Puzzleannie,
I’m sure that what you’re going through is normal…I’m experiencing the same thing (as are many others, judging by the posts on this thread) to some degree.
It’s weird. I met two young women, close to my age in my townhome complex, and they, whether they realize it or not, were instrumental in my present position…returned to the Church 100%, wearing a veil at Mass…never would have considered it at all if J. hadn’t discussed it. They also told me about Catholic radio in our area…and ever since then I’ve been instantly addicted.
That graduated to listening specifically to Catholic radio, unless the topic is really not of interest to me…ie; the interview of some “basketball star”–really, I couldnt’ care less. I’m happy for his faith. Moving on to other stations. Sorry, I have an adversion to basketball and I think sports “heroes” are overrated. They ALL make me gag.
So I otherwise listen to Christian radio, if music is playing…although I have to admit I learned a few things listening to Protestant lectures, things that don’t disagree with Catholic teaching. Currently, though I avoid any kind of Prot. lectures as I am trying to focus on our beliefs specifically.
I have been also more attracted to Catholic apologetic reading…and in January, I am attending an apologetics conference locally with a friend of mine.
I’m starting to wonder if I’m called to a religious vocation, although with what I know of myself I just can’t see it…I don’t think I 'm really called to the life but my interest in faith again is so strong it is making me question what I think I am, and consider what I coudl be. Does that make sense? Especially considering that I’m 30–maybe an early middle age crisis?
Stuff that used to interest me doesn’t pull me anymore, and I question my employment sometimes…is this REALLY what God wants of me? My work is not unethical, although I question some issues…and wonder what happens if I make a mistake as my decisions, trusted by my superiors and reviewed with their experience, can affect the lives of others in a major way.
Ever since my return to the Church I am really understanding the concept of “fearing” God…and this has made and is making a HUGE impact in my life.
I’m guessing, that, given the posts here, that my feelings and experiences are likely shared by others. Will this feeling of discombobulation in the “real” world never end? Will we ever again feel “secure” in the “real” world, yet still be consistently joined with Christ and what he intends for us?
Does anyone have the ability to better articulate what I’m trying to explain here?
Thanks, Puzzleannie, for starting this thread. God Bless!
