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C
CRV
Guest
Continuing on from Bushum
So if there is not any purpose of amendment then absolution cannot be granted as the person does not intend to change their ways. (assuming you are still having marital relations) , so then nothing would be forgiven. You would have to confess not only marrying outside the Catholic Church, but also any sexual activity between you both - as these are adultery until an annulment is obtained.
The question of a sacrilegious confession due to the fact “if” there is no firm purpose of amendment (living chastely or better yet separately, until an annulment is obtained) arises in my mind too. And a sacrilegious confession is a mortal sin.
By going ahead and marrying outside of the Catholic Church without a dispensation from the Bishop, (and in your situation I highly doubt it would be granted), is also a mortal sin as far as I know.
Also committing a sin with the idea - I can do xyz and then go to confession because “God will forgive me” is the sin of presumption, which is another mortal sin.
Try to put feelings aside - and will the good of both your eternal souls and obey God and the Church. If he truly loves you, respects you, then surely he would be prepared to obtain an annulment before getting married in the Catholic Church.
What would you do if an annulment is not granted? Your choice is to separate and remain chaste, or continue to commit adultery? Please don’t put the happiness of this life above the happiness of eternal life.
As far as I know, if you went to confession as outlined by Bushum, as an annulment would not have been granted before marrying, and assuming you two continue to live as husband and wife, that confession would not be valid if there is no determination to live chastely until an annulment is/may be granted.You would be marrying an already married man thus committing adultery. You would be in a state of mortal sin and not able to take the Eucharist. You could go to confession and get absolved but you would be immediately continuing in the same sin.
So if there is not any purpose of amendment then absolution cannot be granted as the person does not intend to change their ways. (assuming you are still having marital relations) , so then nothing would be forgiven. You would have to confess not only marrying outside the Catholic Church, but also any sexual activity between you both - as these are adultery until an annulment is obtained.
The question of a sacrilegious confession due to the fact “if” there is no firm purpose of amendment (living chastely or better yet separately, until an annulment is obtained) arises in my mind too. And a sacrilegious confession is a mortal sin.
By going ahead and marrying outside of the Catholic Church without a dispensation from the Bishop, (and in your situation I highly doubt it would be granted), is also a mortal sin as far as I know.
Also committing a sin with the idea - I can do xyz and then go to confession because “God will forgive me” is the sin of presumption, which is another mortal sin.
Try to put feelings aside - and will the good of both your eternal souls and obey God and the Church. If he truly loves you, respects you, then surely he would be prepared to obtain an annulment before getting married in the Catholic Church.
What would you do if an annulment is not granted? Your choice is to separate and remain chaste, or continue to commit adultery? Please don’t put the happiness of this life above the happiness of eternal life.
M
Mi_Rose
Guest
There should be someone at the church who will help him through this process called the field advocate.
The process is time consuming but only hard because he will have to take a long look at his marriage, what went wrong and , and what part of that each one of them is responsible for. It can be a time of great healing.
The process is time consuming but only hard because he will have to take a long look at his marriage, what went wrong and , and what part of that each one of them is responsible for. It can be a time of great healing.
V
Vico
Guest
Forgiveness requires proper disposition and repentence. St. Pope John Paul II wrote:Yes, I have doubts about marriage in the Episcopalian Church. Our fondest wish would be to be married in the Catholic Church. What am I to do if he won’t go through the annulment process? I love this man dearly and want to be married. Would not God forgive us? I can’t imagine we would not be forgiven!
https://w2.vatican.va/content/john-..._jp-ii_exh_19811122_familiaris-consortio.htmlReconciliation in the sacrament of Penance which would open the way to the Eucharist, can only be granted to those who, repenting of having broken the sign of the Covenant and of fidelity to Christ, are sincerely ready to undertake a way of life that is no longer in contradiction to the indissolubility of marriage.
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Daisy
Guest
True love is self sacrifice.Yes, I have doubts about marriage in the Episcopalian Church. Our fondest wish would be to be married in the Catholic Church. What am I to do if he won’t go through the annulment process? I love this man dearly and want to be married. Would not God forgive us? I can’t imagine we would not be forgiven!
K
kainosktisis
Guest
(1) But…wouldn’t this be the sin of presumption?I have been praying God, in His infinite mercy will forgive us! Please pray for us!
(2) Leaving the Church for one not in communion with the Pope - isn’t that a sin, too?
(3) Wouldn’t you be able to receive communion during the annulment process as long as you both are in a brother-sister relationship until the process is complete, & then once he’s cleared, you are both free to marry?
Tis_Bearself
Patron
I loved a guy once too, it was wrong (against commandments and church teaching, sinful, etc)
I spent many hours during many years praying that God would forgive me or somehow let this be okay because it was love, and love couldn’t be wrong, and I couldn’t live without this guy or so I thought.
God eventually made it quite clear I needed to end this business and it was wrong and had been wrong all along.
And I got along just fine without the man.
If you’re having to ask God’s forgiveness in advance for a love situation, it’s wrong, with a capital W.
Either fix the wrong or stop what you’re doing.
Running off to the permissive Episcopalian church that, let’s face it, is poaching Catholics and leading them astray by being easy and permissive and throwing the rule book out the window is wrong too, and you know it, and your conscience is bothering you or you wouldn’t be making these threads.
