Chastity/Marriage/Dating

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PrayerGal

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Hi Forum friends. Happy new year!

I was doing some reflecting today and I couldn’t help but feel a bit melancholic in the areas of dating/chastity/marriage. Allow me to give some background. I am in my early thirties living a chaste life. I am happy with my decision but it seems that finding a dating partner who is comfortable with my chaste life, is quite difficult…I never thought that I would be unwed by this time in my life and sometimes, when I am feeling as I am right now…it is easy to question as to whether I am doing something wrong in the dating process…not so much about chastity, as perhaps the approach in talking about it with the person. It has gotten to the point where quite frankly, I don’t even want to date anymore. The thought of marriage and having kids is now a distant thought even though I always desired to have a family of my own. I should note that in my early twenties, I went through a major conversion process…Not that I was a party animal, but I would be the gal at the bar pointing out all of the “hot” men and flirting with every guy and my gal friends knew I always had my eye on the next guy coming through the door. During my conversion process, I no longer wanted to look at men like that. I wanted to respect a man and I wanted my actions/words to be consistent. I even looked at flirting as not quite genuine. People might say I’m going overboard, but truly, I saw how the sin of lust kept me from being the woman Christ wanted me to be and so I feel like I can see it a mile away in others.

I find myself weeping every time I come back from a date because I see the ‘sin of lust’ at play in the man sitting across from me at the table. It doesn’t help that I am in an industry for my work that tends to breed this type of belief, or attempts to objectify women, etc. As a Catholic woman, I feel like I am battling this constantly. I am also very sensitive to this because, sadly I come from a family where divorce and infidelity took place and so I have my own fears in marrying the wrong one who won’t be faithful. I also was in a relationship at one time for a long time and my boyfriend cheated on me…people joke because they say “well, he wasn’t getting sex” and it just makes me so sad. I try to reassure jokingly to a man I might be dating that I am a passionate woman and am definitely not worried about that when the time comes to share sex with my future husband…I think I just need some prayers right now as I continue to lead a chaste life…and prayers for men out there who struggle with the sin of lust. I believe it is this sin that is breaking down marriages, relationships, etc. We have such a sex obsessed culture. There is someone in my life who I wish I could be dating, but sadly, he says he’s not ready…and that seems to be the response of many. MEN are not ready! Like, masculinity is totally dead…we need to pray for Men. I also want to take note that I think there could be the possibility that men might be seeing some of my ‘woundedness’ and sometimes I wonder if I project that onto a man. Like, the fact that I am sensitive to these areas and get really angry/resentful (thanks to my supposed Father and his actions). I have gone to therapy to heal those wounds but I do think it’s a constant process.

I would love anyone’s prayers and insights about what I have just written…and perhaps prayer for my future husband. I know I wrote a lot. Thanks for listening 🙂
 
It seems situations like yours come up often on this forum, so you are not alone. Perhaps you could try a Catholic dating site to find someone who shares your faith and beliefs on chastity and marriage. I will pray for you.
 
Pax vobis. A cousin’s advice is to enjoy being with yourself and others will also enjoy your company. That may vary dependent on environment.
I find myself weeping every time I come back from a date because I see the ‘sin of lust’ at play in the man sitting across from me at the table.
Click to expand...
I don’t doubt your judgments except the mere ‘attempt to objectify’, which need not be from sexual or animal desires. Ask whether it isn’t just a heightened sensuality or weak kind of pride showing through.
 
PrayerGal said:
Hi Forum friends. Happy new year!

I try to reassure jokingly to a man I might be dating that I am a passionate woman and am definitely not worried about that when the time comes to share sex with my future husband…I think I just need some prayers right now as I continue to lead a chaste life…and prayers for men out there who struggle with the sin of lust. I believe it is this sin that is breaking down marriages, relationships, etc. We have such a sex obsessed culture. There is someone in my life who I wish I could be dating, but sadly, he says he’s not ready…and that seems to be the response of many.

