Catholics with Church-friends grow in faith better

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You have read my mind!! I have just moved to a new area, and have no friends or family around me! I’ve been to church in my new town, and everyone seems already aquainted, and as soon as mass is over everyone is gone, so how do you attempt to forge friendships!!? :confused:
 
CarloMagnus said:
So I was reading this document on Catholics with Catholic friends and it made me think. How does one make friends in a Catholic community? I mean, there’s the liturgy and then that’s it.

So do we go from the Church to the Bar to find friends or what?
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  • For college age students, there’s Newman Centers peppered around university campuses.
  • For high school and younger, there’s parish youth groups (and the child’s parents).
  • For those out of college or not in college, parishes have groups/activities to be involved with the parish, so it’s possible to meet people there.
The Newman Center at my university did wonders for me.
 
Read your Bulletin!

Currently, at my church, here are ways that you can meet and great:
  1. Coffee and donuts after Mass
  2. Sign up to volunteer to help with Night at the Races event
  3. Attend Night at the Races event
  4. Retreats for Outreach ministries
  5. Volunteer for after-school tutoring
  6. Attend or Volunteer for Community meals
I’ll stop there. LOL… Definitely read your Bulletin and see what events are going on, there usually is something that you can partake in and meet new people.
 
Zoey is correct. Follow her list. You’ll have too much to do but lots of folks to help.

And to be honest, I am never even aware of anyone else in the pew with me.
 
If you want to make Catholic freinds,their is a Catholic site ,for young people to talk and meet them, a bar is not a place. to meet Catholice friends. I wish you all the luck,and my GOD<and Jesus guide you. Amen
 
ZoeyBdo said:
Read your Bulletin!

Currently, at my church, here are ways that you can meet and great:
  1. Coffee and donuts after Mass
  2. Sign up to volunteer to help with Night at the Races event
  3. Attend Night at the Races event
  4. Retreats for Outreach ministries
  5. Volunteer for after-school tutoring
  6. Attend or Volunteer for Community meals
I’ll stop there. LOL… Definitely read your Bulletin and see what events are going on, there usually is something that you can partake in and meet new people.
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Good list.

I met my wife when I was volunteering at a Catholic ministry event at a university. I’ve met several friends volunteering at my local youth group.

Take a look at what’s out there and get involved!
 
I’ve wondered the same thing before.
The only Catholic my age I speak to outside of Mass doesn’t even live in America, and I speak with her to improve my Spanish and she doesn’t speak english so I can’t really have a real in depth conversation with her haha.
SC is insanely protestant, my church is the only Catholic church in my town, there is no youth group, and the only other teens at the church(I guess there’s about 5-7, depending on whether or not they show up) either don’t take their faith seriously,(a lot of them stopped coming after Confirmation) or I would try to talk to them but they didn’t seem like they liked me or something, so I just gave up.
This is one reason I really want to go to a Catholic university…I’m never gong to find a devout Catholic girl here!
 
You might talk to your priest about the posibility of attending additional adult education/formation classes. We have lectures an hour before mass oftentimes and they are very well attended. Then there’s the monthly potluck…
My daughter’s godparents relocated 4 times over the years and each time the first thing they did after moving in was look for ways to help at their new church. The dad ushered and joined the K. C (if there was a branch) and the mom looked for Saint Martha’s guilds to join. They assured me that that is the way to get comfortable inyour new community. The best of luck in finding good groups and study opportunities. It can also be helpful to be open to making friends who are outside of your own age group. Offer to drive a senior or two to mass. The world is full of undiscovered friends!
 
AGREED 10000000%
i dread leaving my post-mass gatherings on Sunday because it means i have to return to boring old me and the godless society we live in.
 
Yeah, none of this is helpful at all. I’ve tried all of these. Catholics go to Church then home. There’s just no way people get grow closer as a community like this. Especially a very closed off community like mine.

You say that a bar isn’t the place to find friends? Looks to me like neither is a church.

-Karl
 
Start a group at your parish! Make announcements or have it posted in the bulletin! Be pro-active!
 
CarloMagnus said:
Yeah, none of this is helpful at all. I’ve tried all of these. Catholics go to Church then home. There’s just no way people get grow closer as a community like this. Especially a very closed off community like mine.

You say that a bar isn’t the place to find friends? Looks to me like neither is a church.

-Karl
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Perhaps I need to go into further details.

