Character trait most looked for in a future wife

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buffalo:
This is a great book on thses very points - Love and Respect (his website)

more about the book and order
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Looks like a good website. Thanks. šŸ™‚

Blessings.
 
wowā€¦ after reading all these postsā€¦ I guess I have a lot to work on šŸ™‚
 
cargopilot said:
1. Catholic to the core. Not negotiable.
2. Faithful/Loyal. Thatā€™s me, so why wouldnā€™t I expect the same.
3. Submissive without being a doormat.
4. Smart/Educated . Iā€™m smart and well educated, so I wanted the same.
5. Sexual. Not like a ā€˜professionalā€™, not even ā€˜greatā€™ is necessary, Just an average, straight-up, vanilla girl. Just willing and a little playful.
6. Good mother. Loves and wants kids.
7. Fair or better cook and house-keeper.
8. Economical. Spends carefully and wisely. I make the money, she manages it. She keeps a twenty $ bill in my pocket.
9. Modest dresser. Mary is the model.
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I really like this list. I would make a couple of changes/additions. 1) I am open to the possibility of having a non-Catholic wife as long as she is willing to raise our kids Catholic, because I am Catholic to the core. 2) I do think looks are important. Donā€™t get me wrong, Iā€™m not trying to be vain or anything, but I think itā€™s important that you are physically attracted to your spouse. 3) I can cook (and Iā€™m pretty good if I do say so myself) so itā€™s not necessary for her to be, though it would be preferable.
 
Okay, you said ā€œCharacter traitā€, not physical trait (you can use your imagination there) and you said ā€œmost looked forā€, so I think submitting a Christmas list is unfair.

You probably asked ā€œmost looked forā€ so you would have something to focus on or further understand about males. Right? Well, Iā€™ll try to help.

I heard a saying once about men and women, maybe not the most flattering with men, but probably very revealing psychologically.

It went something like:

"Women crave to be loved. Men crave to be admired."

I hate to say it but it is probably true. Maybe that is how we perceive love to a great deal.

When my wife has remarked, ā€œDonā€™t ever give up swimming, I love those shoulders.ā€

or

ā€œYouā€™re great with our kids. You should see yourself.ā€

or

ā€œYou understand investing more than I ever will. You handle it.ā€

. . .itā€™s etched into my memory. I believe a bonding has occurred in moments of flattery.

So, yes, flattery is the most important. I guess flattery is tied with appreciation.

A little ironic, huh? Men are constantly trained to flatter women on first dates - nice perfume, nice shoes, but ultimately it is probably compliments that we want the most.

I married a Jersey girl and love her but if you need a model, and I hate to say this, a Southern girl probably understands male psychology the most. There is something intuitive they have on this and if you are from the North, you could take a lesson.

Like I said, it goes beyond just ego stroking (oh I donā€™t know, maybe it is just ego stroking, LOL) something is happening at the bonding level.

Good luck.
 
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Scanner:
Okay, you said ā€œCharacter traitā€, not physical trait (you can use your imagination there) and you said ā€œmost looked forā€, so I think submitting a Christmas list is unfair.

You probably asked ā€œmost looked forā€ so you would have something to focus on or further understand about males. Right? Well, Iā€™ll try to help.
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Yes, I said ā€œcharacter traitā€ not ā€œphysical traitā€ because you cannot do anything to change the latter.
In relation to the ā€œChristmas listā€ Iā€™m glad people are putting more than one character trait on the list - maybe cos these are all essential and if they are I wanna know about them!
And yes, 'tis so I and us other mnĆ” (ladies in Gaelic) have something to ā€œfocus onā€, no point in being able to fix cars if that ainā€™t what me future hubby wants šŸ™‚
Interesting though - There were 23 responses to this thread in 10 days, whereas there were 39 responses to the other thread in relation to husbands in just 3 days - why?!
 
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dublingirl:
Just interested to know what character trait ye guys would look for most in a future wife (or the trait you most admire in your wife if you are married) assuming that she is already a ā€œgood Catholic/Christianā€.
Do you think a sense of humour is more important than being able to cook for example or would you like a girl who is genuinely caring even if she canā€™t use the washing machine?!
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Sense of humor is more important than her being able to use the washing machine. I like a sense of homor.
 
