass, the Pastor invites new parishenors to meet him after each mass.
Because Catholic parishes are typical geographical, they tend to have people from all walks of life, with different spiritual needs, different likes, different economic/social status, etc. So the fellowship interests and activities are not always going to match everyone’s likes. On the other hand, Protestants tend to “church shop” and pick a church that fits their personality and likes. Catholics don’t usually do that (though in some areas they are starting to do that) and historically did not. Again, this is because Catholic parishes have geographic boundaries. While a Catholic can attend Mass at any Catholic Church, the major sacraments (baptism, first reconciliation, first communion, confirmation, marriage, all typically must take place in your “home parish.” Also visitation of the home bound and funerals typically are reserved for people who live in the parish boundaries too. The point is, most Catholics don’t pick their parish they go to the one they one in, like public school districts; while Protestants typically pick their church and frankly MOST Protestant churches are smaller than Catholic parishes.
Furthermore, Catholics tend to have fellowship activities during the week and not on Sundays. So after mass, people might say hello to people they know, but they tend to be focused on heading home or to brunch, grandma’s etc to spend time with family.
However, parishes that have a lot of transplants or converts often have many donut Sunday’s and other fellowship activities after mass. This is because in these parishes, the parish knows that many parishenors may not have other family / friends to spend The Lord’s Day with. But in areas where parishes are filled with cradle Catholic who have lived their whole lives in the area… Most parishenors are leaving to spend time with their Catholic family members and many of them still have Sunday traditions (brunch, dinner with grandma, etc).
As for a priest not having time for a non-Catholic; I don’t know. Maybe father was having a bad day? But I do know some older Catholic lay people (and I have met some) who are “afraid” of Protestants because they have seen friends and/or family members leave the Church over mis-information about what Catholics believe and don’t believe. So some of them might come across a little cold. But that’s not the majority of people in the pews.
Finally, I can’t understand why a priest would not marry you unless BOTH you and your wife were not practicing Catholics. A priest might say no to a wedding if he felt that the only reason you were getting married in a Catholic Church was to satisfy a mother or grandmother, but if your wife was a practicing Catholic there shouldn’t be a reason to deny the wedding (again, unless he felt you didn’t believe the vows or there was an impediment)
God Bless