Cell Phone Etiquette

[Anglewannabe]

Hi Everyone,

I am just wondering how others feel about cell phone etiquette. For example, if someone is sitting by themselves at a coffee shop, I see no problem with them texting. However, I sometimes wonder where the line is between people needing their messages and people being rude.

A while ago I was at coffee with someone who kept checking their phone. They were actually checking the time because they had paid for parking and wanted to move their car before they got a ticket. I find that reasonable and no different than checking a watch. Also after 2-3 times of checking they told me they were checking because their parking meter was running out.

However, there are other times I find it plain rude. Like when I have a supper party and someone takes out the cell at the table. Or once I was even in a bible study/sharing group and one lady answered her cell phone.

I have always been of the mind set if I am going out, people can leave a message since if I take the time to go to bible study, it is to participate in the bible study and anyone who wants to call me can leave a message.

How do other people feel about cell phone usage. Just one thing to note, I am taking about non-emergency calls.

Angie

 

[VivienneJ]

So, how, without answering, would you know the call was not an emergency call?

There was a Sunday I was a Mass, with my mobile on silent, my colleague (newly promoted to a position of responsibility) was desperately trying to get hold of me or our superior for guidance on how to handle a situation she was in at that moment. By the time I came out of Mass and checked my mobile, she had made her decision, without the reassurance of someone else’s (name removed by moderator)ut, but, for her, that call was an emergency.

 

[Brian123456]

It’s so amazing the human race didn’t die off before cell phones.

Mine is on vibrate if on at all anytime I am anywhere other than home or work.

It’s primarily for outgoing calls. I’m old fashioned and still have a landline with an answering machine.

I’d say if the person is with you by choice as in a coffee and cake group in your home the person should not actively engage in texting or calling but it wouldn’t be rude to check in on somone or something if need be after leaving the table or area.

Cell phones must be powered off during mass and our priest, a good hearted man, has stated this during homily. Nothing more annoying during Mass than a phone going off. This is why they have a vibrate mode if one must have it on.

 

[CatholicSheila]

I wish people didn’t feel the need to answer their phone everytime it rang. I work in an outbound based call centre - and it is incredibly annoying when I call people and they can’t talk because they’re in a meeting. Or if they’re driving and they can’t talk because it is illegal. They knew that before they answered the phone. What are they answering their phone for? I have no problem with them saying they don’t want to talk to me, but why answer when you know before you answer that you can’t talk? The likelihood of having an emergency phone call from a number you don’t know is pretty slim. Emergency phone calls at all are pretty rare.

If someone is with me and they kept checking their phone, I’d call them on it. Ask them if they wanted to get together another time, as I have better things to do than sit around while they play with their phone. Thankfully none of my family or friends seem as connected to their phones as many people are. If they can’t talk, they don’t answer.

 

[altms]

2 weekends ago I was at a burger stall, and this dude was on his phone while his burgers were being prepared. The lady asked him twice, mayonnaise? He just handed her the money without answering the lady’s question and kept on talking. Confused, the lady assumed that was a no and packed it up. That was extremely rude, I wished I could snatch away his phone.

Then this other day, I dropped off a bus and met an old schoolmate, who happened to be on his phone. He acknowledged me with a handshake, so I waited for him to hang up so we could catch up. I waited…and waited…No end. I just waved and walked away, and he waved back also!

I’ve been guilty of thise offences in prayer rooms though, I remember people turning and frowning at me in a small chapel…So I shortened my prayer and hurried up as the phone went off again!

I’ve said this a lot that we really need to be wary of how we use our phones, we literally worship them nowadays.

 

[SwizzleStick]

It’s so amazing the human race didn’t die off before cell phones.

Mine is on vibrate if on at all anytime I am anywhere other than home or work.

It’s primarily for outgoing calls. I’m old fashioned and still have a landline with an answering machine.

