Here is a very illustrative difference in the way english interprets love, and the way Christ means love.
The blue indicates Christs question: “Do you love me”, the red is Peters response.
21:15 ote oun êristêsan legei tô simôni petrô o iêsous simôn iôna agapas me pleion toutôn legei autô nai kurie su oidas oti philô se legei autô boske ta arnia mou
16 legei autô palin deuteron simôn iôna agapas me legei autô nai kurie su oidas oti philô se legei autô poimaine ta probata mou
17 legei autô to triton simôn iôna phileis me elupêthê o petros oti eipen autô to triton phileis me kai eipen autô kurie ts su panta oidas su ginôskeis oti philô se legei autô o iêsous boske ta probata mou
18 amên amên legô soi ote ês neôteros ezônnues seauton kai periepateis opou êtheles otan de gêrasês ekteneis tas cheiras sou kai allos se zôsei kai oisei opou ou theleis
19 outo de eipen sêmainôn poiô thanatô doxasei ton theon kai touto eipôn legei autô akolouthei moi
Notice especially the third time Jesus asks Peter if he loves him, he doesn’t say agape, but philia. Peter has good reason to be grieved. Then notice how the text immediately trasitions to a prophesy about Peters death.
And here it is in the english translation:
15: When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?" He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.”
16: A second time he said to him, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.”
17: He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” And he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep.
18: Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you girded yourself and walked where you would; but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will gird you and carry you where you do not wish to go.”
19: (This he said to show by what death he was to glorify God.) And after this he said to him, “Follow me.”
Christ is telling Peter that he will learn to Agape, and Peter does give up his life hung upside down on a cross a little over thirty years later. As an interesting side note, the second time Jesus asks Peter if he loves him, he uses the word poimaine instead of boske. Poimaine means:
poimaino poy-mah’-ee-no
to tend as a shepherd of (figuratively, superviser) – feed (cattle), rule.
Anyway, I think the above is one of the best illustrations in the bible of what benevolent, self sacrifical, charitable love is (as opposed to modern love, which is watered down and wishy washy IMHO) because Jesus contrasts it with friendship love. Agape is works love.
Hope that helps a bit.
Peace and God Bless
Nicene