Catholics in Mormon Country

[2cherubs]

My first-ever post. This is a difficult topic for me, so bear with me.

My husband has an enticing job opportunity that would involve relocating our family to Provo, UT. We don’t mind living as a Catholic family where we are a minority, and we don’t really care what people choose to believe and practice so long as they respect us.

Recently, however, a friend of ours who is both Mormon and a graduate of Brigham Young University cautioned us about how hard it may be to live there as non-Mormons. Her comments have broached some concerns. Will we experience discrimination, either overt or subtle? Will we feel socially isolated? Will we adjust to even the most minor cultural changes, e.g. very few pubs or coffee shops? There are no Catholic schools in the immediate area, (and I won’t be homeschooling), so will our children struggle to fit in? What about my husband working in what is definitely an LDS-dominated workplace?

I feel bad for even asking these questions because I want to assume the good in people. But based on our friend’s insights, I don’t think that these worries are totally unwarranted.

On the bright side, we found a parish in neighboring Orem, St. Francis of Assisi, that seems pretty active. The job prospect sounds great, and the area is GORGEOUS with lots of camping and outdoor rec opportunities.

I would love to hear from any Catholics with experience living in an area as a religious minority…particularly in this or another heavily LDS area. I would appreciate any wisdom (and candor!) that would help us make our decision. Thank you, and God bless!

 

[anp1215]

My first-ever post. This is a difficult topic for me, so bear with me.

My husband has an enticing job opportunity that would involve relocating our family to Provo, UT. We don’t mind living as a Catholic family where we are a minority, and we don’t really care what people choose to believe and practice so long as they respect us.

Recently, however, a friend of ours who is both Mormon and a graduate of Brigham Young University cautioned us about how hard it may be to live there as non-Mormons. Her comments have broached some concerns. Will we experience discrimination, either overt or subtle? Will we feel socially isolated? Will we adjust to even the most minor cultural changes, e.g. very few pubs or coffee shops? There are no Catholic schools in the immediate area, (and I won’t be homeschooling), so will our children struggle to fit in? What about my husband working in what is definitely an LDS-dominated workplace?

I feel bad for even asking these questions because I want to assume the good in people. But based on our friend’s insights, I don’t think that these worries are totally unwarranted.

On the bright side, we found a parish in neighboring Orem, St. Francis of Assisi, that seems pretty active. The job prospect sounds great, and the area is GORGEOUS with lots of camping and outdoor rec opportunities.

I would love to hear from any Catholics with experience living in an area as a religious minority…particularly in this or another heavily LDS area. I would appreciate any wisdom (and candor!) that would help us make our decision. Thank you, and God bless!

Funny you mention this, because I recently researched living as a Catholic in Provo. The good part seems to be is that it is very family oriented, with low crime. The bad seems to be that even though it may be unintentional, it seems to be somewhat difficult to make friends, and can feel isolated. A big reason is that the population is I believe around 95% Mormon, and most of the things they do revolve around their local ward (like a parish). So if you’re not a member of the ward and attending there, you’re likely to be left out of a lot of things.

I suggest you look up this topic on city-data forums, there are many posts from Catholics and non-Mormons about living in the area. Some say that it’s terrible and they feel ostracized, others say it’s not so bad. Another option is to live in SLC, which is more culturally and religiously diverse, and commute to Provo.

Good luck!

 

[utah_rose]

I live in Sandy, Utah (a suburb of Salt Lake) and although I’ve never lived in Provo, it does have a reputation of being very isolationist as far as the Mormon religion is concerned. If you are a minority (Catholic or other) you will have to be prepared for this, unless for some reason you end up in a more liberal neighborhood (I’ve lived in Utah for about 35 years).

Provo is a very nice area true, but you will have to prepare yourself for shunning from most of your Mormon neighbors. Another thing, Mormons don’t want their kids socializing with non-Mormons. Provo is practically the center of Mormonism in the state because of BYU even though the SLC temple is located in Salt Lake City. And, your kids will probably be teased at school or worse by some of the teachers. I know this because we moved here when my daughter was 9, and Sandy is a bit more cosmopolitan than Provo. If your Catholic faith is strong, and if your kids are lucky enough to find friends that aren’t Mormon to play and associate with you’ll be lucky. Also, yes prepare for everything to shut down on Sunday. If the 4th of July falls on Sunday it will be celebrated on Monday. And Mormons don’t go to Church on Christmas unless it’s Sunday.

