Caved after 7 months!

[scc11]

So I struggled with masturbation before and I went 7 months without doing it. But… I ruined that long timeframe today I am disgusted with myself. I wasnt looking to do it either. I was on the Cosmopolitan website(magazine) looking at beauty secrets and as some of you may know, they have risque stuff on there. Guess my curiosity got the best of me and well…I caved. I feel terrible and I feel like a failure. Any advice on how to get rid of sexual thoughts/desires totally? I know some say the rosary but in your opinions has it worked for you? I am so angry with myself.

 

[losh14]

Impressive feat to go without for 7 months. A little unclear on why looking for beauty tips on Cosmo caused you to fall but fall you did.

Confess the failure - to the Lord directly and to a Confessor
Forgive yourself the failure - the Lord has!
Pray daily and constantly
Avoid occasions of sin

 

[JD27076]

In the Christian light.

One shouldn’t worry about the fall because of sin.
One should be joyful and hopeful to look for the rising of the sinner to the Grace of God!

Why be down in the slumps because you committed a mortal sin? Feel sad for 1 minute TOPS, then look forward to the joy of God in his sacramental absolution!

Say and Act of Contrition and promise to make it to confession. You will feel much happier and joyful. God forgives contrite sinners even before you make it to confession. (As long as you plan on going to confession)

7 Months? WOW! … Great!

Keep Praying and asking for intercessions by our Blessed Mother and all the Saints who glorify God!

 

[Carina20]

Seven months is still an accomplishment. I’ve never made it that far with anything! It hurts to have gotten so far and have to start back at the beginning, but now you know how to identify triggers, right? Also, sometimes we think that because we’ve come a long way and resisted temptation for so long that we’re immune, but we’re not. We have pick ourselves up and resist temptation at every turn.

 

[MtGargano]

So I struggled with masturbation before and I went 7 months without doing it. But… I ruined that long timeframe today I am disgusted with myself. I wasnt looking to do it either. I was on the Cosmopolitan website(magazine) looking at beauty secrets and as some of you may know, they have risque stuff on there. Guess my curiosity got the best of me and well…I caved. I feel terrible and I feel like a failure. Any advice on how to get rid of sexual thoughts/desires totally? I know some say the rosary but in your opinions has it worked for you? I am so angry with myself.

Ive been exactly where you have…

since going to daily mass, daily rosary, and daily chaplet of divine mercy, its been 5yrs plus for me…now when i see “risque stuff” whether in a magazine or television, it disgusts me…the rosary REALLY works…if you pray it, and meditate the mysteries, self gratification should become the last thing on your mind…and the “desire” not to offend God will be first…

imho, we will never get rid of sexual thoughts/desires, it is the effect of original sin, and our human nature…its how we deal with them that we can work on…keep in mind the desire to sin is not your fault.

7mos is pretty big, 1 step back is no big deal, confession and then back forward you go…

good luck, and God Bless…

 

[RedDuke50]

As others have said, going 7 months without is a good amount of time. We will always have to fight the temptations of sin. But God can strengthen us against them. Try to not beat yourself up, but look at God with a contrite and hopeful heart.

The Holy Rosary is a very powerful weapon, it has helped me in many ways. The Chaplet of the Divine Mercy has also helped me. Whenever you are tempted to sin, just call upon your Mother and Jesus. They will help you.

 

[Kontrak]

I know some say the rosary but in your opinions has it worked for you? I am so angry with myself.

I know how you feel and Yes. I and many others have had similar experiences with the rosary. Don’t doubt. Have faith. Pray it every day. Also, try to get yourself enrolled in the brown scapular if you aren’t already.

Don’t be discouraged of God’s mercy if you so happen to fall again because it might cause you to not be able to forgive yourself and then you will stop praying and the cycle will continue. It’s a trap.

Don’t think for a second you can do this through your own will and without prayer. In all humility put God in charge.

rosary-center.org/howto.htm

FIFTEEN PROMISES OF THE BLESSED VIRGIN
TO CHRISTIANS WHO FAITHFULLY PRAY THE ROSARY

To all those who shall pray my Rosary devoutly, I promise my special protection and great graces.

Those who shall persevere in the recitation of my Rosary will receive some special grace.

The Rosary will be a very powerful armor against hell; it will destroy vice, deliver from sin and dispel heresy.

The rosary will make virtue and good works flourish, and will obtain for souls the most abundant divine mercies. It will draw the hearts of men from the love of the world and its vanities, and will lift them to the desire of eternal things. Oh, that souls would sanctify themselves by this means.

