Celibate persons with SSA

[mrld20]

Now this is in regard to persons with deep seated same-sex attraction following the Church’s teachings on homosexuality (not active homosexuals).

Once again this post is not in regards to someone who is an active homosexual. My question is in how much of the in life of the Church should a person with really deep-seated SSA (like myself) be included in.

I hold to the traditional teaching of marriage between the man and women, I don’t believe in or have any kind of sex, and i pretty much follow the church teachings to the best of my ability (I’m not perfect ).

Yet despite all this there are some people in my parish who feel I am not fit to serve in certain roles in the Church. Obviously I can’t become a priest or deacon or anything like that. But some people still despite being a faithful catholic, despite the insistence of the parish priest, and others still believe me to be unfit.

I remember when a friend of mine started attending RCIA he asked me to be his sponsor. I can remember two women had a fit at the parish priest over me being his sponsor. These two women happened to be mothers.

Then another time I went to become a religious award counselor with the Boy Scouts (I’m an Eagle Scout with one palm myself) more parents had a fit.

Then one Saturday mass I served as a commentator. Afterwards the priest pulled me aside and said another parent had complained…

I guess they’re being nice about it by going to the priest or deacon. But it hurts because no matter what me, Father Dave, or the deacons or sisters in my parish say lots of people (the most guilty ones seem to be the parents with little kids).

This is not to say that all parents within the Church are like this. This question goes out to any Catholic parents out there. Do you think someone like myself who is celibate but with deep-seated SSA be involved in the spiritual life of the Church?

Let me be clear that I’ve never tried to tell anyone’s children about being a homosexual. I get the feeling that the parents don’t like me in Church because they think I would be a bad influence on their children.

I mean literally I’m 19 years old; I literally just left being a teenager and already parents think I’m going to “spread” the “gay agenda” and “convert” their children.

Doesn’t the Church say people like me are supposed to be included in the life of the Church?

 

[Phaedra777]

I would say the problem is that everyone seems to know that you have SSA. You are only 19, yet it seems to be common knowledge. Why is this?

As a parent, I think that the reason those who shy away from you interacting with their children might be if it is common knowledge that you “have a deep-seated” SSA, if they entrust their children to your care, they will be seen as “bad” parents.

Let’s just talk about the big elephant in the room–many people equate homosexuality with pedophilia. The parents are likely just erring way over on the side of caution.

 

[SonCatcher]

The church needs every Catholic to be active in her spiritual life. Remember that.

I suspect the problem is that too many people know about your struggle with SSA but little else. They only know this one detail and, sadly, jump to a wrong conclusion. I’m not sure what is the proper balance for you to honestly discuss your situation and not cause worry. For most people, it might suffice to tell them that God is leading you to the single life (an adequate explanation why you aren’t dating or entering a religious community). It’s unfortunate they aren’t taking the time to know the rest of you.

It’s also unfortunate that your clergy are telling you about these comments as though you did something wrong. What they should be doing is putting these parents in their place by explaining how you struggle to live a holy life.

The Scouts are a different issue, I’m afraid. They should still abide by the Scout Law in dealing with your situation, however.

 

[ssa_fellow]

As another 19 year old devout Catholic, with ssa which I’d say is deep seated, I certainly feel for you.
Yeah, unfortunately I think that Phaedra777 is right in saying that the problem is that everyone knows you have ssa. You certainly don’t have to answer as to why this is… it really doesn’t matter at this point, that’s just the facts of the situation.

I myself, have only told 5 of my closest friends. I confessed to my priest the very first time that I struggle with homosexual lust. But, there’s nothing that says we need to specify, and if our priest needs us to give more detail he’ll ask, so I always just say lust now. And yeah, I don’t think I’ll be closeted my whole life. I think there will be a time when I tell my parents and other people, probably to witness my faith journey to them.

The cross we bear is certainly a difficult one. I think because of how misunderstood it is.

But, I submit to everyone on this thread, and I’ll continue to say this. That gay people who live a “gay lifestyle” with no sexual restraint don’t hurt traditional marriage anymore than straight people who live lives with no sexual restraint.

