Changing one's mind /"promises"

[Kathrin]

I have been told it is not a lie if you change your mind about something and do something else than you intended… right?

Ok what about this example…

What if somebody fills out a job application and mentions e.g. that he is taking lessons that are neneficial for the job (e.g. languages), and will have finished soon… if the person doesn’t get the job, is he still for some reason morally bound to continue, because he mentioned it in the application? What if he decided that is not for him anyway?

Long time ago I filled out a job application. It would have been good for the job if I knew some Spanish, and since I had started to teach myself Spanish at the time, I wrote that in the application. I don’t remember exactly how I wrote it. Did I maybe say soemthing like “I’ll be able to speak it soon”? I have no idea.

Anyway, I didn’t get the job. I am not sure if the application is still around somewhere, that was in 2002. I didn’t get the job and I also stopped learning Spanish.

Years later I suddenly think, hm, did I lie then? Yes maybe I was a bit bold in saying I would be able to speak it soon, as I had just begun… but did I really write that?
Should I try to find out? Ask them if it’s ok if I don’t learn Spanish anymore?
Or just forget about it?
Am I in any way morally or otherwise bound to still continue with this now?

As some of you know, I am learnign a different language at this time. Starting with Spanish again now would cause quite a mix-up maybe… I really don’t feel like taking up Spanish again too at this point. Is it ok to change my mind like that, even if long ago I wrote it on an application?

Does this all sound crazy? Apologies already.

Kathrin

 

[Trishie]

Kathrin, You didn’t lie as you were studying it at the time. That you later stopped isn’t a lie. It just shows you didn’t have a strong interest in learning Spanish for its own sake, that is all, it isn’t a sin. You aren’t obliged to learn Spanish unless you want to. You don’t want to, so be peaceful in studying the language you are presently studying.

Be at peace
Trishie

 

[Kathrin]

Trishie,
thanks for your quick reply. And the words “be at peace”. Is hard sometimes with a mind like mine.

 

[Trishie]

Kathrin, I do understand. You have a very sensitive conscence. I can understand that you have many such dilemmas and questions.
Love, Trishie :hug3:

 

[chevalier]

A lie is when you consciously give the wrong information. In some cases, it may also be done by withholding information.

If you are in error, you do not lie. If you change your mind later, you don’t retroactively make it a lie.

Not every assertion is a promise, either.

 

[selylidne]

Breaking a promise is officially considered a venial sin. Breaking a solemn vow (e.g. marriage vows, religious vows) is officially considered a mortal sin.

In my own opinion, the Church’s official teaching is too lax on this. I think that, if you make an important promise to a person you care about, and that other person was depending on you keeping the promise, and you break the promise, then that was likely grave matter.

Christ counseled us against making needless promises.
Matthew 5:36-37 (NASB):

Nor shall you make an oath by your head,
for you cannot make one hair white or black.
But let your statement be, ‘Yes, yes’ or ‘No, no’;
anything beyond these is of evil.