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puzzleannie
Guest
Not sure where to pose this question, but as it is most likely a symptom of what is going on in spiritual life, this sounds like the best place. May I describe what I am experiencing and ask for the insight of you wise people.
I have always been a voracious reader, 10 or 12 mysteries a month, at least 3-4 history books a month, unable to sit quietly, or eat a meal without a book, any book, even a mail order catalog. I have always had music on in the background while studying, reading, working, cleaning, driving etc. It used to be oldies & classic rock, then about 5 years ago, driving home from a Steubenville conference full of the Holy Spirit, I found the usual rock station grating and unbearable. Since then I listen to classical music, or to instrumental hymns or chant during spiritual reading and prayer.
In the last year I find myself disgusted with most of what I used to enjoy reading. Moved and got rid of 3/4 of my books, unable to find anything in a bookstore I want to read at all, except some classics. Even those are beginning to pall. Also have narrowed down spiritual reading, getting rid of pop-style, fix all your problems with the Bible type paperbacks. I find myself turning to spiritual classics, theology. Where I used to be able to read a dissenting or unorthodox writer critically, now I cannot tolerate reading it at all without anger.
I also cannot bear to have music playing any more, except sometimes chant, taize, or instrumental hymns when I am agitated or stressed and need to induce a quiet mood. Cannot listen to music at all during lectio, prayer or spiritual reading.
I used to read 3-4 books at a time, very quickly but, I thought, thoroughly. Now one book can take weeks, a few pages a day to digest, but I feel in no rush to begin. Lectio with Acts of the Apostles took 8 months last year. Don’t spend a lot of time reading either, less than an hour a day.
It is not just that my tastes are changing, but I cannot even tolerate spending time with mundane books and music and TV. Hub was working elsewhere for 3 months, so DSS did not get turned on in new house until he got back. No TV during that time did not miss it, have not had it on at all since he got back, unless he watches sports in his office.
I used to relish reading and hearing new ideas, challenging ideas, new music, new shows, new points of view. Is my intellect shutting down on me?
So what is going on? Premature senility? Boredom? Intellectual processes closing down? I feel like time is getting short and I have no time to waste on junk reading, watching or listening. Internet use has also dropped (in spite of this forum). So am I old, lazy, tired, or what?
I have always been a voracious reader, 10 or 12 mysteries a month, at least 3-4 history books a month, unable to sit quietly, or eat a meal without a book, any book, even a mail order catalog. I have always had music on in the background while studying, reading, working, cleaning, driving etc. It used to be oldies & classic rock, then about 5 years ago, driving home from a Steubenville conference full of the Holy Spirit, I found the usual rock station grating and unbearable. Since then I listen to classical music, or to instrumental hymns or chant during spiritual reading and prayer.
In the last year I find myself disgusted with most of what I used to enjoy reading. Moved and got rid of 3/4 of my books, unable to find anything in a bookstore I want to read at all, except some classics. Even those are beginning to pall. Also have narrowed down spiritual reading, getting rid of pop-style, fix all your problems with the Bible type paperbacks. I find myself turning to spiritual classics, theology. Where I used to be able to read a dissenting or unorthodox writer critically, now I cannot tolerate reading it at all without anger.
I also cannot bear to have music playing any more, except sometimes chant, taize, or instrumental hymns when I am agitated or stressed and need to induce a quiet mood. Cannot listen to music at all during lectio, prayer or spiritual reading.
I used to read 3-4 books at a time, very quickly but, I thought, thoroughly. Now one book can take weeks, a few pages a day to digest, but I feel in no rush to begin. Lectio with Acts of the Apostles took 8 months last year. Don’t spend a lot of time reading either, less than an hour a day.
It is not just that my tastes are changing, but I cannot even tolerate spending time with mundane books and music and TV. Hub was working elsewhere for 3 months, so DSS did not get turned on in new house until he got back. No TV during that time did not miss it, have not had it on at all since he got back, unless he watches sports in his office.
I used to relish reading and hearing new ideas, challenging ideas, new music, new shows, new points of view. Is my intellect shutting down on me?
So what is going on? Premature senility? Boredom? Intellectual processes closing down? I feel like time is getting short and I have no time to waste on junk reading, watching or listening. Internet use has also dropped (in spite of this forum). So am I old, lazy, tired, or what?
Even hardships no longer seem that hard as I am bearing it for Christ Jesus.
, but I hold these words dear to my heart … when Christ first started His Ministry, they all said ‘He is beside Himself’ and thought He had gone mad. If I am mad, then I am happy to be, because to live daily in the presence of God is a gift and a blessing none deserve, but if it is the desire of my Father in heaven then I should not worry and embrace it with my heart and both arms.
I think you had my message to Aimee confused with Puzzleannie. Aimee did mention that due to a hormonal (a/k/a medical) problem, she had difficulty concentrating when she read. It was Puzzleannie who mentioned senility. I know a few people who have chemical imbalances for which they take medication. It does cause the problem Aimee mentioned.
