Changing Confessors

[Turtle_Turtle]

Hi,

I have another question. I hope you don’t get tired of my questions because I have so many.

I go to a priest who is my Confessor. However, in the past few monthes, I have been wanting to change Confessors. I met this priest who is amazing. He is a Contemplative Religious and I asked if he would hear my Confession one day and he did. I have felt in spirit for a long time, that I should ask him to be my Confessor, I did. He said he would be very happy to be my Confessor.

How do I tell my old Confessor what is going on. He’s doing so much for me and has helped me through much, but I have felt in spirit it is time to move on?

Any suggestions or advice?

Thanks.

 

[mab23]

I do anonymous confessions , I couldn’t imagine it any other way

 

[Vico]

Hi,

I have another question. I hope you don’t get tired of my questions because I have so many.

I go to a priest who is my Confessor. However, in the past few monthes, I have been wanting to change Confessors. I met this priest who is amazing. He is a Contemplative Religious and I asked if he would hear my Confession one day and he did. I have felt in spirit for a long time, that I should ask him to be my Confessor, I did. He said he would be very happy to be my Confessor.

How do I tell my old Confessor what is going on. He’s doing so much for me and has helped me through much, but I have felt in spirit it is time to move on?

Any suggestions or advice?

Thanks.

Can you alternate?

 

[Turtle_Turtle]

I do anonymous confessions , I couldn’t imagine it any other way

I don’t mind doing the Confession Face to Face. I like it.

Yet if I am somewhere I don’t know who the priest is, I will do it anonymous, it’s kinda of hard for me to confess to a strange priest.

 

[Turtle_Turtle]

Can you alternate?

I could, but I feel like I only want one Confessor, it keeps things simple. I don’t have to remember what I told to which Confessor. I have bad memory.

 

[Vico]

I could, but I feel like I only want one Confessor, it keeps things simple. I don’t have to remember what I told to which Confessor. I have bad memory.

Hmm. It must be more complicated for you. (I don’t mention the prior confessions or give detailed or long explanations.)

Do you have to tell him?

 

[Turtle_Turtle]

Hmm. It must be more complicated for you. (I don’t mention the prior confessions or give detailed or long explanations.)

Do you have to tell him?

Well, it has always helped in the past to have the same Confessor. He knows my patterns and my weaknesses.

Maybe I’m doing Confession wrong

 

[Oneofthewomen]

No, you are not doing it wrong.

I have a regular confessor who happens to be my spiritual director, and I would not have it any other way.

I have just had the conversation with my SD about maybe moving on.
He is a great priest, has given me some great advice, gives the most amazing penances, and has become a close and trusted friend, which is part of the reason I think our spiritual director/confeesor relationship needs to change.
It was not easy for me to start the conversation, but once I did, we both agreed that it may be time, and he is helping me to find a new director/confessor. I know though, that he will always be available if I need him!

I think the best thing is to just be honest with your current confessor. It is always difficult to start these kinds of conversations, and in the end, you will both be glad you did!

Peace be with you on your journey!

Well, it has always helped in the past to have the same Confessor. He knows my patterns and my weaknesses.

Maybe I’m doing Confession wrong

 

[Turtle_Turtle]

Hi,

No, you are not doing it wrong.

I have a regular confessor who happens to be my spiritual director, and I would not have it any other way.

I was wanting to ask the priest I want to be my Confessor if he would be my SD too. I will start another thread on that later today. I did not know you could do that, I am happy to hear that.

It was not easy for me to start the conversation, but once I did, we both agreed that it may be time, and he is helping me to find a new director/confessor. I know though, that he will always be available if I need him!

Perhaps you hit the nail on the head, it is the hardest thing to start this conversation. If I might ask, how did you start it? My current Confessor I am close to and we are close friends, and well I don’t know what to say.

I think the best thing is to just be honest with your current confessor. It is always difficult to start these kinds of conversations, and in the end, you will both be glad you did!

Thank you so much for this advice. Please pray for me as I consider what to say to my Confessor.

Peace to you as well.

 

[Oneofthewomen]

Happy I was able to help.
As far as how to start the converstation, just say it!!
I will tell you from my experience, if you are feeling the need to change, your confessor already sees it, and probably agrees with you!

I think I said something along these lines-
“I am so grateful that you have been such a wonderful presence in my life, yet I can’t help but to wonder if this director/directee relationship has not run it’s course and that maybe it is time for us to re-evaluate this relationship.”

Good luck!! I will keep you in prayer.
And if you have any other questions feel free to send me a private message.

