Character trait most looked for in a future wife

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dublingirl

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Just interested to know what character trait ye guys would look for most in a future wife (or the trait you most admire in your wife if you are married) assuming that she is already a “good Catholic/Christian”.
Do you think a sense of humour is more important than being able to cook for example or would you like a girl who is genuinely caring even if she can’t use the washing machine?!
 
Hello

I expect a future wife to be both caring and able to do the housework
and hope for myself to help out as well. To give and take and understand one another.

God Bless
Saint Andrew.
 
Hi dublingirl,

I can’t speak for most guys, because I think that most of them place looks at the top of the list, and IMHO, that should be much lower on the list of ‘must haves’.

At almost 30, I married later than most, and at almost 50, I’m still very happily married. Many of my other friends have married and divorced.

I would choose someone that is much like my beloved wife.
In no particular order, except number one.
  1. Catholic to the core. Not negotiable.
  2. Faithful/Loyal. That’s me, so why wouldn’t I expect the same.
  3. Submissive without being a doormat.
  4. Smart/Educated . I’m smart and well educated, so I wanted the same.
  5. Sexual. Not like a ‘professional’, not even ‘great’ is necessary, Just an average, straight-up, vanilla girl. Just willing and a little playful.
  6. Good mother. Loves and wants kids.
  7. Fair or better cook and house-keeper.
  8. Economical. Spends carefully and wisely. I make the money, she manages it. She keeps a twenty $ bill in my pocket.
  9. Modest dresser. Mary is the model.
Looks are not important. Body type is not important. Fancy dress is not important.

My wife is sorta’ geeky and kinda’ plain. She was skinny as a bean pole when we married and now she’s a little chubby. She is nothing like some of the beauty queens I’ve dated. I knew I wanted to marry her the day I met her. I love her with all my heart and would have no problem giving my life for her. She’s all I ever wanted, and I would be lost if she was gone.

I’m kind of a wild fly boy, and have always been a little bad, and she is far from wild and has never been bad. She doesn’t even like to fly.

Yup, I’ve got it made. I got lucky when I met her.

Would other guys find someone like my wife as HOT as I do? I ‘dunno, but if they don’t, they don’t know what they’re missin’.http://forums.catholic-questions.org/images/icons/icon12.gif

I hope this helps.
 
i think that you need to look at her relationship with her father and a girl needs to look at her boyfriend’s relationship with his mother.

VERY IMPORTANT
 
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cargopilot:
I can’t speak for most guys, because I think that most of them place looks at the top of the list, and IMHO, that should be much lower on the list of ‘must haves’.
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cargopilot:
Looks are not important. Body type is not important. Fancy dress is not important.
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cargopilot:
Would other guys find someone like my wife as HOT as I do? I ‘dunno, but if they don’t, they don’t know what they’re missin’.http://forums.catholic-questions.org/images/icons/icon12.gif
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cargopilot, you sound like a wonderful guy – I wish there were more like you in the world. 🙂
Crazy Internet Junkie Society
****Carrier of the Angelic Sparkles Sprinkle Bag
 
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spacecadet:
i think that you need to look at her relationship with her father and a girl needs to look at her boyfriend’s relationship with his mother.

VERY IMPORTANT
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I’m curious to know what would be seen as good signs and what would be warning signs about this. I know a guy’s respect (or lack of) for his mother usually parallels the amount of respect he’ll show to other women but what about girls and their fathers?
 
Christian
Ribald sense of humor…no prudes need apply
Caring to mine and others needs
Knowledge seeker and not just a reader of fiction.
More homebody than outdoorsy…camping and boating now and then is cool however.
Neat but not high maintenence
Dog lover
Sexual tigress in the bedroom 😉
 
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KiwiCatholic86:
I’m curious to know what would be seen as good signs and what would be warning signs about this. I know a guy’s respect (or lack of) for his mother usually parallels the amount of respect he’ll show to other women but what about girls and their fathers?
Click to expand...
Well, is she daddy’s little princess–spoiled, bought-for, manipulative? That’s one red light. Is her father abusive or alcoholic? That’s not necessarily a red light, but certainly a cautionary one–she may have a very distorted idea of what constitutes a healthy male-female relationship, have trouble being assertive, etc.
 
The one I will love, in every aspect. Who she is, looks, the way her mind works, spirituality (Catholic most likely)…

But more practically:

Able to keep up with quick, witty conversation. Probably gonna have to have a thick skin as far as that goes.

Able/willing to do the stay at home mom thing, but not because she feels she has to. If I (God forbid) bite the dust while they are still young, I want to know they will be taken care of.

Wouldnt hurt if she were a good editor or critic of literary stuff 🙂 …

She’ll be beautiful–I dont worry about that.

No problem with managing the money while I’m out in the salt mines 😉 .
 
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cargopilot:
I can’t speak for most guys, because I think that most of them place looks at the top of the list, and IMHO, that should be much lower on the list of ‘must haves’.
I’m still very happily married.

