Chastity in Marriage when Normal Sex isn't possible

[Eutychius]

We are an older, long-married couple. My wife fell this summer and broke her femur. Due to that and her age, it t seems likely that she will no longer be able to tolerate normal sexual marital relations. I am sure she will not WANT to. Although I am older I still have a modicum of libido left and it will be quite difficult for me to be celibate for the rest of my life. (I have been for many months now.) Is it a mortal sin if I either: a) my wife is willing to fully pleasure me in other ways or, b) I pleasure myself apart from my wife. Am I to accept that celibacy is a cross I must bear? I don’t want private opinions as an answer. I would like to know what The Church teaches in this regard. I must surely not be the only person to ever face this dilemma.

 

[1ke]

No we may not substitute other activity in place of intercourse-- masterbation, oral/manual stimulation, etc. These are all grave matter and a sin against the sixth commandment.

So, yes, you may be called to live in continence for a period of time until your wife is better. And if she is unable to have intercourse any longer, yes you are called to be continent, and vice versa if it is the husband who can no longer have inercourse.

 

[Eutychius]

Thank you for the response. That’s what I was afraid of. . . I accept it and I certainly don’t presume to question God’s word - but in view of the fact that I can no longer emit ANYTHING due to having had two “Trans Urethral Resection Procedures” (TURPS) for prostate problems - it seems to be a particularly onerous burden. But then . . . so was Christ’s passion and crucifixion.

 

[katy]

No we may not substitute other activity in place of intercourse-- masterbation, oral/manual stimulation, etc. These are all grave matter and a sin against the sixth commandment.

So, yes, you may be called to live in continence for a period of time until your wife is better. And if she is unable to have intercourse any longer, yes you are called to be continent, and vice versa if it is the husband who can no longer have inercourse.

That part is also true, I checked after my husband’s prostate surgery. It can certainly be a cross either way.

 

[Eutychius]

Thank you. I imagine that in some cases it is a reciprocal cross.

 

[stephe1987]

My advice is to take it one day at a time. These things will be a temptation, but do not think about “no sex ever again” because that can be overwhelming and it might not even be true because sometimes things change.