Celebrating Christmas alone - ideas?

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Hi everyone. So, me and my sibling live at home, we are both in our 20’s and are studying. Our parents divorced when we were kids. It’s always been that we celebrate Christmas Eve at our dad’s ans Christmas Day at our mom’s. Then New Year was usually at mom’s. This year however, me and my sibling will celebrate alone. Mom recently met a new boyfriend and says she wants to celebrate Christmas alone with him. My dad is visiting my older sister during Christmas who lives abroad. So, we will have to celebrate it alone which feels kind of wierd. Any ideas on how to make it feel less lonely? Maybe some activities to feel more at peace with Christmas being celebrated like that? My sibling is not religious at all.
 
therose01 said:
Hi everyone. So, me and my sibling live at home, we are both in our 20’s and are studying. Our parents divorced when we were kids. It’s always been that we celebrate Christmas Eve at our dad’s ans Christmas Day at our mom’s. Then New Year was usually at mom’s. This year however, me and my sibling will celebrate alone. Mom recently met a new boyfriend and says she wants to celebrate Christmas alone with him. My dad is visiting my older sister during Christmas who lives abroad. So, we will have to celebrate it alone which feels kind of wierd. Any ideas on how to make it feel less lonely? Maybe some activities to feel more at peace with Christmas being celebrated like that? My sibling is not religious at all.
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I have been in this situation and chose to volunteer with the Salvation Army. There is surely a soup kitchen or something nearby where you can do the same? Then go out for Chinese 🙂
 
You are free to gather up the things you liked the best about the Christmas season and leave alone the things that you didn’t happen to care for, so make a list and make some decisions. Maybe you want to watch “Charlie Brown Christmas” and your favorite version of a “Christmas Carol.” Maybe you want to get some red napkins. If you liked having presents to open, then go to the trouble of getting each other a gift and actually wrapping it! It is not expensive to get a little tree, if that is part of your season, and you can find a crèche in every size imaginable, from a miniature of a few inches. The chances are that you can borrow some Christmas decorations with some sentimental value from your parents, since they won’t be using it all.

Decide what is your favorite Mass time, but go to Mass for Christmas, too! Even people who are “not religious” find that getting out and giving recognition to the “reason for the season” is necessary to make the day feel like Itself.

*If your mom is decorating her home with the family Christmas stuff and called you to tell you that you’re persona non grata for the entire 30 hours or so that count as Christmas, call her back and tell her to try again!! (Even from a cold-blooded point of view, that is not the way you treat the people who will be making your decisions for you when you become too old to do it for yourself.)
 
Go to midnight Mass together and then drive/walk around to see the Christmas lights.

Invite others over Christmas Day who can’t be with family for dinner. You can make it potluck so all the onus isn’t on you to provide everything.

Check with your local parish to see if you could volunteer to help with their outreach program–their Jesse Tree, etc., or visit a nursing home, help out at a food bank, toy distribution for the poor, etc.

Make it about worship and service, as well as fun, and it’ll be more fulfilling for you. 🙂
 
Great ideas everyone. Volunteering is probably what I will do. Midnight mass is something I’d love to go to but it won’t be safe for me to go from there home by myself so late. I should have specified: I turned 20 a month ago, and my sibling is not just not religious, my sibling is very atheist and frankly quite anti-religion so the possibility of my sibling saying yes to joining me at Midnight mass is zero.
 
EasterJoy said:
You are free to gather up the things you liked the best about the Christmas season and leave alone the things that you didn’t happen to care for, so make a list and make some decisions. Maybe you want to watch “Charlie Brown Christmas” and your favorite version of a “Christmas Carol.” Maybe you want to get some red napkins. If you liked having presents to open, then go to the trouble of getting each other a gift and actually wrapping it! It is not expensive to get a little tree, if that is part of your season, and you can find a crèche in every size imaginable, from a miniature of a few inches. The chances are that you can borrow some Christmas decorations with some sentimental value from your parents, since they won’t be using it all.

Decide what is your favorite Mass time, but go to Mass for Christmas, too! Even people who are “not religious” find that getting out and giving recognition to the “reason for the season” is necessary to make the day feel like Itself.

