Certain personal sexual sins

[tvdxer]

I’ve seen a lot of threads here and elsewhere about personal struggles with masturbation, pornography, and impure thoughts. Considering our fallen nature, the fact that so many are addicted to these things is not immediately surprising, but something leaves me curious:

Were they aware of the sinfulness of these actions, or at least trying to live a Catholic life, when they started performing in them and thereby became addicted to them?

For example, I learned that masturbation was a mortal sin when I was 11 years old (kids on the bus were talking about it, and in a classroom I happened to be flipping through the CCC and was amazed to see it in the index!), so that never was a problem for me because I never got into it. But as for those addicted to it (or other sexual sins), did they know it was a sin when they began? It seems like many of these habits might be formed during a time of ignorance (due to poor catechesis) or non-practice.

 

[06convert]

Yes. I fell into the trap before I knew it was a sin. I didn’t become Catholic until 2006, before then I was unbaptized, non-religion, and very “secular”. By the time I converted I was already 23.

Before I knew the truth I thought pre-maritial sex, pornography, and masturbation were perfectly healthy and normal activities. Just like the secular culture taught me.

I’m sure that there are many people that are unaware of the sin and have already formed addictions to these things.

God willing they will see the truth, but it will be a very long hard struggle to break these addictions. The devil loves to keep us slaves of sin.

 

[StCsDavid]

As a cradle Catholic, I was told such things were sinful, but never by my parents, and it was never explained to me why such things were harmful. This is not to blame Mom and Dad. In those days, parents didn’t do a great job talking to kids about sex. Then, too, I never asked. It wasn’t until I discovered JPII’s Theology of the Body about six years ago that I truly understood all the good reasons to stay pure.

 

[rowermath]

I, too, fell into a similar trap. I don’t quite understand why or how, but I know that I did. I was about 11 as well when I began to learn the gravity of it. However, that was already too late. I work hard every day to keep away from my temptation, but occaisionally, I still fall. That is the difficulty with addiction.

 

[The_Otaku]

I can directly link any sexual sins I have committed to a fetish(s) that I have. For those of you, if any who are reading this, have a fetish, have had a fetish, then you know what an extra burden it is to resist in addition to simply knowing it’s wrong and avoiding it for moral, spiritual reasons and so forth.

Growing up, I wouldn’t even say I thought about masturbation or sexual sins. None of this was an issue until I was about 18. The sad part is, my primary fetish had been developing years before that, while I was probably as young as 12 or maybe younger. By the time I had went through puberty, the fetish went from thoughts to needing an action, and pornography, particularly fetish pornography is what got me started. What also made it worse was at that time, I was ignorant, and honestly did not know that masturbation was a mortal sin.

I highly suspect there are others like me who just heard about it, and wanted to try it purely out of curiousity. It’s not as if we all just decided one day to ‘whip it out’, you know? These things are gradual, and all through the process of experimentation, I didn’t know it was a sin at all, much less a mortal sin. As for the fetish, it’s been with me since childhood, and unlike the masturbation, I didn’t need an introduction. Eventually, when I was able to sexually release through masturbation, I thought it was even more natural, seeing as how the fetish was natural.

It wasn’t until I was in my early 20’s that I learned that masturbation was a sin. I’m glad I did, if not only for the simple reason of needing a reason to see what I was doing as sinful. I still struggle with this sin, like most guys my age, and like most guys, it’s a habit. But at least we’re better off and can hold ourselves accountable whereas being ignorant we could not or would not. With our eyes open to the reality of what happens when you misuse your sexual powers in this way, we’re in a better overall position to use that knowledge for the better and to help others do the same.

I only wish the Church would speak out on fetishes and the nature of the sin involved in having them which are not acquired through consent or desire, or by exposure to pornography, etc. Fetishes created in a person’s mind in this way are their own fault, because they exposed themselves to it knowing something like that could very well happen. But what about people like me? People where their fetishes just developed on their own usually at an early age, without any say so on the part of the person?

I can only take it that this is one of my crosses to bear in this life, a very unique cross, and that this constant mental temptation is what’s going to earn me graces and blessings and who knows, maybe make me a saint someday. I can see it now- St. Damien, patron saint of fetishes

 

[Neithan]

I had no idea that masturbation was ‘wrong’ or ‘sinful’ when I first discovered it at the age of 11. Strangely though, I always had a feeling of guilt, that somehow it was wrong, even though nobody had ever told me that. Internet pornography I discovered less than a year later (I was 12), and the devil had his hooks in already.

I was baptised and raised a Lutheran, so when I decided to take the feelings of guilt seriously in my teenage years, I searched my church for moral understanding, but was disappointed. For one thing, Luther believed and taught that we are compelled to sin because of our sinful nature, and we cannot do otherwise. So this theology of despair wormed its way into my unconscience (portmanteau intended). Official teachings of the “Lutheran Church” were impossible to find because there is no “Lutheran Church”; there are many different Lutheran ecclesial bodies under that name. Some said that it was sinful, others (including my own) said that it was not. Nevertheless, even if it was sinful, I couldn’t do anything about it but be guilty, and thank God that Jesus died for me so that my sin didn’t matter. That’s how Lutheranism handles sin: believe in Christ, and it doesn’t really matter. Well, faith without works is dead, as the Bible clearly says (James 2:26; Luther didn’t like James).