I would choose someone that is much like my beloved wife.

Looks are not important. Body type is not important. Fancy dress is not important.

I love her with all my heart and would have no problem giving my life for her. She’s all I ever wanted, and I would be lost if she was gone.

Yup, I’ve got it made. I got lucky when I met her.

Would other guys find someone like my wife as HOT as I do? I ‘dunno, but if they don’t, they don’t know what they’re missin’.http://forums.catholic-questions.org/images/icons/icon12.gif

I hope this helps.
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Thanks Cargopilot for all that advice - lots of food for thought. You gave us what us girls should aim to be but also, quite unintentionally, the character traits we should look for in a man. God bless you and your wife.
 
Most importantly (other than a sincere Catholic):
  • She is real, not phony in any way…what you see is what you get
  • Is adamately pro-life!
  • She is trustworthy and trusting
  • She loves me as I am, even with my flaws
  • She is not into material, show-off type things
  • She seeks God and to follow Him first through discernment
  • She prays with me
  • She encourages my ministry within the Church
  • She works on the marriage through snuggling with me on the couch, open dialog, intimate getaways, Eucharistic adoration with me, and couple retreats
Secondly, I would like a wife who:
  • Likes the outdoors
  • Likes to read
  • Likes to discuss life issues
  • Likes dogs and other domestic animals
  • Has a sense of humor and jokes with me
  • Likes travel and meeting people
  • Likes the sea and the mountains
Well…that is my ideal.

Love & peace,
Bob
 
sorry… but I have to put in a word for what I want in my husband…
  • smart
  • honest
  • likes to communicate with me
  • sensitive
  • hard working
  • understanding
 
She will be in it for life, the good the bad and the ugly - totally committed, someone who understands a Covenant marriage…
 
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buffalo:
She will be in it for life, the good the bad and the ugly - totally committed, someone who understands a Covenant marriage…
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YUP :yup:
 
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buffalo:
She will be in it for life, the good the bad and the ugly - totally committed, someone who understands a Covenant marriage…
Click to expand...
:amen:

Yeah, I have to agree. My list is something as follows:

Really really Catholic (not cafeteria-style)
motherly
strong
respectful
intelligent
driven
faithful
well-rounded
prepared to help me when I need it
a good, healthy sense of humor

I also would like a wife who can accept my quirks and my enjoyment of some odd things (like Volvos)

I’m lucky though, my girlfriend more than meets those standards. She is absolutely perfect for me.

Eamon
 
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dublingirl:
Do you think a sense of humour is more important than being able to cook for example or would you like a girl who is genuinely caring even if she can’t use the washing machine?!
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Well, I can cook, sew(to a point), and clean, and don’t mind either, but I know that my girlfriend can cook and clean as well, so I figure we will just share it. She just owns me in the sewing department though. But a lot of that stuff doesn’t bother me either way. Personality, values, and such are much more important.

Eamon
 
Obedience, plain and simple. She also must flatter my ego, honor me by never contradicting me on anything, ever, never even think of working, surrender all financial control to me, provide me with countless children, satisfy my every need…
 
  1. Christian. This is non-negotiable. 🙂
  2. Respectful. Men need respect the way women need love and affection. Being treated with respect is our equivalent of a woman getting flowers.
  3. Modesty. Most men are attracted to modest women.
  4. Supportive. Nothing kills love faster than nagging and chronic criticism. On the flip side–women find male confidence attractive, so tearing it down will leave the woman disatisfied with the results, so such a tactic is self-defeating.
  5. Responsible. No one enjoys irresponsible partners.
  6. Maternal instinct. Men admire women who love children. This maternal istinct should be directed at the children only, men loath being mothered.
  7. Appreciative. It’s tough to work 60 hours a week for your family, only to come home and hear you’re not doing enough (just like it would be tough to spend all day making up the home and taking care of the kids, only to have him come home and say you didnt’ do anything)
  8. Pleasant. If you want your husband to enjoy your company, remember–you’re not his mother so don’t talk to him like a child, don’t make him the brunt of your jokes, etc.
  9. Positive. Avoid marinating in negatives–it creates a bad attitude
  10. Virtuous. A virtuous woman is worth more than all the gold in the world.
Most of these are things women appreciate from their men as well.

I look forward to reading what the women have to say in the other thread. 🙂
 
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Jay74:
  1. Respectful. Men need respect the way women need love and affection. Being treated with respect is our equivalent of a woman getting flowers.
  2. Supportive. Nothing kills love faster than nagging and chronic criticism. On the flip side–women find male confidence attractive, so tearing it down will leave the woman disatisfied with the results, so such a tactic is self-defeating.
  3. Appreciative. It’s tough to work 60 hours a week for your family, only to come home and hear you’re not doing enough (just like it would be tough to spend all day making up the home and taking care of the kids, only to have him come home and say you didnt’ do anything)
  4. Positive. Avoid marinating in negatives–it creates a bad attitude
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This is a great book on thses very points - Love and Respect (his website)

more about the book and order
 
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