After years of literally having zero friends, being the most hated boy in school, and all sorts of other things like this, I came back to the Church due to an experience at a conference in Steubinville during Eucharistic Adoration. Myself and 13 others (all from a town of about 4500 or so, and neighboring villages) came back to the Church at the same time. Another five people had reversion experiences while on missionary trips, bringing things up to 20 or so. We started a Youth Group, and things were going pretty good. Our parish then decided to start 24/6 Adoration (none on Sundays)…it exploded up to 40+ people. In a population size like ours, that’s incredible. We became tight friends, we became a community. Over the last several years several of them got arried, started families. Several years later, it’s still going strong. It’ was incredibly hard to leave that behind, but I did.

I moved across the province into the big city. A huge adjustment for a smalltown hillbilly. It took three years, but I finally settled down and started volunteering at a youth group in one of the parishes. During this time, circumstances arose that resulted in me being homeless. I spent nights going from friend’s place to friend’s place, with some nights sleeping in bus shelters. Eventually, during the freezing cold of the Canadian winter, I asked one of the other volunteers if I could stay at his place during Christmas. He already lived with five other guys in that house, so he asked them. One of them was the youth coordinator at the parish we volunteered at. They all agreed, so I stayed there for a week and half…

Until one fateful day, my friend (the one who I asked first) said “we talked it over, take as long as you need to get back on your feet”. So I stayed for a couple months, found a job, and officially moved in. We all became close friends, even after some of the guys got married and moved out. That one fellow, the first guy I talked to? Best man at my wedding. I was a groomsman at his (his Twin beat me out for the Best Man spot). Another guy who lived with us was a groomsman at BOTH our weddings, and will be ordained in the next two years.

Oh yeah, I’m married. I met my wife at a university Catholic event. My best man? Met his wife VOLUNTEERING AT THE SAME PLACE WE ALL DID. The fellow being ordained soon (Diocesan Priesthood, if you’re wondering)? He’s the godfather of my son.

So that’s that. Nine years I’ve been there now. Ministry is a great place to meet friends and make a difference. I’ve forged so many friendships, and have seen so many folks meet their spouses.
 
TeenageConvert said:
I’ve wondered the same thing before.
The only Catholic my age I speak to outside of Mass doesn’t even live in America, and I speak with her to improve my Spanish and she doesn’t speak english so I can’t really have a real in depth conversation with her haha.
SC is insanely protestant, my church is the only Catholic church in my town, there is no youth group, and the only other teens at the church(I guess there’s about 5-7, depending on whether or not they show up) either don’t take their faith seriously,(a lot of them stopped coming after Confirmation) or I would try to talk to them but they didn’t seem like they liked me or something, so I just gave up.
This is one reason I really want to go to a Catholic university…I’m never gong to find a devout Catholic girl here!
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I hope the Catholic university works out for you to meet a devout Catholic girl.

My daughter went to a Catholic university, and for the first three years, had a terrible time finding Catholics who were really serious about their faith. She was a physical therapy major, BTW, so her classmates were serious students. But when it came to their Catholicism, many of them had the attitude of, “Yippee! I’m free from Mom and Dad and I don’t have to go to church anymore! I can drink as much as I can possibly hold!” The first weekend of school, 15 parties were busted by police for under-aged drinking.

She was especially disgusted with the boys at the school. Many of them lived to get drunk. Not all, but many. (She already had a boyfriend, who eventually moved away from his parents to her college town after he finished his college, and he got a job there, and lived in an apartment that she did NOT co-habit with him, and they eventually got married. :))

Also keep in mind that many of the students at Catholic universities are not Catholic. They go to that school for the academics and because they have a good program. This is especially true of the various science and health careers. My daughter isn’t Catholic. She doesn’t attend any church (there was an abusive situation in our Protestant church while she was growing up, and she was so hurt by it that she still doesn’t trust “church”).

She DID meet many professors who were strong Catholics, and these were the professors that she loved the most because they exemplified the Jesuit way of life. She couldn’t stand the liberal professors who tore Catholicism apart in their lectures.

Everything turned out OK, though. In her Senior year, she finally met several girls who were completely serious about their Catholic faith, and these girls became her roommates. They all moved into an apartment together and had a fantastic year. My daughter has been in all of their weddings, and they were involved with her wedding, and they are all still close friends and see each other often.

So be prepared to look hard to find that devout Catholic girl! OTOH, many devout Catholic girls will be looking for YOU because they hope to find a husband and earn their Mrs. degree at college!
 
CarloMagnus said:
osv.com/tabid/7621/itemid/9184/Are-you-lonely-in-your-parish-A-new-study-offers.aspx

So I was reading this document on Catholics with Catholic friends and it made me think. How does one make friends in a Catholic community? I mean, there’s the liturgy and then that’s it.

So do we go from the Church to the Bar to find friends or what?

Anyone else feel that being alone in a pew is somewhat depressing?

Comment.
-Karl
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I agree that it’s hard to find friends in a Catholic parish.

