J
JReducation
Guest
Has anyone ever thought of the possibility of a celibate life as their vocation? I’m not speaking about becoming a priest or religious. I am speaking about remaining in the secular world as a celibate man or woman for the sake of the Kingdom of God.
After my wife died in the early 90s, I was left with two children, one 4 and one 9. Today they are 19 and 24. My son is a sophomore in college and my daughter is a teacher and graduate school student majoring in brain science. After several attempts at finding a second mate I realized that God wanted me for him alone. I joined the Secular Franciscan Order as a celibate member and made vows of poverty, chastity and obedience. I promised to live the Gospel in the manner of St. Francis of Assisi for the rest of my life.
The Secular Franciscan Order is an order for secular men and women, some celibate and some married; but we do not live in monasteries or friaries as other Franciscans do. We usually live with our families or in small communities with other Secular Franciscans. Our Rule demands that we serve God in the secular world bringing Christ into every dimension of the world, while at the same time living according to the values and spirituality of St. Francis, as prescribed in his Rule for the Brothers and Sisters of Penance.
Our lives are very simple. We own minimum property. We belong to fraternities where we receive spiritual support, nurturing and guidance. Like every order we have a local superior called a Minister, a regional Minister and a General Minister for the Order around the world. The benefit of this life is that we live the life of the Franciscan family outside the cloister. Those who are called to marriage may do so and still live as the rest of the Franciscan family, praying, doing penance, obedient to the Church in all things, serving through ministry, living simply, praying the Liturgy of the Hours daily, attending the Eucharist during the week, spending time in silence and before the Blessed Sacrament. Those are just some of the outward expressions of our life.
The great thing about this form of life is that it allows the secular man or woman the option of living a celibate life for the sake of the Kingdom of God, not because marriage is to be avoided, but because our right to marriage is a precious gift that we can offer to God for his people. As I said, St. Francis made it possible for the Brothers and Sisters of Penance (Secular Franciscans) to combine the married state with the Franciscan life. However, he also made it possible for those who feel called to do so, to live celibate lives within the same fraternity.
I have found that living a celibate life allows me the freedom to spend more time in prayer. It also allows me to dedicate more time to ministry and to love God as my sole partner in life. It allows me the freedom to offer myself to God without sharing my life and love with a spouse. This is not a bad thing. As I said, I was married once. I know that you can love God and be married. In fact, a holy marriage is the best sign of Christ’s relationship with humanity, especially the Church. Nonetheless, not being married for the sake of the Kingdom allows one to be fully in love with God without having to share that love with anyone else. It allows us to live in the presence of Christ 24/7, as all Christians should, but in a physical way as well as spiritual. Our minds and our bodies belong to the Lord. Our future is for him, as is our present.
My own life is less complicated as I do not have to provide for the material well being of children or a spouse. I can live the poverty of the Gospel without sacrificing my family and spouse. I can give to God everything material and spiritual. Celibacy allows me to spend time in prayer and ministry among the poor, in my case among children with disabilities. Not having a wife I can spend as many hours as it takes serving the parish and the children with disabilities at my school where I’m principal. As to money, I don’t have to worry about making enough money to support a family. My children are adults. The little money that I have I have been able to put into a college fund for 19-year old and the rest will go to the poor.
My children are happy to have a consecrated Dad. That’s a bonus that God seems to have thrown into the equation.
My fellow Franciscans provide the fraternal support and community that we all need to maintain our spiritual life. Not living in a friary or monastery allows me a great deal of time alone between fraternity functions. This is time that I can use for prayer and for ministry. I often find myself writing on the spiritual life, not only on CAF but also on a book that I’m writing on Francis of Assisi and the consecrated secular man and woman.
To wrap up, I’m wondering if anyone else has ever thought of a celibate life for the sake of the Kingdom of God, not because they can’t find a partner, but because they have found one that meets all their needs and exceeds expectations. Are there others out there who have adopted this way of life? After all, the Church does allow for it.
Fraternally,
JR
After my wife died in the early 90s, I was left with two children, one 4 and one 9. Today they are 19 and 24. My son is a sophomore in college and my daughter is a teacher and graduate school student majoring in brain science. After several attempts at finding a second mate I realized that God wanted me for him alone. I joined the Secular Franciscan Order as a celibate member and made vows of poverty, chastity and obedience. I promised to live the Gospel in the manner of St. Francis of Assisi for the rest of my life.
The Secular Franciscan Order is an order for secular men and women, some celibate and some married; but we do not live in monasteries or friaries as other Franciscans do. We usually live with our families or in small communities with other Secular Franciscans. Our Rule demands that we serve God in the secular world bringing Christ into every dimension of the world, while at the same time living according to the values and spirituality of St. Francis, as prescribed in his Rule for the Brothers and Sisters of Penance.
Our lives are very simple. We own minimum property. We belong to fraternities where we receive spiritual support, nurturing and guidance. Like every order we have a local superior called a Minister, a regional Minister and a General Minister for the Order around the world. The benefit of this life is that we live the life of the Franciscan family outside the cloister. Those who are called to marriage may do so and still live as the rest of the Franciscan family, praying, doing penance, obedient to the Church in all things, serving through ministry, living simply, praying the Liturgy of the Hours daily, attending the Eucharist during the week, spending time in silence and before the Blessed Sacrament. Those are just some of the outward expressions of our life.
The great thing about this form of life is that it allows the secular man or woman the option of living a celibate life for the sake of the Kingdom of God, not because marriage is to be avoided, but because our right to marriage is a precious gift that we can offer to God for his people. As I said, St. Francis made it possible for the Brothers and Sisters of Penance (Secular Franciscans) to combine the married state with the Franciscan life. However, he also made it possible for those who feel called to do so, to live celibate lives within the same fraternity.
I have found that living a celibate life allows me the freedom to spend more time in prayer. It also allows me to dedicate more time to ministry and to love God as my sole partner in life. It allows me the freedom to offer myself to God without sharing my life and love with a spouse. This is not a bad thing. As I said, I was married once. I know that you can love God and be married. In fact, a holy marriage is the best sign of Christ’s relationship with humanity, especially the Church. Nonetheless, not being married for the sake of the Kingdom allows one to be fully in love with God without having to share that love with anyone else. It allows us to live in the presence of Christ 24/7, as all Christians should, but in a physical way as well as spiritual. Our minds and our bodies belong to the Lord. Our future is for him, as is our present.
My own life is less complicated as I do not have to provide for the material well being of children or a spouse. I can live the poverty of the Gospel without sacrificing my family and spouse. I can give to God everything material and spiritual. Celibacy allows me to spend time in prayer and ministry among the poor, in my case among children with disabilities. Not having a wife I can spend as many hours as it takes serving the parish and the children with disabilities at my school where I’m principal. As to money, I don’t have to worry about making enough money to support a family. My children are adults. The little money that I have I have been able to put into a college fund for 19-year old and the rest will go to the poor.
My children are happy to have a consecrated Dad. That’s a bonus that God seems to have thrown into the equation.
My fellow Franciscans provide the fraternal support and community that we all need to maintain our spiritual life. Not living in a friary or monastery allows me a great deal of time alone between fraternity functions. This is time that I can use for prayer and for ministry. I often find myself writing on the spiritual life, not only on CAF but also on a book that I’m writing on Francis of Assisi and the consecrated secular man and woman.
To wrap up, I’m wondering if anyone else has ever thought of a celibate life for the sake of the Kingdom of God, not because they can’t find a partner, but because they have found one that meets all their needs and exceeds expectations. Are there others out there who have adopted this way of life? After all, the Church does allow for it.
Fraternally,
JR