People definitely treat these groups in VASTLY different ways, and yet I think the Church teaches that the actions of both are just as opposed to the teachings of Christ. Why do people only decry the “gay agenda”, isn’t it only a part of the agenda of the Sex Revolution?

And lastly, to be more blunt. Homosexuality definitely has nothing to do with pedophilia. To my knowledge, all pedophiles will have sex with both males and females- it has to do with the fact that they’re underage and they want to control them. The main difference is that child abuse does not lead to homosexuality, but it does lead to pedophilia.

 

[ssa_fellow]

Furthermore, (I don’t even like to talk about this stuff, but it is relevant to what the OP is going through) I think that the whole line of thought that gay people are gay because they were abused is a male-centered view.

How come people who believe this only really focus on boys being sexually abused then becoming gay. Does anyone believe that little girls who are abused then grow up to become lesbians? No. Then why would it happen in the other instance?

Anyways, I’m glad that you’re involved in your church anyways. Despite the haters. That would be really tough for me to deal with. It’s very likely next year that I’ll sign up to do some of the readings at Mass as well. And, I couldn’t imagine being informed of complaints.

This is just terrible. I’ll keep you in my prayers.

 

[Dakota_Roberts]

Now this is in regard to persons with deep seated same-sex attraction following the Church’s teachings on homosexuality (not active homosexuals).

Once again this post is not in regards to someone who is an active homosexual. My question is in how much of the in life of the Church should a person with really deep-seated SSA (like myself) be included in.

I hold to the traditional teaching of marriage between the man and women, I don’t believe in or have any kind of sex, and i pretty much follow the church teachings to the best of my ability (I’m not perfect ).

Yet despite all this there are some people in my parish who feel I am not fit to serve in certain roles in the Church. Obviously I can’t become a priest or deacon or anything like that. But some people still despite being a faithful catholic, despite the insistence of the parish priest, and others still believe me to be unfit.

I remember when a friend of mine started attending RCIA he asked me to be his sponsor. I can remember two women had a fit at the parish priest over me being his sponsor. These two women happened to be mothers.

Then another time I went to become a religious award counselor with the Boy Scouts (I’m an Eagle Scout with one palm myself) more parents had a fit.

Then one Saturday mass I served as a commentator. Afterwards the priest pulled me aside and said another parent had complained…

I guess they’re being nice about it by going to the priest or deacon. But it hurts because no matter what me, Father Dave, or the deacons or sisters in my parish say lots of people (the most guilty ones seem to be the parents with little kids).

This is not to say that all parents within the Church are like this. This question goes out to any Catholic parents out there. Do you think someone like myself who is celibate but with deep-seated SSA be involved in the spiritual life of the Church?

Let me be clear that I’ve never tried to tell anyone’s children about being a homosexual. I get the feeling that the parents don’t like me in Church because they think I would be a bad influence on their children.

I mean literally I’m 19 years old; I literally just left being a teenager and already parents think I’m going to “spread” the “gay agenda” and “convert” their children.

Doesn’t the Church say people like me are supposed to be included in the life of the Church?

Look, thirty years ago the Church wouldn’t acknowledge our existence, maybe someday soon people will stop treating us like freaks and child molesters. I doubt anyone at my church knows about me and that’s the way I want to keep it.

As another 19 year old devout Catholic, with ssa which I’d say is deep seated, I certainly feel for you.
Yeah, unfortunately I think that Phaedra777 is right in saying that the problem is that everyone knows you have ssa. You certainly don’t have to answer as to why this is… it really doesn’t matter at this point, that’s just the facts of the situation.

I myself, have only told 5 of my closest friends. I confessed to my priest the very first time that I struggle with homosexual lust. But, there’s nothing that says we need to specify, and if our priest needs us to give more detail he’ll ask, so I always just say lust now. And yeah, I don’t think I’ll be closeted my whole life. I think there will be a time when I tell my parents and other people, probably to witness my faith journey to them.

The cross we bear is certainly a difficult one. I think because of how misunderstood it is.

But, I submit to everyone on this thread, and I’ll continue to say this. That gay people who live a “gay lifestyle” with no sexual restraint don’t hurt traditional marriage anymore than straight people who live lives with no sexual restraint.

