Changing my middle name

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My middle name is Maie (may) same as my paternal grandmother. It’s also my maternal baby cousin’s middle name. It’s hard to describe why i want to change it, without sounding like a horrible person. But basiucally my baby cousin is about the only reason I’d keep my name.

My confermation name is Mary and it’s what I will change my middle name to if I deside too. My mother is trying to convince me that I don’t need too because it is my name in the Church anyway. However, I’d rather make it my legal middle name.

I’d just like some opinions. Nothing is certain and won’t be certain until I’m 18, which is just over a year from now.
 
I voted to leave it the same. One’s middle name is rarely if ever used or heard once one is out of high school. I couldn’t tell you the last time someone mentioned my last name. So, I guess what I’m saying is that it doesn’t have to be something you see or use very often.

I also remember being 17, and what was really important to me then (I added an “E” to my first name despite my birth certificate and namesake saying otherwise) just doesn’t really matter now. Your comment about your grandmother was vague but I’m guessing that she is not a source of inspiration for you at this stage in your life or you would probably be leaving your name alone. You may feel differently in 5 years, or you may feel the same, but I would think that if you felt that strongly about it you could just use the “M.” middle initial and not worry about officially changing it.
 
I said leave it. Like the above poster said, after you move out you will rarely have to use it anyway 🙂

I’ve been married 5 years and on my own for 7, I think maybe once or twice in those years has my middle name been used. Most forms just want a middle initial.
 
Fact is, people rarely choose their own name. Be glad you are not stuck with a dreadful name. There is nothing wrong with your middle name - it was the name that was given to you. Changing it may be hurtful to whoever chose it in the first place. Why would you bother?
 
You don’t need to legally change your middle name - you can call yourself whatever you want - if you dont want the name dont use it if you want another just call yourself it - I have two ‘first’ names it is a matter of choice your middle name is not a legal requirement and you can just tell people it is whatever you want!
 
No, I wouldn’t change your name…
First off, I think it’s absolutely beautiful.

But secondly… your parents were given the privilege to give you a name that they loved… in many ways (unless your parents have encouraged this change) I look at this situation as directly addressing the 4th commandment (honor your father and your mother).

You will have the honor of naming your own children (if you are so blessed)…

Just my thoughts…
 
**Unless your namesake did something horrible to you, I say leave it alone. Even then it could be a source of inspiration (to pray for that person’s soul and to not make the same mistakes).

I think that later in life you will either come to like it or just not care. Either way I don’t think you’d regret not changing it…but I think you have a high possibility of regret if you do.

Personally I think it’s a lovely, unique name! If you don’t, then go with any of the previous suggestions:shrug:

Malia

p.s since I’m assuming your mom chose your middle name, do you think she is hurt that you dislike it so much that you would actually jump through bureaucratic hoops to change it?
**
 
Another thought that came to mind… if you really can’t stand your middle name…
Many women choose to change their middle name to their maiden name once they get married… and then take the husband’s last name…
If you can wait for just a few more years (most women tend to marry in their 20s or 30s) then the situation can be corrected without any insults to parents who may have loved the name Maie.
 
I voted for you to leave it as is. Right now you aren’t big on the name, but as you grow older your family legacy and the importance of carrying a piece of your family with you even if it is so small as your grandmothers middle name will become important. My family has carried the name Mae through five generations now. My maternal great grandmothers middle name was Mae, my aunt was given the middle name Mae, my sister was given the middle name Mae, I gave my daughter the middle name Mae and she gave my brand new granddaughter the middle name Mae.

I’m sure your family has a significance for the spelling of your middle name and it is something you can pass on to your own children, and it is something you share as well with your little cousin.