Hi,

I was wanting to ask the priest I want to be my Confessor if he would be my SD too. I will start another thread on that later today. I did not know you could do that, I am happy to hear that.

Perhaps you hit the nail on the head, it is the hardest thing to start this conversation. If I might ask, how did you start it? My current Confessor I am close to and we are close friends, and well I don’t know what to say.

Thank you so much for this advice. Please pray for me as I consider what to say to my Confessor.

Peace to you as well.

 

[Turtle_Turtle]

Happy I was able to help.
As far as how to start the converstation, just say it!!
I will tell you from my experience, if you are feeling the need to change, your confessor already sees it, and probably agrees with you!

I think I said something along these lines-
“I am so grateful that you have been such a wonderful presence in my life, yet I can’t help but to wonder if this director/directee relationship has not run it’s course and that maybe it is time for us to re-evaluate this relationship.”

Good luck!! I will keep you in prayer.
And if you have any other questions feel free to send me a private message.

Thank you so much. And thank you for the prayer. You see I see my priest later this weekend. Do you think that this is something I might need to schedule an appointment for rather than just see him for a short time this weekend?

Yes something inside is pulling me, he has been my Confessor ever since I came into the Church. But it seems the Lord is leading me down a different path.

 

[Turtle_Turtle]

Guess what all,

I changed Confessors and my New Confessor has consented to be my Spiritual Director. My previous Confessor said he would hear my Confession any time if I needed to confess and my Spiritual Director/Confessor was not available.

He also said I could still call and talk to him whenever I needed or desired to. What a blessing.

Thank you all for your kind words and prayers.

 

[englishredrose]

Well, it has always helped in the past to have the same Confessor. He knows my patterns and my weaknesses.

Maybe I’m doing Confession wrong

No you not doing confession wrong because there aint a right or wrong way in how we approach. Like prayer.

But otherwise I don’t know because I have always gone to the parish priest of the church I go to whoever he may be as you say, I keep it simple.

Personally I would stick with the current one rather than change because in a way would you be getting any more ‘service’ from another. Just because he seems new and fresh for you? chat to new person if you so desire but I really think you didn’t really ought to ‘shop’ around as people say on here. If you need to move on it will happen naturally and you wouldn’t be worried, trust me.

 

[Irishgal49]

Hi,

I have another question. I hope you don’t get tired of my questions because I have so many.

I go to a priest who is my Confessor. However, in the past few monthes, I have been wanting to change Confessors. I met this priest who is amazing. He is a Contemplative Religious and I asked if he would hear my Confession one day and he did. I have felt in spirit for a long time, that I should ask him to be my Confessor, I did. He said he would be very happy to be my Confessor.

How do I tell my old Confessor what is going on. He’s doing so much for me and has helped me through much, but I have felt in spirit it is time to move on?

Any suggestions or advice?

Thanks.

I wouldn’t say anything to the old confessor. That way, heaven forbid the new confessor became ill or had problems, you go and see the old one. Sometimes we feel these “needs” to say things, just simply see the other confessor and don’t say anything to the old one.

 

[Oneofthewomen]

Wonderful news!!

I am so happy for you that all worked out in the best possible way!

Peace & prayers to you as you start this new phase in your journey!!

Guess what all,

I changed Confessors and my New Confessor has consented to be my Spiritual Director. My previous Confessor said he would hear my Confession any time if I needed to confess and my Spiritual Director/Confessor was not available.

He also said I could still call and talk to him whenever I needed or desired to. What a blessing.

Thank you all for your kind words and prayers.

 

[englishredrose]

a true spiritual director wouldn’t not consent and would leave the door open for you all that worry and now you can move on

 

[Turtle_Turtle]

I wouldn’t say anything to the old confessor. That way, heaven forbid the new confessor became ill or had problems, you go and see the old one. Sometimes we feel these “needs” to say things, just simply see the other confessor and don’t say anything to the old one.

Thanks, but I already talked to my Old Confessor. And he told me that he was very appreciative that I told him rather than just dropped off without saying anything. We still talk and are very good friends.

 

[Turtle_Turtle]

Wonderful news!!

I am so happy for you that all worked out in the best possible way!

Peace & prayers to you as you start this new phase in your journey!!

Thanks. And thank you for all of your helpful posts to my questions.

a true spiritual director wouldn’t not consent and would leave the door open for you all that worry and now you can move on

Yeah I did worry, I look back on it and see that I was being silly, but I guess I had to go through all of that to get to this point.