I would love anyone’s prayers and insights about what I have just written…and perhaps prayer for my future husband. I know I wrote a lot. Thanks for listening 🙂
Click to expand...
Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have
faith in God; have faith also in me.
John 14:1

Please do not feel the need to joke about this. There is absolutely no reason to try and reassure a man about your future married sexual relationship. While it is true that a lot of men are just looking for sex (as are many women), there are lots of men out there that would love to meet a woman like you. Perhaps you are looking in the wrong places? Perhaps, right away, you might be coming across as a woman wanting to “catch” a man before it’s to late? If God intends it, you’ll meet your future husband when you’re not looking. My suggestion is to wipe it out of your mind and when you go on a date just do it for the fun of it. And, I agree with the previous poster to try a Christian dating site where you’ll be more apt to find a date with high morals.
God Bless you!

Jesus, Lover of chastity, Mary, Mother most pure, and Joseph, chaste guardian of the Virgin, to you I come at this hour, begging you to plead with God for me. I earnestly wish to be pure in thought, word and deed in imitation of your own holy purity.
Obtain for me, then, a deep sense of modesty which will be reflected in my external conduct. Protect my eyes, the windows of my soul, from anything that might dim the luster of a heart that must mirror only Christlike purity.
And when the “Bread of Angels becomes the Bread of me” in my heart at Holy Communion, seal it forever against the suggestions of sinful pleasures.
Heart of Jesus, Fount of all purity, have mercy on us.
Amen
 
Dear Blessed Mother Mary,

Intercede for “PrayerGal” that she may be guided in the way of God’s holy will, and that she receive discernment, wisdom, and prudence.

Jesus…we trust in You!
 
:gopray:

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end
Amen.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen

:signofcross:
 
Prayer for Purity

Jesus, Lover of chastity,
Mary, Mother most pure,
and Joseph, chaste guardian of the Virgin,
to you I ask at this hour,
begging you to plead with God for me.
I earnestly wish to be pure in thought,
word and deed in imitation of your own holy purity.

Obtain for me, then, a deep sense of modesty
which will be reflected in my external conduct.
Protect my eyes, the windows of my soul,
from anything that might dim the luster of a heart
that must mirror only Christlike purity.

And when the “Bread of Angels” becomes
the “Bread of Me” in my heart at Holy Communion,
seal it forever against the suggestions of sinful pleasures.

Heart of Jesus, Fount of All Purity,
have mercy on us. Amen.

:gopray2:

​
 
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. :gopray:
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†
 
I agree that you might be looking in the wrong places. Leave it in God’s hands.

Prayer for a Future Spouse

O Jesus, lover of the young, the dearest Friend I have, in all confidence I open my heart to You to beg Your light and assistance in the important task of planning my future. Give me the light of Your grace, that I may decide wisely concerning the person who is to be my partner through life. Dearest Jesus, send me such a one whom in Your divine wisdom You judge best suited to be united with me in marriage. May his character reflect some of the traits of Your own Sacred Heart. May he be upright, loyal, pure, sincere and noble, so that with united efforts and with pure and unselfish love we both may strive to perfect ourselves in soul and body, as well as the children it may please You to entrust to our care. Bless our friendship before marriage, that sin may have no part in it. May our mutual love bind us so closely, that our future home may ever be most like Your own at Nazareth.

O Mary Immaculate, sweet Mother of the young, to your special care I entrust the decision I am to make as to my future husband. You are my guiding Star! Direct me to the person with whom I can best cooperate in doing God’s Holy Will, with whom I can live in peace, love and harmony in this life, and attain to eternal joys in the next.
Amen.
 
Praying for you and for all men and women.

our Father who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
Forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us
Lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil.
Amen
 
I pray for all who are STRUGGLING to live a
chaste life.

Our Father, who is in heaven,
Your Name be held holy,
Your kingdom come,
Your will be done of earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses as
we forgive those who trespass against us
and lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil.
Amen.
 
