Challenging Questions to All, Please Help!

[ibncahira]

Greetings to everyone, I am new here.
I have just started over in life and I desire to become confirmed. I am 30, twice divorced, and Catholic.

Though I have always considered myself Catholic, I knew that I had never been confirmed and I just found out that I have never been baptized in the Church (my mother performed the rite herself at home). What a surprise for me!

I read that if the baptism had been performed with the correct wording, I am considered baptized. However, I need to know:

1. How do go about being recognized as baptized? (if possible)
2. What is the best way to become confirmed?
3. Can I initiate my annulments of my divorces now?

My previous marriages were by a Protestant church (the ex spouse is deceased), and the last marriage was by justice of peace. I believe I can be granted annulments in both cases.

My HUGE problem: I want to set my life in this direction as properly as possible, but I am active duty in the military. Becoming a legitimate Catholic is a priority to me! However, I have been unable to even attempt adult confirmation classes because I am deployed constantly and I work horrible hours when I am home. I take college classes online, and I was wondering if there were any online programs available for adult confirmation. I am secure in the teachings of the faith and I have practiced as a Catholic (without communion) for my whole life.

I appreciate all advice and (name removed by moderator)ut!

 

[Just_1_hr_a_wk]

Greetings to everyone, I am new here.
I have just started over in life and I desire to become confirmed. I am 30, twice divorced, and Catholic.

Though I have always considered myself Catholic, I knew that I had never been confirmed and I just found out that I have never been baptized in the Church (my mother performed the rite herself at home). What a surprise for me!

I read that if the baptism had been performed with the correct wording, I am considered baptized. However, I need to know:

1. How do go about being recognized as baptized? (if possible)
2. What is the best way to become confirmed?
3. Can I initiate my annulments of my divorces now?

My previous marriages were by a Protestant church (the ex spouse is deceased), and the last marriage was by justice of peace. I believe I can be granted annulments in both cases.

My HUGE problem: I want to set my life in this direction as properly as possible, but I am active duty in the military. Becoming a legitimate Catholic is a priority to me! However, I have been unable to even attempt adult confirmation classes because I am deployed constantly and I work horrible hours when I am home. I take college classes online, and I was wondering if there were any online programs available for adult confirmation. I am secure in the teachings of the faith and I have practiced as a Catholic (without communion) for my whole life.

I appreciate all advice and (name removed by moderator)ut!

Why would you need an annulment from the spouse who died?

Have you spoken to any priests about this (either military chaplain or parish level? You may be able to get tested for how much you need to do yet and perhaps arrange some kind of private training for anything outstanding.

 

[Kristen]

Greetings to everyone, I am new here.
I have just started over in life and I desire to become confirmed. I am 30, twice divorced, and Catholic.

Though I have always considered myself Catholic, I knew that I had never been confirmed and I just found out that I have never been baptized in the Church (my mother performed the rite herself at home). What a surprise for me!

Welcome to the Forums! What a great blessing that you want to normalize your status in the Church!

I read that if the baptism had been performed with the correct wording, I am considered baptized. However, I need to know:

1. How do go about being recognized as baptized? (if possible)
2. What is the best way to become confirmed?
3. Can I initiate my annulments of my divorces now?

My previous marriages were by a Protestant church (the ex spouse is deceased), and the last marriage was by justice of peace. I believe I can be granted annulments in both cases.

My HUGE problem: I want to set my life in this direction as properly as possible, but I am active duty in the military. Becoming a legitimate Catholic is a priority to me! However, I have been unable to even attempt adult confirmation classes because I am deployed constantly and I work horrible hours when I am home. I take college classes online, and I was wondering if there were any online programs available for adult confirmation.

To be honest, I don’t know the specific logistics related to these questions (though I agree that your marriages are not likely a problem, as you would be free of the one when your ex died, and you wouldn’t have been considered married in the Church to begin with in the second case), but I would second the previous poster and suggest that you talk to a Catholic chaplain on base or the local parish priest where you are stationed. My understanding is that the guiding rule in this sort of thing is that if you want to set things right, a legitimate way can be found to do it! Perhaps there is a special version of RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults) for the military? I don’t know, but I’m sure you’re not the first serviceman to wish to enter the Church! I doubt there is an online option, though.

