Celibacy for men

[nojesusnopeace]

Is it possible? How do your monks do it? I’ve considered doing it before for personal reasons, but can’t fathom denying something the sinful body compels men to do naturally. Is it possible to be celibate and perform male biological functions without thinking of anything sinful and still remain celibate (i.e an innocent execution of bodily function without lust)?

 

[MaryT777]

Good question…

 

[Havard]

Is it possible? How do your monks do it? I’ve considered doing it before for personal reasons, but can’t fathom denying something the sinful body compels men to do naturally. Is it possible to be celibate and perform male biological functions without thinking of anything sinful and still remain celibate (i.e an innocent execution of bodily function without lust)?

What do you mean by an innocent execution of bodily function? We don’t believe masturbation is okay no matter what’s going on in your head.

As for whether stopping it is doable, it’s definitely doable. There’s a lot of literature on the subject, here’s just one list, though it’s not solely focused on just masturbation:

integrityrestored.com/Resources

 

[Stephen_says]

Is it possible? How do your monks do it? I’ve considered doing it before for personal reasons, but can’t fathom denying something the sinful body compels men to do naturally. Is it possible to be celibate and perform male biological functions without thinking of anything sinful and still remain celibate (i.e an innocent execution of bodily function without lust)?

I’m not saying this to pat myself on the back or anything, but I know from experience that you can defeat unchaste thoughts and actions and it is possible to be a celibate man. I haven’t gotten to the point where I feel LIFETIME celibacy is my calling, but I am called to be celibate outside the bonds of marriage.

It certainly is common to think that men have sexual thoughts all the time. It’s become part of our culture to accept this, and to brush off celibacy as unnatural, but these are lies. No doubt, some times are harder than others, and some men have it harder than others, especially if you’re trying to quit, but personally it’s not a constant 24/7 struggle with myself. You just fill your life with other things and it eventually becomes background noise. Background noise can be annoying, but you just have to turn up the good to drown out the bad.

If you would like to speak privately, feel free to message me.

 

[Havard]

I’m not saying this to pat myself on the back or anything, but I know from experience that you can defeat unchaste thoughts and actions and it is possible to be a celibate man. I haven’t gotten to the point where I feel LIFETIME celibacy is my calling, but I am called to be celibate outside the bonds of marriage.

It certainly is common to think that men have sexual thoughts all the time. It’s become part of our culture to accept this, and to brush off celibacy as unnatural, but these are lies. No doubt, some times are harder than others, and some men have it harder than others, especially if you’re trying to quit, but personally it’s not a constant 24/7 struggle with myself. You just fill your life with other things and it eventually becomes background noise. Background noise can be annoying, but you just have to turn up the good to drown out the bad.

If you would like to speak privately, feel free to message me.

Wonderful post, Stephen, and thank you for the testimonial.

One thing I’d add though, is that all of us are called to be celibate outside the bonds of marriage. I’m sure you’d agree, I just wanted to highlight the point in case the OP thought it might be a personal/prudential decision.

 

[Stephen_says]

Wonderful post, Stephen, and thank you for the testimonial.

One thing I’d add though, is that all of us are called to be celibate outside the bonds of marriage. I’m sure you’d agree, I just wanted to highlight the point in case the OP thought it might be a personal/prudential decision.

Thank you. And yes, sorry if that was unclear.

 

[nojesusnopeace]

For personal reasons I wont get into here (it would start an entirely new thread) im starting to believe that Go- has called upon me for lifetime celibacy, and it may be in my eternal interest to take heed.

This is where biology and faith i believe start conflicting. I should rephrase though - we relieve our bodily functions every day for sanitary and health reasons involving the same anatomy. There is no spiritual impuruty involved. Could the same be said for relieving an “itch” when the male anatomy rears its ugly head? This is particularly a problem for many males upon waking up, even when there is no perversion in their thoughts. Jesus said adultery and perversion comes from the heart; with that said, is it possible to relieve the itch, with no perversion in thought or on the computer screen, and remain in grace? I’m not trying to rationalize something that many true Christians believe to be sinful, I guess I’m trying to find an easy “workaround.”

