Catholicism depresses me deeply

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I just find Catholicism so heavy and oppressive.
““I want them to understand that it is beautiful to be a Christian! The generally prevailing idea is that Christians have to observe an immense number of commandments, prohibitions, precepts, and other such restrictions, so that Christianity is a heavy and oppressive way of living, and it would therefore be more liberating to live without all these burdens. But I would like to make it clear that to be sustained by this great Love and God’s sublime revelation is not a burden, but rather a set of wings—that it is truly beautiful to be a Christian. It is an experience that gives us room to breathe and move, but most of all, it places us within a community since, as Christians, we are never alone: first of all, there is God, who is always with us; secondly, we are always forming a great community among ourselves: a community of people together on a journey, a community with a project for the future. All of this means that we are empowered to live a life worth living. This is the joy of being a Christian: that it is beautiful and right to believe!””

~Pope Benedict XVI 2005

What needs to be attended to is the “glasses” that are coloring things and perhaps your need to encounter those who live their Faith in community etc in ways you have not yet experienced locally for whatever reason.

One needs to discover the splendor! catholicism.wordonfire.org/
 
A few quotes to keep in mind:

“Being Christian is not the result of an ethical choice or a lofty idea, but the encounter with an event, a person, which gives life a new horizon and a decisive direction.”

~ Pope Benedict XVI Deus Caritas Est

*that is the heart of the Catholic Faith~!

“I invite all Christians, everywhere, at this very moment, to a renewed personal encounter with Jesus Christ, or at least an openness to letting him encounter them; I ask all of you to do this unfailingly each day.”

~ Pope Francis (The Joy of the Gospel)

“I realize of course that joy is not expressed the same way at all times in life, especially at moments of great difficulty. Joy adapts and changes, but it always endures, even as a flicker of light born of our personal certainty that, when everything is said and done, we are infinitely loved.”

~ Pope Francis (The Joy of the Gospel)

“Christian joy thus springs from this certainty: God is close, he is with me, he is with us, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, as a friend and faithful spouse. And this joy endures, even in trials, in suffering itself. It does not remain only on the surface; it dwells in the depths of the person who entrusts himself to God and trusts in him.”

~ Pope Benedict XVI Anglus 16 December 2007

“Faith opens us to knowing and welcoming the real identity of Jesus, his newness and oneness, his word, as a source of life, in order to live a personal relationship with him. Knowledge of the faith grows, it grows with the desire to find the way and in the end it is a gift of God who does not reveal himself to us as an abstract thing without a face or a name, because faith responds to a Person who wants to enter into a relationship of deep love with us and to involve our whole life.”

~ Pope Benedict XVI (Sunday, 14 August 2011)

Remember Jesus is the Good Shepherd who loves us -and is with us and with his Church and gives us true life - even in the midst of any struggles we may have at a given moment.
 
Also remember the Ordinariate is Catholic while receiving great riches from the Anglican tradition in history etc and will be of great interest to you

ordinariate.org.uk/

“One of the principal aims of the Apostolic Constitution Anglicanorum coetibus is “to maintain the liturgical, spiritual and pastoral traditions of the Anglican Communion within the Catholic Church, as a precious gift nourishing the faith of the members of the Ordinariate and as a treasure to be shared”. Members of the Personal Ordinariate of Our Lady of Walsingham bring with them, into the full communion of the Catholic Church in all its diversity and richness of liturgical rites and traditions, aspects of their own Anglican patrimony and culture which are consonant with the Catholic Faith.”
 
guilt, fear about purgatory, all the old ladies obsessing over the rosary, the sheep-like laity, the boring priests whose homilies say nothing
Your in good company. Many of the saints questioned their faith. This is really a good thing because it means you are thinking and not just swallowing.

The problem comes when the questioning is out of balance. Is your mind racing all the time so that all you do is question? If that is the case you probably need some more doing to take the place of some of the thinking. Find your favorite ministry and throw yourself into that. Sometimes Gods answers come when we are working on something we don’t even think is related to our problems.
 
I suppose I don’t see it quite the way you do. I look at it as more of evangelizing myself, becoming more pleasing to Jesus who lives in my soul. I believe if I do that and serve and love him within, then he will show me and help me to do whatever he wishes.

