Catholics living together

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Many of my close family members and friends are Catholics that live with a boyfriend or girlfriend they are not married to. Is this common in all Catholic areas as I just do not see it amongst evangelicals? What can we do to encourage our teenagers to wait when this generation of parents never even entertained the idea?
 
I think parents need to be parents and tell their children what the Word of God requires. Fornication is a sin. Just because ‘everyone else is doing it’ is not an excuse. Children need to be told about what God expects of them. Marriage, not fornication, is the answer. It is a sign of maturity and commitment to make a promise to someone and keep it. I have already heard from a close friend how a coworker just left her live-in boyfriend, who she actually called her husband, one day.

If there is love between a man and a woman, there should be a commitment before God and man. The so-called Sexual Revolution of the 1960s convinced more and more people that this is OK. It’s not. As Christians, we are told “do not be conformed to this world” and “do not follow the crowd in doing evil.”

God bless,
Ed
 
I think that true Catholics, those who practice their Faith and live it are not the ones living in sin. I think the ones that are, at least those I know, are habitual Catholics. They go to Mass on Sundays or whenever they want, but nothing else. I just heard on one of Mother Angelica’s reruns a caller asking this same question about his sister who lives with her boyfriend. Mother just told him that all he could do at this time is pray for her. He had already told her that she needs to get married, and did not listen. With the way the world is today, if Catholics do not teach there children what is right and wrong before God, they will follow the world’s view. I know, unfortunately, this is the case with my entire family in Puerto Rico. Most of my cousins are all having babies with their lovers. It is sad. When I told my aunts that they should talk to their children for they are living in sin, their answer was that this is how the world is today. Sad, very sad.

True Catholics as true evangelical would not fornicate or commit adultery.
 
This is the problem: choosing God’s way or the world’s way. Sometimes, people see what the world offers as easier or better. When all their friends and coworkers do the same thing, it appears easier but it really just reinforces sinful behavior.

Yes, pray for them. Perhaps when their children grow up and ask where their mother or father is, they’ll see things differently, both the kids and their parents.

Lover in a lot of cases is just another word for fornication partner.

God bless,
Ed
 
The problem is that people do not want to obey rules they don’t understand. At the same time, they don’t want to understand because it clashes with their conceived views, or rather their wants, since views have nothing to do with this. People just don’t get why they shouldn’t always do just what they want.
 
As my wife would say these people shouldn’t call themselves catholics if they live this way.
 
It’s one of those awful situations-- we don’t kick up a fuss about stuff like this anymore. What is worse? A member of your family living in sin, or never talking to you again? A member of your family living in sin and coming to mass, or completely rejecting the faith and never coming near a Church again? I don’t know, but I know that there are no easy answers!
 
Evangelicals are the first to come up with statistics that show that rates of cohabitation, premarital sex, unwanted pregnancy are the same among evangelical Christians as in the surrounding culture.

I find it rare that “Catholic” cohabiting couples attend Mass regularly.

This isn’t a Catholic/Protestant thing. This is across the whole dreary culture.
 
The answer, in the Bible, is repent of your sin and ask for forgiveness. While logic and reason play a part in the solution, do not deny the power of God to change lives. Pray for those who sin that you know.

We are to live by faith in God, and knowing that prayer can and does change things. Patience, long suffering, these are two things the current culture does not encourage but the Bible does.

As Christians, we should encourage one another. And not despair, as God is our ally in all of our struggles. Focus on Him and give your troubles up to Him knowing that He will be faithful and will help. “In the fullness of time.”

God bless,
Ed
 
I think the most telling statistic is that people who live together have an even higher rate of divorce than those that don’t.

Tell a young person that, and they don’t care. They don’t care. Why? Because our culture has taught them that marriage is not permanent. If it doesn’t work out, ah, what the heck. Half their friends’ parents are divorced, their friends are either divorced or not married and living together.

The two things to stress to our children is that marriage is a sacrament and is permanent; and that the secret to a happy, successful marriage is the preparation and the picking of the right spouse.
 
PaulinVA said:
I think the most telling statistic is that people who live together have an even higher rate of divorce than those that don’t.

Tell a young person that, and they don’t care. They don’t care. Why? Because our culture has taught them that marriage is not permanent. If it doesn’t work out, ah, what the heck. Half their friends’ parents are divorced, their friends are either divorced or not married and living together.