If I were you, I’d consider moving to Draper Utah or here in Sandy and have your husband commute. There are more Catholic schools around and parishes here and many neighborhoods aren’t completely Mormon so your kids will have friends to play with. In addition a train between SLC and Provo will be beginning in the near future and your husband wouldn’t even have to drive.

That said, we do have wonderful outdoor activities here, and the state is family centered. I doubt that you’ll see any same-sex marriage laws being enacted here and there are some wonderful Mormon people who aren’t as rigid. I do hope you find a place to live that you’ll like.

 

[anp1215]

I live in Sandy, Utah (a suburb of Salt Lake) and although I’ve never lived in Provo, it does have a reputation of being very isolationist as far as the Mormon religion is concerned. If you are a minority (Catholic or other) you will have to be prepared for this, unless for some reason you end up in a more liberal neighborhood (I’ve lived in Utah for about 35 years).

Provo is a very nice area true, but you will have to prepare yourself for shunning from most of your Mormon neighbors. Another thing, Mormons don’t want their kids socializing with non-Mormons. Provo is practically the center of Mormonism in the state because of BYU even though the SLC temple is located in Salt Lake City. And, your kids will probably be teased at school or worse by some of the teachers. I know this because we moved here when my daughter was 9, and Sandy is a bit more cosmopolitan than Provo. If your Catholic faith is strong, and if your kids are lucky enough to find friends that aren’t Mormon to play and associate with you’ll be lucky. Also, yes prepare for everything to shut down on Sunday. If the 4th of July falls on Sunday it will be celebrated on Monday. And Mormons don’t go to Church on Christmas unless it’s Sunday.

If I were you, I’d consider moving to Draper Utah or here in Sandy and have your husband commute. There are more Catholic schools around and parishes here and many neighborhoods aren’t completely Mormon so your kids will have friends to play with. In addition a train between SLC and Provo will be beginning in the near future and your husband wouldn’t even have to drive.

That said, we do have wonderful outdoor activities here, and the state is family centered. I doubt that you’ll see any same-sex marriage laws being enacted here and there are some wonderful Mormon people who aren’t as rigid. I do hope you find a place to live that you’ll like.

What you say here is pretty much what I’ve read. Although I haven’t lived there I felt like from researching I did get a pretty good picture of what it’s like.

There is also a temple in Provo, but I expect it is not used as much because it’s not as grand and beautiful as the SLC temple.

 

[Flluffycat]

My best friend is Mormon and we talked about the way to Utah Mormons are so provincial. What she conveyed to me, in so many words, is there is a certain snobbishness about being a Utah Mormon–they tend to look down their noses at Mormons who aren’t, which is the vast majority of LDS.

I’m not sure about whether or not you need to be careful about letting you children make friends with Mormon kids. As long as they and their families respect your desire NOT to be prosylestized (sorry about my spelling), I don’t see the harm in it. Children need to learn how to get along with people who don’t share their beliefs, live a different kind of life–you know what I mean.

I mentioned that my best friend is Mormon and let me tell you, they had what I call “Mormon stuff” (sayings, prayers, scripture verses, etc.) plastered all over their home. But they NEVER tried to convert me and I didn’t try to convert them. Since we respected each other’s wishes (I didn’t try to convert them to Protestantism, Roman Catholocism, etc.), we got along fine; we’ve been friends for 20+ years.

 

[utah_rose]

I have friends too who are Mormon, and most are very nice, and haven’t tried to convert me, but they (if in a group) do tend to talk about ward activities and such, and some of their leaders. I don’t see any harm in leaving the kids play with the Mormon kids, but just saying a lot of them are told not to let their kids play with non-Mormons or even associate with them after a certain age. And I don’t know how many times my daughter was told she’d “go to hell” because she wasn’t a Mormon when she was in public school. At the time there was only one Catholic parochial school here.