*If your mom is decorating her home with the family Christmas stuff and called you to tell you that you’re persona non grata for the entire 30 hours or so that count as Christmas, call her back and tell her to try again!! (Even from a cold-blooded point of view, that is not the way you treat the people who will be making your decisions for you when you become too old to do it for yourself.)
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Thanks for the suggestions. I don’t know exactly how she’ll do it but I guess it’s either A) at our house and we need to go out or B) at his house and we have to stay. A bit of a surprise but she says she wants her own life and that we are grownups now.
 
Rose, in our city (which isn’t that big…despite the fact that it’s convinced it is :rolleyes:), there are many places that offer community Christmas meals. I’m sure there are some in your area as well. Why not go to one of them?

Maybe even go visit a nursing home or two and bring something festive with you to give as little gifts to the residents (if you have the money to do so). Many of them are now completely alone with no real family left. It will cheer them up. 🙂 You will probably get the bigger gift though, and it would please Our Lord that you did something like that on His Nativity rather than sit at home feeling sorry for your circumstances.

Or go to a soup kitchen or homeless shelter and volunteer your time in the kitchen preparing or serving that day.

👍
 
therose01:

At first I thought you were literally going to be completely alone, and I thought, well, you have always have Jesus with you, so you’re never alone. Then I realize you do have your sister, too, although she’s not on the same wavelength as you. Do what you can to make it fun and memorable - - create memories together! Get outside if you can on Christmas day, enjoy whatever winter weather you might have in your location.

Too bad your mom is being kind of a jerk. 😦
 
I know what I’d do. I volunteer at the local family homeless shelter or the children’s hospital and I’d attend midnight Mass at the Cathedral.
 
therose01 said:
Great ideas everyone. Volunteering is probably what I will do. Midnight mass is something I’d love to go to but it won’t be safe for me to go from there home by myself so late. I should have specified: I turned 20 a month ago, and my sibling is not just not religious, my sibling is very atheist and frankly quite anti-religion so the possibility of my sibling saying yes to joining me at Midnight mass is zero.
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This far in advance, I bet you could find a family to give you a ride to midnight Mass, unless you don’t want to leave your sister. Of course, she might be asleep by then.
 
Great advice everyone,
Thanks 🙂 My mom has now said she will be with us during the day but then go to him in the afternoon and stay there! So not completely alone from parents ^^
 
Something else you could do is invite someone to share the day with you and your sister.
A friend, family member or neighbor that would otherwise be alone on this day as well.

Even a couple, b/c many time they don’t have kids or the kids are far away celebrating on their own with their families.

It doesn’t have to be a full meal, either. Finger foods and drink along with an afternoon (or a couple hours) of conversation, games or a movie would be a blessing to people. It might also increase your ‘family’, too.

Whatever you do, I wish you a blessed Christmas (both Day and season).
 
therose01 said:
Hi everyone. So, me and my sibling live at home, we are both in our 20’s and are studying. Our parents divorced when we were kids. It’s always been that we celebrate Christmas Eve at our dad’s ans Christmas Day at our mom’s. Then New Year was usually at mom’s. This year however, me and my sibling will celebrate alone. Mom recently met a new boyfriend and says she wants to celebrate Christmas alone with him. My dad is visiting my older sister during Christmas who lives abroad. So, we will have to celebrate it alone which feels kind of wierd. Any ideas on how to make it feel less lonely? Maybe some activities to feel more at peace with Christmas being celebrated like that? My sibling is not religious at all.
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I think there are plenty of wonderful older people who can use mass drivers. They are often alone too and would be forever grateful.
 