Those who trust themselves to me through the Rosary will not perish.

Whoever recites my Rosary devoutly reflecting on the mysteries, shall never be overwhelmed by misfortune. He will not experience the anger of God nor will he perish by an unprovided death. The sinner will be converted; the just will persevere in grace and merit eternal life.

Those truly devoted to my Rosary shall not die without the sacraments of the Church.

Those who are faithful to recite my Rosary shall have during their life and at their death the light of God and the plenitude of His graces and will share in the merits of the blessed.

I will deliver promptly from purgatory souls devoted to my Rosary.

True children of my Rosary will enjoy great glory in heaven.

What you shall ask through my Rosary you shall obtain.

To those who propagate my Rosary I promise aid in all their necessities.

I have obtained from my Son that all the members of the Rosary Confraternity shall have as their intercessors, in life and in death, the entire celestial court.

Those who recite my Rosary faithfully are my beloved children, the brothers and sisters of Jesus Christ.

Devotion to my Rosary is a special sign of predestination.

I found this link to be very encouraging. A similar thing happened to me. I hope it’s encouraging to you. :

madharasan.wordpress.com/2010…brian-pessaro/

 

[TheDoors]

Confession on a regular schedule will help overcome all sorts of sins. It sounds like you’re on the right track. Stand up, dust yourself off, get thee to confession, and try again!

 

[JRKH]

So I struggled with masturbation before and I went 7 months without doing it

Congratulations…Well done…:clapping:

But… I ruined that long timeframe today

Poppycock - you ruined nothing…Do you think that a person who is on a diet “ruins the long time frame” by eating one twinky??
Step back, repent, say an act of contrition - and recommit.

I am disgusted with myself. I wasn’t looking to do it either. I was on the Cosmopolitan website(magazine) looking at beauty secrets and as some of you may know, they have risque stuff on there. Guess my curiosity got the best of me and well…I caved. I feel terrible and I feel like a failure.

Not a failure…you are doing just fine…
I do know how you feel though…But you know - this feeling of abject failure is really an indication of the “pride” you were taking in your feat…your resistance…Now you know that you were a little too proud…and this is a very good lesson as it will help you to rely more on God moving forward.

Any advice on how to get rid of sexual thoughts/desires totally?

NO - (and I’m 57 years old)

I know some say the rosary but in your opinions has it worked for you? I am so angry with myself.
I cannot offer a great deal of advice except that which helped me.

I developed a “visual prayer”…After all, if we can “visualize” toward lust - why not “visualize” away from it…
So I prayed, “Father, take me to the foot of the cross”, and then began thinking, visualizing myself there. Gazing on the scene of teh one who died for my sins.
Hot, dry, dusty day.
The foot of the cross buried in the ground.
The wood of the cross stained black from blood and sweat.
The feet of our Lord.
Filthy and stained and dripping blood and sweat.
I did this - I put Him there - Not alone - but I helped.
Every time I sin, it is increases His pain.
If I refrain, it eases His pain.
Feel the heat of that day, the dryness of the air.
How thirsty He is…
…and so on…

How could I possibly sin while standing at the foot of the cross.

Peace
James

 

[Deo_Volente]

Grace & Peace!

I stumbled onto this thread because I just saw the topic…and thought it referred to a literal cave-in somewhere and started wondering, “what this could possibly be about?” I can be quite dense, though many of you may already know that.

I’m glad I did stumble in, though–principally because JRKH’s advice was so human, so compassionate and so wise. Not to give JRKH a swollen head or anything, but his response really does provide an excellent model of pastoral care and advice to someone on the overcoming of sin, regardless of the sin and regardless of whether or not JRKH has formal pastoral training.

It’s so easy to get bogged down in the consciousness that things aren’t what they should be whether within ourselves or around us, that we or others too easily stray from the path, that darkness is all about us in one way or another–and it’s easy to complain, to get lost in ourselves, to lose ourselves in our shame, to become weary either with the world or ourselves. But when we can recognize a sliver of grace, regardless of how small, even if it’s in the form of a post on an internet forum, I think it behooves us to draw attention to it, praise God for it, and ask God that we may recognize such slivers of light and grace more often and model that grace for others.

JRKH–I praise God for you and for God’s grace at work in you.

Under the Mercy,
Mark

All is Grace and Mercy! Deo Gratias!