And then there is the factor of “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.” We seem to think others are more fortunate than ourselves when we see their good qualities and the good people on the other side. But it isn’t about measuring and comparing, but about where does Jesus want me to be. Jesus has a direction and place for each of us, and it is important for our own sake and well as others that we find it and then carry it out. Meaning oneness with Jesus wherever that might be. Doing what pleases him.

As far as the world and what is happening to it, I know that Jesus would not want its condition to spoil his peace that he has given to us. For as long as I do what pleases him, then my part of the world will benefit by it. As Mother Teresa said, it just starts with one other person, whoever God sends to us. To show them charity and kindness, and the love of Jesus. Even if it is only a smile.

“Jesus in my heart, I believe in your tender love for me, I love you.”
Mother Teresa

May the Good Shepherd fill you with peace this Easter season.
 
The only thing people like me can do is be still, stop trying to “pray” (i.e. think), and allow God to be present to me via breathing, calm, silence, and peace of heart.

Thanks for all your advice…
 
Friends,

I have struggled with my faith since shortly after I was baptized 4 years ago.

To me, Catholicism isn’t a thing of life or energy. Whenever I try to increase my sense of identity as a Catholic, and frequent the Sacraments, and become closer to my local community, I immediately become depressed. I lose the will to live or work. It’s as if the Church is so gargantuan, and I am so small, that there’s no identity for me in it.

I can’t explain very well. Despite some good local friars who bolster me, I just find Catholicism so heavy and oppressive. Merit, good works, guilt, fear about purgatory, all the old ladies obsessing over the rosary, the sheep-like laity, the boring priests whose homilies say nothing – it all makes me very sad. To me, it seems like a waste of time to try to engage all this. It’s a big but crumbling culture.

Whenever I spiritually revert to my beloved old Protestant Anglican identity, as an English person, I feel an onrush of energy. It seems like the laity can act to save that Church from ruin, whereas we Catholics simply sit and accept everything that’s told us. When I am Protestant, it seems like Jesus is very close and forgiving. I don’t feel guilty for going straight to Him instead of through a tangled web of saints. In Catholicism, I just sit around and remain passive because I experience no love or union with God. Nothing inspires me to move forward in spiritual life, in vocation, or in holiness.

I don’t believe the Anglican Church(es) can be saved from apostasy at this time, given how much their belief system has crumbled. I just can’t seem to find any reason to do anything as a Catholic, though. The Pope’s in his heavenly infallibility, the bishops are unapproachable, the priests ask for 10 Our Fathers and then dismiss you, and the youth just sit and strum their guitars and play their pianos. It’s all so terribly depressing to me.

What’s the point of being Catholic? What’s the use?
Aesthetics gets in the way of our relationship with God.

I purchased various Catholic objects of worship online a month or two ago - to try to better understand the psychology (rosary, St. Benedict cross, font etc.). While I find it relaxing (something to focus on) and I reasoned at first that it is part of our medieval Christian history, and may have been helpful in communicating to the illiterate; ultimately it was not helpful to my prayer life. It got in the way.

I love the aesthetics of architecture - Cathedrals are awe inspiring and I relax instantly when I see the symmetry, and quietness of the interiors in photos.

Last night I was looking at Gaudy’s La Sagrada Familia Cathedral interior, I was also examining the St. Benedicts cross I bought, and contemplating all of this. I woke up the next morning and happened to be reading Deuteronomy and stumbled upon this verse - and I realised God’s instructions couldn’t be any clearer.

**Deuteronomy 4:15 "You saw **no form of any kind the day the Lord spoke to you at Horeb out of the fire…"

God was obviously very deliberate in appearing without form. He clearly does not want us to think of Him as a physical shape or form. The focus is to be on His character and behaviour - who He is, not what he might look like. Our psychology gears us to quickly judge and classify a person or animal based on appearance… which is the danger. God cannot be limited in that way.

I realised that most of my life as a Protestant I have prayed without thinking of a Christ as having any particular form or appearance. Crucifixes, rosary’s etc. are distracting. God is not limited in that way.

God emphasises character and behaviour. The devil on the other hand, seems to play to our senses. He was after all the most beautiful of all the angels. So no doubt knows how to push our buttons in that area. So we have to be very careful not be distracted by earthly/material artwork, designs, figures or anything else that is temporary. Focus on who God is, and the only way is to keep reading your bible until you understand. Faith isn’t easy, it takes work… lots of reading, thinking and ultimately application.
 