People definitely treat these groups in VASTLY different ways, and yet I think the Church teaches that the actions of both are just as opposed to the teachings of Christ. Why do people only decry the “gay agenda”, isn’t it only a part of the agenda of the Sex Revolution?

And lastly, to be more blunt. Homosexuality definitely has nothing to do with pedophilia. To my knowledge, all pedophiles will have sex with both males and females- it has to do with the fact that they’re underage and they want to control them. The main difference is that child abuse does not lead to homosexuality, but it does lead to pedophilia.

Eighteen year old devout Catholic here (I’ve prayed the rosary 40+ times this week alone).

People just don’t get us.

 

[Nita]

I will try to explain one of the problems I have with some SSA people.
They seem to accept the fact as an okay situation as long as they don’t act on those impulses - that society too should accept it as an okay state. I agree that they are not committing a sin if they do not act, but it is still a “disorder” of human nature, and should be recognized as such. And as such, they should be working to overcome it, not accept it. (The same thing we are all supposed to be spiritually busy with - correcting and overcoming our disordered passions – not accepting them and saying they are okay in us.)

Now, there may be some who openly announce the disorder and don’t act on it but I have a feeling those are few. Rather, I think that most who openly announce it are those who willingly live the lifestyle. And they are demanding that we accept that as okay also.

All of us have tendencies that are disorders of our human nature. Just because they are present in us without our wanting them to be there, does not make them okay for us. They are something we are called on to overcome. In those that choose to “come out of the closet”, there seems to be almost a valuing of the disordered state, like they are proud of it. IMO, once an SSA person accepts that there is nothing wrong with such a state, it is only a matter of time before they will decide that it is therefore okay to live according to that state.

Perhaps a comparison will give a better idea.
Take a woman that always lusts after any male - been that way as far back as she can remember and can’t seem to help it; it’s just there. So far, she has not committed any adulterous act.
Should that person come to accept that it such lust is okay just because that’s the way she is? Or should she seek ways to overcome it.
(You can substitute any disordered passion (gluttony; avarice…).

Is it right for them to go around announcing what their “condition” is and telling/expecting everyone to acknowledge their state as acceptable for members of society? Almost daring us to disagree.
As I said, almost everybody has disordered passions but generally
we are not proud of them;
do not go around announcing them publicly;
work to overcome them and replace them with the proper virtue/attitude;
do not claim it is okay for us to be that way (since we did not seek it)
etc. etc. etc.

.

 

[Dakota_Roberts]

I will try to explain one of the problems I have with some SSA people.
They seem to accept the fact as an okay situation as long as they don’t act on those impulses - that society too should accept it as an okay state. I agree that they are not committing a sin if they do not act, but it is still a “disorder” of human nature, and should be recognized as such. And as such, they should be working to overcome it, not accept it. (The same thing we are all supposed to be spiritually busy with - correcting and overcoming our disordered passions – not accepting them and saying they are okay in us.)

Now, there may be some who openly announce the disorder and don’t act on it but I have a feeling those are few. Rather, I think that most who openly announce it are those who willingly live the lifestyle. And they are demanding that we accept that as okay also.

All of us have tendencies that are disorders of our human nature. Just because they are present in us without our wanting them to be there, does not make them okay for us. They are something we are called on to overcome. In those that choose to “come out of the closet”, there seems to be almost a valuing of the disordered state, like they are proud of it. IMO, once an SSA person accepts that there is nothing wrong with such a state, it is only a matter of time before they will decide that it is therefore okay to live according to that state.

Perhaps a comparison will give a better idea.
Take a woman that always lusts after any male - been that way as far back as she can remember and can’t seem to help it; it’s just there. So far, she has not committed any adulterous act.
Should that person come to accept that it such lust is okay just because that’s the way she is? Or should she seek ways to overcome it.
(You can substitute any disordered passion (gluttony; avarice…).

Is it right for them to go around announcing what their “condition” is and telling/expecting everyone to acknowledge their state as acceptable for members of society? Almost daring us to disagree.
As I said, almost everybody has disordered passions but generally
we are not proud of them;
do not go around announcing them publicly;
work to overcome them and replace them with the proper virtue/attitude;
do not claim it is okay for us to be that way (since we did not seek it)
etc. etc. etc.

