Chasing away impure thoughts

[mcliffor]

I understand that to willfully entertain impure thoughts for the purpose or arousal is a grave sin. But does that mean to entertain impure thoughts for another reasons is not a sin? Personally, when I’m troubled by an attraction to someone that seems misplaced, which as a candidate for the priesthood means just about every attraction, I try to chase it away. But if I look once and turn away, the desire persists in my mind.

But this can be solved by looking again until I no longer feel attracted to her, until I see her in a less flatering light and can think, “she’s not that attractive afterall.” I keep that image in my mind so that the impure desire disapears and the temptations go away. This might seem silly but it usually works, unless of course I look back and she seems prettier than I first thought! It occured to me that I might be commiting a grave sin by engaging with an attraction that leads to impure thoughts, even if my desire is to overcome those thoughts and not entertain them. “Checking out” a girl for the purpose of arousal if wrong, but what if we do the same thing for the opposite reason? Even if this is playing with fire, is it a mortal sin?

Do I also have to confess that I received communion with this on my conscience? I know what the three conditions for a mortal sin are, so you don’t need to mention them here. I want to know whether I’m being scrupulous or not.

 

[chevalier]

Talk to a priest. And a good one that’s orthodox and knows the teachings and the moral law. I think he’ll need to ask you more questions to help you out.

You probably already know attraction itself is not wrong. Being attracted is not wrong. Lusting is wrong and that’s giving in to disordered desires. I would say a “Wow, she’s hot!” reaction may be a shallow one, but I wouldn’t call it sinful, whereas demeaning and objectifying thoughts like “Wow, look at that body!” etc would move towards lusting. At what stage it would be a mortal sin I cannot tell you, though fantasising about sexual acts with that person would be, or looking for the purpose of being sexually aroused. I’m less wise when it comes to sharp borders, though. I sometimes have the same problem as you. I prefer to confess it rather than leave it alone, but in your case I do get the impression that you’re overreacting.