Charity, or Enabling?

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I work at a local Supermarket with a gas station. I usually do the stock/cleaning the shelves and the gas (a bell rings when somebody pulls up.) Today a woman came who asked if she could use EBT for gas. Unfortunately we can’t take EBT for gas, so she had to pay with her cash. I felt moved to say that I could pay $20 for her gas (she only had $3 for gas), but I decided not to.

Later, I told of my idea to a co-worker (who is also a friend; I am friends with practically everyone who works there) who said that the customer looked like she may be a junkie. I said I don’t think she looks like a junkie but what do I know. 🤷

This brings me to my question: should we give without question, or should we use wisdom before we give to make sure we don’t enable potential drug addicts? Thanks! 👍
 
We should give to the poor when we are able to.
It’s not our place to assume what their situation is. I’m more likely to give to a woman, since she may have children. There are untold numbers of homeless women and children.
They can have whatever I have on me when I see them.
Many people will tell you this attitude is wrong…but I don’t want to have to explain why I turned my back on the last day. It’s best to have good intentions.

Sometimes God tests us to see if we have really learned anything.
 
Well, it’s difficult to tell who is a drug addict and who is just dirty, poor and tired.

Appearances can be deceiving. Unless you have good reason to believe that the person is a junkie, I would say to just donate. It’s really hard for one to really know unless you have seen the woman doing drugs or something.

I will say this though, try giving the materials needed as opposed to money. If someone wants money for food, give them food, not money. You can ask them what they want in the store and offer to buy it. I think that’s the safest way.

As for the gas thing, you could buy the gas yourself in the future. I think this is the best way to go about doing charity.
 
I have been advised to give out money and instead give out food or material goods.
However, I believe that if I give someone who is homeless, etc. that needs the money, what they do with the money is on them. If they turn around and buy drugs/alcohol, etc. instead of buying clothes, shelter, etc. then that is on them.
 
Melodeonist said:
This brings me to my question: should we give without question, or should we use wisdom before we give to make sure we don’t enable potential drug addicts? Thanks! 👍
Click to expand...
This is a prudential judgement. If you feel moved to give, give. If you fear that by giving you are helping a person’s unhealthy lifestyle, don’t. (Though not giving anything to them probably won’t help them anymore than giving will.)

There is no sin or imperfection in choosing to give to a person who is clearly abusing. Perhaps take advantage of that moment when you are giving to them (you have influence over them when you are giving to them) to encourage them to come to Church, or to stop abusing a substance.
 
A difficult question. I think maybe ringing up $10.00 bucks in gas out of your pocket might be charitable. No real easy answer. Just do as your heart dictates. Peace
 
As far as I am concerned, Jesus said “whatever you do to the least of these, that you do to me”. I tend to think of the “least” as being the least outwardly deserving, as generosity to them may have the greatest impact in terms of turning their lives around.

If a panhandler mentions having a specific need such as food, transport or what have you I would try to oblige rather than just giving money.
 
As everyone has said, there is no good answer on how to balance charity and the need to eat ourselves. In this situation, there are two things that would cause me to hesitate as you did:
  1. Personal generosity at work can be a dangerous thing. Some employers don’t take to kindly to it, which can be a problem for you. The other side of it is that you are there to earn money for your own sustenance. Generally, it is better to consciously support a local charity and try to redirect people who need assistance there.
  2. I find it hard to believe that someone on EBT doesn’t know what it can be used for. That balanced with the amount she had on her. 3$ is just enough to not seem suspiciously low while still not really being enough to get enough gas to work with.
As the others have said, judgement on physical characteristics are unreliable at best.
 
Hard to know, and I think you just need to go with your instincts in each case. Some people have approached me asking for money and I did not feel safe. I was once followed to my car by a middle-aged man (who was not speaking coherently) asking for money. Another woman actually looked for, found, and stole my wallet in the church office where I was working when I went to get her some water. Both of those instances made me feel sad for the people involved, but I can’t just put myself at risk if I have a bad feeling. I think everyone just needs to decide for themselves the best route in each situation.
 
Today Saint Isidore of Seville, Bishop, is commemorated. This man was considered outstanding in learning and virtue. The poor from the whole land of Spain would be at his doorstep day and night. I should expect the same. There is a grave warning in the Catechism to us who do not help the poor:

We cannot be united with God unless we freely choose to love him…Our Lord warns us that we shall be separated from him if we fail to meet the serious needs of the poor and the little ones who are his brethren. (CCC 1033)

Furthermore, there are three things to be concerned about according Fr. Alban Butler (an expert in saints) He said, “How many continually form to themselves a false conscience to palliate the enormity of gross sins, in spite of the light of reason and the gospel…” He mentions three objects to be concerned about in perception of a false conscience:

i) the passions, “These so strangely blind the understanding and pervert the judgment, that men fail not to extenuate the enormity of their crimes, and even to justify to themselves many violations of the divine law, where any passion hath a strong bias. Whatever men are eagerly bent to commit, they easily find pretences to call lawful.” (like spending and not having any for the poor, cf. “Whenever our interior life becomes caught up in its own interests and concerns, there is no longer room for others, no place for the poor.” Pope Francis, Evangelii Gaudium, 2)

ii) “A second cause of our practical errors are the example and false maxims of the world. We flatter ourselves that what everybody does must be lawful, as if the multitude of sinners could authorize any crime” I cannot count how many times I heard the false maxim of which to withhold money because he is drunk. If I were to believe that lie, I would be in danger.

iii) “A third source of this dreadful and common evil is an affected ignorance. Parents, magistrates, priests, and others, are frequently unacquainted with several essential obligations of their state. How often are Christians ignorant of many practical duties which they owe to God, their neighbors, and themselves!”

This is why we are to do constant penance in relation to God, neighbor, and ourself, that is prayer, almsgiving, and fasting (cf. CCC 1434)

The label of enabling is backed up by the spirit of the world. Keep the lives of the saints close to you.

Butler, A. (1903). The Lives of the Fathers, Martyrs and Other Principal Saints (Vol. 2, p. 22). New York: P. J. Kenedy.
 
pianistclare said:
We should give to the poor when we are able to.
It’s not our place to assume what their situation is. I’m more likely to give to a woman, since she may have children. There are untold numbers of homeless women and children.
They can have whatever I have on me when I see them.
Many people will tell you this attitude is wrong…but I don’t want to have to explain why I turned my back on the last day. It’s best to have good intentions.

Sometimes God tests us to see if we have really learned anything.
Click to expand...
Such a great response … God bless you.
 
Honestly, for me it’s a judgment call. If someone approaches me and asks for money, I’ll often try to oblige if they look coherent and sober. But if the person seems addled or drunk, I don’t. Not because I’m condemning someone with an addiction, but because I don’t want to give them the means to further hurt themselves. Giving a drug addict money is similar to handing a suicidal person a razor blade, in my opinion.

It’s a tough situation, though.
 
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