Cell Phone Etiquette

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I don’t work in retail, but people who use their phones while shopping aggravate me on behalf of all those who do. Specifically, people will be talking on their phones while a cashier is trying to talk to them… that is SO RUDE!
That is my only beef with cell phones, I agree it’s rude. If my phone rings, and i’m in the checkout line, I’ll let it go to voice mail.

No wait, another beef with cell phones, you’re in the fast lane on the interstate and come up to a slow moving car, you move over and see they are on their phone. I’m guilty as charged when it comes to driving and talking, but for crying out loud, you don’t need to slow down, especially in the fast lane, to accomplish it!
 
Hi Everyone,

I am just wondering how others feel about cell phone etiquette. For example, if someone is sitting by themselves at a coffee shop, I see no problem with them texting. However, I sometimes wonder where the line is between people needing their messages and people being rude.

A while ago I was at coffee with someone who kept checking their phone. They were actually checking the time because they had paid for parking and wanted to move their car before they got a ticket. I find that reasonable and no different than checking a watch. Also after 2-3 times of checking they told me they were checking because their parking meter was running out.

However, there are other times I find it plain rude. Like when I have a supper party and someone takes out the cell at the table. Or once I was even in a bible study/sharing group and one lady answered her cell phone.

I have always been of the mind set if I am going out, people can leave a message since if I take the time to go to bible study, it is to participate in the bible study and anyone who wants to call me can leave a message.

How do other people feel about cell phone usage. Just one thing to note, I am taking about non-emergency calls.

Angie
I think it is rude to be on your phone when you are at dinner or what have you. I have been to parties and there was a basket at the front door to place your phones in. The hosts wanted us to spend time with the people there not on our twitter or facebook accounts. lol.
I was at my Easter Vigil practice and answered my phone. I did walk out after answering it. My husband was deployed at the time and I had not heard his voice in over 2 weeks. It wasn’t an emergency. I knew it wasn’t an emergency. If something happened to him it wouldn’t be him calling me. I’m sure some people thought it was rude. That’s for them to worry about.
 
…No wait, another beef with cell phones, you’re in the fast lane on the interstate and come up to a slow moving car, you move over and see they are on their phone. I’m guilty as charged when it comes to driving and talking, but for crying out loud, you don’t need to slow down, especially in the fast lane, to accomplish it!
That isn’t just rude. That is dangerous. The studies show that even talking on a hands-free device is distracting enough to make a difference in the crash statistics, but doing anything that requires the use of your hands is that much worse.

Check the laws every time you cross state lines, because more and more states are outlawing both hands-on and even hands-free cell phone use. If you don’t have an ambulance crew or some fire fighters on the other end of the line when the cop pulls you over, it will get expensive for you.
 
That is my only beef with cell phones, I agree it’s rude. If my phone rings, and i’m in the checkout line, I’ll let it go to voice mail.

No wait, another beef with cell phones, you’re in the fast lane on the interstate and come up to a slow moving car, you move over and see they are on their phone. I’m guilty as charged when it comes to driving and talking, but for crying out loud, you don’t need to slow down, especially in the fast lane, to accomplish it!
Texting has replaced mere talking, WAY worse. Like being completely drunk or on drugs, you aren’t seeing what’s in front of you or paying enough attention to drive, even on a street, let alone a highway.
 
Texting has replaced mere talking, WAY worse. Like being completely drunk or on drugs, you aren’t seeing what’s in front of you or paying enough attention to drive, even on a street, let alone a highway.
It is hard to do, but our travel estimates now need to include time to pull over and make a phone call or read a text, if it becomes necessary.

Still, I was taking a carload of kids to a baseball game, got a cell phone call, and took the next exit to return the call. The message was that the game was cancelled. We turned around, and being able to return a cell phone call saved us an hour of travel time. It would have been tragic, however, if news of that cancellation had gotten us into a crash. It would have been better to waste the hour of travel time, by far.
 
That isn’t just rude. That is dangerous. The studies show that even talking on a hands-free device is distracting enough to make a difference in the crash statistics, but doing anything that requires the use of your hands is that much worse.

