The banned thing from a restaurant came from a girl I had bad interactions with. She was told I had a crush on her and things went bad and she was working at a pizza joint where I frequently got pizza. Her brother was the manager. I ordered pizza and waited. THe police came and asked me to leave. He put me down for “sexually harrassing a waitress” and I couldn’t order from there anymore. I called the owner and he didn’t like it to well and lifted the ban.
The stalking situation was a little more complicated. I don’t know if I did anything wrong or not. After work on the weekends I used to hang out at the mall. Bad choice there maybe. Maybe someone thought I looked suspicious. There was a young woman working at a jewelry store and I talked to her some. She moved to various places of employment in the mall and I continued talking to her so I decided to introduce myself and got her a plain card much like a “Birthday card” that said nothing and I wrote “Hi From Bill” in it and gave it to her “Oh thankyou” she proclaimed and things were fine to my knowledge for a long time. She must’ve been telling her friends something else. Much later on valentines day I gave her another card where I wrote happy valentines day in a blank card. Soon I got a call from the police. They wanted to question me. She had said I was outside the mall and had my hand on her car door handle. I had never been outside of the mall with her and had no plans to. I plead the 5th and soon was arrested and appointed counsel. This must’ve been a setup all the time. My attorney said I had no witnesses and she came up with about 7 people I had never seen and he said by the sheer number of people she had to stay out of jail to plead guilty. And that’s now in the past. But it gets you thinking and kind of makes you afraid.Any prosecutor willing to back that kind of “harassment” claim needs to get disbarred. Flowers are okay if it’s a date or if things are being ambiguous. If it stays within the friend zone, well, it doesn’t get out of it. Something must happen, I’m not saying “something immoral” or “something physical here”, but there needs to be a bit of open advances. Otherwise it’s kinda like trying to sell something without actually telling people it’s up for sale.
And avoid drama queens.
As a man you’re at an advantage actually. There are far more catholic ladies out there looking for a catholic husband than catholic men looking for a wife. I know a lot of couples that have actually married for the first time much older than you. Some even have children. People marry older these days in general so again you have the advantage of having taken the time to know yourself and what you want.
Something just doesn’t add up in all of this. Perhaps you have a strange way of interacting with women that you think is normal but they find intimidating? I suggest you try to discuss all this with a trusted male friend and your priest to try to understand why these things have happened and how you can go about trying to meet and date women in the future.
Well with the girl at the mall all the time this was going on security never said anything to me and I knew most of the security guards. But then she called the police and security came to me and the said told me “I want to say something about that girl” I interjected “I don’t want anything to do with her I heard” He said “they can turn against you anytime”. But what she did was really unexcusable. She was trying to obviously make me into some kind of monster. There are people who live their lives as a victim. They are always someone else’s victim and the bad guy is left holding the bag.
Firstly, you need to let go of negative generalisations about women. You’ve made a few comments now that are troubling (eg women can be very vindictive…).
So far I’ve not had anyluck with internet dating. I don’t know what speed dating is. Singles groups sounds good but I don’t know of any of those around here. But surely there is something. Maybe some church around here has it if not catholic. There’s nothing here in the whole vicariate and I’ve talked to the VF.
That could’ve been the situation. I didn’t see any signs. I will never approach anyone I don’t know like that again. I think trying to put someone in jail is a little too far and maybe she should’ve went to security and all would’ve been straightened out. That’s just my way of looking at it. I don’t think it would be appropriate to ask someone out that you are not friends with, know by mutual friends or maybe met at a singles place. I have learned from this.
Have you tried the Catholic specific sites?
Well the closest I’ve come to dating in internet dating is that I have had someone continually talk to me. I asked if you wanted to meet at McDonalds for soda pop and talk about things that interest us and she completely ignored my invite and continues talking to me. I really don’t feel like asking again.
She may have missed your invite. She may be reluctant to meet until she spends more time chatting online. If you aren’t prepared to make a bit more effort, then perhaps you aren’t really ready for what dating and eventually marriage involves.
Well she seems to have not returned my last communication. She still has my mails from our communications she can go back and review them and see my invite. When a woman doesn’t return a mail on online dating there’s a reason. Simply there’re not interested. It’s like giving your phone number to a girl at the bar you know or have talked too. If they don’t call you there’s nothing to pursue. I do not wish to push harrassment or incarceration or waste my time.
You asked in an email/chat to go out? ick.
I’m not spending a fortune on them. I was relaxing at the mall when I used to work and me and an acquictance used to go to the mall. I haven’t been to the mall in years.
asking a girl for her number is not rude. When online dating, it is COMMON COURTESY-- that is the next step for someone to feel comfortable. Expecting someone to meet you without ever speaking with them first is rude.
They think they’re alluring anyway. As a matter of fact I know a bartender whose 22 and has and kid and lives with her boyfriend. She swore to me that he was not her boyfriend and she was her daughters father… lol What’s that. And she lies to me I didn’t fall for it and I consider her a friend now. I talked to her bf and figured her game out while half paying attention to her. I had a woman once give me her cell number in a bar and called her and she got my number. I never did call her though.
Well I asked a girl that claims to be a christian after telling her I was new to this for her number. I was fortunate she read my message and of course got no response.