The other option I considered was persuading my family doctor to prescribe me a drug that would completely or at least drastically neutralize the hormones that cause these feelings. I don’t know if they still do, but I heard back in the day military basic training would drug the soldiers food with something that allowed them to keep their minds off the women folk.

Sheer discipline wont work for me. I have an addictive personality and sinful flesh. Ive prayed many times humbly asking Go- to send the spirit to come stay with me to convict me and work within me. But at the same time, im only a car accident or heart attack away being stuck with my sins, I dont want to leave it to fate and want to act of my own accord quickly.

 

[Stephen_says]

One more thing I feel compelled to clear up before I go: it is not through my own power that celibacy is possible, it is only by God and through his graces that we are able to fulfill any of his commands. If you keep God and Heaven as your focus, you will find it possible to do many things once thought impossible.

Peace

 

[Rau]

…we relieve our bodily functions every day for sanitary and health reasons involving the same anatomy. There is no spiritual impuruty involved. Could the same be said for relieving an “itch” when the male anatomy rears its ugly head?

We urinate (and defecate) because that is an essential and natural bodily function - the excretory system is behaving as it is designed to do, for a good end. It is necessary to cooperate with it.

There is no need to cooperate with a desire for sexual release. Absent marriage, there is no good in doing so.

 

[Padster]

Is it possible to be celibate and perform male biological functions without thinking of anything sinful and still remain celibate (i.e an innocent execution of bodily function without lust)?

It is very possible. In my understanding it is the pornography and lust that is the problem, not the act itself, which may even be necessary during puberty to release tension in the body.

There is no need to cooperate with a desire for sexual release. Absent marriage, there is no good in doing so

I disagree. During puberty it may be necessary to ‘co-operate’ as a simple means of energy release. With many hormonal changes going on during this time, I am certain that, like volcanic activity, it is some form of pressure release. I know that people are approaching this from a purely religious standpoint which can be limiting, and I understand that. But God is above and beyond any religion. God is more like a force than an old man on a cloud. And a force would not concern itself with the minutiae of human existence, in my opinion. Forces are too busy creating and destroying things to worry about human biological functions. I know that none of us can ever truly grasp why we’re here, or what it is all about, but to limit God to the human brains of the Magisterium and rules laid down in a medieval era is flat-earth thinking. The only rules we need to live by are the 10 Commandments, which are common sense and are unchangeable.

Best wishes,
Padster

 

[Rau]

It is very possible. In my understanding it is the pornography and lust that is the problem, not the act itself, which may even be necessary during puberty to release tension in the body.

I disagree. During puberty it may be necessary to ‘co-operate’ as a simple means of energy release. With many hormonal changes going on during this time, I am certain that, like volcanic activity, it is some form of pressure release. I know that people are approaching this from a purely religious standpoint which can be limiting, and I understand that. But God is above and beyond any religion. God is more like a force than an old man on a cloud. And a force would not concern itself with the minutiae of human existence, in my opinion. Forces are too busy creating and destroying things to worry about human biological functions. I know that none of us can ever truly grasp why we’re here, or what it is all about, but to limit God to the human brains of the Magisterium and rules laid down in a medieval era is flat-earth thinking. The only rules we need to live by are the 10 Commandments, which are common sense and are unchangeable.

Best wishes,
Padster

So, if one does not masturbate sufficiently often, what is it that you fear might happen?

If the Ten Commandments are sufficient, do we need the Sacraments or the Mass? Do we really need the Church at all? Why did Christ establish it?

 

[Stephen_says]

It is very possible. In my understanding it is the pornography and lust that is the problem, not the act itself, which may even be necessary during puberty to release tension in the body.

Pornography and lust are not the only problem. The act itself is gravely disordered and sinful:

CCC2352: Masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action. The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose. For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.

 

[Padster]

So, if one does not masturbate sufficiently often, what is it that you fear might happen?

Well, where puberty is concerned it can lead to anger, frustration and out of character behaviour.

If the Ten Commandments are sufficient, do we need the Sacraments or the Mass?

Yes, because commandment no.4 exhorts us to keep holy the Sabbath day.

Do we really need the Church at all?

