Chatting in Church

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There are several different questions people are answering. In addition to the initial question, I see these questions being substituted.

Is it okay to talk during Mass?

Is small talk okay before Mass?

Should we take time to prepare ourselves before Mass?

I say that because the above post by the Holy Father does not address this initial question, but the need to prepare oneself before Mass. That is a different question altogether. I do not think anyone would used the words of the Holy Father to say the rosary should not be said out loud before Mass, so to be consistent, it should not be used to answer the initial question.
 
So? Nothing wrong with it. Get the talkers out of the church and into a conference room so those praying in church won’t be disturbed.

Our priests arrive to the sacristy 4-5 minutes before the beginning of Mass. It’s a hard tradition around here. They have time to vest and place their notes on the ambo. That’s it. In any event, who cares if it’s the “Early Birds” who do the talkin?
 
Nap66 said:
As I posted here a few times before, the priests in my church are the ones doing the chatting before mass right in the pews where some people (ahem, me) are trying to pray. I’ve relegated my pre-mass praying to the outside chapel or when it is cold in my car in the parking lot now. Sad really. But I never thought of ear plugs. I will try that next time.
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Our priests don’t show up early enough to actually go into the nave and greet people. Except one. Father Mark – now laicised and married.

Father Mark would open the church a full hour before the first Mass of the day. He would ever so quietly sit next to people for a quick (and very quiet) greeting. He would only do this to people who were sitting by themselves as he did not want to disrupt others. He would also smile and move on if it was clear the individual did not want to talk for a minute or two.

In many cases he was talking to people who had not talked directly to a priest in years. Mark heard my confession in this manner at least a half dozen time. He heard other people’s confessions in this manner as well.

But it was all done very quietly and well before Mass began. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen in my parish.
 
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pnewton said:
I say that because the above post by the Holy Father does not address this initial question, but the need to prepare oneself before Mass. That is a different question altogether.
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To say nothing of the fact that a lot of the church-chatting people are complaining about is happening AFTER Mass, when you can sometimes even find the priest and deacon making the chatty rounds in the church aisles.
 
I don’t think it matters unless it’s during a mass or other liturgical celebration. Outside of that it isn’t an issue unless of course there’s people there trying to pray.

However it’s usually best to leave the actual Church space. Most churches have outer rooms or church halls just for this purpose.
 
I attend Rosary and Mass between 2 Churches. Last Saturday, 3 women were so loud talking and laughing together, one could not hear the Rosary, I tried a loud Shh, but they didn’t hear me. This went on for 2 full decades. At the other Church, people all round would have shushed them after 2 Hail Marys… A big difference in lack of reverence from one Church to the next. The week before, prior to Mass, the organist and lead singer for the “Adult” choir, was on her cellphone on the Altar. A “look” from me did not fizz on her. In each of these instances Father was in the Confessional. Again, this would not have happened at the other Church. I believe parishioners in the plural, and/or ushers need to express politely to the offender how this is disruptive and disrespectful to Our Lord…
 
She was on the Altar before Mass before and after I exited the Confessional, and talking on her phone.
Estimated time - 10 minutes.
 
There was no one in the Church other than people lined up for Confessions. This was at 4 o’clock. Rosary at 4:30. Mass begins at 5. No reason whatsoever to be on the Altar.
 
Do your socializing before or after Mass outside the Sanctuary.
Some people actually use the time before Mass to pray and others will remain after Mass to do the same. All the chatter can be distracting. BTW remember you are in the Lords house and show respect.
 
FaithfulKnight said:
Do your socializing before or after Mass outside the Sanctuary.
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Why? I understand why loud talking is rude in any circumstances, but I think zero social interaction between parishioners is a more serious problem. How many people come and go to Mass with no more interaction than at a fast food drive through? I have visited parishes that many here would consider reverent for their lack of interaction between people. I have felt nothing, literally nothing, between any two people. Mass is the Holy Sacrifice, but Church is family. Trading one for another is no bargain.

