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darius25
Guest
I didn’t really know where to pose my problem, but I figured this board might have the highest percentage of people that are chaste. First off, I am not a Catholic, and my question doesn’t have anything to do with Catholicism and chastity(although i have great respect for Catholic priests for being celibate), so sorry for that, but i guess i just need to vent/get (name removed by moderator)ut from others that are chaste… anyways…
I have been chaste(no sex/masturbation/not even looking at porn or anything like that) for a little over one year. I found sex to be un-fulfilling spiritually for the most part. I additionally do not drink(not even a glass of wine here or there) or indulge in drugs of any kind. I don’t feel “tempted” by these things anymore. My desire for restraint is greater than those previous desires(which are no longer really desires)…I find that sex/drugs/even poor diet choice have a way of severely disrupting real spiritual growth. My experience with chastity has made me a MUCH more forgiving human being… I find myself very humble and accommodating to the suffering of others… everything has become much more subtle and i find easy to find the beauty in everyone(sometimes i feel overwhelmed by it). I don’t feel hostile even to those that would be hostile to me, and i feel revenge is something that would now be beneath me.
Sometimes, however, I feel alone with all this and there is no one who really understands what it is like to be chaste(my friends would not understand and would think I’m really weird/gay/whatever for not chasing after girls). On a very real level though, i feel a very close connection to Christ, which is odd because I am not a Christian(or religious in any way)… culminating in a dream in which i really thought I felt the compassion of Christ in this overwhelming warm embracing feeling(starting out externally as this red hue in the sky that turned inward). I don’t know what to make of it really because I could never allow myself to “believe” in God in the traditional way.
I just don’t know what to do with myself at this point. The hardest thing to do is to embrace solitude and love it. But i always yearn to interact with others(even though the interaction is a rather ugly experience… people always giving others the evil eye, judging others, quick to anger, unconcerned really with the feelings of those they interact with and more concerned with an ongoing superficial “script” that they feel they must play out in order to feel “normal”…I’ve experienced this with Christians and non-Christians alike)…Christianity does not seem to make the average guy much better than the non-believer,imo…but that’s really neither here nor there…anyways…
The saddest thing lately has been my relationship with this girl. She wants to be more than friends and I tell her I can’t. I don’t tell her why because I don’t think she’d understand. She is actually extremely attractive and has a great body and she knows it and can’t understand why I(a good lookin guy if i may say so lol) doesn’t want to have sex with her. This all lead me to thinking that there is some possible difference between love with sex and love without it… and more specifically, those that require sex in to love fully and completely. The sad thing for me, is to know that she will only love me completely if we have a sexual relationship… I’m not saying that this is a bad thing, just an unfortunate thing for me right now because i feel so alone in all this.
I know most here will say there is complete love in friendship(and i agree and I think this might even be a higher form of love), but from my experience with women, it seems that most require sex to achieve fulfillment in love. Sex leads to children. And this is the ultimate goal of women really( i don’t mean for that to sound misogynist) .
Anyways, enough complaining… does anyone else have any experiences with chastity that want to share?
I have been chaste(no sex/masturbation/not even looking at porn or anything like that) for a little over one year. I found sex to be un-fulfilling spiritually for the most part. I additionally do not drink(not even a glass of wine here or there) or indulge in drugs of any kind. I don’t feel “tempted” by these things anymore. My desire for restraint is greater than those previous desires(which are no longer really desires)…I find that sex/drugs/even poor diet choice have a way of severely disrupting real spiritual growth. My experience with chastity has made me a MUCH more forgiving human being… I find myself very humble and accommodating to the suffering of others… everything has become much more subtle and i find easy to find the beauty in everyone(sometimes i feel overwhelmed by it). I don’t feel hostile even to those that would be hostile to me, and i feel revenge is something that would now be beneath me.
Sometimes, however, I feel alone with all this and there is no one who really understands what it is like to be chaste(my friends would not understand and would think I’m really weird/gay/whatever for not chasing after girls). On a very real level though, i feel a very close connection to Christ, which is odd because I am not a Christian(or religious in any way)… culminating in a dream in which i really thought I felt the compassion of Christ in this overwhelming warm embracing feeling(starting out externally as this red hue in the sky that turned inward). I don’t know what to make of it really because I could never allow myself to “believe” in God in the traditional way.
I just don’t know what to do with myself at this point. The hardest thing to do is to embrace solitude and love it. But i always yearn to interact with others(even though the interaction is a rather ugly experience… people always giving others the evil eye, judging others, quick to anger, unconcerned really with the feelings of those they interact with and more concerned with an ongoing superficial “script” that they feel they must play out in order to feel “normal”…I’ve experienced this with Christians and non-Christians alike)…Christianity does not seem to make the average guy much better than the non-believer,imo…but that’s really neither here nor there…anyways…
The saddest thing lately has been my relationship with this girl. She wants to be more than friends and I tell her I can’t. I don’t tell her why because I don’t think she’d understand. She is actually extremely attractive and has a great body and she knows it and can’t understand why I(a good lookin guy if i may say so lol) doesn’t want to have sex with her. This all lead me to thinking that there is some possible difference between love with sex and love without it… and more specifically, those that require sex in to love fully and completely. The sad thing for me, is to know that she will only love me completely if we have a sexual relationship… I’m not saying that this is a bad thing, just an unfortunate thing for me right now because i feel so alone in all this.
I know most here will say there is complete love in friendship(and i agree and I think this might even be a higher form of love), but from my experience with women, it seems that most require sex to achieve fulfillment in love. Sex leads to children. And this is the ultimate goal of women really( i don’t mean for that to sound misogynist) .
Anyways, enough complaining… does anyone else have any experiences with chastity that want to share?