I feel that the Holy Spirit will lead you in the right direction of prayer. In my case I attend a prayer group which due to it’s simplicity in format and the sincerity of all the members has helped me greatly. Also the Divine Mercy Chaplet is sung daily on EWTN and it is really peaceful.

I came back to the church last year and while it is something I would never change I do find it extremely challenging.
 
Aesthetics gets in the way of our relationship with God.

I purchased various Catholic objects of worship online a month or two ago - to try to better understand the psychology (rosary, St. Benedict cross, font etc.). While I find it relaxing (something to focus on) and I reasoned at first that it is part of our medieval Christian history, and may have been helpful in communicating to the illiterate; ultimately it was not helpful to my prayer life. It got in the way.

I love the aesthetics of architecture - Cathedrals are awe inspiring and I relax instantly when I see the symmetry, and quietness of the interiors in photos.

Last night I was looking at Gaudy’s La Sagrada Familia Cathedral interior, I was also examining the St. Benedicts cross I bought, and contemplating all of this. I woke up the next morning and happened to be reading Deuteronomy and stumbled upon this verse - and I realised God’s instructions couldn’t be any clearer.

**Deuteronomy 4:15 “You saw **no form of any kind ****the day the Lord spoke to you at Horeb out of the fire…”

God was obviously very deliberate in appearing without form. He clearly does not want us to think of Him as a physical shape or form. The focus is to be on His character and behaviour - who He is, not what he might look like. Our psychology gears us to quickly judge and classify a person or animal based on appearance… which is the danger. God cannot be limited in that way.

I realised that most of my life as a Protestant I have prayed without thinking of a Christ as having any particular form or appearance. Crucifixes, rosary’s etc. are distracting. God is not limited in that way.

God emphasises character and behaviour. The devil on the other hand, seems to play to our senses. He was after all the most beautiful of all the angels. So no doubt knows how to push our buttons in that area. So we have to be very careful not be distracted by earthly/material artwork, designs, figures or anything else that is temporary. Focus on who God is, and the only way is to keep reading your bible until you understand. Faith isn’t easy, it takes work… lots of reading, thinking and ultimately application.
While I respect your way of prayer, since God is so majestically unable to be visualized, yet Jesus Christ is God who became one of us and was seen as man. Even tho we don’t have a picture of him from the New Testiment, there seems to be an endless stream of pictures of him everywhere we go. And they all seem to be able to be recognized as Him even tho pictures do have differences. Because it is just easier for people to talk to someone they can visualize in their mind. And he is still alive bodily in His assension to heaven.

And so St. Teresa of Avilla, a catholic nun of several centuries ago, said this about the pictures of Jesus and their help to us in our prayer life.
I had so little ability for picturing things in my mind that if I did not actually see a thing I could not use my imagination, as other people do, who can make pictures to themselves and so become recollected. Of Christ as Man I could only think: however much I read about His beauty and however often I looked at pictures of Him, I could never form any picture of Him myself. I was like a person who is blind, or in the dark: he may be talking to someone, and know that he is with him, because he is quite sure he is there – I mean, he understands and believes he is there – but he cannot see him. Thus it was with me when I thought of Our Lord. It was for this reason that I was so fond of pictures. Unhappy are those who through their own fault lose this blessing! It really looks as if they do not love the Lord, for if they loved Him they would delight in looking at pictures of Him, just as they take pleasure in seeing pictures of anyone else whom they love.
May God bless and keep you. May God’s face shine on you. May God be kind to you and give you peace.
 
I feel that the Holy Spirit will lead you in the right direction of prayer. In my case I attend a prayer group which due to it’s simplicity in format and the sincerity of all the members has helped me greatly. Also the Divine Mercy Chaplet is sung daily on EWTN and it is really peaceful.

I came back to the church last year and while it is something I would never change I do find it extremely challenging.
I have been a Catholic all my life, (78 years), and I find it always very challenging, (that’s what makes it so WONDERFUL). Jesus and His Holy Mother have brought me through sooo many challenges and I am sooo very thankful. I haven’t the slightest idea where I would be today without my Catholic Faith.(My next big challenge is dying I’m sure.) Our Lord, His Mother, the Church and my many Catholic friends and family. That’s one reason why I’m here! God Bless, Memaw
 
Wishes in the Love of our Lord Jesus Christ.