I am secure in the teachings of the faith and I have practiced as a Catholic (without communion) for my whole life.

Once you satisfy a priest that you are prepared for the sacraments (which may not involve a formal class), he should be able to administer them. I’m impressed by your faithfulness in attending Mass your whole life without receiving the nourishment of Our Lord’s Body! Until you are able to receive Him sacramentally, I would encourage you to visit the Blessed Sacrament for adoration as your schedule permits, and perhaps make a spiritual communion (that is, ask Our Lord to come to you as if you had received Him).

Anyway, I wish I had more practical advice, but I just wanted to wish you the best!

God bless you and please stay safe as you defend our Nation!

Kristen

 

[1ke]

If you are not currently married, you do not have an impediment to entering the Church. Your first marriage is a non-issue since that spouse is deceased. Your second marriage would have to be examined to determine validity if you desire to marry again in the future-- your baptism makes it a bit murky as to whether or not you are a Catholic right now and whether or not you would have had to adhere to the Catholic form of marriage.

The first issue that needs to be clarified is that of your baptism. Whether or not the Church recognizes it as valid will depend on a number of factors. The first step is to contact a priest and also your original home parish. If your mother baptized you at home and then reported it to her parish, you may have an entry in the Sacramental Records-- which would simplify things. If she didn’t, and she’s still alive, she can write an affidavit and that may suffice. If there is doubt about the validity, or there were no witnesses, or your mother cannot verify it, then you would likely be considered unbaptized and need baptism in the Church or conditional baptism (which is basically “if you aren’t already validly baptized, I baptize you…”).

All of this can be sorted out, but the first step is to lay it all out to a priest. Being in the military may make it more complex, but certainly not impossible. Ask for a Catholic chaplain and go from there.

Take it one step at a time and don’t get overwhelmed. The priest will guide you through everything.

 

[edjco]

It is my understanding that anyone can baptize as long as they do it in the proper form. As a paramedic, we were taught how to baptize infants we had delivered if the baby was in severe distress and if the parents wanted it, but I don’t know if the Church has a further restriction for your specific case.

In any event, it is also my understanding that your second marriage (if in fact the Church deems you as having been a Catholic then) would not need to be annulled. If one party is a Catholic and doesn’t marry in the Church, nor has the marriage blessed, it is an invalid marriage in the eyes of the Church, since at least one party was in fact Catholic. That’s the best understanding I have of it, but I may be wrong.
You may also want to contact the tribunal in the diocese where you are located. That’s where annullments are investigated, and honestly it seems to me that those priests know considerably more about the grounds for annulment than the average parish priest.
As my priest told me when I returned from a several year “sabbatical” from the Church, “Welcome Back!”.

 

[cameron_lansing]

The point that 1ke presents is quite correct. (“your baptism makes it a bit murky as to whether or not you are a Catholic right now and whether or not you would have had to adhere to the Catholic form of marriage.”)

When someone other than a Catholic priest or deacon confers baptism, there can be subtle twists of law that experts would need to resolve in this case. But they can be ironed out and resolved once the facts are laid out for them. Then the question of the marriage can be addressed as needed.

So take this to a Catholic chaplain or other priest with our best wishes and prayer, and let him pursue those kinds of questions with the experts for you.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Double-time to the Catholic chaplain ASAP. He can set up classes of one for you, with all the materials necessary, portable (and make sure he’s really Catholic, as the chaplains help each other all the time- and another variety of chaplain might not understand your urgency). If you get no action from the chaplain, go to the Archdiocese for Military Services web site, and email as many people you think can help you with your situation.

Bravo zulu to you for coming to CAF. I am asking for the intercession of Father Capodanno, Servant of God, for you.