Praying for you

Remember,
O most gracious Virgin Mary,
that never was it known that any one who fled to thy protection,
implored thy help or sought thy intercession,
was left unaided.
Inspired with this confidence,
I fly unto thee,
O Virgin of virgins my Mother;
to thee do I come,
before thee I stand,
sinful and sorrowful;
O Mother of thy Word Incarnate,
despise not my petitions,
but in thy clemency hear and answer me.
Amen

Hail Mary, full of grace,
The Lord is with Thee;
Blessed art thou among women,
And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
Pray for us sinners,
Now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Our Father,
who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name;
thy kingdom come;
thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.
 
:gopray:

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end
Amen.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen

:signofcross:
 
:gopray:

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end
Amen.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen

:signofcross:
 
PrayerGal said:
Hi Forum friends. Happy new year!

I was doing some reflecting today and I couldn’t help but feel a bit melancholic in the areas of dating/chastity/marriage. Allow me to give some background. I am in my early thirties living a chaste life. I am happy with my decision but it seems that finding a dating partner who is comfortable with my chaste life, is quite difficult…I never thought that I would be unwed by this time in my life and sometimes, when I am feeling as I am right now…it is easy to question as to whether I am doing something wrong in the dating process…not so much about chastity, as perhaps the approach in talking about it with the person. It has gotten to the point where quite frankly, I don’t even want to date anymore. The thought of marriage and having kids is now a distant thought even though I always desired to have a family of my own. I should note that in my early twenties, I went through a major conversion process…Not that I was a party animal, but I would be the gal at the bar pointing out all of the “hot” men and flirting with every guy and my gal friends knew I always had my eye on the next guy coming through the door. During my conversion process, I no longer wanted to look at men like that. I wanted to respect a man and I wanted my actions/words to be consistent. I even looked at flirting as not quite genuine. People might say I’m going overboard, but truly, I saw how the sin of lust kept me from being the woman Christ wanted me to be and so I feel like I can see it a mile away in others.

I find myself weeping every time I come back from a date because I see the ‘sin of lust’ at play in the man sitting across from me at the table. It doesn’t help that I am in an industry for my work that tends to breed this type of belief, or attempts to objectify women, etc. As a Catholic woman, I feel like I am battling this constantly. I am also very sensitive to this because, sadly I come from a family where divorce and infidelity took place and so I have my own fears in marrying the wrong one who won’t be faithful. I also was in a relationship at one time for a long time and my boyfriend cheated on me…people joke because they say “well, he wasn’t getting sex” and it just makes me so sad. I try to reassure jokingly to a man I might be dating that I am a passionate woman and am definitely not worried about that when the time comes to share sex with my future husband…I think I just need some prayers right now as I continue to lead a chaste life…and prayers for men out there who struggle with the sin of lust. I believe it is this sin that is breaking down marriages, relationships, etc. We have such a sex obsessed culture. There is someone in my life who I wish I could be dating, but sadly, he says he’s not ready…and that seems to be the response of many. MEN are not ready! Like, masculinity is totally dead…we need to pray for Men. I also want to take note that I think there could be the possibility that men might be seeing some of my ‘woundedness’ and sometimes I wonder if I project that onto a man. Like, the fact that I am sensitive to these areas and get really angry/resentful (thanks to my supposed Father and his actions). I have gone to therapy to heal those wounds but I do think it’s a constant process.

I would love anyone’s prayers and insights about what I have just written…and perhaps prayer for my future husband. I know I wrote a lot. Thanks for listening 🙂
Click to expand...
We may not give insights and advice here. Am praying for your intentions. . . . .

:signofcross:
Prayer to Saint Michael the Archangel
St Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle;
be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the Devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray
and do thou, O prince of the heavenly host,
by the power of God,
thrust into Hell Satan
and all the other evil spirits
who prowl about the world
seeking the ruin of souls.
Amen.

The Memorare
Remember,
O most gracious Virgin Mary,
that never was it known,
that anyone who fled to thy protection,
implored thy help
or sought thy intercession,
was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee,
O Virgin of virgins, my Mother.
To thee I come, before thee I stand,
sinful and sorrowful.
O Mother of the Word Incarnate,
despise not my petition,
but in thy mercy hear and answer me.
Amen.

:signofcross:
 
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