The two things to stress to our children is that marriage is a sacrament and is permanent; and that the secret to a happy, successful marriage is the preparation and the picking of the right spouse.
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More recent statistics are showing that couples who intend to marry and then live together have the same divorce rate as people who never lived together . . . .
 
Mercygate:

From the May 24, 2007 edition of The Economist:

Many people will find this surprising. A survey of teenagers by the University of Michigan found that 64% of boys and 57% of girls agreed that “it is usually a good idea for a couple to live together before getting married in order to find out whether they really get along.” Research suggests otherwise. Two-thirds of American children born to co-habiting parents who later marry will see their parents split up by the time they are ten. Those born within wedlock face only half that risk.

True, this is couples who have kids. But, everything I’ve read says that living together before marriage decreases the relationship’s likelihood of success.
 
mercygate said:
Evangelicals are the first to come up with statistics that show that rates of cohabitation, premarital sex, unwanted pregnancy are the same among evangelical Christians as in the surrounding culture.

I find it rare that “Catholic” cohabiting couples attend Mass regularly.

This isn’t a Catholic/Protestant thing. This is across the whole dreary culture.
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Agree. From my experience and observation, most Evangelicals still think living together is something that should not be flaunted so they keep it on the QT.
 
PaulinVA said:
Mercygate:

From the May 24, 2007 edition of The Economist:

Many people will find this surprising. A survey of teenagers by the University of Michigan found that 64% of boys and 57% of girls agreed that “it is usually a good idea for a couple to live together before getting married in order to find out whether they really get along.” Research suggests otherwise. Two-thirds of American children born to co-habiting parents who later marry will see their parents split up by the time they are ten. Those born within wedlock face only half that risk.

True, this is couples who have kids. But, everything I’ve read says that living together before marriage decreases the relationship’s likelihood of success.
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I don’t doubt this report. But it is developing that more mature couples, who do not have children to complicate the relationship and possibly put pressure on the decision to marry, seem to be coming out better than the “let’s try it out” couples. Trying it on for size is still a problem.
 
We all sin and fall down every once in a while. The trick is having the grace and strength to get up.

But to choose to live together in sin just brings upon itself so many other problems and issues, I’m not sure why faithful folks fall into this trap - just because its popular. It is difficult in the current culture to teach young adults to wait and properly respect themselves and someone else’s son/daughter.

It’s a constant battle to speak about your expectations of moral behavior, your respect for purity and chastity, and your love of faith and the meaning of committment. Especially difficult when everything you see, read, hear on tv, radio, videos says otherwise and never shows the consequences of such an act.

May our young adults today have the wisdom, faith, encouragement and strength to get up when they fall down - even when the world says its okay not to. God Bless.
 
Living together doesn’t equal sin or fornication. Granted very few couples are chaste, but believe it or not there ARE actually Catholic young adults who do take their faith seriously. Sometimes life events make living apart impossible if someone has absolutely no where else to go. So unless you know for sure these people are being intimate or if all you know is they are sharing the same residence, none of you have the right to judge the condition of their spiritual life or journey. I know some of you who are high and mighty perfect people will say living together and not being in sin is not possible and would actually say it’d be better for one of them to live out on the street with no food, or way to continue to grow spiritually than to live with someone they are romantically interested in, but luckily God is the one who knows their hearts, minds, and true actions.
 
No need to suggest exceptions to the rule. The problem is ever since the Birth Control Pill was introduced in 1960 and Hippies and Radicals said it was OK to have sex with anyone in 1968, and abortion was legalized in 1973, the culture has been pushed in a “have sex no matter what” direction.

By the 1980s, No-Fault Divorce completed its sweep of the country. In the 1990s, the producers and writers of NYPD Blue decided they needed Profanity and Partial Nudity.

I won’t even go into the fact that a lot of people are using illegal drugs.

The devil is out to destroy the family. Commitment for life has become optional. Having kids out of wedlock “No big deal,” Divorce is no big deal, Abortion is no big deal, “Living together is no big deal.” See the pattern? Evil is good. What is right in God’s Word has been abandoned.

It is time for Catholics, married and single, to wake up and say, “I’m either a follower of Christ or I’m not.” The Bible tells us, “Be either hot or cold or I will vomit you out of my mouth.”