therose01 said:
Hi everyone. So, me and my sibling live at home, we are both in our 20’s and are studying. Our parents divorced when we were kids. It’s always been that we celebrate Christmas Eve at our dad’s ans Christmas Day at our mom’s. Then New Year was usually at mom’s. This year however, me and my sibling will celebrate alone. Mom recently met a new boyfriend and says she wants to celebrate Christmas alone with him. My dad is visiting my older sister during Christmas who lives abroad. So, we will have to celebrate it alone which feels kind of wierd. Any ideas on how to make it feel less lonely? Maybe some activities to feel more at peace with Christmas being celebrated like that? My sibling is not religious at all.
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Aw, this is hard. I remember when I was a newlywed and we could not afford a trip home for Christmas - too far away. There was little money for decorating but I got styrofoam strawberries covered in red sparkle at the grocery story (and I still use them on my fancier tree now) and I also hung up with wire on the tree the set of copper cookie cutters which my grandmother had sent me that she earned from wax paper box tops or something. They matched some other copper in the kitchen area of our tiny 2 room apartment. And I finished the little tree with handmade blue and white gingham bows, which matched a set of set of four light blue wedding-gift mugs that hung on the wall.

We purchased for each other a handful of very inexpensive gifts and we invited over another newlywed couple from our young adult Sunday School that we were just getting to know that were also too far from home to go for Christmas. We had a brunch, homemade cookies, enjoyed good hot drinks in the mugs, and played board games while Christmas music played on the radio. And we were all surprised how very pleasant the unusual day turned out to be. And Christmas-y too.

So I’d say low expectations and making what effort you are able will get you far.

I agree Midnight Mass is very memorable and I hope you both go. Non-religious folks often are willing to experience Mass that day. I am sure there must be some “strays” you can invite to your house. Perhaps your pastor or someone you know knows of someone looking for a place for outsiders to be “family” for a day. I know the Lord will bring you someone if you want. We all need family, and we all don’t have it…

A tip for brunch is to make it ahead, either a breakfast casserole or something like chipped beef on toast, so, no mess to contend with that day. Also for dinner, a high-temp roast is easy and makes the house smell wonderful, baked potatoes are easy and a prepared veggie, a prepared dessert. Christmas music, candles, a simple gift or two for you each to open…
 
I didn’t see the part about your brother being a confirmed atheist. Well, Christmas Mass is a wonderful time to pray for his soul. And going to Mass, you will bring Our Lord home with you. You will bless your house. Speaking of which, be sure to bless your house with Holy Water that day. 🙂

You wrote:
therose01 said:
Thanks for the suggestions. I don’t know exactly how she’ll do it but I guess it’s either A) at our house and we need to go out or B) at his house and we have to stay. A bit of a surprise but she says she wants her own life and that we are grownups now.
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therose01 said:
Great advice everyone,
Thanks 🙂 My mom has now said she will be with us during the day but then go to him in the afternoon and stay there! So not completely alone from parents ^^
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Wow, I am glad she had a change of heart on this. That boyfriend doesn’t sound too promising. 😦 A peaceful morning at home with you - and maybe Midnight Mass with you?) might even provide a needed contrast to her afternoon. You never know.

You can employ your Mom’s help then, in creating a nice day. She can bake cookies or work on pre-cooking. Ask what she can do. 🙂
 
I spent a number of holidays alone when I first lived in San Francisco. You should def go to Mass, even if it’s by yourself. Have a tree and decorate your home, so you and your sibling can at least enjoy the holiday spirit together. Plan to cook dinner, wine & dine, stock up on DVDs. Relax and enjoy yourself. I’ll be thinking of you.
 
I am touched by all the support and advice, a big thank you to every single one of you 🙂 There’s definitely more hope now. And I’ll do my best to get to Midnight Mass, as my sibling is very anti-religion I will most likely go alone but perhaps I can find a taxi home, even though it’s quite far (1h +). Anyway, thank you all! May God bless you and may you have a Christmas filled with love, joy and peace.
 
It’s good that you’ll have your mother there for lunch at least. That just leaves the afternoon. If we are on our own or just one or two extra family members, we traditionally watch a Christmas movie in the afternoon. I have the carols playing throughout the day, even on low volume when there are other things happening.

It might surprise you to know that Christmas night and Boxing day (or the day after Christmas), are a common period that people experience depression as a result of general family dysfunction. It’s the result of the convergence of a high expectation of Christmas, and the reality that family is not always there for us. So be aware of that if it happens. It passes.
 
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