Check the laws every time you cross state lines, because more and more states are outlawing both hands-on and even hands-free cell phone use. If you don’t have an ambulance crew or some fire fighters on the other end of the line when the cop pulls you over, it will get expensive for you.
In Iowa, texting and driving is a secondary offense, meaning you have to be pulled over for speeding, running a red light, etc. to be charged with texting and driving. If you are going to ban talking on your phone while driving, you might as well ban the car radio, screaming kids in the back seat, carrying on a conversation with your spouse in the front seat, drinking that morning pop while on your way to work, driving with the window down and your left hand hanging out the window, etc.

The over zealous safety freaks will never get rid of distracted driving.
 
In Iowa, texting and driving is a secondary offense, meaning you have to be pulled over for speeding, running a red light, etc. to be charged with texting and driving. If you are going to ban talking on your phone while driving, you might as well ban the car radio, screaming kids in the back seat, carrying on a conversation with your spouse in the front seat, drinking that morning pop while on your way to work, driving with the window down and your left hand hanging out the window, etc.

The over zealous safety freaks will never get rid of distracted driving.
You are right:

“The Transportation Safety Group at the National Safety Council found that distracted drivers account for nearly 80 percent of car crashes. A survey conducted by Nationwide Mutual Insurance Company reported that older drivers are more likely than teens to multitask while driving. Experts believe that this may because adults have more responsibilities to juggle and feel that they have enough driving experience to avoid automobile accidents on the road.”
edgarsnyder.com/blog/cell-phone-driving.html

According to the USDOT:
“Distracted driving is a dangerous epidemic on America’s roadways. In 2011 alone, over 3,000 people were killed in distracted driving crashes.”
and
"Distracted driving is any activity that could divert a person’s attention away from the primary task of driving. All distractions endanger driver, passenger, and bystander safety. These types of distractions include:

•Texting
•Using a cell phone or smartphone
•Eating and drinking
•Talking to passengers
•Grooming
•Reading, including maps
•Using a navigation system
•Watching a video
•Adjusting a radio, CD player, or MP3 player

But, because text messaging requires visual, manual, and cognitive attention from the driver, it is by far the most alarming distraction."
and
“Drivers who use hand-held devices are 4 times more likely to get into crashes serious enough to injure themselves. (Monash University)”
and
“Text messaging creates a crash risk 23 times worse than driving while not distracted. (VTTI)”
and
“Sending or receiving a text takes a driver’s eyes from the road for an average of 4.6 seconds, the equivalent-at 55 mph-of driving the length of an entire football field, blind. (VTTI)”
and
“Driving while using a cell phone reduces the amount of brain activity associated with driving by 37%. (Carnegie Mellon)”
distraction.gov/content/get-the-facts/facts-and-statistics.html

So, as much as I dislike hearing people have loud cell phone conversations in a restaurant, I would far rather they do it there than while they’re driving. It is better to be rude than to be dangerous.

I have not seen drinking while driving vanish in my lifetime, but I have seen it go from a “boys will be boys” problem to what is widely viewed as a very selfish and foolish decision that could get an innocent person killed. It might be that we could see, in our lifetime, the attitude that nothing is more important while you’re driving than…driving. What a concept!!

(Oh, and I remember when only safety freaks thought anyone needed seatbelts. The “safety freak” laws do save lives, according to NTHSA:
"According to the reports, Lives Saved in 2009 by Restraint Use and Minimum Drinking Age Laws and Seat Belt Use in 2010 – Overall Results, the use of seat belts in 2009 saved an estimated 12,713 lives, while motorcycle helmet use prevented an additional estimated 1,483 deaths. In addition, the report estimates that between 2005 and 2009, motorcycle helmets saved 8,328 lives. The report also estimates that 623 lives were saved in 2009 by 21-year-old minimum drinking age laws, and that 309 toddlers were saved (aged 4 and under) because of child restraints. " –http://www.nhtsa.gov/PR/DOT-178-10)
 
In Iowa, texting and driving is a secondary offense, meaning you have to be pulled over for speeding, running a red light, etc. to be charged with texting and driving. If you are going to ban talking on your phone while driving, you might as well ban the car radio, screaming kids in the back seat, carrying on a conversation with your spouse in the front seat, drinking that morning pop while on your way to work, driving with the window down and your left hand hanging out the window, etc.

The over zealous safety freaks will never get rid of distracted driving.
Being alarmed at people who text while driving is not being an “over zealous safety freak.” It is entirely possible to carry on a conversation with a passenger while driving. Texting is in another category completely.
 
I have to guess that no one close to you has ever had a heart attack.

