Chaste Cohabitation

  • Thread starter Thread starter Andrea_Day
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Life is hard and things aren’t purfect.
I have a chronic illness, get $600 a month in disability, will.never be able to meet my expenses on my own, am divorced after a 24 year catholic marriage in which I did everything “right”, and am dating a catholic man who treats me with kindly with compassion, understanding of my physical limits, who is generous with his time and money and gentle and so far seemingly someone who I could spend the rest of my life with. He’s already decided
He wants to a navigate the years ahead with me as his partner, lover, constant companion and friend and has budgeted for my future medical costs. We are not spring chickens out of the coop for the first time. He also was in a long term marriage in which his ex ran him through the ringer in divorce court. Result? He’s terrified of marriage! Maybe he will change his mind down the road but maybe he won’t. Should I drop him because we may never have that legal document and church wedding, knowing how rare it is to find a true companion at my age and especially one who expects no money from me and is willing to support me
Through my disease? Or count on Gods care and grace that HE knows this world is imperfect and people can’t always live by the rules?
 
Unsettled’s story proves that acribia may not be always called for. It can be unnecessarily hard on the individual. There is an old concept: “nemo ultra posse tenetur.” If there is a snowstorm, it is not a problem to miss mass. If someone puts your house on fire, it’s not a sin if you don’t love them anymore, even though we are required to love our enemies. It is human. Same goes for cohabitation. It may be hard if you know that it is not right in theory and even if you plan to be chaste, there is always a chance that you may have a weak moment, but: Do not throw first stones.
 
BornInMarch said:
That’s the great thing about Christianity; Jesus will forgive you if you slip up or do something stupid. It’s like a justice system that gives a pardon to everyone who applies.
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There is the danger of procrastination. You rely on confession and do what you want. You move in with your gf/bf, of course have sex with them. The reasoning is: I hope to marry him /her anyway one day. There is no problem with getting intimate already now. I can always go to confession in case it doesn’t work out.
What do you think about that?
 
Obviously it can be done.

Obviously it isn’t very prudent.

If people need to live together chastely, they have to adopt more circumspection than they will need during marriage.

If they have friends or family in the area, their same sex friends should be helping them out, instead. (Or their parish.)
 
Constantin said:
There is the danger of procrastination. You rely on confession and do what you want. You move in with your gf/bf, of course have sex with them. The reasoning is: I hope to marry him /her anyway one day. There is no problem with getting intimate already now. I can always go to confession in case it doesn’t work out.
What do you think about that?
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I’d say it’s an ill-advised activity. Even worse is the belief that you don’t even need to go to confession because you are baptized and therefore automatically saved (something some protestant denominations believe) or the belief that no sin is ever forgiven and therefore you might as well go whole hog (something the donatists, an extinct heresy from the early church days, believed).

However not every couple that cohabitates ends up having premarital sex. We are the masters of our bodies, not the other way around. Temptations can be resisted.
 
BornInMarch said:
That’s the great thing about Christianity; Jesus will forgive you if you slip up or do something stupid. It’s like a justice system that gives a pardon to everyone who applies.
Click to expand...
That analogy is an affront to justice and an insult to victims.
 
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