My conversion to the Catholic Church was motivated in many ways, but one was definitely clear, insightful, *good *moral doctrine that so attracted me. Here was the answer I had sought in vain in my Lutheran wanderings as a youth: masturbation is a grave sin, instrinsically disordered. I knew that, and I can’t explain the relief I felt when I found my intuition so authoritatively confirmed. What to do about it? Stop! How? Grace in the sacraments. Wow, I was blown away; here was a promise: God wouldn’t just cover my sinful nature with the blood of Christ, He would actually purify it. Make me anew. The promise of my Baptism finally realized. Sin matters, but Christ gives us the means to overcome sin and death. So I converted, because I was tired of wallowing in guilt and disappointed with a lifeless faith. I wanted to be liberated from my sins.

Thanks for your question!

 

[Celtic_FC]

I can directly link any sexual sins I have committed to a fetish(s) that I have. For those of you, if any who are reading this, have a fetish, have had a fetish, then you know what an extra burden it is to resist in addition to simply knowing it’s wrong and avoiding it for moral, spiritual reasons and so forth.

Growing up, I wouldn’t even say I thought about masturbation or sexual sins. None of this was an issue until I was about 18. The sad part is, my primary fetish had been developing years before that, while I was probably as young as 12 or maybe younger. By the time I had went through puberty, the fetish went from thoughts to needing an action, and pornography, particularly fetish pornography is what got me started. What also made it worse was at that time, I was ignorant, and honestly did not know that masturbation was a mortal sin.

I highly suspect there are others like me who just heard about it, and wanted to try it purely out of curiousity. It’s not as if we all just decided one day to ‘whip it out’, you know? These things are gradual, and all through the process of experimentation, I didn’t know it was a sin at all, much less a mortal sin. As for the fetish, it’s been with me since childhood, and unlike the masturbation, I didn’t need an introduction. Eventually, when I was able to sexually release through masturbation, I thought it was even more natural, seeing as how the fetish was natural.

It wasn’t until I was in my early 20’s that I learned that masturbation was a sin. I’m glad I did, if not only for the simple reason of needing a reason to see what I was doing as sinful. I still struggle with this sin, like most guys my age, and like most guys, it’s a habit. But at least we’re better off and can hold ourselves accountable whereas being ignorant we could not or would not. With our eyes open to the reality of what happens when you misuse your sexual powers in this way, we’re in a better overall position to use that knowledge for the better and to help others do the same.

I only wish the Church would speak out on fetishes and the nature of the sin involved in having them which are not acquired through consent or desire, or by exposure to pornography, etc. Fetishes created in a person’s mind in this way are their own fault, because they exposed themselves to it knowing something like that could very well happen. But what about people like me? People where their fetishes just developed on their own usually at an early age, without any say so on the part of the person?

I can only take it that this is one of my crosses to bear in this life, a very unique cross, and that this constant mental temptation is what’s going to earn me graces and blessings and who knows, maybe make me a saint someday. I can see it now- St. Damien, patron saint of fetishes

I’m with you on the fetish.

 

[graceandglory]

But as for those addicted to it (or other sexual sins), did they now it was a sin when they began? It seems like many of these habits might be formed during a time of ignorance (due to poor catechesis) or non-practice.

I can speak for sola scriptura evangelical protestant types. It is taught that it is normal and a “release” of sexual energy. Dr. James Dobson promotes it in his book Preparing for Adolescence that parents are to share with their children. Children are taught in the book not to feel guilty about it.
socrates58.blogspot.com/2004/03/dr-james-dobson-sanctions-masturbation.html

Guilty? DUH!!! We received the knowledge of feeling guilty/ashamed when Adam and Eve ate from the tree of knowledge of good and evil.
(“if our heart condemns us…”)

As a young adult who was very active in my college/career fellowship group of faithful protestant christians, I was aware that many people dealt with that sin. They knew in their hearts that it was a sin…and an addiction…but it wasn’t in the bible, so they didn’t know what to do about it.

 

[wjp984]

I was taught that it was normal for teenagers and therefore not a sin. The priests I knew shared this opinion. I never met a priest who said this was a mortal sin until I was 21. So ya, I would agree that society is taught that these things are alright and there is poor catechism and therefore it is an astonomical task to later refrain from these sins.

 

[Pug]

Were they aware of the sinfulness of these actions, or at least trying to live a Catholic life, when they started performing in them and thereby became addicted to them?

Some were, some weren’t, I imagine. Given that the behavior is likely discovered and tried while alone, probably it is tried before the parent has taught the child what the word even means. That is, they do it before they have learned what it is, much less that it is sinful. I suppose it depends on the parents and what educational circumstances happen to arise. It is likely different for people younger than myself. Maybe the school teaches you those words as a child, I don’t know. If so, the school is probably teaching the child that it is good and not a sin.

Right and wrong were such odd concepts as a child. It is always strange to look back and try to unravel how I thought back then. I had no framework to understand lots of things until I was an adult.