Chatting in Church

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I would say that it depends… before Mass, when people are trying to pray I would say is a no-no, but after Mass, if others are socialising, I would think that would be fine…
 
Can you provide some context?

I think standing in the church after Mass talking is fine, as long as you are not obviously disrupting anyone. I think talking quietly before Mass is fine, as long as you aren’t disturbing people. I roll my eyes at the people who come in chatting to one another before Mass, enter the pew, drop the kneelers, spend five minutes on their knees still chatting to each other, then sit back and never once break pace in their conversation - not sure they’ve really taken on the purpose of what they are doing. And I cannot stand people who chat THROUGH the Mass - focus on why you are there.
 
Just came from Mass, where I chatted with several old family friends afterwards in between all of us praying in front of the Holy Family, lighting candles for our deceased loved ones, and getting tags off the Giving Tree next to the altar.
It was fine.
 
I don’t feel chatting in church is ever okay. Before or after. It is a big pet peeve with me. Especially before. I like being able to pray quietly before Mass to prepare myself for receiving and having chatter going on is disruptive. After Mass I believe folks should wait to chat until after they have left the nave.
 
I do not mind so much when people say hello and shake hands for a few seconds; they’re just being sociable. But Jesus, when he threw out the money changers, called his Father’s house a house of prayer. It’s hard to pray when the people in front of you are talking about football or work or their vacation, all of which I’ve heard after mass.
 
I don’t have an issue with quick whispered conversations but I prefer silence before Mass and it’s probably better to wait a few minutes after Mass before striking up conversation (simply so people can make an act of thanksgiving).
On Sundays and Solemnities there’s usually an organist playing in our parish and it’s nice to just hear the music before Mass, for some reason though after Mass people seem to just raise their voices if the organ gets louder - a bit of an insult to the organist who has learnt the piece and an annoyance to those who appreciate good music.
 
While I can see why people end up chatting in church, I really think they should wait until they get out of the nave. If you see someone you want to say hi to upon entering before mass, make eye contact and wave, then talk after mass after leaving since you’ve both made each other aware that you are present.

There have been many times where I’m trying to pray before or after mass and people just congregate around me across different rows of pews and just sit chatting as I’m kneeling in the middle. People reaching between my sister and me to shake hands with someone and ask how they’re doing has also happened. My own pastor has had to write a letter in the bulletin asking people to stop because he was trying to pray after mass once and people kept talking around him. I try to be nice and understanding and think of how they are probably happy to see someone they might not see during the week, but I’m also asking for some consideration for those of us praying in the church.

“Let the oratory be what it is called, a place of prayer;
and let nothing else be done there or kept there.
When the Work of God is ended,
let all go out in perfect silence,
and let reverence for God be observed,
so that any brother who may wish to pray privately
will not be hindered by another’s misconduct.” Rule of St. Benedict ch. 52

I’ve always thought of this whenever I’m tempted to chat in church. This mentions the oratory in particular, but I’ve always held this to sacred spaces in general. What is the purpose of this space? If I do x-thing, will it distract or detract from other people who are using this space for its purpose?
 
Christphr said:
Do you think chatting in church is fine?
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I suppose it is during mass. I would prefer silence, so no chatting please. It is alright to say hello or shorting greeting but it should be conscious about other people around who would want silence and reverence in the church.
 
Horton said:
I don’t feel chatting in church is ever okay. Before or after. It is a big pet peeve with me. Especially before. I like being able to pray quietly before Mass to prepare myself for receiving and having chatter going on is disruptive. After Mass I believe folks should wait to chat until after they have left the nave.
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I very much agree with you in principle. In practice however, ear plugs and ear buds have made me not care anymore.

Six years ago there was some real nasty infighting about talking inside the church at the early Mass which I attend. I kept clear of the infighting but it got very nasty and it went on for some time. I figured I would offer a solution.

There is a man I trained to open the church on Sundays. He’s a widower, he lives about a block away and he never misses Mass. I asked him at the time if he would also be willing to unlock one of the conference rooms and make an urn of coffee each Sunday? His face lit up and he said he would be delighted. I talked to a friend of mine who owns a coffee place where he grinds and compounds his own coffee in bulk for resale. I asked him for a deal on coffee and he said he would give me one.

I emailed my pastor and offered John’s service each Sunday to open a conference room and make an urn of coffee. I said the coffee would be on me for the first year. He could then direct people to go to the conference room if they wanted to talk before Mass.

I never received a response to my email.

I resent the email. No response.

I sent it one final time. No response again. I wondered if my pastor was even seeing my email?

Then he sent me an email about something completely unrelated (using the same email address I had been sending to.) I emailed back with a question and he immediately responded. He had been getting my emails.

I figure he LIKES talking in the church but just lacked the resolve to say so.

Thank God (again) for my ear plugs and ear buds!
 
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Duesenberg said:
I figure he LIKES talking in the church but just lacked the resolve to say so.

Thank God (again) for my ear plugs and ear buds!
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As I posted here a few times before, the priests in my church are the ones doing the chatting before mass right in the pews where some people (ahem, me) are trying to pray. I’ve relegated my pre-mass praying to the outside chapel or when it is cold in my car in the parking lot now. Sad really. But I never thought of ear plugs. I will try that next time.
 
It’s irreverent and is very selfish to talk loudly before Mass starts. People are praying before Mass starts. Nothing worse than getting interrupted by people when your trying to pray. Mass isn’t a social gathering. We worship God at Mass. If you want to talk, do it after Mass. Be respectful for the people praying.
 
i wouldn’t mind ear plugs right after receiving Our Lord ,🙂
I try discreetly to put my fingers in ears,elbows on the seat in front because some music is very distracting.The other week the lady in front was doing the same:)
 
“Chatting” is a loaded word. I have no objection to quite conversations before and after Mass, as long as it is quietly done and not inappropriate. It is usually less of a distraction than the Rosary that is said out loud, over the sound system, but even that doesn’t bother me. I usually have stuff to do.

I think it is better to speak of distraction than reverence, as the latter judges the heart.
 
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Not while there’s mass. Outside of the main room then yes, after Church. But while people are praying, no. Especially during mass, no. Not before mass either preferably.
 
During the mass, no.

Two weeks ago, I sat behind two women. One sign languaged the entire mass to the other. I thought it was fascinating, and in some odd way, gave me a new appreciation to the homily. I dunno what that has to do with chatting, but just wanted to throw that in there. 🤨
 
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I agree with not chatting during the Mass. My niece was chatting the other day during Mass and I told her afterwards, she should write down every word she said, and run it past the priest to see if it was really necessary.

That can be your test. “Get the kneeler off my foot” is about the only thing you ever need to say during Mass.
 
Absolutely not during Liturgy. I don’t particularly care for it before Liturgy either as I think the time should be spent in prayer, but many of the older parishioners at my parish do chit chat, but I don’t let it bother me.
 
Actually, the Holy Father just addressed this. He says, “no, it is not.”

…When we go to Mass, perhaps we arrive five minutes early and begin to chat with the person next to us. But this is not the moment for small talk; it is the moment of silence to prepare ourselves for the dialogue. It is the moment for recollection within the heart, to prepare ourselves for the encounter with Jesus. Silence is so important! Remember what I said last week: we are not going to a spectacle, we are going to the encounter with the Lord, and silence prepares us and accompanies us. Pausing in silence with Jesus. From this mysterious silence of God springs his Word which resonates in our heart…

Pope Francis, General Audience, Wednesday, 15 November 2017
 
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