Man has always, by nature, worshipped things, so there will always be a need for places of worship. In terms of community cohesion and charitable giving, I would say they are vital.

Why did Christ establish it?

According to my Chambers Book of Facts, Christ proclaimed the most important rules of life to be love of God, followed by love of one’s neighbour. I believe He established the Church to make the world a better place.

Pornography and lust are not the only problem. The act itself is gravely disordered and sinful:

It is not. It is what often accompanies it that can be problematic and unhealthy.

Best wishes,
Padster

 

[Stephen_says]

It is not. It is what often accompanies it that can be problematic and unhealthy.

Please reference Church teachings concerning this point, because I fear this is your opinion and not revealed truth.

Peace

 

[Havard]

It is not. It is what often accompanies it that can be problematic and unhealthy.

Best wishes,
Padster

I’m sorry, Padster, but Church teaching definitely says otherwise, very clearly (bold added for emphasis):

The traditional Catholic doctrine that masturbation constitutes a grave moral disorder is often called into doubt or expressly denied today. It is said that psychology and sociology show that it is a normal phenomenon of sexual development, especially among the young. It is stated that there is real and serious fault only in the measure that the subject deliberately indulges in solitary pleasure closed in on self (“ipsation”), because in this case the act would indeed be radically opposed to the loving communion between persons of different sex which some hold is what is principally sought in the use of the sexual faculty.

This opinion is contradictory to the teaching and pastoral practice of the Catholic Church. Whatever the force of certain arguments of a biological and philosophical nature, which have sometimes been used by theologians, in fact both the Magisterium of the Church - in the course of a constant tradition - and the moral sense of the faithful have declared without hesitation that masturbation is an intrinsically and seriously disordered act.[19]

Persona Humana, IX, 1975

 

[Padster]

So what you are saying is that it is wrong, even when no pornography, lust or fantasies are involved? Is it still wrong if there is coercion, for example?

Best wishes,
Padster

 

[Stephen_says]

So what you are saying is that it is wrong, even when no pornography, lust or fantasies are involved? Is it still wrong if there is coercion, for example?

Best wishes,
Padster

CCC1859: Mortal sin requires full knowledge and complete consent. It presupposes knowledge of the sinful character of the act, of its opposition to God’s law. It also implies a consent sufficiently deliberate to be a personal choice. Feigned ignorance and hardness of heart do not diminish, but rather increase, the voluntary character of a sin.

1862: One commits venial sin when, in a less serious matter, he does not observe the standard prescribed by the moral law, or when he disobeys the moral law in a grave matter, but without full knowledge or without complete consent.

If in some way you are coerced into masturbating, it is still wrong and sinful, though perhaps, depending on the circumstances, the gravity of the sin is diminished.

Peace

 

[modofac]

Are you often coerced into masturbating?

???

I expect not.

I expect that, like most people, you are not often coerced into committing other sins, either.

Masturbation is a sin, it can be a serious sin, and the Church encourages all Christians to avoid the activity as one would avoid anything sinful. Committing sins often relieves tension…this is rather the point of a temptation - you are tempted to do something wrong that you believe will make you happy or relieve tension.

 

[leoncaruthers]

The body of a man is built to experience pleasure in the marital act, and most of us men are motivated to seek that pleasure. Because we can reason and sense our own bodies, we men frequently discover that we can trick ourselves, deceiving our senses in a way that triggers the pleasure reserved for the marital act. But it’s just that – a deception. A lie we tell our bodies with our own hands. All lies serve the evil one, even (especially!) the lies we tell ourselves.

If it’s a long-accustomed habit, it can be a very hard one to break. Chemically there are a number of things happening that aren’t unlike a drug addiction, even with no pornography or fantasy involved. Like any addiction, though, it can be beaten, with perseverance, prayer, and the grace of God. Masturbation isn’t a universal habit, and until recently wasn’t even a terribly common one.

 

[Rau]

…Masturbation isn’t a universal habit, and until recently wasn’t even a terribly common one.

If universal is understood to mean “100% have done it”, then I am sure you are correct. The evidence that is available does suggests it is done on occasions by a large % of us.

Why do you say that it was in times past not common? Is there evidence for this?