I’d say if the person is with you by choice as in a coffee and cake group in your home the person should not actively engage in texting or calling but it wouldn’t be rude to check in on somone or something if need be after leaving the table or area.

Cell phones must be powered off during mass and our priest, a good hearted man, has stated this during homily. Nothing more annoying during Mass than a phone going off. This is why they have a vibrate mode if one must have it on.

I generally only use my phone for outgoing calls. My teens do text me now and then too, they usually don’t call, but I may not get the text for a few days. Hubby and I also still have a landline with an answering machine.

People are a little loopy about their electronic devices. I have a recent example from my own life that came immediately to mind. Hubby’s extended family got together a few months ago for a holiday and we ended up watching a favorite movie together in the evening at the end of the day. With the exception of members of my own family, each person in the room watching the movie sat with a device in his/her lap. Each person’s attention was divided between the movie, family interaction and the device. Guess which received the most atttention? They were checking the weather, texts, Facebook, Twitter, quotes from the movies, actors in the movie, the news, blah, blah, blah and sharing all during the movie. They couldn’t be without their devices long enough to just watch a movie. I found it odd. And rude.

 

[Rose71]

I think a lot of people need reminding that cell phones and other gadgets are supposed to be there to serve us…not become our masters!

I think if there is a possibility of an important call or text, it’s fine to say (if you were having a meal or a drink with friends) ‘I’m expecting a really important call - so please excuse me if I have to answer my phone’. Furthermore, if they do get the call, they should leave the table, go outside and have their conversation in private.

What I find incredibly rude is people who send texts and tweets and even take pictures of the food and post it onto social networking sites.

I don’t know how some people survived without i-phones either! I was at a talk recently in the evening, where the speaker was at the top of his field and I was astounded that some adults were messing with their i-phones throughout!

Having said that, I also withdrew from facebook because some people did nothing but post up pictures of their meals and even pictures of the glass of wine they intended to drink later…along with political messages that they hadn’t even written themselves.

 

[coachdennis]

My rule of thumb goes back to those ancient days before cellphones and had only landlines:

People in the room with you take priority over the phone ringing.

The person who is calling you up is “interrupting” your interaction with the people you are with. You are under no obligation to pick up the phone, That is why God gave us the intellect to create answering machines.

If we are home and it is just us, we will answer the phone but not during mealtime – again, answering machines. When we have guests, they take priority over phone calls – gain answering machines.

What about guests who want to text or cling to their phones? If they are over 18 and adult, we ask them to respect our rules and if they can’t, please leave. With minors, if they continue to use their phones after we ask them to not to use them, we take the phone away and put it in a drawer and tell them they can have it back when they leave. If they or their parents object, we tell them they are always welcomed to leave.

We have never had anyone leave. They have obeyed our house rules.

Now, as far as emergencies go – if we know there is someone in the hospital or sick we do answer the phone. But again, for us, an emergency involves loss of blood, body parts, or possible loss of life. It does not include breakups, I can’t find “x” in the fridge, or “I miss you”.

 

[maryjk]

How do other people feel about cell phone usage. Just one thing to note, I am taking about non-emergency calls.

Angie

Like VivienneJ said, sometimes you don’t know that it is an emergency until you answer.

Am I attached to my cell phone? No. In fact, I think in the past year I have sent a text, twice.

Do I answer ever single call, right when it comes in? No.

Are there people that call, that I answer, no matter what? Yes. Most of those people are family, but some are very close friends. Yes, I step outside of Mass to talk to them. I would interrupt my conversation with a person to answer their call. Why? Because I don’t know if they are calling due to an emergency and they are important enough to me to give them a moment of my time.

 

[Anglewannabe]

So, how, without answering, would you know the call was not an emergency call?
.

What I was thinking was times like if a woman is 8 and 1/2 months pregnant, and the husband is out, of course he would check the cell phone. Or if you know that your employees are working and you are on call.

