Chastity

  • Thread starter Thread starter iawoveuooo
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
I

iawoveuooo

Guest
Dear Brothers and Sisters,

I would like to ask about your experience or opinions about how it is possible to make chastity easier before marriage, how you dealt with it or what you suggest doing.
I want to ask about a specific situation, do you think it is possible to sleep together for the couple, dressed fully in clothes, maybe just in the same room, without causing too much temptation to each other? Does it depend on the level of faith, commitment to each other, respect for each other, or on any other things, on your opinion?
I’m a woman, so if my boyfriend is asking to sleep in different rooms, even if stay on the same premises during a trip, let’s say, (only me and him going there) or if he wanted to be in the same room and I didn’t consider it was a good idea, should we discuss it further or just accept each other’s opinion without discussing more or explanations?

Thank you in advance for your answers. One more thing, we both really want to keep chastity before marriage and we wish to do everything that is necessary for that.

God bless you all.
 
iawoveuooo said:
Dear Brothers and Sisters,

I would like to ask about your experience or opinions about how it is possible to make chastity easier before marriage, how you dealt with it or what you suggest doing.
I want to ask about a specific situation, do you think it is possible to sleep together for the couple, dressed fully in clothes, maybe just in the same room, without causing too much temptation to each other? Does it depend on the level of faith, commitment to each other, respect for each other, or on any other things, on your opinion?
I’m a woman, so if my boyfriend is asking to sleep in different rooms, even if stay on the same premises during a trip, let’s say, (only me and him going there) or if he wanted to be in the same room and I didn’t consider it was a good idea, should we discuss it further or just accept each other’s opinion without discussing more or explanations?

Thank you in advance for your answers. One more thing, we both really want to keep chastity before marriage and we wish to do everything that is necessary for that.

God bless you all.
Click to expand...
Is it possible? Maybe. Is it advisable? Definitely not.

You should definitely be on the same page as the person you are dating when it comes to how you will handle temptations to be unchaste. If you’re not and have difficulty coming to an agreement, that is a very good sign that you should not continue the relationship.

Keep in mind too that you and your boyfriend may have differing ideas on what is tempting. Each of you should, out of charity, avoid things that would be a near occasion of sin for the other, even if it isn’t tempting to you.
 
Although the early Amish (and a few groups still existing) practiced “bundling” i.e., a couple sleeping fully clothed in the same bed (sometimes with a board between them!) that was their practice, and was also carefully chaperoned! I don’t think that a couple nowadays (unless they are Old Order Amish) should do so, since temptation is most certainly in the bed with them!
(I think especially for the man). I advise discussing this with him, and tell him you don’t think the temptation is worth the risk to chastity for either of you. If you must travel together (for business or pleasure) separate rooms (with locks) are best. Better yet, not traveling together (as for vacations) is a better idea. My husband, prior to our marriage took me to meet some relatives for a weekend. He told them that I must have a separate room. They put him in the room next to theirs and me at the other end of the house! (And told him they were very light sleepers!!) Funny, but he was more protective of my reputation and chastity than most men would be! He did not want anyone to be able to gossip about me, or make suggestions of improper behavior. (And I was 53 and he was 64 and he still felt that he must treat me as a very young virgin!) We had a beautiful marriage until his death, and no scandal attached to our names.
 
Postpone traveling together until after the wedding. We call it a honeymoon. 😃
 
Focus on getting each other to heaven rather than where you go from innocent to corrupt.
 
Used2beSherryG said:
Postpone traveling together until after the wedding. We call it a honeymoon. 😃
Click to expand...
That’s just not practical for a lot of couples. My husband and I met in a city very far from our families. When it was time to meet his family we had to make a 6.5 hour trip each way. For him to meet mine it was an 8.5 hour drive.
 
iawoveuooo said:
Dear Brothers and Sisters,

I would like to ask about your experience or opinions about how it is possible to make chastity easier before marriage, how you dealt with it or what you suggest doing.
I want to ask about a specific situation, do you think it is possible to sleep together for the couple, dressed fully in clothes, maybe just in the same room, without causing too much temptation to each other? Does it depend on the level of faith, commitment to each other, respect for each other, or on any other things, on your opinion?
I’m a woman, so if my boyfriend is asking to sleep in different rooms, even if stay on the same premises during a trip, let’s say, (only me and him going there) or if he wanted to be in the same room and I didn’t consider it was a good idea, should we discuss it further or just accept each other’s opinion without discussing more or explanations?

