Chastity and "the real world"

[catholictiger]

I’ve gotten into a chasity vs contraceptives debate before, and it seems like it leads sometimes to getting to this idea while I may be on the winning side or the losing side of the debate (which doesn’t really matter) many times the people I will debate with will bring up this idea while it sounds great in theory it will never work in “the real world”. I find it at times difficult to argue against this kinda stuff because it is difficult to argue against.

I guess my questions are just for my own personal knowledge and getting to know how to defend my faith my.

But how does Chastity really work in the real world, is it a good enough program really to change the world. I sure believe it does, but I guess what are some solid concrete examples that show why it will work in the real world.

or is Chastity still just a theory JPII really pushed during his papacy and really hasn’t stood the test of the world yet.

Also what is the best way to approach a debate or person when they bring up this idea about “the real world” in debates really about anything because I think you can tie this argument to more then just Chastity.

 

[TimothyH]

I can give you my own real world perspective.

I have been celibate for over three years. I have been chaste (pure) to the extent that it is possible for the same time. Like any normal man, my thoughts do start to wander from time to time and I have to guard where I go and what I expose myself to. With God’s help, I have mastered myself, through it is a constant battle and I have a healthy fear of screwing up every day.

What has it done for me personally? Prior to God granting me the gift of self control, I would succumb to every little urge and act out sexually in one way or another - whenever the wind blows as the proverb goes. Now I am in control of my sexuality. I decide if and when my sexuality will be used. If I have sex, it will be my decision and not because of some uncontrollable urge telling me what to do. As far as physical contact with the opposite sex, fantasy, impurity with myself, pornography, and anything else one would care to mention, I decide when to pick it up and when to put it down. My sexuality obeys me, not the other way around.

And that is freedom from slavery.

It’s freedom from society telling me what I should and shouldn’t do. Freedom from my animal urges telling me what I should and shouldn’t do. I am finally in control and that is not theory. It is a great gift I have been given through the sacrament of reconcillation and my faith that Jesus Christ is the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world.

Personally, I’m not worried about changing the world through my own chastity and purity. I have enough trouble holding onto this precious gift myself. But it is a great example to my two daughters - that ordinary people can attain to purity and self control and not be slaves to their own urges or pressure from our sex crazed society. If changing the lives of my two daughters is a far as it goes, so be it. If it helps get me into heaven, that’s even better.

I recommend reading “When God Asks for an Undivided Heart” by Andrew Apostili, CFR. It is written for those who are discerning priesthood or who are already priests but it is definitely worth reading otherwise.

-Tim-

 

[TimothyH]

I just noticed your signature. Thanks for becoming a priest. Check your PM’s.

-Tim-

 

[PrayHarder]

There are millions of people around the world that lead chaste lives so I would say that it is not theory. I’m a lilttle confused what you mean by “the real world.” After all, don’t we all live in the real world? There are people in all different walks of life, colors, ethnicities, etc. that lead chaste lives. Someone can’t look at these millions of people and say they their experiences don’t count because they don’t live in the real world.

I would try turning the debate around. If someone says chasity doesn’t work in the real world then ask him/her about the millions that live that way and are happy. I think if the debate goes on long enough and you can keep your sanity you will find that many people have a very twisted idea of “the real world” and are really just projecting their biases and opinions on what they think they real world should be.

 

[catholictiger]

what I mean by the real world is that people say that while it sounds great in theory but when you look at it in practice it just doesn’t work

does that help explain it at all.

 

[PrayHarder]

what I mean by the real world is that people say that while it sounds great in theory but when you look at it in practice it just doesn’t work

does that help explain it at all.

I figured that’s what you meant. My previous comment still stands as there are millions of examples where chasity does work in practice.

 

[catholictiger]

I figured that’s what you meant. My previous comment still stands as there are millions of examples where chasity does work in practice.

thanks yeah I know works I guess when you discuss this with people they try and find what ever way they can to in their mind not accept this teaching.

 

[Catholic_Dude]

You will very likely enjoy this article written by a Catholic named Randy:
** The Palins and Chastity **

Track Palin and his wife Britta apparently conceived before they were married or even engaged. Bristol Palin is making a lot of money talking to teens about chastity after getting pregnant as a teen. This is not unusual. Often youth leaders who talk the most about chastity did not keep their virginity until marriage. Teens notice that. Certainly those asserting teen chastity is unrealistic have noticed. So what is going wrong?

The problem is the tie between sex and procreation has been cut. Protestants and many Catholics don’t talk about being ready for sex as being ready to raise a child. They talk about waiting for marriage but they are unclear on what precisely happens on your wedding day. Marriage is not understood as a sacrament and divorce is seen as a fact of life. So what is marriage? It does not mean openness to life. It does not mean a special grace from God to join you together. It does not mean staying together no matter what. So why wait with sex until marriage when it means so little?

The most concrete reason is children. It is easy to understand that God intended sex and procreation to be linked. It is the way we are made. It is intuitive that sex should not be manipulated just for kicks. People get that it is something sacred. So the argument against contraception is much easier to make than the argument that contraception is OK but you should wait for marriage anyway.

From a teen point of view marriage seems like easy sex for adults. Why should they be expected to exercise self control? They are less mature. Their hormone levels, at least for males, are higher. So why is chastity for teens while adults get this big out with marriage, divorce, and contraception? Does it not make much more sense to say sexual self control is simply something they will need in every state of life? Marriage and celibacy would both be seen as hard roads that you would only go down if you were really called. Guess what? That way you end up with strong families and solid vocations instead of broken homes and an abuse crisis.

So chastity as it is taught now is unrealistic. Not because it is too hard. The problem is it is too easy. It is a compromise with the culture that has left Christian sexual ethics incoherent. People can do hard things if they have a good reason. They do very little if they are given a story that does not ring true. If young men know they are remaining pure so they can be good fathers or good priests they will rise to the challenge. If they think their future is in a contraceptive marriage where they won’t need self control then they won’t work hard to develop it.