I understand though that in other areas of the country the Mormons are quite nice and not as “snobbish” as the ones in Utah. In fact, some won’t move to Utah because of this,

If you do decide to move here though there are lots of pluses, There is relatively low crime and lots of children activities. Recently I think there are now Catholic soccer teams etc. that take advantage of Sunday, and play their games then. And I hope that you have really nice neighbors. My neighbors are very nice, but there’s a coolness because of the fact we’re not Mormon. We moved here from Alabama and it was culture shock. Even though my neighbors there were Baptist, we always had time for coffee klatches.

 

[2cherubs]

Thanks. This is all really helpful. To clarify, no, I have no problem with my children making friends with kids of other faiths. My one concern is that they won’t be able to make friends and will start to wonder why they aren’t getting birthday party invitations, Student-of-the-Week awards, etc. Discrimination can be subtle and not even recognized (or admitted) by the offenders. My LDS friend mentioned in my first post, who hails from the Pacific Northwest, found the environment in Provo “holier than thou/Mormon-ier than thou.” I was just worried that if they treat their own that way, we might be especially ostracized… But to keep things in perspective, this is all just anecdotal!

I will check out real estate in Draper and Sandy. Thanks!

 

[damis]

And Mormons don’t go to Church on http://www.filii.info/g.gifChristmas unless it’s Sunday.

 

[garyo49]

Thanks. This is all really helpful. To clarify, no, I have no problem with my children making friends with kids of other faiths. My one concern is that they won’t be able to make friends and will start to wonder why they aren’t getting birthday party invitations, Student-of-the-Week awards, etc. Discrimination can be subtle and not even recognized (or admitted) by the offenders. My LDS friend mentioned in my first post, who hails from the Pacific Northwest, found the environment in Provo “holier than thou/Mormon-ier than thou.” I was just worried that if they treat their own that way, we might be especially ostracized… But to keep things in perspective, this is all just anecdotal!

I will check out real estate in Draper and Sandy. Thanks!

The Mormon Church has it’s own unique culture that is hard for outsiders to understand. Utah Co. also has a unique culture within Mormondom. My family lives in S. Utah near the Arizona border. A few years ago my my youngest daughter and her family moved to Lehi in northern Utah Co. One of the first things my daughter asked was “why do you think my kids are having such a hard time making friends”? She said the kids never had a hard time here even though there are a high percentage of mormons here also.

I grew up mormon. Everyone of my friends were mormom. Practically everyone of my school teachers were mormon. All of my neighbors were mormon. All of my activities outside of school were mormon activities. On top of all of that my parents told us kids that we shouldn’t associate with non-mormons, especially the evil Catholics. I didn’t think much about it when I was young, but I’m sure non-mormon kids must have felt like outsiders. Mormons will tell you different, but they can be cliquish and that is understandable because mormonism and mormon activities are their life, literally.

Take the advice about Sandy or Draper if it isn’t too far away. I went to a Catholic Church in Orem a few years ago because I was up there visiting and I never went again because they had folding chairs and no kneelers. Now when I visit my daughter I go to St.John the Baptist Church in Draper. Beautiful Church and campus. God Bless.

 

[garn9173]

My sister and her husband are Non-Mormon’s and live in the SLC suburb of Layton, they relay stories that you cann’t even escape the Mormon church on the local news because it’s very Mormon centered. It’s an entiretly different world out there.

My brother-in-law’s ex and daughter are Momons, his wife about blew a gasket when she discovered they had a coffee maker in the house and threatned to withold her visiting unless the coffee maker is out of sight when she visits.

 

[Wackotrad]

My sister and her husband are Non-Mormon’s and live in the SLC suburb of Layton, they relay stories that you cann’t even escape the Mormon church on the local news because it’s very Mormon centered. It’s an entiretly different world out there.
.

Ha! I second this. I go to Utah occasionally for work, and I’ve never been anywhere in the U.S. that had such a different culture. I do think the state is beautiful, family friendly and low crime, as others have mentioned, but I couldn’t speak to how hard it would be to be a religious minority there.

