Chastity/NFP question

[DailyBread]

I remember this being posted earlier on a form wayback when and it had some good advice… also was written by John Kippley himself so probably well researched and discussed with many conservative authorities before he publisehed it:
marysremnant.org/News/Arc…Sexuality.html.
And I agree with others saying it depends on the couple and the likelihood to lead to sinful sexual expressions.

 

[starrball]

Anna:
We would be open to children if God decided we should have one anyway. I realize I’m still in school, but FH has secured a good full time job with full benefits, and can support us. I have to finish my degree, mostly to please my mom, and I’m 3/4 of the way there, but all I want to be is a wife and mother, and I’m feel I’m at the point in my life where I want to take this step, I’ve wanted to for a while. I’m ready to do this.

Elizabeth Anne
Thank you, I agree completely, and was really thinking about that this morning…and coming to those conclusions myself, after wondering otherwise.

Also, I love the discussion this topic has created. It’s really interesting to read.

 

[Dan_Grelinger]

I understand what you have cited and have read it before. The catechism does not say that delaying having a child is sinful, and I really believe that it is wrong for you to say that it is, giving the impression that the Church teaches that.

With equal belief, I believe that it is wrong to suggest it is OK, when the catechism does not say that it is.

Dan, you are making some assumptions here that cannot be true for every couple. It may be very likely that a couple enters into marriage ready to accept the call to parenthood without actively pursuing it. They may desire children very much, but for certain reasons they may decide that it is in their family’s best interest to pursue that imminently.

Perhaps you misunderderstood my post. When I say ‘not likely’, you change my meaning to “every couple”. If what I say is incorrect, you will not have to change what I said to make it incorrect. A question. You suggest that there are just circumstances for getting married while having the intention to actively prevent first pregancy. Please let me know what you believe is just cause. What is the urgency to get married when a couple has decided that having children at this time is not in the best interest of their children? If this is truly the decision, why take the risk of bringing children into the world when we are not ready for them. I don’t understand the good of that.

Instead your interpretation of Church teaching on procreation would have us delay the wedding. We would have had to either 1. plan a wedding while planning a move across the country and holding down full-time jobs or 2. move across the country separately, find separate apartments and then hold the wedding later. Neither was the best option for us. We were ready to get married and were ready to welcome children whenever God wills it. We are continually discerning His will in all things.

I honestly can say that I do not understand your reasoning. Is what you have done the very best for your children? Only seeing what you have said, it appears your marriage timing was for you. The delay of children after the marriage can be for them, but how was the timing of the marriage for them? I hope that your children really took first priority. It would seem that if children take the first priority, we would get married when we were ready for them, not before. They do have a habit of coming when we engage in the very activity designed to bring them.

I would really urge you, Dan, not to make it sound like couples who are using NFP to delay the birth of their first child are just out to get their kicks and are not thinking about their future children at all. It’s just not true.

How were your actions in the best interest of your children?

One last thing I must say. I have done what you have done. I do not speak without experience, years of reflection, and study. The perspective of 22 years may give you a different viewpoint.

Sincerely, Dan