My husband had a heart attack while I was out of state. I couldn’t get back. BUT I could talk to him on the phone. On my cell phone. .
True, I have never had the experience so I don’t know what it is like. However, in the heat of the moment, I doubt the person having the heart attack can come to the phone. I understand once they are in the hospital wanting to call as soon as they are capable of answering the phone
I don’t know about you, but wouldn’t you want to at least talk to someone you loved if you thought he might die? Or are you okay will finishing your dinner out with friends? I guess, for you, ignorance is bliss. I would rather be there, in case the firemen had a question about the floor plan or if they had to make a decision about what to save, I could help with that. .
Yes, I am of the opinion ignorance is bliss. If someone was diagnosed with a fatal disease I would spend as much time as possible with them before they go. However, if it is an emergency where nothing I could do would prolong their life, I would be one to roll the dice and prefer to not know about it and miss my chance.
Because he wasn’t aware that the caller needed something.
.
In this circumstance what the caller needed was not an emergency and there was no reason to answer the call half way between a hand. He could have waited for the hand to be over and then excused himself to deal with the text.
I get the feeling that, for you, even emergencies aren’t a good reason to interrupt your evening.
Please, I was asking what constitutes an emergency to try and understand other people’s point of view. It was genuinely to be able to take other people’s feelings into consideration. But with your last statement, I semi suspect an argument is being made. That is NOT my intention. My intention is to understand. Yes, I will always find cell phones annoying, but if I can understand where the other person is coming from, I will be better equipped to be considerate
 
Being alarmed at people who text while driving is not being an “over zealous safety freak.” It is entirely possible to carry on a conversation with a passenger while driving. Texting is in another category completely.
Yes, because texting takes your eyes and your hands away from driving, on top of distracting your attention.

(Well, for some who converse in the Italian fashion, maybe there is not a lot of difference–I’ve heard that people who chat in ASL while driving are a true terror! :eek:)
 
not that this makes texting and driving ok, but some people can text without looking at their phone, which would make it slightly less dangerous than otherwise. (glancing at it to read a short text is not any worse than glancing at the person in the passenger seat while talking to them).

But yeah, that is not in any way shape or form to condone texting while driving. Unless it is absolutely essential (ie, noway to pull over and the it needs to be answered to so immediately that it can’t wait until the 5 min it’ll take to get to somewhere where you can pull over… which is an extremely rare combination) it should be avoided. Why risk it? Why make driving any more dangerous than it needs to be? Reckless endangerment of people’s lives is sinful.
 
…Unless it is absolutely essential (ie, noway to pull over and the it needs to be answered to so immediately that it can’t wait until the 5 min it’ll take to get to somewhere where you can pull over… which is an extremely rare combination) it should be avoided…
I would say that that situation doesn’t exist at all. I can’t even imagine what text would be urgent enough to require an immediate reply that put my driving in danger other than something like, “my sister is choking, should I do the heimlich?” :cool: In the case of a true texting “emergency,” you can always call that person on the phone, and at least keep your eyes on the road.
 
Hi Patrice,

I am asking this in a sincere way so please don’t think I am criticising. And I am NOT talking about your kids because in my mind that is a different issue. Let’s say a loved one (other than a kid) has a cardiac arrest while you are out with friends. I am hoping that whoever is with them will call 911 first. So, I guess what I can’t comprehend, is why would you need to know ASAP? By the time you got there, (which would be after the ambulance), what could you possibly do that couldn’t wait?

Let me explain. I bumped into a friend at a coffee shop and he told me he just got a cell. He said to me ‘Think about it, what if your house caught on fire, you could know right away.’ All I could think was by the time I got home, the house would already be burnt to the ground so I might as well enjoy my coffee and find out about it when I get home.

Speaking of cell phones going off in church. I heard a story about a guy whose cell phone went off and he step into a hallway to answer it. He was talking so loud, everyone could hear so the priest said ‘Must be a call from God;)

Lastly, the reason I brought this up is because I was at a card game and this guy right in the middle of the hand answered a text :eek: When I told him it was impolite, he told me ‘It would be more impolite to not let the person who texted me the information they needed’. All I could think was if that person needed something ASAP from you, why did you come out to play cards.:rolleyes:
To address one of your other posts, people that are having a heart attack can talk on a cell phone. My dad had a heart attack while on a business trip six hours away. He called 911 first and then called my mom to tell her the situation and get in the car and get to the hospital he was being transferred to. I missed her phone call because I had my cell phone off and she couldn’t wait for me to go with her since I couldn’t be reached. I needed to be reached because I had power of attorney for my dad. I needed to be at the hospital because the situation warranted it.