Yes, you are in the Lord’s house. When I go to someone’s house I do not consider it well-mannered to ignore the family there.

I would rather encourage a compromise is in order. Speak softly, including saying a rosary, so as to allow time for contemplation. Arrive early if you to visit, and wrap it all up, rosary included, to allow five minutes or so of preparation.
 
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I found this from the General Instruction of the Roman Missal at paragraph 45:

Even before the celebration itself, it is a praiseworthy practice for silence to be observed in the church, in the sacristy, in the vesting room, and in adjacent areas, so that all may dispose themselves to carry out the sacred celebration in a devout and fitting manner.

http://www.usccb.org/prayer-and-wor...uction-of-the-roman-missal/girm-chapter-2.cfm

Blessings
 
I guess I don’t mind if people are whispering. What gets me is when people are talking loudly and disturbing my prayer time. I often pray the rosary before Mass and can’t pay attention to my prayers because of the loud talking. And it’s not the kids, it’s senior citizens, whom I assume can’t hear.
 
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I think part of the problem is that many parishes don’t make the effort to support fellowship opportunities for their members. Talking in church however is no solution.

My brother attends a Protestant church a few blocks from my parish. The effort they put into their after-services coffee social is remarkable. The person is charge is a capable leader and manager. People actually like her, and work hard for her. There is a great deal of pride in what they do.

Yes, I know, as Catholics we’re programmed to get defensive and exclaim things like "they don’t have the Eucharist! and “that’s not way we attend Mass!” All I can say to that is “how terribly sad” and “what a shame.”

When my current pastor first arrived, he noticed the dearth of fellowship opportunities at my parish. He wanted a fellowship period after every Mass and he went about investigating it in a very intelligent manner. The Catholic HS across the street has a program in catering. He spoke to the instructor and for a very nominal fee they would supply the planning and the “labor.” I got all the information from my brother’s parish (we event went on a field trip one Sunday) and gave it to the instructor.

A wealthy couple in the parish agreed to pay for everything – literally for as long as they were drawing breath. What killed the project? The laypeople that control every such project at my parish. Disliked individuals without the skills to pull off such a project, yet would never step aside.

RIP.
 
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KATRINA_68 said:
There was no one in the Church other than people lined up for Confessions. This was at 4 o’clock. Rosary at 4:30. Mass begins at 5. No reason whatsoever to be on the Altar.
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Keep in mind that some use the sanctuary as a stage of sorts to put themselves on display. It can get pretty ugly. Talking on the phone in the sanctuary before Mass is very bad form.
 
It’s interesting. My parish is a historical landmark. It gets a number of visitors each day. It’s the non-Catholic (and likely non-Christian of any kind) that act with the greatest amount of reverence when they tour the church.

There is something about familiarity with one’s parish church that seems to breed irreverent behavior.
 
Exactly. Wouldn’t coffee before Mass wreck the Eucharistic fasting period?
 
pnewton said:
Yes, you are in the Lord’s house. When I go to someone’s house I do not consider it well-mannered to ignore the family there.
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All due respect. You are missing the point. That analogy is weak at best. I socialize plenty, I choose to do it in the appropriate location.
Big difference in the Lord’s house and your neighbors.
 
Lara said:
That can be your test. “Get the kneeler off my foot” is about the only thing you ever need to say during Mass.
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I have a few others.

"Stop antagonizing your sister.“

" No, you may not go to the bathroom."

" Give me the toy. You were supposed to leave it in the car."

" Don’t kick your brother.

“Stop kicking the back of the pew.”

“Keep your hands to yourself.”

“Stop picking your nose.”

“I’ll explain what Father meant after Mass is over.”

“Honey, can you take 3- year - old to the bathroom? The baby is nursing.”

“No, no! Father didn’t really mean to say that there’s no Santa Claus. Hush. We’ll talk about it after Mass.”

“Turn that pages quietly. Noizy page-flipping distracts other people.”

I could go on and on, but you get the picture of life at Mass with several children. Of course, we whisper, but sometimes it seems to go on and on. Children learn gradually.
 
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