Catholics and stress

[Annie]

I grew up when the idea was to let it all hang out, and we were all like pressure cookers who would explode if we did not vent our feelings, so I returned to the Church with a lot of bad habits

The thing is, I don’t know what it “looks like” to face difficulties without getting stressed out. This summer was extremely stressful, and at the end, I had just used up my annual quota of calm. As an example, I got a bill for over $400 for something which I thought I had finished paying for. They had explained one aspect of it very badly. Since I only make around $200/week, I felt stressed out, right? And so when I mentioned it to someone I know, I was rather emotional in my explanation. It was very clear that I was exasperated and upset.

This to me seems not Catholic, somehow, but I am not sure what a Catholic response would be? I wouldd appreciate any advice or experience

 

[Trishie]

You’re human, Annie, practical difficulties are upsetting.

We need to be charitable and do our best to handle thing calmly and without personal attack, gossip, or defamation.
However we can look at Jesus, to know that it’s okay to be human.

As we are told in Hebrews 4:15, Jesus never sinned, therefore, that He did express various emotions, shows us that it isn’t intrinsically sinful to express our emotions. Feelings aren’t intrinsically sinful, but we do need to regulate our response with charity.
Jesus publicly wept over Jerusalem for the poor response to their Savior, and he wept over the death of Lazarus; He felt compassion for others, and healed many.

He displayed righteous anger in the temple (Matthew 21:12) because the moneylenders and merchants were disrespecting God’s temple,
and also disappointment, for instance at the disbelief of many of His people who deprived themselves of graces:
" He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored. (Mark 3:5)

He expressed disappointment when He said “O unbelieving and perverse generation, . . . how long shall I stay with you and put up with you?” (Luke 9:41)
Jesus is showing us that emotions are wrong, they’re human, and He expressed them without sin, as should we.

You’re understandably upset that you owe a sum that puts you under financial strain.
Our task then is to get on with meeting our responsibilities, without abuse, gossip, slander,
but apparently a little venting is human, and probably a way to begin to cope .
God bless you

 

[RoseofMary1]

Jesus said he was meek and humble of heart. He also got mad and whipped merchants out of the Temple of God. Emotions should follow reason, and that is a habit.

If you are having money problems, here’s a suggestion: Tithe and then put your finances in God’s hands and expect God to provide. God honors faith. If he wants you to be poor like Jesus, He will still provide what you need.

 

[Annie]

Thanks, Trishie, but what about the peace of God? It still seems like I should not be venting, or that like venting is sinful and I am being tempted to, or something. Espcially since when I get even more stressed out, I can lose my cool completely.

I am so confused…

 

[Annie]

Oddly enough, when I got this job, I told God I would give Him 10% of my tips (the vaaaaast majority of my pay), so the more I got in tips…

I just have the impression that no matter what happens, people should just remain calm and reasonable, and I am not hitting that goal.

 

[pianistclare]

Where did you get this impression? Do you not recall that Jesus got pretty upset at the money changers in the Temple? We get upset with ourselves all the time. We have regrets, we make mistakes. But yes, we are to be kind and gentle with others, and that sometimes can be difficult, but always beneficial in the end. When we forgive others, we strengthen our own souls.
When things happen that upset us we pray, and then we TRUST.
Get an image of the Divine MErcy icon. Maybe even set it up as the screen saver on your computer, and pray fervently daily, JESUS, I PLACE MY TRUST IN YOU" and see if it’s not just a bit easier to chill out with each passing day. If you fail, dust yourself off and get back up. IT’s the human condition If we were perfected already, we’d already reside in heaven.
You’re likely doing fine.

 

[patricius79]

Annie, Emotions and feelings in themselves are not sinful. As the Catechism says under “passions” (in the index), they can be taken up into the virtues or perverted into the vices. I think the key is prayer. I am very emotional myself. I have to just keep letting myself feel how I feel, while at the same time constantly invoking Mary and letting her unite me and conform me to Jesus Christ.

 

[Lara]

I think your emotions will level out as you age. You have to get to the point where you look back at all the stress you got through and gain confidence that you will handle future stress better.

Is it possible one of your parents flew off the handle whenever something came up? You may be emulating that parent without being aware of it.

You might need to spend time with a woman who handles stress well.

There’s also a certain amount of drama that we all enjoy if we’re honest with ourselves. We like to have a story to tell others. It’s a type of pride. I myself am very stressed out all the time, but even I have to say that some of it is for dramatic effect.

I like the suggestion to put our cares in God’s hands. One summer, I prayed for money every time I got a bill. The phone bill was $32, and God sent me $35. It was that tight all summer. By Sept. 1, I had $4 in my bank account. I was wondering why God had to cut things so fine, but I made it til the money rolled in again.