I feel like you want me to justify my reasons for having my cell phone on me in case of my child needing me OR one of my loved ones. I don’t think there is anyway for me to explain it to you so that you will actually understand why I carry and use my cell phone on occasion when out with family and friends. I am really skeptical that you want to understand other points of view. Me myself, I can’t understand why you could enjoy a cup of coffee while your house burned down. There is no way you could ever explain that to me or why you wouldn’t want to know ASAP that a love one is experiencing a medical emergency.

As my mom and my husband’s parents get older and are starting to experience more and more health issues, the cell phone goes EVERYWHERE with us. We’ve experienced medical emergencies now on both sides of our family with parents and grandparents. We absolutely needed to know in those situations ASAP.

As for your last paragraph in your comment I quoted. I too have had friends that have texted while in a social gathering. I see it completely different from you. I’d rather my friend come to the gathering and address a text if they feel its important to do so while at the gathering than to stay home and I miss being with them because of one or two texts. Its only a text, big deal, it took maybe 2 minutes or so to answer. I could get upset over 2 lousy minutes or I can choose to enjoy 178 minutes of uninterrupted social time with my friend. I guess its all how you look at it and what you let upset you.
 
I would say that that situation doesn’t exist at all. I can’t even imagine what text would be urgent enough to require an immediate reply that put my driving in danger other than something like, “my sister is choking, should I do the heimlich?” :cool: In the case of a true texting “emergency,” you can always call that person on the phone, and at least keep your eyes on the road.
Sometimes the person you need to contact can’t take a phone call.

There is a difference between the important and the urgent. I’m not saying that people shouldn’t pull over to read a text, especially since the message might be that the driver has been sent to the wrong venue and will be late in getting to the right venue if he or she doesn’t turn around immediately. Still, even turning around has to wait for the next exit–let alone giving a verbal description of how to do the Heimlich maneuver!!

Being polite, however, means not classifying too many things as more urgent than the party you are with. You can’t have a decent civilization if no one who wants to hurry ever has to wait.
 
I never answer my phone when at the table or somewhere where my attention is required (church or job), but I also change my voice mail so that people know why I’m not answering. I have a different voice mail for church, meals, movies or other date-type things, and job. This helps because after people hear the voice mail they generally only call back if it is an emergency.
 
Yes, because texting takes your eyes and your hands away from driving, on top of distracting your attention.

(Well, for some who converse in the Italian fashion, maybe there is not a lot of difference–I’ve heard that people who chat in ASL while driving are a true terror! :eek:)
It basically removes you from driving and puts you doing another activity, while still being behind the wheel. Ultra-dangerous.
 
Nothing rude about texting on the phone if you’re alone somewhere. I do think it’s rude to talk on the phone in line or in a waiting room, or anywhere where others can here you. No one wants to hear your conversation.

Now, I do think it’s incredibly rude to text or play on your phone if you’re eating or socializing with others. I saw something once where everyone stacked their phones in the center of the table before dinner. First person to grab their phone to answer it/check it pays the tab for the table. I thought that was funny.

If I have to take a call in a restaurant, I will quickly answer to say “Hi, sorry but I’m eating dinner, I’ll call you back.” or not answer and text quickly “I’m eating, call you when I’m done” and then put my phone away. If I have to take it, I step outside.

I think even ruder than texting during dinner, is texting during presentations or when someone is speaking. I’ve had to attend in-service when teaching, and it’s amazing how many teachers play around on their phones while someone is speaking. Completely obnoxious and they should know better.

My mother in law texts and checks her phone while people are talking and I can tell she’s not listening and I think it’s so rude. Actually she’s gotten better about it. I don’t think I’ve seen her do it in a while.

I used to work in a more affluent area than I do now (now I work in a rural area). I had people (more than once) shush me when I brought their food to them when they were talking on their phone. When someone did that to me, I gave them their food, and walked away without a word, no thank you or anything. And I did not check back on them. If someone treats me like an annoying pest, they’re not going to get service from me.

I’ve worked in the rural area for a year and a half now and can’t remember anyone doing that to me here. The blue collar customers seem to remember that I’m actually a human being, not a robot that exists to serve their needs.
 
