B
baltobetsy
Guest
First, if you didn’t know a thing was sinful before you did it, it was not a mortal sin for you at the time. For a sin to be mortal, it must be seriously wrong, you must know that, and you must decide freely to do it anyway. So if you’re just learning that certain things are sinful, you did not incur the guilt of mortal sin the earlier times you did them. Now that you know, however, you would sin if you did them.Okay, I’m starting to learn this a bit better. It’s still kind of confusing though. Things I didn’t know were sins before are suddenly grave sins. Wow. Makes me wonder who invented this whole mortal sin/venial sin though. I don’t agree with some of that, but I guess if I’m going to be a Catholic I have no choice but to do everything the Church tells me to. And it’s not only that I don’t the priests, it’s just embarrassing to confess sins of that nature. I don’t exactly feel comfortable talking about sexual things with priests. It would be a little easier if it was a woman, because she would understand better. But this IS a male dominated religion, so I guess I just have to accept that and go do it.![]()
Second, when you confess your sins, you really don’t have to do much “talking” about sexual things or anything else, with the priest. Just name the sins with the approximate number of times you’ve done it and move on. If you’ve been doing something for a very long time, you can estimate, for example, twice a week for three years. Unless you want to ask for advice, you don’t have to do much talking about your sins. A good idea is to tell the most embarrassing thing first, so you 1) get it over with, 2) don’t chicken out and 3) don’t leave it to be the last thing you think the priest will remember. Actually, he won’t remember any of it - priests hear many confessions and rarely remember anything specific. Some say they have a special grace to forget everything they hear. It’s very important to tell all your mortal sins, because intentionally leaving any of them out invalidates your confession and is another mortal sin in itself.
Third, I hope you have some time over your school break to do some reading to help you grow in love for Jesus and the Church. When you deepen your understanding, I think you’ll feel less of that twinge of resentment I perceive in your post. Here’s a link to a really good book to get you started. After that, you might try reading something more specific about what the Church teaches, like the Catechism of the Catholic Church (probably too long for you while you’re in school) or Catholicism for Dummies, which is actually a very fine book by respected authors, and is certainly not for real dummies. It is not, however, interchangeable with the Complete Idiot’s Guide to Catholicism, which is not reliable at all.
Don’t feel like you’re caught in a web of rules and traps - remember first and foremost that God loves you and wants you with Him for all eternity, and He has given you the Church as a help to get there, not a way to keep you out.
God bless you!
Betsy
It did feel so good when he said “I absolve you in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.” As well I am also working on getting the courage up to ask my mom if she can start dropping me off on Sundays at Church. I don’t know how to ask her, I’m still working on that part:shrug: , and if you have any advice for that that would be great. Thanks for all of the advice!!