 

[fastenatingguy]

**James,

I have seen you post this often. Just want to let you know that it has been helpful to me, and likely many others. Thank you.

FG

7 Months,

See how much support you get from this forum? That’s God smiling upon you and us. I am hopeful that he is pleased by your successes and efforts, and is ready to forgive you for your shortcomings.

Ditto on what everyone else has said.

FG**

I cannot offer a great deal of advice except that which helped me.

I developed a “visual prayer”…After all, if we can “visualize” toward lust - why not “visualize” away from it…
So I prayed, “Father, take me to the foot of the cross”, and then began thinking, visualizing myself there. Gazing on the scene of teh one who died for my sins.
Hot, dry, dusty day.
The foot of the cross buried in the ground.
The wood of the cross stained black from blood and sweat.
The feet of our Lord.
Filthy and stained and dripping blood and sweat.
I did this - I put Him there - Not alone - but I helped.
Every time I sin, it is increases His pain.
If I refrain, it eases His pain.
Feel the heat of that day, the dryness of the air.
How thirsty He is…
…and so on…

How could I possibly sin while standing at the foot of the cross?

 

[Kenny_Kamel]

1. Go to confession ASAP, call a priest if you cannot find scheduled confession sessions.
2. Before going into confession read the following:

“What I do, I do not understand. For I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I concur that the law is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. For I know that good does not dwell in me, that is, in my flesh. The willing is ready at hand, but doing the good is not. For I do not do the good I want, but I do the evil I do not want. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. So, then, I discover the principle that when I want to do right, evil is at hand. For I take delight in the law of God, in my inner self, but I see in my members another principle at war with the law of my mind, taking me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Miserable one that I am! Who will deliver me from this mortal body? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord. Therefore, I myself, with my mind, serve the law of God but, with my flesh, the law of sin.”

• Letter of Saint Paul to the Romans, Chapter 7, Verses 15-25

1. Forgive yourself just as the Lord would forgive you, if you beat yourself up over this you’re essentially going against the Graces and Mercy the Lord would intend to flood your heart with.
2. Realize that we’ll all fail as we’re all broken by sin, it happens but that is not an excuse to allow sin to occur but rather an invitation to figure out ways to not be lead into temptation and potentially find yourself in sin. I’m had a discussion with a friend of mine this morning about removing causes of temptation in our lives, for me I need to limit my internet time or else I will usually find myself looking into inappropriate things. For you perhaps its someting else, but my best advice is when you’re heavily tempted simply pray just as Jesus did in his Agony (how about praying the Rosary of the Sorrow Mysteries?).

 

[Dorothy]

Be at peace! The Lord wants to forgive you and strengthen you.

Cosmo puts forth encouragement for immorality. It is best to not go to their site.

Meditate on the Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ.

 

[JRKH]

Grace & Peace!

I stumbled onto this thread because I just saw the topic…and thought it referred to a literal cave-in somewhere and started wondering, “what this could possibly be about?” I can be quite dense, though many of you may already know that.

I’m glad I did stumble in, though–principally because JRKH’s advice was so human, so compassionate and so wise. Not to give JRKH a swollen head or anything, but his response really does provide an excellent model of pastoral care and advice to someone on the overcoming of sin, regardless of the sin and regardless of whether or not JRKH has formal pastoral training.

It’s so easy to get bogged down in the consciousness that things aren’t what they should be whether within ourselves or around us, that we or others too easily stray from the path, that darkness is all about us in one way or another–and it’s easy to complain, to get lost in ourselves, to lose ourselves in our shame, to become weary either with the world or ourselves. But when we can recognize a sliver of grace, regardless of how small, even if it’s in the form of a post on an internet forum, I think it behooves us to draw attention to it, praise God for it, and ask God that we may recognize such slivers of light and grace more often and model that grace for others.

JRKH–I praise God for you and for God’s grace at work in you.

Under the Mercy,
Mark

All is Grace and Mercy! Deo Gratias!

Wow how could I NOT get a swollen head after that…
fortunately I know that the Holy Spirit is standing by with pin to “bust my bubble” and keep me humble…I know because he does it regularly…

**James,

I have seen you post this often. Just want to let you know that it has been helpful to me, and likely many** others. Thank you.

FG

Thank you… I have had so much positive feedback on it that I put it in a Word document to copy whenever someone asks for help.
So - I guess you’ll see it some more…As long as it seems to be helpful.

To the OP, I just want to say again that we are glad you are here and hope that our collective ideas and contributions are of real help and encouragement to you.