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cynic:
Obedience, plain and simple. She also must flatter my ego, honor me by never contradicting me on anything, ever, never even think of working, surrender all financial control to me, provide me with countless children, satisfy my every needā€¦
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wow, jeez man! i can honestly say that i could never be like that
 
OK, I am a woman, but since I have spent a while looking for just the right lady for my brother, I have some experience.

First- I always thought devout Catholic was #1, then I realized, that for him, truly, sense of humor is #1. He is the kind of guy who could totally bring someone to the Church, of course, she would have to be Christian and pro-life, then he could show her the ā€œTruthā€.

He needs someone politically minded and with a great sense of humor.

Any ideas? šŸ˜‰

BTW- my husband is also an example of ā€œgreat sense of humorā€ being number one. When a person can make you laugh, it just makes all of the difference in the world.
 
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dublingirl:
Just interested to know what character trait ye guys would look for most in a future wife (or the trait you most admire in your wife if you are married) assuming that she is already a ā€œgood Catholic/Christianā€.
Do you think a sense of humour is more important than being able to cook for example or would you like a girl who is genuinely caring even if she canā€™t use the washing machine?!
Click to expand...
I havenā€™t read the thread (just this post Iā€™m quoting) so forgive me if this has already been said.

For me, the one trait that must be present is that she loves the Lord more than anything else. She desires more than anything to be a saint and her main goal in being married is to push her husband to holiness and sainthood along with her!

When I find that womanā€¦
 
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EsclavoDeCristo:
For me, the one trait that must be present is that she loves the Lord more than anything else. She desires more than anything to be a saint and her main goal in being married is to push her husband to holiness and sainthood along with her!
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Thatā€™s the concensus. Very important to me as well.

Eamon
 
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turboEDvo:
Youā€™d definitely have to change the ā€œto death do we partā€ sectionā€¦

Eamon
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Wellā€¦ in civil courtā€¦ they took it out for the case of divorcesā€¦
 
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Fashina86:
Wellā€¦ in civil courtā€¦ they took it out for the case of divorcesā€¦
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Isnā€™t it amazing what people try?!

Eamon
 
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cynic:
Obedience, plain and simple. She also must flatter my ego, honor me by never contradicting me on anything, ever, never even think of working, surrender all financial control to me, provide me with countless children, satisfy my every needā€¦
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My dear Cynic,
I thought for a moment you were being serious. But then I spied your name and I took your thread for what it was worth: buffoonery, pure and simple.
 
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dublingirl:
Just interested to know what character trait ye guys would look for most in a future wife (or the trait you most admire in your wife if you are married) assuming that she is already a ā€œgood Catholic/Christianā€.
Do you think a sense of humour is more important than being able to cook for example or would you like a girl who is genuinely caring even if she canā€™t use the washing machine?!
Click to expand...
Dublingirl,

First and foremost, the girl I look for would have to be a good Catholic, as you said. Iā€™m not saying great or saint-like because I want us to grow in our faith for as long as weā€™re together. By not setting the bar too high, I wonā€™t get the feeling that Iā€™m not good enough for her.

So, as far the most important point in a future girlfriend and wife is concerned, she would have to be loving and caring. To put up with who I am, to give a gentle (or genuine) laugh whenever I tell a stupid joke, to care for me and our eventual children, and to give me a hug whenever I am discouraged. This would be a definite starting point for me. Now, I havenā€™t really put alot of thought into this kind of thing, so I plan to be open to whatever that special someone might be like. There are just too many variables in a personā€™s character to account for, so I try to keep my choices open.

Cooking and operating a dish washer, and the like, arenā€™t too important to me in my relationship because I can do a little of both. I think that a married couple is a team; thus, Iā€™ll do what I can for the family and around the house, if she will contribute in her own way, as well. I think this will help us grow even stronger together.

That is what Iā€™m seeking. I hope this helps. God Bless you in your search.

Sincerely,
GWofVA šŸ™‚
 
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