 

[pebblechamp]

Hi. Did you ever end up finding a good place to live? I ran across your post while trying to find what the best neighborhoods in the Sandy area are. I’m in a similar situation in that I have a phenomenal executive job offer (this case it’s south of Salt Lake, not Provo), but I want to ensure that my son is in the most diverse environment possible in terms of beliefs, cultural background, etc. I am from California (SF Bay Area) and my wife is actually from Chile originally. While the job is a wonderful opportunity for my career, we are very apprehensive about raising our son in Utah. We are actually both LDS and both went to BYU at one point, and so we know how difficult it can be to live in the Provo area in terms of an insulating culture that you can’t seem to escape (I can’t imagine how daunting it must seem as a member of a different faith). My wife grew-up Catholic (converted Mormon at 16) and her family is all still Catholic, meanwhile my Dad grew-up Catholic (converted at 19) and all of his family is still Catholic. I lived with his brother’s family for a few months (my uncle is definitely one of my personal heroes), attended mass with them, etc., and I have great respect for members of the Catholic Church.

I read all of the comments on this thread and I think that most are definitely founded, though I would add (without excusing the behavior) that I think every religion has people that are cliquish and closed-off, just like every religion also has people that are open, friendly, and accommodating. Coming from a very diverse Bay Area (in terms of thought, race, religion, etc), the Provo area was a very different place for me when I first left for college. At first it was nice to be around some many people of my faith (not the case in Cali), but it became stifling. When I finally graduated and moved from Utah, it felt like I was not only graduating from BYU but also from Utah.

Now that it seems life may be taking us back there, I want to make sure that my son is exposed to as diverse a background as possible. We have been looking at the areas around and between Willow Creek CC and Hidden Valley CC, but just by going off of home prices it’s hard to tell which neighborhoods are valued higher (since expensive homes are mixed right in and around cheaper homes). We don’t want to just talk to a realtor because I know the first question will be that we are LDS and so they will try to steer us to LDS neighborhoods and it will be hard to explain that we actually do not want that, per se.

Thank you for your help. And if there are any questions I can answer directly about the Mormon culture in or outside of Utah, I would be more than happy to try and provide an objective viewpoint.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I have lived in a heavily Mormon area before. I would consider Catholic schools because the public schools in a heavy heavy Mormon area will actually be very Mormon. And you may not feel included in the community. However Mormons tend to develop amazing safe, moral communities. So it will have some benefits.

Find a buddy, get some bikes, some nice clothes, and ride your bikes around some neighborhoods in Utah and make some converts!

 

[Honour]

We are currently living in a small town near Ogden. I absolutely love it here. There is a bit of culture shock, but for the most part, I find the LDS influence very welcome. This place is by far the cleanest, safest, most family friendly place we have lived. A few notes however, I work on a military base, so I don’t have to worry about it at the workplace, my kids aren’t school age yet, and our immediate neighborhood is not very LDS concentrated, and we aren’t really social that much. Look at the closest churches, if you live in a subdivision with a church in the middle, then you are right in the middle of it. If you live where there is not a church within walking distance (or its walkable, but more than a few blocks) then you will have less of the heavy influence.

 

[Honour]

We are currently living in a small town near Ogden. I absolutely love it here. There is a bit of culture shock, but for the most part, I find the LDS influence very welcome. This place is by far the cleanest, safest, most family friendly place we have lived. A few notes however, I work on a military base, so I don’t have to worry about it at the workplace, my kids aren’t school age yet, and our immediate neighborhood is not very LDS concentrated, and we aren’t really social that much. Look at the closest churches, if you live in a subdivision with a church in the middle, then you are right in the middle of it. If you live where there is not a church within walking distance (or its walkable, but more than a few blocks) then you will have less of the heavy influence.

 

[Abundant]

My brother-in-law’s ex and daughter are Momons, his wife about blew a gasket when she discovered they had a coffee maker in the house and threatned to withold her visiting unless the coffee maker is out of sight when she visits.

They can’t have coffee!!!

I would die the first day. Add that to my list of reasons to be Catholic!!

 

[obsigmatec]

Hi,

My family is relocating to SLC from Nebraska - which is heavily Catholic. My wife and I read a lot about moving into the area before accepting this new job. We are concerned about the “shunning” by Mormons - not so much for ourselves because we can take it - it’s for our kids that we worry.