Thank you in advance for your answers. One more thing, we both really want to keep chastity before marriage and we wish to do everything that is necessary for that.

God bless you all.
Click to expand...
In my experience, it’s a huge temptation to stay in the same room. My husband and I did it on two occasions and we got through it okay, but it involved some very stern and uncomfortable conversations. Yes, I think it is a worse temptation for most men. I honestly didn’t think it would be such a big deal, but it turns out that men really do only have one thing on their minds. I think a couple should avoid staying in the same room if at all possible, until after they are married.
 
If it is necessary to travel long distances to visit each other’s relatives, that’s fine. But when you arrive, or if you stop for a night on the way, it’s best to have separate rooms. Why tempt yourselves? You would regret it later if you gave into the temptation. And you will respect each other much more if you maintain chastity until marriage. What if you gave into temptation, then for some reason did not marry? Then, someday, you must explain to your future husband that you are not chaste or a virgin. Better not to face that, even if you are sure, now, that you will marry each other. Also, your wedding night will be much more special and blessed if you have both been chaste before the marriage.

Just my opinion, but I think the Church agrees with this. God bless you!🙂
 
Simply do not sleep together in the same room. I will bring to much temptation not matter the level of faith. However if you both have military disciple that may be another story. Any way simply don’t do it
 
Thank you for your help. God bless you.
pensmama87 said:
Is it possible? Maybe. Is it advisable? Definitely not.

You should definitely be on the same page as the person you are dating when it comes to how you will handle temptations to be unchaste. If you’re not and have difficulty coming to an agreement, that is a very good sign that you should not continue the relationship.

Keep in mind too that you and your boyfriend may have differing ideas on what is tempting. Each of you should, out of charity, avoid things that would be a near occasion of sin for the other, even if it isn’t tempting to you.
Click to expand...
 
Thank you for your help, what you said is very inspiring. I’m sorry for answering so late, I’m having difficult times nowadays. God bless you.
judynurse said:
Although the early Amish (and a few groups still existing) practiced “bundling” i.e., a couple sleeping fully clothed in the same bed (sometimes with a board between them!) that was their practice, and was also carefully chaperoned! I don’t think that a couple nowadays (unless they are Old Order Amish) should do so, since temptation is most certainly in the bed with them!
(I think especially for the man). I advise discussing this with him, and tell him you don’t think the temptation is worth the risk to chastity for either of you. If you must travel together (for business or pleasure) separate rooms (with locks) are best. Better yet, not traveling together (as for vacations) is a better idea. My husband, prior to our marriage took me to meet some relatives for a weekend. He told them that I must have a separate room. They put him in the room next to theirs and me at the other end of the house! (And told him they were very light sleepers!!) Funny, but he was more protective of my reputation and chastity than most men would be! He did not want anyone to be able to gossip about me, or make suggestions of improper behavior. (And I was 53 and he was 64 and he still felt that he must treat me as a very young virgin!) We had a beautiful marriage until his death, and no scandal attached to our names.
Click to expand...
 
Thank you for your help. God bless you.
Allegra said:
In my experience, it’s a huge temptation to stay in the same room. My husband and I did it on two occasions and we got through it okay, but it involved some very stern and uncomfortable conversations. Yes, I think it is a worse temptation for most men. I honestly didn’t think it would be such a big deal, but it turns out that men really do only have one thing on their minds. I think a couple should avoid staying in the same room if at all possible, until after they are married.
Click to expand...
 
Yes, I’m sure the Church agrees with this and I agree with you too.Thank you so much for your help! God bless you.
judynurse said:
If it is necessary to travel long distances to visit each other’s relatives, that’s fine. But when you arrive, or if you stop for a night on the way, it’s best to have separate rooms. Why tempt yourselves? You would regret it later if you gave into the temptation. And you will respect each other much more if you maintain chastity until marriage. What if you gave into temptation, then for some reason did not marry? Then, someday, you must explain to your future husband that you are not chaste or a virgin. Better not to face that, even if you are sure, now, that you will marry each other. Also, your wedding night will be much more special and blessed if you have both been chaste before the marriage.

Just my opinion, but I think the Church agrees with this. God bless you!🙂
Click to expand...
 
Thank you. God bless you.
Loving_disciple said:
Simply do not sleep together in the same room. I will bring to much temptation not matter the level of faith. However if you both have military disciple that may be another story. Any way simply don’t do it
Click to expand...
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top