Cherish and hold dear what has been passed on to you in the form of a family name. Wear it with pride :yup:
 
Another option is to ADD you confirmation name to your legal name without removing your original name. So you would have 2 middle names. That is sort of what I did when I got married. I like my middle name, but I also wanted to keep my maiden name as part of my identity, so when I had to fill out the forms to change my last name, I also added my maiden name as a 2nd middle name. I would’ve added my confirmation name as well, but there wasn’t room on the form. My social security card now reads: Firstname Middlename Maidenname Lastname. 4 names, 2 in the middle. Ultimately, it really doesn’t matter what your legal name is. In 9.5 years of having this legal name, I have NEVER used it.
 
a legal name change is a big hassle and not inexpensive, so the reasons should be correspondingly grave. when I married my legal name became Firstname, Dad’slastname, Husband’slastname, which is the custom in my family, and my middle name kind of drifted away. I actually used my middle name and my mother’s maiden name as a pen name when I used to write.
 
Just wait til you get married. You can change it to anything you want then, and you’ll already be doing all the paperwork to change names anyway. Much simpler.
 
I don’t have a strong opinion on what you should do, but I would suggest if you do it, do so before you start establishing credit, buying property, etc, b/c I can tell you it’s a complete and total hassle changing your name legally on volumes of documents from credit cards and mortgage to utility bills, library cards, etc. UGH!!! I changed my name when I got married, not just my last name but my legal name (I am one of those kids whose parents called them by their middle name… so I dropped my first name and change my name legally to First Maiden Married-Last).

If you do it, do it at 18.

I am of the opinion that if you want to change your name, go ahead and change it. It made me happy to drop my first name which was difficult to pronounce and an endless source of confusion and misspellings on legal documents.
 
Em_in_FL said:
Another thought that came to mind… if you really can’t stand your middle name…
Many women choose to change their middle name to their maiden name once they get married… and then take the husband’s last name…
If you can wait for just a few more years (most women tend to marry in their 20s or 30s) then the situation can be corrected without any insults to parents who may have loved the name Maie.
Click to expand...
My middle name is Marie, the standard issue Catholic girl middle name. I have it because my paternal grandmother pitched a fit after finding out I would have the same name as one of my mothers grandmothers whom she never met. She demanded I have a name from that side of the family, and I got stuck with her name. I love my grandmother very much, but, I don’t get along with her.

When I get married in the fall, I’m changing my middle name. I have a last name that is a very common Irish girls first name, and dropping the Marie permanantly. I’ve always loathed it, and will finally have a chance at getting rid of it, which I will promptly do on the first business day following Oct 11th.

Wait til you get married. If you don’t get married wait til your grandmother has passed away and then change it.
 
Goth_Catholic said:
My middle name is Maie (may) same as my paternal grandmother. It’s also my maternal baby cousin’s middle name. It’s hard to describe why i want to change it, without sounding like a horrible person. But basiucally my baby cousin is about the only reason I’d keep my name.

My confermation name is Mary and it’s what I will change my middle name to if I deside too. My mother is trying to convince me that I don’t need too because it is my name in the Church anyway. However, I’d rather make it my legal middle name.

I’d just like some opinions. Nothing is certain and won’t be certain until I’m 18, which is just over a year from now.
Click to expand...
I like it a lot–I voted to leave it as Maie.🙂
 
Just so you realize that if you change your middle name you will be inconveniencing any future genealogists in your family. You may be recorded twice as two different people.
 
It’s true that my mom did choose my name, and that may be why i ulimately keep it, that and the hassle it would cause. I’m not serious about it right now, it’s just been a lingering thought.
 
Few adults use a middle name in the real world unless it was one by which they were commonly known (“Mary Beth,” for example). Maybe a middle initial, which you are suggesting would be the same in either option . . .

Keep Maie and save yourself (and your folks) the aggrevation. Besides, it’s an interesting name with a story behind it – much better than saying “my middle name is Mary because that’s what I wanted it to be” which is kind of a yawn of a tale.
 
Leave it alone, Goth. Logically, it makes more sense to wait until you marry or just drop the darn thing.

When you are 18, you CAN go change your social security card from Catholic_Goth Maie to just Catholic_Goth Smith. Then, you can change your driver’s license. In Illinois, that’d only be $20. it beats the cost of a name change.
 
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