Peace
James

 

[blakjak12]

Great work on 7 months! Try not to be too discouraged and also try to avoid situations and material that are “risqué” and might make resisting the temptation more difficult.

 

[Ender]

So I struggled with masturbation before and I went 7 months without doing it. But… I ruined that long timeframe today I am disgusted with myself.

Many years ago I read a book by one of the long time POW’s in Vietnam. In it he talked about their duty to resist the enemy and not give up information that could be of value to them. He also said that, at one time or another, they all failed. Like you they were ashamed. What they understood, however, was the need to try again each time to withstand the torture as best they could; they took the attitude that failure was understandable but not acceptable. The willingness to fight every time, whether they were successful or not, was what sustained them and allowed them to maintain their sense of self respect.
*
When Hell Was in Session* - Cmdr. Jeremiah Denton

Ender

 

[CopticChristian]

So I struggled with masturbation before and I went 7 months without doing it. But… I ruined that long timeframe today I am disgusted with myself. I wasnt looking to do it either. I was on the Cosmopolitan website(magazine) looking at beauty secrets and as some of you may know, they have risque stuff on there. Guess my curiosity got the best of me and well…I caved. I feel terrible and I feel like a failure. Any advice on how to get rid of sexual thoughts/desires totally? I know some say the rosary but in your opinions has it worked for you? I am so angry with myself.

SCC,

You may want to examine your values…according to Dr. Stanton Peele…values, ie what you value or don’t value dictates your behavior. If you translate that to virtue as a Catholic then you may want to examine the virtues and realize that they don’t just poof appear…they require your effort…

So, where are you putting your effort? That is the question only you can answer.

 

[Catholic80]

So I struggled with masturbation before and I went 7 months without doing it. But… I ruined that long timeframe today I am disgusted with myself. I wasnt looking to do it either. I was on the Cosmopolitan website(magazine) looking at beauty secrets and as some of you may know, they have risque stuff on there. Guess my curiosity got the best of me and well…I caved. I feel terrible and I feel like a failure. Any advice on how to get rid of sexual thoughts/desires totally? I know some say the rosary but in your opinions has it worked for you? I am so angry with myself.

Don’t let this fall make you stop trying to stop!

God allowed this fall for a reason… He would only allow it for a greater good.

If it’s any help or encouragement to you, I too, struggled for years with an addiction to masturbating. I one time had stopped for almost an entire year, and then caved again. I fell back into the habit compulsively for the next 4 months. I felt like, I had sinned, so I might as well continue to sin because there was no way out. (This actually happened twice… stopping for a long time, and then starting up again, but it’s a really long story)

However, through the grace of Mary, it has been over 5 years since I have stopped altogether. (This came after 22 year of addiction - 13 of those years was trying to stop [after I found out it was a sin]) So it IS possible!!!
Christ is with you in your struggle every step of the way. He understands our weakness and He loves us in our weakness. Give it all to God.

Don’t despair, either, if you keep having temptations. Temptations don’t go away overnight either, and even thought I have stopped, I still am tempted in various ways. What helps me is getting distracted on something else. Everyone is different. For some people, praying the rosary right then and there helps. This helps me sometimes, but sometimes, it makes it harder for me because I dwell on the sin more then. If I say a quick prayer, and then distract myself by an activity, and then, when the temptation has subsided, taking it up again in prayer at a later and more “safe” time, I find this works better.

 

[Equites_Christi]

My greatest piece of advice from experience: Do NOT think “well now it’s back to square one”

You’re not back to square one, you are gaining momentum in your flight from hell! Don’t let a little stumble make you stop, RUN!!!

Many have made it and many are still running. We’re all in it together brother!

 

[scc11]

Thank you all for your kind words. JRKH…you opened my eyes to a new way of looking at the situation. I was too proud and that got the best of me. This is a reminder to myself that like Our Lord, I need to be more humble. Thank you
As for the brown scapular I was looking into it online and I think I will pursue it but my question is, should I wait a while? I was looking through my First Communion things and low and behold I had a brown scapular with my first communion rosary! I know in order to be invested in the brown scapular, it has to be blessed my priest or deacon. I am very close with a deacon ay my parish and he would have no problem doing it but I think I should wait a while and pray, settle my mind and thoughts and then invest. First thing first is I need to get to confession which I plan on doing today (hopefully the lines arent long). My brown scapular is attached to another scapular of St Simon Stock. Is this ok?
Thoughts please