The advice we were given by many was to get our kids in a Catholic school (which they would have anyways), get involved in the parish, and don’t get a home in the remote suburbs. We’ve chosen to live in Sandy and will send our kids to Blessed Sacrament School. I’ve visited the school and it looks great.

I’ve been out here in advance of my family since March 1. I work for a small company in the downtown area. I was very upfront about my religion from the first time the recruiter contacted me and I’ve had no issues at work. I’d read about the Mormon aversion to coffee but there are multiple coffee makers in the office. I’ve had no issues at work with being Catholic.

In fact I’ve had no issues at all with Mormons. My recruiter was a Mormon, my realtor is an active Mormon, I’m sure most of colleagues and the neighbors in my apartment complex are Mormon - no one has hassled me at all nor invited me to the ward house.

I’ve been to mass at Blessed Sacrament, St. Vincent de Paul, and the Cathedral. All were beautiful churches and I felt welcome. The Cathedral is stunning.

My wife and I are viewing this as an opportunity for our family to get closer to our faith. It’s easy to take your faith for granted when you live in such a heavily Catholic area. Here it will be different - we’ll be the clear minority. And I think that will give us a stronger sense of Catholic identity.

We’ve now purchased a home in Sandy and will be moving into it in June. The remaining concern I have is my kids - how will the neighbor kids treat them? I know how mean kids can be - regardless of faith - and I don’t want my kids mistreated.

I’ll re-post later in the summer with an update.

In the meantime, I’d love to hear from any others sharing the experience of being Catholic in Mormon Country.

Regards to all,

obsigmatec

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Hi,

My family is relocating to SLC from Nebraska - which is heavily Catholic. My wife and I read a lot about moving into the area before accepting this new job. We are concerned about the “shunning” by Mormons - not so much for ourselves because we can take it - it’s for our kids that we worry.

The advice we were given by many was to get our kids in a Catholic school (which they would have anyways), get involved in the parish, and don’t get a home in the remote suburbs. We’ve chosen to live in Sandy and will send our kids to Blessed Sacrament School. I’ve visited the school and it looks great.

I’ve been out here in advance of my family since March 1. I work for a small company in the downtown area. I was very upfront about my religion from the first time the recruiter contacted me and I’ve had no issues at work. I’d read about the Mormon aversion to coffee but there are multiple coffee makers in the office. I’ve had no issues at work with being Catholic.

In fact I’ve had no issues at all with Mormons. My recruiter was a Mormon, my realtor is an active Mormon, I’m sure most of colleagues and the neighbors in my apartment complex are Mormon - no one has hassled me at all nor invited me to the ward house.

I’ve been to mass at Blessed Sacrament, St. Vincent de Paul, and the Cathedral. All were beautiful churches and I felt welcome. The Cathedral is stunning.

My wife and I are viewing this as an opportunity for our family to get closer to our faith. It’s easy to take your faith for granted when you live in such a heavily Catholic area. Here it will be different - we’ll be the clear minority. And I think that will give us a stronger sense of Catholic identity.

We’ve now purchased a home in Sandy and will be moving into it in June. The remaining concern I have is my kids - how will the neighbor kids treat them? I know how mean kids can be - regardless of faith - and I don’t want my kids mistreated.

I’ll re-post later in the summer with an update.

In the meantime, I’d love to hear from any others sharing the experience of being Catholic in Mormon Country.

Regards to all,

obsigmatec

SLC is a wonderful area. And if you put your kids in Catholic schools or homeschool there would be no problem. Theologically the Mormons and Catholic are far apart but those Mormons can sure make a nice town to live in! Sandy is nice I have been there.

My wife and I are looking to move back to that area of the country from Indiana.

I am curious what line of work you are in?

Feel free to PM me.

 

[lax16]

My first-ever post. This is a difficult topic for me, so bear with me.

My husband has an enticing job opportunity that would involve relocating our family to Provo, UT. We don’t mind living as a Catholic family where we are a minority, and we don’t really care what people choose to believe and practice so long as they respect us.

Recently, however, a friend of ours who is both Mormon and a graduate of Brigham Young University cautioned us about how hard it may be to live there as non-Mormons. Her comments have broached some concerns. Will we experience discrimination, either overt or subtle? Will we feel socially isolated? Will we adjust to even the most minor cultural changes, e.g. very few pubs or coffee shops? There are no Catholic schools in the immediate area, (and I won’t be homeschooling), so will our children struggle to fit in? What about my husband working in what is definitely an LDS-dominated workplace?