That’s the point. That’s the issue. Not, my boyfriend is starving and has nowhere to go. When Catholics are living exactly like non-Catholics, how can they call themselves Catholics?

God bless,
Ed
 
edwest2 said:
No need to suggest exceptions to the rule. The problem is ever since the Birth Control Pill was introduced in 1960 and Hippies and Radicals said it was OK to have sex with anyone in 1968, and abortion was legalized in 1973, the culture has been pushed in a “have sex no matter what” direction.
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The problem here is that you’re suggesting is blindly creating a rule without thinking about other factors. Is living in sin (fornication outside of wedlock) wrong? That question gets an EMPHATIC YES! from me. On the other hand, is turning the poor out on the street, taking food from the hungry, taking the clothes off the back of the poor, and all round oppression of the poor the ultimate goal of your rigid rule that has no exceptions?
By the 1980s, No-Fault Divorce completed its sweep of the country. In the 1990s, the producers and writers of NYPD Blue decided they needed Profanity and Partial Nudity.
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I won’t even go into the fact that a lot of people are using illegal drugs.
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You’re right, society has indeed changed, and not for the better. There are fewer ways to escape the grips of poverty and many more chances to fall into indigence. I’m not saying that you should even tolerate unwed couples living under the same roof, just look before you judge since (believe it or not) there ARE unwed couples living as brother and sister because of finances and the unwillingness of others to open their homes.
The devil is out to destroy the family. Commitment for life has become optional. Having kids out of wedlock “No big deal,” Divorce is no big deal, Abortion is no big deal, “Living together is no big deal.” See the pattern? Evil is good. What is right in God’s Word has been abandoned.
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I beg to differ. Satan is not JUST out to destroy the family, oh no, don’t ever get that notion. Satan is out to destroy the entirety of the human race, souls and all. Yes, the evil one works greatly against the family, but he also exerts his vile touch upon the entirety of society. One of the ways this is done is through sewing the seeds of greed throughout the nations. Satan also works by tricking some into refusing God and taking their own lives. When you open your door to the poor to care for them when they are ill with no regard for your own life even if some say your soul is in jeopardy, then you can weigh in your opinion on this matter of rules and the exceptions thereto.
It is time for Catholics, married and single, to wake up and say, “I’m either a follower of Christ or I’m not.” The Bible tells us, “Be either hot or cold or I will vomit you out of my mouth.”
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Amen! If doing my best to follow Christ (lest it be forgotten that following Christ includes aiding the destitute) places my soul between hot and cold, then call me Sir Luke of Warm.
That’s the point. That’s the issue. Not, my boyfriend is starving and has nowhere to go. When Catholics are living exactly like non-Catholics, how can they call themselves Catholics?
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Right! Catholics turn out the poor into the rain with no food or clothing all the time! Thats the ideal you’re advocating, isn’t it? Still, I wish to understand how God would view me for turning an individual suffering from an affliction of the mind out into the street to die when I could very well take care of her to the best of my ability.
God bless,
Ed
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No, it sounds to me like you’re advocating damnation without examination of the heart, not imploring the Lord to bless all. God alone knows the soul, and a darn good thing for those living in “exception to the rule” that you aren’t the Almighty Judge of hearts and souls.

As an aside, the post I quoted has very much upset the young woman I care for on a day to day basis. Stating that we are both damned to the bowels of hell for living under the same roof when she is NOT at all able to live on her own was not the most charitable of responses. I apologize if my retort offends.

And before I’m jumped on for not letting the professionals handle her…Yes, she’s been to the hospital and I drive her to partial hospitalization every morning of the week. She is not employable at the moment and the last of her money has gone to prescriptions that her doctor has already told her not to take any longer. I’m doing my best to care for the poor with unceasing patience and love, and yet I’m told by my fellow followers of Christ that by putting into practice the Lord’s exhortation to be a true neighbor (last Sunday’s Gospel comes to mind here) I’m jeopardizing my soul.
 
I think you are trying to divert attention from the actual topic. It’s not “Poor Catholics Who Need To Live Together.”

My ‘rigid rule’ is not a rule. It’s an observation from being surrounded by adults, young and old, who are able-bodied, employed and living and fornicating together. I know them. They are not trying to hide what they are doing. And they are Catholics or at least, raised Catholic. That is the topic.

God bless,
Ed
 
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