I hope your partner can get an annulment and it all works out for you to be married in the Catholic church.
I am sorry to be harsh but I need to speak the truth here.
If you love this man then you won’t be helping him sin by being with you while he’s still married. You’ll be helping him hopefully get an annulment so you both can hopefully be together properly in God’s eyes. As for the questions being intrusive or whatever, he’s a grown man, he should be able to handle it.
God bless
I spent many hours during many years praying that God would forgive me or somehow let this be okay because it was love, and love couldn’t be wrong, and I couldn’t live without this guy or so I thought.
God eventually made it quite clear I needed to end this business and it was wrong and had been wrong all along.
And I got along just fine without the man.
If you’re having to ask God’s forgiveness in advance for a love situation, it’s wrong, with a capital W.
Either fix the wrong or stop what you’re doing.
Running off to the permissive Episcopalian church that, let’s face it, is poaching Catholics and leading them astray by being easy and permissive and throwing the rule book out the window is wrong too, and you know it, and your conscience is bothering you or you wouldn’t be making these threads.
I hope your partner can get an annulment and it all works out for you to be married in the Catholic church.
I am sorry to be harsh but I need to speak the truth here.
If you love this man then you won’t be helping him sin by being with you while he’s still married. You’ll be helping him hopefully get an annulment so you both can hopefully be together properly in God’s eyes. As for the questions being intrusive or whatever, he’s a grown man, he should be able to handle it.
God bless
I agree, except is marriage is presumed valid until the proven contrary. Annulement process is not a simple formality. It is always possible that the marriage is valid, and the people concerned are not declared free to marry.(3) Wouldn’t you be able to receive communion during the annulment process as long as you both are in a brother-sister relationship until the process is complete, & then once he’s cleared, you are both free to marry?
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dixianne1
Guest
Thank you all for your (name removed by moderator)ut. I believe you speak truthfully and from your hearts. I am praying and encouraging and trying to be patient about the annulment which will hopefully happen in our favor. But yes, we are all sinners and I think of the words asking God to forgive “for what I have done and what I have failed to do.” He alone knows our hearts and I believe that in His ocean of mercy He understands our situation and will forgive.
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dixianne1
Guest
I believe God loves all His children and wants us to be happy. I know He is an all loving and merciful God. The God I know and believe in for my entire life (and I am a senior citizen!) does not banish souls in eternal fire when they have lived good Christian Catholic lives. Yes, I confess I am a sinner but God understands lonely souls who have found love again. We will try to do the right thing. Maybe not in the traditional time frame but it will happen. Thank you again for your (name removed by moderator)ut.
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Gingersnaps4
Guest
You asked for Catholic opinions even though you knew what you were going to do, all along. Well, I hope you are right and you will be forgiven. What do you plan to do about your leadership roles in the church, that you mentioned in your other post? Do you plan to leave the church, or pretend you aren’t married?
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dixianne1
Guest
No, I can’t imagine leaving the Church which I love. Thankfully, there are several other couples that have been in our situation and are offering their help and support. We are also working with a wonderful priest. As for my work in the Church, I have always devoted my time (a lot), not much talent) and treasure to our church and wish to continue. Right now, we are just a elderly couple working on getting married. I want to be responsible and respectful of our Church. He knows our hearts and loves us despite our human weaknesses.
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1Lord1Faith
Guest
This makes me wonder how old you are. If you’re that old is sex even something in the picture? If not, why even bother with a Catholic ceremony. I don’t know the details about that sort of situation, but I’m sure your priest does. It’s good that you’re working with him on this. If for no other reason than to make him aware of the problem.We both don’t want to wait for a period of a year to get married at our ages.
I’m probably more sympathetic to you than other posters here. I tend to agree with your thoughts rather than the thoughts of the other posters here. But I would still try to work the dilemma through the pastor first.
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C
CRV
Guest
Yes, God is love and mercy. But He is also a Just God. Jesus will return as the just Judge. I don’t understand why people refuse to acknowledge God as He is. Instead only recognising one side of God ie His mercy and love. I sometimes wonder if that is because in our hearts we know He would not approve of our actions/decisions, so we convince ourselves He’d understand?
There is also the aspect of temporal punishment due to sins committed which can either be remitted in this life or in the next ie purgatory - assuming one dies in the state of grace/in God’s friendship or is blessed with a happy death - receiving the sacraments before dying.
Please see CCC #1472 & #1473 concerning temporal punishment due to sin.
The goal in this life is not happiness for however long we live, (though we all hope and want to be), as happiness can be a fleeting emotion. The goal of this life is for eternal happiness with God in eternity.
*Edited to correct a typo.
There is also the aspect of temporal punishment due to sins committed which can either be remitted in this life or in the next ie purgatory - assuming one dies in the state of grace/in God’s friendship or is blessed with a happy death - receiving the sacraments before dying.
Please see CCC #1472 & #1473 concerning temporal punishment due to sin.
The goal in this life is not happiness for however long we live, (though we all hope and want to be), as happiness can be a fleeting emotion. The goal of this life is for eternal happiness with God in eternity.
*Edited to correct a typo.
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