It looks like so many have replied to your post.

I would like to pose some questions for your meditation!

If we feel God in one place, is it the place we can attribute the feeling to or is it God we can attribute to?
We cannot ignore that the place of worship makes some level of importance…
However, if we have to, then, should we not blame ourselves, instead of the place, for not feeling the Love of God in the first place?
Are we dependent on others or a place to have a personal relationship with God?
Can we not say that the communal faith is just a natural impulsive extension of the personal relationship?
Is not the Love of Neighbor a by product of Love of God? Or is it the other way?
Is Love or faith, which of them is more practicable? Faith being about the things of believing the unseen God, and Love being about acting in Love.
Is personal relationship with God more important as opposed to church location based relationship?

Pray for us.
 
Wishes in the Love of our Lord Jesus Christ.

It looks like so many have replied to your post.

Most of these thoughts wandered in my thoughts for a long time.
I would like to pose some questions for your meditation!

If we feel God in one place, is it the place we can attribute the feeling to or is it God we can attribute to?

We cannot ignore that the place of worship makes some level of importance…
However, if we have to, then, should we not blame ourselves, instead of the place, for not feeling the Love of God in the first place?

Are we dependent on others or a place in order to have a personal relationship with God?

Can we not say that the communal faith is just a natural impulsive extension of the personal relationship?

Is not the Love of Neighbor a by product of Love of God? Or is it the other way?

Is Love or faith, which of them is more practicable? Faith being about the things of believing the unseen God, and Love being about acting in Love.

Is personal relationship with God more important as opposed to church location based relationship? Or is it the other way around?

If there is a sinner, would you choose to leave him to his misery or would you choose to be with him in God and pray?

As we say a place is not good, does it mean our eyes are more on the Lord or more on the faults and laxity of others?

And what would our Lord and Savior Jesus do in all such cases?

Pray for us.
 
I can empathize with the OP. I am actually being baptized and confirmed into the Church on Saturday, and while I am 100% sure that the Catholic faith is correct, and part of me is joyous…another part of me is depressed and overwhelmed. Coming from a protestant background…there are so many rules to Catholicism! Things I didn’t even know WERE sins are sins. And mortal sins, to boot. And since Catholicism doesn’t deny the salvation of protestants, in a way I wish I’d never started RCIA. I feel like it will be impossible to conform to all these rules. And I’m leaving behind a belief that I’m saved because Christ died for me to I’m saved because Christ died for me…but only if I follow the rules and confess my sins and pay penance and receive absolution. I thought in Christianity we are freed from all the laws of the Old Covenant, but sometimes it feels like the Church simply replaced them with a bunch of new stuff. And when Jesus said that his yoke is easy and burden light…I’m not feeling that at all.

But I still don’t doubt the Church. And I feel wonderful every time I set foot in the Church. I love to pray and I’m learning to pray the Rosary and I’m developing a relationship with our Lady. I’m grateful to know about Mary and the Angels and Saints and the holy souls in Purgatory. I wouldn’t even know I was supposed to pray for the souls in Purgatory if it weren’t for the Church. What if my entire family and those friends who’ve passed are there, and have been waiting all this time for my prayers? I’m so glad at least now I can help them.

What I doubt is myself. I doubt my ability to follow the rules, to do what God wants me to do. I have never felt closer to hell and eternal damnation than since I began RCIA. It’s like, now that I know, there is no way to un-know. And now because I am no longer ignorant, I am accountable. But some of this just seems completely impossible to me. And I hate hypocrisy. I hate when protestants think they can behave abominably and just assume they’re forgiven because they’re “saved”, and I hate when Catholics sin knowingly and figure they’ll just confess it on Saturday and they’re fine. To me that’s hypocrisy…and yet I feel like I’ll be doing that too because some sins feel like they’re impossible to avoid.

I am hoping that this is just a spiritual attack- the devil’s last attempt to prevent me from joining the Church. That he’s put all these doubts into my head and that since he couldn’t shake my belief in the Church instead he’s decided to shake my belief in myself and the Lord’s unending Grace.