I feel bad for even asking these questions because I want to assume the good in people. But based on our friend’s insights, I don’t think that these worries are totally unwarranted.

On the bright side, we found a parish in neighboring Orem, St. Francis of Assisi, that seems pretty active. The job prospect sounds great, and the area is GORGEOUS with lots of camping and outdoor rec opportunities.

I would love to hear from any Catholics with experience living in an area as a religious minority…particularly in this or another heavily LDS area. I would appreciate any wisdom (and candor!) that would help us make our decision. Thank you, and God bless!

Hello!

We moved to Utah 8 years ago and have had a very interesting time of it.

I agree with the posters who said to check out Sandy and Draper. I definitely would not live in Utah county.

The biggest mistake we made was not checking out the “cultures” of the different Catholic parishes and schools before deciding where to live.

I would put the kids in Catholic school. Unfortunately, the Catholics schools here have adopted the Common Core and that is starting to become an issue for some people.

There are some nice things about living in Utah. I think the most important thing is finding the right place to live and the right parish/school for your family.

Feel free to pm me for more info.

 

[iepuras]

Hi,

My family is relocating to SLC from Nebraska - which is heavily Catholic. My wife and I read a lot about moving into the area before accepting this new job. We are concerned about the “shunning” by Mormons - not so much for ourselves because we can take it - it’s for our kids that we worry.

The advice we were given by many was to get our kids in a Catholic school (which they would have anyways), get involved in the parish, and don’t get a home in the remote suburbs. We’ve chosen to live in Sandy and will send our kids to Blessed Sacrament School. I’ve visited the school and it looks great.

I’ve been out here in advance of my family since March 1. I work for a small company in the downtown area. I was very upfront about my religion from the first time the recruiter contacted me and I’ve had no issues at work. I’d read about the Mormon aversion to coffee but there are multiple coffee makers in the office. I’ve had no issues at work with being Catholic.

In fact I’ve had no issues at all with Mormons. My recruiter was a Mormon, my realtor is an active Mormon, I’m sure most of colleagues and the neighbors in my apartment complex are Mormon - no one has hassled me at all nor invited me to the ward house.

I’ve been to mass at Blessed Sacrament, St. Vincent de Paul, and the Cathedral. All were beautiful churches and I felt welcome. The Cathedral is stunning.

My wife and I are viewing this as an opportunity for our family to get closer to our faith. It’s easy to take your faith for granted when you live in such a heavily Catholic area. Here it will be different - we’ll be the clear minority. And I think that will give us a stronger sense of Catholic identity.

We’ve now purchased a home in Sandy and will be moving into it in June. The remaining concern I have is my kids - how will the neighbor kids treat them? I know how mean kids can be - regardless of faith - and I don’t want my kids mistreated.

I’ll re-post later in the summer with an update.

In the meantime, I’d love to hear from any others sharing the experience of being Catholic in Mormon Country.

Regards to all,

obsigmatec

I was Mormon when I lived in Utah and I found it to be absolutely unbearable, but I was in Utah County. Salt Lake County is at least bearable. Your children may be shunned by the LDS children. Some LDS parents make the assumption that LDS children and parents are by default more righteous than others. The fact that they will be attending a Catholic school will mitigate shunning problems as most of their school friends will not be LDS. As a forewarning, LDS neighbors may see you and your children as a ripe conversion opportunity. You may receive invitations to events that are described as neighborhood events but are actually LDS ward events. Also, be careful that no one tries to teach your children or try to convert them behind your backs. It has been known to happen.

Last summer, my husband and I visited Utah for the first time since I left the LDS church. There were so many things we noticed like strange looks from a server at a restaurant when my husband ordered a beer. (My husband also had to put in his food order before they would put in his beer order. Very stupid rules.)

The good thing is that there are plenty of never Mormons and ex Mormons in the Salt Lake Valley. You may find that there are not very many LDS in your neighborhood. Last I heard, Salt Lake Valley is only 60% or so Mormon and not all of them are even active in their faith.