Sometimes the person you need to contact can’t take a phone call.
How could that possibly be true? If you have a true emergency, and it is important enough that you desperately need to a response from a person RIGHT NOW, and not in a minute when they pull off the road, I’m thinking they’d be able to take the call. After all, you’d have to balance the risk to the lives of the people on the road with the life of the person in the emergency. Seriously - a person in an emergency would inconvenience someone else with a text or call, but NOT be willing to take the return call? The only possible situation I could see is a hostage situation, in which case, a call to 911 from the recipient of the text would be more prudent than some back and forth texting while driving - is that really the scenario that is being referred to here?
 
How could that possibly be true? If you have a true emergency, and it is important enough that you need to get through to a person RIGHT NOW, and not in a minute when they pull off the road, I’m thinking they’d be able to take the call. After all, you’d have to balance the risk to the lives of the people on the road with the life of the person in the emergency. Seriously - a person in an emergency would inconvenience someone else with a text or call, but NOT be willing to take the return call? The only possible situation I could see is a hostage situation, in which case, a call to 911 from the recipient of the text would be more prudent than some back and forth texting while driving - is that really the scenario that is being referred to here?
No, no, I am talking about why you’d pull the car over to check a text message, instead of finishing that leg of your trip before even looking at the thing.

I didn’t mean the person texting was driving, and I did say that the person who is driving ought to pull over to check if they get a signal that they got a text message. I mean the sender is pinned down somewhere that they cannot leave and they cannot talk out loud.

Again–we’re not talking messages of life and death importance, but we are talking about urgent messages. For instance, the last speaker at a conference texts “This is going way over. Can you turn around and get Kelly to the airport?” Kelly is not going to die if she misses her plane to New York, but if the driver pulls over, gets the text, and changes course, then Kelly does not have to miss her plane at all. Most of us do not mind if our dinner partner has to dash off so that her daughter won’t miss the class trip to DC because her dad couldn’t get the young lady to the airport.
…I think even ruder than texting during dinner, is texting during presentations or when someone is speaking. I’ve had to attend in-service when teaching, and it’s amazing how many teachers play around on their phones while someone is speaking. Completely obnoxious and they should know better…
Generally speaking, yes, but if the moderator isn’t staying on schedule, the speakers should not be surprised to see people in the audience madly texting the people they’re going to have to stand up in order to hear the end of their talk.

Again, though, this is fairly rare. Most of the time, maybe you check your texts occasionally, but you usually don’t have to answer any of them right that second. If your phone buzzes you in a restaurant, you can let the phone kick to voicemail, explaining meanwhile whose number it is and why you’d better listen to see what the problem is, excuse yourself to listen to the message quietly, and let it go if is not truly urgent–repeating your apology for the interruption. Even if it is important, if it is not urgent, it can wait.

Mind you, I am one of those people who has never texted in her life and forgets her cell phone 2/3 of the time. I’m just saying what I find acceptable among “texters” and what I think is being too tethered to the media to attend to the person in front of you…where that line is. I don’t mind them checking, if there is something urgent that is a real possibility, I don’t even mind if it is often, but I really appreciate when they say, “There. Now I can put that away. Sorry about that. Now, where were we?”
 
I feel like you want me to justify my reasons for having my cell phone on me in case of my child needing me OR one of my loved ones. I don’t think there is anyway for me to explain it to you so that you will actually understand why I carry and use my cell phone on occasion when out with family and friends. I am really skeptical that you want to understand other points of view. Me myself, I can’t understand why you could enjoy a cup of coffee while your house burned down. There is no way you could ever explain that to me or why you wouldn’t want to know ASAP that a love one is experiencing a medical emergency.
I am sorry if I have offended you. That was not my intention.
As for your last paragraph in your comment I quoted. I too have had friends that have texted while in a social gathering. I see it completely different from you. I’d rather my friend come to the gathering and address a text if they feel its important to do so while at the gathering than to stay home and I miss being with them because of one or two texts. Its only a text, big deal, it took maybe 2 minutes or so to answer. I could get upset over 2 lousy minutes or I can choose to enjoy 178 minutes of uninterrupted social time with my friend. I guess its all how you look at it and what you let upset you.
If the man had waited for the hand to be finished and excused himself, I would not mind the 2 minutes he took. However, he was semi expecting the call (because he told me what it was about). And it was something that could wait for the hand to be finished. So it how he went about it, not the 2 minutes.
 
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