There are times this feels so enormous that I feel literally crushed by it, just overwhelmed by depression. And I am not one prone to depression. It’s to the point that I wear a St. Benedict’s cross daily, bless myself daily with Holy Water, pray to the Mother for her prayers and protection, etc. I find that I need to have direct prayer with God as well as the rosary and litanies. I need to take time to talk directly to Him. I do this best when I go outside walking, but if that’s not possible I do it while driving, or any time I can. And I particularly love to talk to the Lord while kneeling in Church- I try to show up early for that reason.

I guess my point is that you aren’t alone- as other’s said, lots of people go through this, and some of us are going through this simultaneously. I will add you to my prayers, and perhaps you can pray for me, and we can help each other.
 
Friends,

I have struggled with my faith since shortly after I was baptized 4 years ago.

To me, Catholicism isn’t a thing of life or energy. Whenever I try to increase my sense of identity as a Catholic, and frequent the Sacraments, and become closer to my local community, I immediately become depressed. I lose the will to live or work. It’s as if the Church is so gargantuan, and I am so small, that there’s no identity for me in it.

I can’t explain very well. Despite some good local friars who bolster me, I just find Catholicism so heavy and oppressive. Merit, good works, guilt, fear about purgatory, all the old ladies obsessing over the rosary, the sheep-like laity, the boring priests whose homilies say nothing – it all makes me very sad. To me, it seems like a waste of time to try to engage all this. It’s a big but crumbling culture.

Whenever I spiritually revert to my beloved old Protestant Anglican identity, as an English person, I feel an onrush of energy. It seems like the laity can act to save that Church from ruin, whereas we Catholics simply sit and accept everything that’s told us. When I am Protestant, it seems like Jesus is very close and forgiving. I don’t feel guilty for going straight to Him instead of through a tangled web of saints. In Catholicism, I just sit around and remain passive because I experience no love or union with God. Nothing inspires me to move forward in spiritual life, in vocation, or in holiness.

I don’t believe the Anglican Church(es) can be saved from apostasy at this time, given how much their belief system has crumbled. I just can’t seem to find any reason to do anything as a Catholic, though. The Pope’s in his heavenly infallibility, the bishops are unapproachable, the priests ask for 10 Our Fathers and then dismiss you, and the youth just sit and strum their guitars and play their pianos. It’s all so terribly depressing to me.

What’s the point of being Catholic? What’s the use?
For your honesty, blessings and thanks. Here in Ireland I am living a mirror image of what you experience. I have the same Anglican background as you do and have retained the same directness… hold on to that please. Here added is the extent of the child abuse and the reverberations of that abomination…Thankfully I have a major illness which limits my physical involvement with the Church. It throws me back on the solitude that is my calling and I have a rich prayer life and a huge involvement via family who work with the truly needy by the handwork I do and sell, mostly abed these days. With no working immune system I cannot for example be at busy masses and I fulfil my basic obligations with dispensations and kind leeway. So I avoid much of what irks you. Maybe try for an early, quiet Sunday Mass? Stay grounded in Jesus… go to quiet midweek masses. I cannot bear the large family Masses either. I find no holiness in all the noise and crowds. I am home for Easter now and abed; Liturgy on the internet later. At peace on this. Try to find a way though this please. Simplify? Jesus is at the heart of it all, believe me. I was in town this week briefly feeling like death and someone told me how happy and at peace I looked… at over 70, Find His peace in Him then move outwards to where you are at peace in Him among others.
 
I can empathize with the OP. I am actually being baptized and confirmed into the Church on Saturday, and while I am 100% sure that the Catholic faith is correct, and part of me is joyous…another part of me is depressed and overwhelmed. Coming from a protestant background…there are so many rules to Catholicism! Things I didn’t even know WERE sins are sins. And mortal sins, to boot. And since Catholicism doesn’t deny the salvation of protestants, in a way I wish I’d never started RCIA. I feel like it will be impossible to conform to all these rules. And I’m leaving behind a belief that I’m saved because Christ died for me to I’m saved because Christ died for me…but only if I follow the rules and confess my sins and pay penance and receive absolution. I thought in Christianity we are freed from all the laws of the Old Covenant, but sometimes it feels like the Church simply replaced them with a bunch of new stuff. And when Jesus said that his yoke is easy and burden light…I’m not feeling that at all.