But yes, if it is an out of the blue emergency, you would not know. But then again neither would I because I don’t have a cell

 

[SwizzleStick]

…People in the room with you take priority over the phone ringing. …

I agree with your entire post, but this is most important to me. The cell phone has allowed people to become very rude to one another.

 

[SwizzleStick]

Hi Everyone,

I am just wondering how others feel about cell phone etiquette. For example, if someone is sitting by themselves at a coffee shop, I see no problem with them texting. However, I sometimes wonder where the line is between people needing their messages and people being rude.

A while ago I was at coffee with someone who kept checking their phone. They were actually checking the time because they had paid for parking and wanted to move their car before they got a ticket. I find that reasonable and no different than checking a watch. Also after 2-3 times of checking they told me they were checking because their parking meter was running out.

However, there are other times I find it plain rude. Like when I have a supper party and someone takes out the cell at the table. Or once I was even in a bible study/sharing group and one lady answered her cell phone.

I have always been of the mind set if I am going out, people can leave a message since if I take the time to go to bible study, it is to participate in the bible study and anyone who wants to call me can leave a message.

How do other people feel about cell phone usage. Just one thing to note, I am taking about non-emergency calls.

Angie

I am posting on this thread completely out of order, but I agree with you on the above.

 

[John_Lazarus]

I will admit that I generally check my cell if I notice it buzzing (it is invariably on vibrate). The only people who know my cell number are people like my elderly parents, my job, etc. If my phone goes off, 9/10 times it’s important. Generally the only times it isn’t is when it’s an annoying outbound telemarketer.

Thing is, I usually just check to see who it is (yay, call display). My voicemail also has a voice-to-text feature so I can glance at the message without having to listen to it.

And I’ll always ask, “Do you mind if I check my phone?” Again, my and Donna’s parents are elderly and not in great health; Donna only calls me if it’s important, otherwise she texts; it may be my job. Each of those are generally judged in decreasing order of urgency.

OTOH, when I’m at my job, I ignore my phone, period – Donna and my folks have the contact number for my floor manager in case of emergency. If I’m in a movie theatre, if it’s important, I’ll take it outside – usually, Donna tells her parents and I tell mine if we go to a movie, so they generally know not to call unless it’s urgent.

It’s a balancing act. You try not to be rude to people you are with, but it may be an emergency.

 

[JackieMom]

When I am out of the house, it means my four kids are with my husband or a babysitter. And yep, I check texts and take calls from them. I do think it’s rude to carry on an unnecessary conversation when you are visiting with someone else, but when I’m away from my kids I need to be in touch with whoever is caring for them

 

[Anglewannabe]

When I am out of the house, it means my four kids are with my husband or a babysitter. And yep, I check texts and take calls from them. I do think it’s rude to carry on an unnecessary conversation when you are visiting with someone else, but when I’m away from my kids I need to be in touch with whoever is caring for them

I understand that, especially if the kids are young. However, when I was a kid and my mom worked, I had the number but I also had strict instructions not to call just to say ‘hi’

 

[VivienneJ]

I agree with your entire post, but this is most important to me. The cell phone has allowed people to become very rude to one another.

True, but it has also made being far from home and loved ones a lot easier.

I am able to pray for the grandchild being rushed to the doctor with a suspected fractured collar bone; or the daughter experiencing an allergic reaction to penicillin; or the son-in-law on an emergency 3 hour trip, hoping to see his dying father (and the dying father); and many other ‘emergency’ situations that have arisen over the past six years…not to mention all the daily happy contact we are able to have.

 

[maryjk]

But yes, if it is an out of the blue emergency, you would not know. But then again neither would I because I don’t have a cell

But some of us don’t think we should have to give up that knowledge. Why, if we have a cell phone and someone has the ability to call us?

True, but it has also made being far from home and loved ones a lot easier.

I am able to pray for the grandchild being rushed to the doctor with a suspected fractured collar bone; or the daughter experiencing an allergic reaction to penicillin; or the son-in-law on an emergency 3 hour trip, hoping to see his dying father (and the dying father); and many other ‘emergency’ situations that have arisen over the past six years…not to mention all the daily happy contact we are able to have.

