Celibacy After Marriage

[CallMeCatholic]

I recognize that the title may be misleading, but I am writing a paper about Celibacy for a class, and I came across a minor setback. I remember reading somewhere on CAF about a couple(s) that, after consummation and marriage, decided to sacrifice ‘martial relations’ and consecrate their marriage to a specific Saint.

So from that, does anyone know if there are any institutes or groups that lead the consecration of marriages, and require celibacy within the state of marriage? Thanks & God Bless!

 

[Corki]

A couple may decide to pursue a Joshepite marriage. This is a very personal decision undertaken with the couple’s spiritual advisor for spiritual reasons and can be revoked at any time by either spouse. It is not something that would be a group requirement - at least not any group sanctioned by the Church.

 

[1ke]

Also, please note that the word celibate means unmarried.

Since you are writing a paper on celibacy, I am not seeing why your paper would have anything to do with married people. Unless you mean something other than celibate?

Please clarify what your paper’s subject is, and please use the term celibate correctly.

.

 

[CallMeCatholic]

I apologize for the definition mix-up. I more-so meant chastity & abstinence after marriage. I’ll change the title.

A couple may decide to pursue a Joshepite marriage. This is a very personal decision undertaken with the couple’s spiritual advisor for spiritual reasons and can be revoked at any time by either spouse. It is not something that would be a group requirement - at least not any group sanctioned by the Church.

Thank you! That’s what I was looking for.

 

[EasterJoy]

Also, please note that the word celibate means unmarried.

Since you are writing a paper on celibacy, I am not seeing why your paper would have anything to do with married people. Unless you mean something other than celibate?

Please clarify what your paper’s subject is, and please use the term celibate correctly.

.

There is a dictionary definition of celibacy that means abstinence from sexual intercourse, especially because of a religious vow, a meaning not confined to the condition of being unmarried. Either definition is “correct”. IOW, a couple who agreed to a Josephite marriage could correctly refer to their union as celibate.

 

[fpt]

I apologize for the definition mix-up. I more-so meant chastity & abstinence after marriage. I’ll change the title.

Thank you! That’s what I was looking for.

In the marriage, per se, the marital act is very good and wanted by God. The holy conjugal erotism is chaste if there is the respect of natural moral law. The marital act with the pleasures and the orgasms in the respect of natural moral law is not sinful (venial sin or mortal sin), there is no presumption of sin because the couple makes love. The conjugal sex already a prayer, a liturgy, a sign of the relation between the Persons of Holy Trinity.

Your new title “chastity & abstinence after marriage”, could you explain? Because the terms “after marriage” is, only, if there is the death of one of spouse.

What is your topic? What do you want to write? That is not quite clear!!!

1. a normal catholic couple that decides to stop the sexual relations for prayer, for spiritual motives, during temporary period. How to manage the life in the same house, like brother and sister??? And if one of member wants sex what are the rights and the obligations? Is It a sin to want sex and to ask during this time? What is the natural ( or divine) moral order of this temporary situation in the catholic marriage?
   or
2. a normal catholic couple that decides to stop the sexual relations for prayer, for spiritual motives, for ever if and only if wifebegins a nun anf the husband begins a priest, a friar, a monk. What are the conditions of catholic church for saying yes at this new situation, and what is the divine moral order of thi new state of life?

 

[1ke]

The Church defines celibacy as the unmarried state. That is what I hate about English-- if enough people use a word incorrectly, someone in the dictionary business just changes the dictionary.

I think, too, it is important to point out that everyone is called to chaste living in their state of life. So chastity is also not a synonym for abstinence or continence.

The way in which one lives out chastity depends upon whether or not one is married. I suggest the Catechism sections on chastity and virtue as well as the encyclical Casti Connubii. I also suggest you read the Catholic Encyclopedia entries for Chastity and Celibacy at www.newadvent.org.

Regarding those who choose to live in a “Josephite marriage”, please note that this must be undertaken under the direction of a spiritual director, and both parties must be willing and able to begin cojugal life should the other desire it. For an example, you can look to St. Therese of Liseux’s parents-- who lived a Josephite marriage for a time before their spiritual director instructed them to take up the conjugal life.

These types of marriages are very rare, and are typically undertaken only for a period of time, not forever. And, no, there is no society of people in these types of marriages. They are the exception, not the typical way in which married couples live out their vocation.

 

[EasterJoy]

The Church defines celibacy as the unmarried state. That is what I hate about English-- if enough people use a word incorrectly, someone in the dictionary business just changes the dictionary.

If we’re going to be picky about it, the original Latin word only referred to men who had chosen to be unmarried (rather than those who lived alone by chance or not out of choice or women who were unmarried for any reason whatsoever). In other words, the celibate man was thought to be a distinct animal from the man unmarried out of no choice of his own, not to mention all unmarried women.

Actually, looking at the etymology of the word might be kind of interesting, since the first recorded use in the English language was roughly the 1660s. It would be interesting to look at a history of the meaning that people project onto both the word and the state of life, as well. (There is probably an entire book in that, though.)

As for English not having an academy of correct usage, while I go back and forth about whether that is a good thing or not there is no use getting upset about it. Words in English mean what people use them to mean, and there’s not much helping it. Good business for the dictionary people, I suppose…there will always be new editions needed.

 

[BettyBoop416]

That is what I hate about English-- if enough people use a word incorrectly, someone in the dictionary business just changes the dictionary.

With or without your approval, the language is going to evolve.

 

[Oh_Charlotte]

I don’t know how you would find documentation, but there is a long Catholic tradition, small t, meaning not dogma, that both Mary and Joseph had prior commitments to living single chaste lives, having already committed their virginity to the Lord for life, and they were in a conundrum when the rabbis called them to marriage. And they together decided to keep that vow in the bonds of marraige. Which as we know came with a surprise!

In a similar way, there are well-documented traditions of Saints from early on who chose to live chaste lives after marraige. I wish I could name one. Hopefully someone will chime in. There was one beautiful virgin of old who had committed her virginity to God from a young age but her family forced her to marry. The young man was not a Christian. On her wedding night she was able to convince him to not consummate but like her, give his life to Christ and they lived as chaste virgins together, married.

I don’t really see the point in consummating if this is your goal, though. Better not to do that, one would think! Kind of crazy-making, “Lets do this and then pretend we never did!”

Such a calling as chastity in marriage is rare but God does call people to unique things at times. I have not heard of any order that encourages it though! The only “order” I know advocating it is the old Protestant “Shakers”, and we know what happened to them… Their only “legacy”, of course, is furniture…

 

[Byrnwiga]

In a similar way, there are well-documented traditions of Saints from early on who chose to live chaste lives after marraige. I wish I could name one. Hopefully someone will chime in. There was one beautiful virgin of old who had committed her virginity to God from a young age but her family forced her to marry. The young man was not a Christian. On her wedding night she was able to convince him to not consummate but like her, give his life to Christ and they lived as chaste virgins together, married.

That would be Saint Cecilia: saintcecilia.us/

Such a calling as chastity in marriage is rare but God does call people to unique things at times. I have not heard of any order that encourages it though! The only “order” I know advocating it is the old Protestant “Shakers”, and we know what happened to them… Their only “legacy”, of course, is furniture…

Well, in defense of the Shakers, they did adopt many thousands of abandoned children as their own. Their society, while quite different from modern society, still had a very charming feel to it (in my opinion, at least ).

-Byrnwiga