.

:doh2:

And this is what seriously annoys us.

Is it wrong to lust after someone of the opposite sex? Yes.
Is it wrong to lust after someone of the same sex? Definitely.

Is it wrong to chastely love someone of the opposite sex? Definitely not
Is it wrong to chastely love someone of the same gender? Doesn’t say so in Church teaching

Y’know the people who come out of the closet may do it to because they are tired of feeling so isolated, by coming out of the closet they can get help and support
By providing examples of celibate people with SSA who are happy we can show the LGBT community that there is a better way.

 

[mrld20]

I would say the problem is that everyone seems to know that you have SSA. You are only 19, yet it seems to be common knowledge. Why is this?

As a parent, I think that the reason those who shy away from you interacting with their children might be if it is common knowledge that you “have a deep-seated” SSA, if they entrust their children to your care, they will be seen as “bad” parents.

Let’s just talk about the big elephant in the room–many people equate homosexuality with pedophilia. The parents are likely just erring way over on the side of caution.

My parents told a bunch of people in the parish when I told them…

 

[mrld20]

I will try to explain one of the problems I have with some SSA people.
They seem to accept the fact as an okay situation as long as they don’t act on those impulses - that society too should accept it as an okay state. I agree that they are not committing a sin if they do not act, but it is still a “disorder” of human nature, and should be recognized as such. And as such, they should be working to overcome it, not accept it. (The same thing we are all supposed to be spiritually busy with - correcting and overcoming our disordered passions – not accepting them and saying they are okay in us.)

Now, there may be some who openly announce the disorder and don’t act on it but I have a feeling those are few. Rather, I think that most who openly announce it are those who willingly live the lifestyle. And they are demanding that we accept that as okay also.

All of us have tendencies that are disorders of our human nature. Just because they are present in us without our wanting them to be there, does not make them okay for us. They are something we are called on to overcome. In those that choose to “come out of the closet”, there seems to be almost a valuing of the disordered state, like they are proud of it. IMO, once an SSA person accepts that there is nothing wrong with such a state, it is only a matter of time before they will decide that it is therefore okay to live according to that state.

Perhaps a comparison will give a better idea.
Take a woman that always lusts after any male - been that way as far back as she can remember and can’t seem to help it; it’s just there. So far, she has not committed any adulterous act.
Should that person come to accept that it such lust is okay just because that’s the way she is? Or should she seek ways to overcome it.
(You can substitute any disordered passion (gluttony; avarice…).

Is it right for them to go around announcing what their “condition” is and telling/expecting everyone to acknowledge their state as acceptable for members of society? Almost daring us to disagree.
As I said, almost everybody has disordered passions but generally
we are not proud of them;
do not go around announcing them publicly;
work to overcome them and replace them with the proper virtue/attitude;
do not claim it is okay for us to be that way (since we did not seek it)
etc. etc. etc.

.

But it wasn’t my choice to come out; my parents told half the parish without telling me. And I’ve tried the whole “ex-gay” thing. My SSA is so deep-seated that a years worth of therapy didn’t change a thing about. Prayer: didn’t change a thing about it. I think you have to accept that some people just can’t change. Maybe others can but every time I try I just get really really depressed and upset…

 

[OraLabora]

I would say the problem is that everyone seems to know that you have SSA. You are only 19, yet it seems to be common knowledge. Why is this?

Bingo. I suspect the OP must “wear it on his sleeve” as the expression goes. Perhaps that is part of the problem, and living his celibacy discretely would at least send the signal that his sexuality is not the center of his identity. That is perhaps what is turning the parents off, that he seems to be calling attention to his sexuality even though he’s not sexually active. Call me an old fuddy-duddy but when all the guns are aimed in the same direction, towards one’s self, it usually means a healthy dose of self-examination is in order. If he, at 19, doesn’t have a girlfriend, there’s nothing unusual about that unless he is blaring out to everyone “I don’t have a girlfriend because I am gay”.

Discretion is the better part of valor.

If I am wrong in my hunch then please call me on it and by all means I’ll apologize.