That is what I was thinking. Years ago, when my grandmother was dying, we traveled about 350 miles to see her. We found out when we got there, that she had died just after we left.

When my father was dying, the hospital had my cell phone. Now he lived close, but I got updates all of the time. And I was able to be with him for his last hours here on earth.

When my nephew broke his arm, I was aware. When my niece landed at the airport and was on her way to my house, I got a call. When my son got dropped of at our house and made it safely inside, I knew.

Yes, cell phones can be a distraction but that doesn’t mean we should turn them off and throw them in a drawer.

 

[ThyKingdomCome]

Like VivienneJ said, sometimes you don’t know that it is an emergency until you answer.

Nowadays, it is very unusual for a person to not have a phone with caller ID. ANYONE can have an emergency, but only a small number of people actually NEED to reach YOU in an emergency. Unless you are a priest, or an emergency worker of some sort that is on call (doctor/police/etc.), you only need to be totally accessible for those people for your immediate family, and in some situations, for another person who you are responsible for.

So if I am out in the evening, and my husband calls, I am likely to take it, because it could be an emergency with my kids. Of course it helps that he doesn’t call unless he has to, especially when he knows I am going to be socializing with friends - he also considers it rude to be interrupted with a cell phone, so I know that if he is calling, it’s because he really needs to talk. Otherwise, I wouldn’t interrupt a conversation to take a call unless it is someone who is watching my kids.

Again though, everyone who has my cell phone number understands that I don’t use it for casual conversation, and that if I am out somewhere, I am unavailable to talk for anything other than urgent matters. Even my cell phone voice mail has a message that says that if it is an important message to leave it on my home phone, to discourage people from thinking that they can use my cell phone as a primary way to contact me. Most people who have “emergency priority” need to especially respect that. If they are to expect me to take their calls asap, then they need to not call for trivial reasons when they know I am doing something important.

If a person is truly worried about missing an emergency, they can let their messages go to voice mail, and excuse themselves in the middle of their social engagement and go check their messages privately. But the idea that any call could be important, sends the message to the person who has cleared their schedule to be with you that all the things they said no to are less important.

 

[maryjk]

Nowadays, it is very unusual for a person to not have a phone with caller ID. ANYONE can have an emergency, but only a small number of people actually NEED to reach YOU in an emergency. Unless you are a priest, or an emergency worker of some sort that is on call (doctor/police/etc.), you only need to be totally accessible for those people for your immediate family, and in some situations, for another person who you are responsible for.

Which is why I said “sometimes.”

I have about half a dozen people that I will answer every time they call. My husband, my son, my sister (her kids), my unofficial adopted parents and a young lady that counts on me for moral support.

But every time they call, I answer. It might be a very short conversation, “Hi, dear son. Is it an emergency?” “No, Mom.” “Good I’ll call you back.”

Everyone else? They go to voice mail.

 

[Anglewannabe]

But some of us don’t think we should have to give up that knowledge. Why, if we have a cell phone and someone has the ability to call us?

.

I understand the reason someone pays for a cell phone is because they want to be contacted. And I can respect that. But it is like someone else said, the polite way is to excuse yourself first and then step aside and take the call.

However, if someone is ALWAYS taking calls, I have trouble believing it is important. If someone is taking calls once in a while, that is understandable.

I remember working with a girl (before cell phones were common). Her husband called practically every hour to say things like ‘I have a tummy ache do you think I am pregnant’

We were in a business meeting and someone interrupted the meeting to tell her ‘your husband is on the phone’. She ran out of the meeting to tell her husband she would call him back and for the rest of the meeting her thoughts were elsewhere and she kept repeating ‘I hope my hubby doesn’t think I am rude’. Well… it is like the boy who cried wolf, from that time on I could not believe any call from her husband could be important.