But I still don’t doubt the Church. And I feel wonderful every time I set foot in the Church. I love to pray and I’m learning to pray the Rosary and I’m developing a relationship with our Lady. I’m grateful to know about Mary and the Angels and Saints and the holy souls in Purgatory. I wouldn’t even know I was supposed to pray for the souls in Purgatory if it weren’t for the Church. What if my entire family and those friends who’ve passed are there, and have been waiting all this time for my prayers? I’m so glad at least now I can help them.

What I doubt is myself. I doubt my ability to follow the rules, to do what God wants me to do. I have never felt closer to hell and eternal damnation than since I began RCIA. It’s like, now that I know, there is no way to un-know. And now because I am no longer ignorant, I am accountable. But some of this just seems completely impossible to me. And I hate hypocrisy. I hate when protestants think they can behave abominably and just assume they’re forgiven because they’re “saved”, and I hate when Catholics sin knowingly and figure they’ll just confess it on Saturday and they’re fine. To me that’s hypocrisy…and yet I feel like I’ll be doing that too because some sins feel like they’re impossible to avoid.

I am hoping that this is just a spiritual attack- the devil’s last attempt to prevent me from joining the Church. That he’s put all these doubts into my head and that since he couldn’t shake my belief in the Church instead he’s decided to shake my belief in myself and the Lord’s unending Grace.

There are times this feels so enormous that I feel literally crushed by it, just overwhelmed by depression. And I am not one prone to depression. It’s to the point that I wear a St. Benedict’s cross daily, bless myself daily with Holy Water, pray to the Mother for her prayers and protection, etc. I find that I need to have direct prayer with God as well as the rosary and litanies. I need to take time to talk directly to Him. I do this best when I go outside walking, but if that’s not possible I do it while driving, or any time I can. And I particularly love to talk to the Lord while kneeling in Church- I try to show up early for that reason.

I guess my point is that you aren’t alone- as other’s said, lots of people go through this, and some of us are going through this simultaneously. I will add you to my prayers, and perhaps you can pray for me, and we can help each other.
While I know that Catholicism can look very intimidating, especially when coming from a protestant background, fear not.

It is a journey, a beautiful one that ultimately leads to great happiness and understanding. You should not look at it like, “OK, I’m Catholic now, I have all the answers”. It’s not like that, there is much to learn and much to explore, but there is no pressure in that, it will come as you journey down the path. Just keep walking towards the light and leave this world behind you.

Ultimately, all the “rules” of the Catholic Church that people say are binding are actually freeing. What binds us is not the rules from the Church, it is from the world and all of it’s issues and darkness. In learning the ways of the Church, which comes with patience and with the help of the Holy Spirit, we are brought to the freedom and true happiness of God’s domain, with all His angels, saints and the Blessed Mother. The Catholic life, when led well, is the most beautiful life one can lead while here.

Have patience with yourself, our Good Lord does!🙂

God Bless you and all those coming into the Church!
 
While I know that Catholicism can look very intimidating, especially when coming from a protestant background, fear not.

It is a journey, a beautiful one that ultimately leads to great happiness and understanding. You should not look at it like, “OK, I’m Catholic now, I have all the answers”. It’s not like that, there is much to learn and much to explore, but there is no pressure in that, it will come as you journey down the path. Just keep walking towards the light and leave this world behind you.

Ultimately, all the “rules” of the Catholic Church that people say are binding are actually freeing. What binds us is not the rules from the Church, it is from the world and all of it’s issues and darkness. In learning the ways of the Church, which comes with patience and with the help of the Holy Spirit, we are brought to the freedom and true happiness of God’s domain, with all His angels, saints and the Blessed Mother. The Catholic life, when led well, is the most beautiful life one can lead while here.

Have patience with yourself, our Good Lord does!🙂

God Bless you and all those coming into the Church!
AMEN, AMEN AND AMEN, the joy comes in learning. Thank You and God Bless. Memaw
 
It sounds like your focus is off. We don’t worship the Church. Religious practices are not the goal; they only point us toward it, like a map. You would be unimpressed if you bought a map of NYC and thought it was actually NYC itself. Don’t look at the religious traditions, ceremonies, and practices as the destination. It’s natural to be disappointed and feel empty when we look solely to the religion itself for our fulfillment instead of the Person to whom the religion points.
 
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