 

[SonCatcher]

Bingo. I suspect the OP must “wear it on his sleeve” as the expression goes. Perhaps that is part of the problem, and living his celibacy discretely would at least send the signal that his sexuality is not the center of his identity. That is perhaps what is turning the parents off, that he seems to be calling attention to his sexuality even though he’s not sexually active. Call me an old fuddy-duddy but when all the guns are aimed in the same direction, towards one’s self, it usually means a healthy dose of self-examination is in order. If he, at 19, doesn’t have a girlfriend, there’s nothing unusual about that unless he is blaring out to everyone “I don’t have a girlfriend because I am gay”.

Discretion is the better part of valor.

If I am wrong in my hunch then please call me on it and by all means I’ll apologize.

Apparently not. Did you read the OP’s recent posts about being “outed” by his parents? They certainly overstepped their bounds regardless of how open the OP is. That information is for no one but him to share.

 

[Dakota_Roberts]

My parents told a bunch of people in the parish when I told them…

Hurtful

I can’t believe they’d burn you like that

Bingo. I suspect the OP must “wear it on his sleeve” as the expression goes. Perhaps that is part of the problem, and living his celibacy discretely would at least send the signal that his sexuality is not the center of his identity. That is perhaps what is turning the parents off, that he seems to be calling attention to his sexuality even though he’s not sexually active. Call me an old fuddy-duddy but when all the guns are aimed in the same direction, towards one’s self, it usually means a healthy dose of self-examination is in order. If he, at 19, doesn’t have a girlfriend, there’s nothing unusual about that unless he is blaring out to everyone “I don’t have a girlfriend because I am gay”.

Discretion is the better part of valor.

If I am wrong in my hunch then please call me on it and by all means I’ll apologize.

I do believe an apology is in order

 

[Nita]

But it wasn’t my choice to come out; my parents told half the parish without telling me. And I’ve tried the whole “ex-gay” thing. My SSA is so deep-seated that a years worth of therapy didn’t change a thing about. Prayer: didn’t change a thing about it. I think you have to accept that some people just can’t change. Maybe others can but every time I try I just get really really depressed and upset…

When you’re talking about anything deep-seated, don’t expect it to go away quickly (a year is very quick for something like that). When I speak about battling something, I’m not just speaking theoretically. I’ve had my own “cross” (and I am not going to go into it) – and it was years and years! But believe me, had I accepted that since it seemed that it could not change and therefore it was okay, I would probably still be battling it (and failing as I so often did),

I’m very sorry about what your parents did.
I hope you will keep praying; I hope you will accept that homosexual desires are not pleasing to God - and/or something He desires to be present in our human nature; I hope you will seek ways that have helped others overcome these desires. I don’t know why God chooses not to quickly remove these flaws once we recognize them as such and desire to change – but He has His reasons. Who knows, maybe in my case it was just so that I could be here today to tell you, from experience, not to expect to overcome deep seated sinful tendencies to be overcome quickly. And to encourage you not to give up - because also, from experience, I know things can change.

I will keep you in my prayers.

God bless you,
Nita

 

[OraLabora]

Hurtful

I can’t believe they’d burn you like that

I do believe an apology is in order

Yes I see now the reason the information was disseminated widely in the parish, I completely missed his post before mine.

I do sincerely apologize to mrld20 and will pray for him that his difficulties don’t get the better of him. He is to be commended for his efforts at chastity.

His parents also owe him an apology.

 

[Usagi]

I’d like to say that you three are downright heroic for striving to live as you do under the dual burden of your own temptations and the social pressure to act on them. From what you’ve been saying, you don’t hear that kind of affirmation and encouragement often enough, so here ya go.

Usagi

 

[mrld20]

Bingo. I suspect the OP must “wear it on his sleeve” as the expression goes. Perhaps that is part of the problem, and living his celibacy discretely would at least send the signal that his sexuality is not the center of his identity. That is perhaps what is turning the parents off, that he seems to be calling attention to his sexuality even though he’s not sexually active. Call me an old fuddy-duddy but when all the guns are aimed in the same direction, towards one’s self, it usually means a healthy dose of self-examination is in order. If he, at 19, doesn’t have a girlfriend, there’s nothing unusual about that unless he is blaring out to everyone “I don’t have a girlfriend because I am gay”.

