Chastity

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rhkrueger

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I am a 69 year old male and have been widowed for nearly 7 years. Since my wife’s passing I have not been in any relationship. It seems to be getting more difficult for me to stay away from internet porn and what that ultimetly leads to. I did not choose the vow of chastity, we were married for 36 years. I have been placed into that situation and am having a hard time with it. I am a life long Catholic so I know the churche’s teachings on this. I also pray the rosary daily along with my other prayers. Any advice/help would be greatly appreciated.
 
rhkrueger said:
I am a 69 year old male and have been widowed for nearly 7 years. Since my wife’s passing I have not been in any relationship. It seems to be getting more difficult for me to stay away from internet porn and what that ultimetly leads to. I did not choose the vow of chastity, we were married for 36 years. I have been placed into that situation and am having a hard time with it. I am a life long Catholic so I know the churche’s teachings on this. I also pray the rosary daily along with my other prayers. Any advice/help would be greatly appreciated.
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Rh, the evil one is going to use the most effective tool he can to destroy our peace with God. You must immediately pray for the perseverance to continue in your love of God and growth in holiness.Daily mass if possible and visits to Jesus in perpetual adoration Chapel if one is available.God will be with you through your difficulty in this, trust Him with all your heart.:)Peace, Carlan
 
Find a trusted friend that will help you with being accountable. Install some adult content blocker that has a feature that will email your trusted friend any time you visit a questionable site.

You may have to have him install it so he can set any needed passwords preventing you from disabling it.

Avoid temptation. If you are on the computer and start feeling tempted, stand up and run away!

Hail Mary’s always seem to help me when I start feeling tempted. Something about them seems to push these types of temptations right out of my mind better than other prayers for some reason. Find what works for you!

Its not easy but it IS possible!

Also CONFESSION!
 
Every person is called to chastity appropriate to their state in life, married people included. Chastity is a virtue, and one every person is called to practice. Marriage isn’t a license to be unchaste. Chastity takes on different dimensions based upon one’s state in life.

Your current single state means you will practice chastity differently than when you were married. If you did not discipline your will while married in this regard, you will almost certainly find it difficult to discipline yourself now.

If your computer is a method for you to sin, put a filter on it or GET RID OF IT. Visit www.dads.org who have helped many men beat pornography addictions.
 
rhkrueger,

I feel your pain and I don’t want to “one up” you, but I am somewhat younger than you and my wife is living but refuses to have relations with me for several years now. One thing that has been a great help to me is the understanding that we are called not to be good, but to be holy. As long as I was struggling to merely avoid sin I was miserable and often stumbled. My life began to turn around when I read Lumen gentium and understood that the object of life is holiness.

It is difficult to explain in this limited format. A friend who was a smoker offered this analogy from his experience: When he was trying to give up cigarettes he was unhappy and unsuccessful. When he came to see it as embracing health and well-being he succeeded.

AMDG
jsa
 
rhkrueger said:
I am a 69 year old male and have been widowed for nearly 7 years. Since my wife’s passing I have not been in any relationship. It seems to be getting more difficult for me to stay away from internet porn and what that ultimetly leads to. I did not choose the vow of chastity, we were married for 36 years. I have been placed into that situation and am having a hard time with it. I am a life long Catholic so I know the churche’s teachings on this. I also pray the rosary daily along with my other prayers. Any advice/help would be greatly appreciated.
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If the problem is turning into an addiction, then remove the source of the problem - the computer. Then get out and meet someone in the real world.
 
Considering priests have to deal with this, you should get an opinion from one of them.
 
Hello and thanks for posting. I was married for 12 yrs before my spouse had an affair and left me. I didn’t “choose” chastity either; it was imposed upon me, and I was angry and resentful. Let’s face it: I like sex!!!

That has been approx. 6 yrs ago now. I have become ok with the idea of no masturbation or sexual stimulation of any kind, but it took some time and some work on my part. I’m still a work in progress and have a “fall” everyonce in a while, but I get up and continue on.

Daily mass, daily rosary, daily prayer, frequent confession. Oh yeah - - - and time!

It doesn’t happen overnight, but it won’t happen at all if you don’t try it one day at a time!
 
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