But I think we have to put ourselves out a little, and make a decided effort to step outside of our comfort zones and reach out to others.

Many of the people in this thread have described a list of activities offered outside of Mass by their parish. Our parish is that way, and I’m guessing that your parish has social opportunities.

Since this is the traditional section of CAF, I think it’s worth mentioning what I know of the Traditional Latin Mass parish in our city. They are very active socially, and the people there are friends. They do a lot of dinners and get-togethers, and they also have a Bible study with their pastor–he’s very well-educated and the study is pretty deep and serious, not fluffy or a waste of time. They also have their choir, which is lots of fun and provides a great opportunity for friendships to form. Interestingly, even though I am not interested in the Latin Mass, my closest Catholic friends are from that parish! 🙂

My personal feeling is that a bar is not the place to make Catholic friends, although I’m sure that it could happen. But wouldn’t it be better to attend your parish Bible study, or get involved in a Christian service project through your parish, and meet others who are serious about their Catholic faith and are seeking ways to grow closer to Jesus rather than closer to Budweiser?

I’m going to assume from your name that you are a man. The men of our parish have apparently done an early morning Bible study on Tuesdays for many years. They meet really early in the morning for prayers and Bible study, and then those who are able go out to breakfast. I believe they also go to Mass, but I’m not sure which morning Mass they attend. My husband doesn’t attend this study, but as a woman, I’m very grateful that this study exists, because I’m sure that many prayers are sent up by those men, and I think our entire parish and diocese and even the world are influenced by those faith-filled men who rise early to meet God and each other.

This men’s study is never advertised in the bulletin. The men just kind of find out about it. So you might want to ask around to see if anything like this is going on in your parish for men. Or maybe…start one?!
 
I find I have the same problem as the OP. I converted 3 years ago and I would love to meet some Catholic friends - but unlike some posters, we don’t have activities in our parish. Actually, that’s not true. There is dinner at the pub once a month. Unfortunately it is always 3 days before payday. They are talking of starting a bible study, so hopefully something comes of that.

I’ve been tempted to move across the city because I know of one parish that offers activities - even then it is only once a month but it doesn’t require me to have cash handy.

I have considered volunteering, but my social phobia really plays up at the thought of that.
 
CarloMagnus said:
Yeah, none of this is helpful at all. I’ve tried all of these. Catholics go to Church then home. There’s just no way people get grow closer as a community like this. Especially a very closed off community like mine.

You say that a bar isn’t the place to find friends? Looks to me like neither is a church.

-Karl
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I’m amazed to hear that your church doesn’t have ANY of the following:
CCD classes
RCIA classes
Knight of Columbus
Legion of Mary
May Day crowning
receptions after first holy communion, confirmation
adoration groups
rosary groups

And that your diocese doesn’t have
youth ministry
young adult events
singles events
Bible study/ other education
catherdral guilds

So every single thing that happens in your parish is thought up, organized, and carried out by the priest himself because the laity all just go to Mass and then go home?

You make friends at church the same way you make friends anywhere else. By being friendly, smiling and saying hello, pitching in to help, and looking beyond a specific age group, income bracket, or language group to find people with common interests.
 
Mrs_Sally said:
I’m amazed to hear that your church doesn’t have ANY of the following:
CCD classes I’m waiting to find a Traditional Latin priest who will take care of this, rather than a NO priest.
RCIA classes Oh yes, I’m definitely going to take that all over again.
Knight of Columbus Meeting hours are too spontaneous. They move around a lot.
Legion of Mary Unavailable
May Day crowning Unavailable
receptions after first holy communion, confirmation
adoration groups Uninterested
rosary groups Same as KoC

And that your diocese doesn’t have
youth ministry Unavailable
young adult events Unavailable
singles events Unavailable
Bible study/ other education Spontaneous groups of selected peoples; and I’ve never felt welcome in places I already know things of; I find it even less appealing having to learn what other people teach regarding Church teaching when I could just pick up a Catechism of the Catholic Church rather than risk human error
catherdral guilds Unavailable

So every single thing that happens in your parish is thought up, organized, and carried out by the priest himself because the laity all just go to Mass and then go home? What laity? The altar-“servers”? The deacon? I don’t see many of them there, except during mass

You make friends at church the same way you make friends anywhere else. By being friendly, smiling and saying hello, pitching in to help, and looking beyond a specific age group, income bracket, or language group to find people with common interests.
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I’m usually the victim of plenty of prejudice and discrimination. The country I’m living in has a cultural hatred for anything male and white with blue eyes. Excuse me for not having confidence in people in the Church; at least where I live. Being “friendly, smiling and saying hello” obviously doesn’t work in my case.

-Karl
 
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