Discretion is the better part of valor.

If I am wrong in my hunch then please call me on it and by all means I’ll apologize.

LOL once again my parent’s toldf everyone in ther parish… This is only the second time i’ve said it…

 

[Stevin_Habba]

I used to struggle with masturbation and pornography, I would watch pornography and masturbate often throughout the day. When I realized that masturbation was a grave sin in the Catholic Church, I immediately began the “struggle” just as homosexuals may begin their “struggle” to battle this disorder.
I went a few days, and failed. Then a few weeks and failed. Then a month and failed… Then a few months and FAILED once again. Then I failed not even a week later. Then I went about 6 months and then failed again. But the point is, I was TRYING, and because of the fact that I was trying, today, I am able to go for a VERY long time without masturbating, and I honestly feel as though I will never masturbate again. But I still know that I am struggling with this, just as someone who has homosexual tendencies may not be ACTING on their homosexuality, but continues to struggle when they get “tempted” to lust over someone of the same sex.
Out of mere HABIT I would touch myself and with time I began to teach myself to stop immediately whenever I would realize I was touching myself. With time that habit began to go away, it’s still there and I still as a HETEROSEXUAL MAN have tendencies to lust over woman, but the point is that I CONTROL myself, I do not allow myself to lust over women or to look at pornography or to masturbate. I do this because I know that God’s commandments are NOT burdensome (1 John 5), and I have seen from personal experience that by not masturbating and not looking at pornography, I have gained a great respect for women and for myself.
So what I am saying my homosexual brothers and/or sisters in Christ (omnisexual as well), is that we all struggle in life, but we must continue to struggle, we cannot ACCEPT that masturbation is “normal”, if I accepted that masturbation is just a part of human nature, then I may have never been able to stop. I instead realized that masturbation became a part of MY human nature because the WORLD accepts it as something normal, because the WORLD provides me with ways to masturbate by giving me access to pornography 24/7. But I know that I am not from the world, for Christ said:

If you belonged to the world, the world would love its own; but because you do not belong to the world, and I have chosen you out of the world, the world hates you. - John 15:19

The world hates me because the world WANTS me to masturbate and to watch pornography, but I do not accommodate myself to the world and its standards, but to the standards of God’s One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church.​

My brothers and sisters in Christ with this “DEEP SEATED SSA”, I tell you now, I had a “DEEP SEATED tendency to MASTURBATE and watch PORNOGRAPHY”. And I struggled much more than a year to overcome it, but I am happy today knowing that even when I did fail, at least I was TRYING, and that I had the God-Given Sacrament of Reconciliation, so that I may be forgiven when I sin and receive the grace not to sin again.​

Those of you who are struggling with homosexuality or know that you are naturally attracted to members of the same sex, know that I too am naturally attracted to pornography and masturbation, but I know it is a grave disorder and so I stay away from it and try my best not to allow myself to remain in such a state.​

You are in a state of disorder believe it or not if you are a homosexual, but that does not mean that you are going to Hell. No no, just as how I too was in a state of disorder because I was naturally masturbating and watching pornography. Yet I knew that I was not going to Hell because I was TRYING, and that’s all that matters here my brothers and sisters in Christ. No matter what it is you struggle with, it is the fact that you are “STRUGGLING” with it that makes you an amazing individual and I would say “SAINT” in the Catholic Church.​

My advice to anyone who is being treated unfairly at their Church or anywhere in the world is to acknowledge your state of disorder and understand that you have the power to affect the people around you. So if you think that you can be deep-seated ssa and still serve the Church without influencing people wrongly, then you go and do that. But remember the worlds of our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ:

Matthew 5:27-30
“You have heard that it was said,r ‘You shall not commit adultery.’
28
But I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
29
If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one of your members than to have your whole body thrown into Gehenna.
30
And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one of your members than to have your whole body go into Gehenna.

You can serve the Church and be a homosexual who struggles to resist the temptations and tendencies to be attracted to people of the same-sex, but it is all the better if you are able to serve the Church as a celibate man who associates him/herself neither with homosexuality, omnisexuality, bi-sexuality, or heterosexuality. But lives a celibate life knowing that the only lifestyle which is acceptable to God is one that is heterosexual or none of the above. We can think of Jesus Christ as being none of the above in his lifestyle, but let us also remember that He married a Church that is female spiritually (cf. Ephesians 5); but you can still think of Him as having no sexual tendencies at all, for our Lord did not wish to have sexual relations with anyone He came across and so He is the perfect role model of celibacy for those of you who struggle with homosexuality. Remember that Priests too struggle with celibacy, they even say no to heterosexuality so that they may serve all children of God (male and female) equally.

 

[mrld20]

It doesn’t help either that I tend to run on the effeminate side LOL… But it’s not like I’m out there saying “Look at me i’m a homosexual!”

Unless it’s a close friend or family member (or the oh so esteemed parish of St. John the Baptist) I don’t tell people…

But generally I’m categorized as “gay” because of my voice (which I really can’t help) and for the fact i like to wear certain brand name clothing LOL… BUt for the most part I don’t tell people about my SSA… They just automatically stereotype me as such…

 

[Dakota_Roberts]

Yes I see now the reason the information was disseminated widely in the parish, I completely missed his post before mine.

I do sincerely apologize to mrld20 and will pray for him that his difficulties don’t get the better of him. He is to be commended for his efforts at chastity.

His parents also owe him an apology.

LOL once again my parent’s told everyone in ther parish… This is only the second time i’ve said it…

I guess that makes you even

I’d like to say that you three are downright heroic for striving to live as you do under the dual burden of your own temptations and the social pressure to act on them. From what you’ve been saying, you don’t hear that kind of affirmation and encouragement often enough, so here ya go.

Usagi

There’s plenty affirmation on line, but very little in real life.

So, going through the Ask an Apologist forum I’ve found a couple interesting ones

Dear blue,

“Gay” is a term that those with homosexual inclinations prefer to be called. “Lesbian” is a term that women with homosexual inclinations prefer to be called. Homosexual inclinations are those by which people desire to have sexual relations with members of their own sex.

How could homosexuality, in itself, be a sin? Sins are acts that are contrary to what God expects of us. An inclination is not an act.

Thinking, in itself, is not a sin. For anyone, regardless of sexual inclination, to recognize someone else as sexually attractive is not a sin. On the other hand, to deliberately allow oneself to be temped by particular thoughts, sexual or otherwise, can be an occasion of sin or it can actually be sinful in itself.

Scripture condemns homosexual activity—not the inclination itself.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.

Some people on the forum didn’t get the memo

Dear Forever,

Theoretically a person with homosexual tendencies may live with a life-long partner in a celibate relationship. I say “theoretically” because practically this may very difficult to achieve, especially if the individuals are young. The mere physical proximity to each other could be a continual occasion of sin. However, if they center themselves on the Lord and avoid whatever would lead them to sin, it is possible for them live a holy life. I know of some such older couples who do. Of course, these don’t make the headlines. With grace, all things are possible.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.

It can be done and has been done before

snip

No one is born a porn addict or masturbator, OTOH some are born with same sex attraction (homosexuality) just like the vast majority are born with opposite sex attraction (heterosexuality). You said it became a part of you, in most cases heterosexuality or homosexuality is a part of you from the beginning. I would like to point out that even if it is an innate part of us it does not mean we think it is appropriate to act on it.

PS STOP SHOUTING, italics, bolding and underlining are better for emphasis

It doesn’t help either that I tend to run on the effeminate side LOL… But it’s not like I’m out there saying “Look at me i’m a homosexual!”

Unless it’s a close friend or family member (or the oh so esteemed parish of St. John the Baptist) I don’t tell people…

But generally I’m categorized as “gay” because of my voice (which I really can’t help) and for the fact i like to wear certain brand name clothing LOL… BUt for the most part I don’t tell people about my SSA… They just automatically stereotype me as such…

I also happen to run on the “effeminate” side, for example I am a very neat person, I always look well-kempt, I sometimes slip into a very soft and kind of girl voice. I always dress stylish when I’m not forced to wear the school’s ugly uniform, I’m a dress shirt and slacks kind of guy. I’m also not very aggressive.