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Love31
Guest
I really do love him…Thank you for your prayersPraying for you and your hubby, i really hope it all works out for you. You really dohim don’t you sweetie?
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Tweety
Guest
Been there sweetie-with my first love, but we didn’t have children (he did to other women) and I didn’t marry him, but i would have at one point… thank God i didn’t as he was violent - which your husband isn’t… Thank God for that!
It is hard to walk away i know. My ex tried to commit suicide and would ring me or his family would, i was there for that man… Anyway he is** totally different **to your husband…
My dad had an affair on my mum - i know that heartache seeing your mum hurt. I asked my father who do you want? Who do you love? Mummy or Charmaine?
You are in my prayers sweetie.
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Love31
Guest
Watching your Mom suffer must have been hard on you. I worry about my daughter all the time and what we are doing to her. She doesn’t say much so we think she doesn’t suspect anything but I know that she is a smart little girl and she knows something is wrong. Our lives have changed pretty much upside down. So we are stupid to think that she knows nothing. I get so angry with myself for allowing this to continue the way it has. For allowing him to constantly hurt us… I love my little girl so much. Pray for us…
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Tweety
Guest
Hi sweetie,
Yes it was… i love my mum, but as a little girl - i adored my daddy. I used to tell mum “I love daddy more than you” - she was never offended…
They separated in 1978, he was a gambler too, never violent… loved his beer and scotch and that contributed to his death… He took his own life 2 years ago 10 June, as he was sick and lost all his muscle and strength due to the alcohol more than likely…
I loved him unconditionally and my mother always encouraged us to have a relationship - even when they stopped talking… My dad couldn’t own up to his problems or mistakes… I have learnt to be opposite from him and i have no problem saying i am wrong or sorry etc… Mum taught me that… She is my ROCK, my ANGEL, my BEST FRIEND. I saw her go through hell and it broke my heart. I am very protective of her, and am sure your angel will be of you too. I am 41, she is 72 and i panick all the time of her dying and leaving me, she has been my all, all these years… If i didn’t have my son and hubby, i would die with her when she goes one day…
My parents fought when they thought i was asleep - but i would wake up… He would call her the 2 horrid words when he was drunk and she accused him of having an affair. After he left, i went to visit him 2 yrs later and he had to work so i tidied up as mum was a clean freak and i was good at that also… I found a picture of him and his girlfriend who had spent the past Christmas with him. That devastated me! This was August if i remember - 8 months after Christmas, why didn’t he want me with him at Christmas??? My mother was so heartbroken for me as he never asked for me to come and visit him, no i came in August! … It broke my heart when i found it. I found a picture of her from the papers as she was on the front page for some small reason - horses or something and i ripped it up… Don’t hurt my mum! You see, the hurt is still here and i am 41 years of age. My 13th birthday i confronted him as my mother drank a bottle of whiskey and she didn’t drink! Someone told her that dad had gone home with his girlfriend while we were all at the races as a FAMILY! That just destroyed her there and then. Everyone knew except for mum and when she confronted him, he did the man thing… You are crazy, imagining things… She knew the phone numbers of all the trainers and jockeys (we had race horses…) He would have a new number for a jockey or trainer and mum wasn’t that stupid. He lied about it all. Could never own up…
I had not spoken to him for 10 years, didn’t see him for 25 years. When he died i was heartbroken and am still a mess to this day… I cannot cope, i miss my daddy and no matter what happened between he and my mum - it was** their **marriage. I know my daddy loved me - he was selfish that’s all… Before he killed himself he rang my aunty and gave me a message (didn’t say he was killing himself of course…) and it was that he loved me and that blood is thicker than water. He never knew HOW to show it… Maybe he was never taught… I am my father’s daughter… I look like him etc… But i have my mothers insides…
Your daughter needs to know that her daddy loves her… I have been there, i know from experience as the child… My heart was broken by my father, he didn’t mean it, but he did it.
If anything… let your husband know how much he needs to be a good role model for his daughter. She will look up to him and respect him if he does the right thing, but he must do it for himself musn’t he sweetie? I pray he recovers… You see, i can honestly say that i love and adore my daddy, but have no respect. He was a coward. He is dead now and i don’t want to badmouth him, i am just telling it how it is, I am sorry, but it is the truth. It doesn’t take any of my love away for him, i love him just the same…
Take care sweetie, remember Jesus loves you!
Will keep you in my prayers.
Tweets
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Love31
Guest
Thank you so much for sharing your story with me… I thought alot about what you said all weekend and I took some time to talk with my daughter and explain to her that her dad is sick but that he does love her very much. She said she knew that Dad loves her. I also got the feeling that she knew something was wrong with her dad. I asked her if she was scared of her Dad and at first she said no but then she said only when he yells. She said she doesn’t like to see me cry. We then sat and prayed for him and we went to church the next day and prayed again for him. It was almost as if my little six year old understood that her Daddy was sick and she sat there at church and prayed…I had to fight back tears…Hi sweetie,
Yes it was… i love my mum, but as a little girl - i adored my daddy. I used to tell mum “I love daddy more than you” - she was never offended…
They separated in 1978, he was a gambler too, never violent… loved his beer and scotch and that contributed to his death… He took his own life 2 years ago 10 June, as he was sick and lost all his muscle and strength due to the alcohol more than likely…
I loved him unconditionally and my mother always encouraged us to have a relationship - even when they stopped talking… My dad couldn’t own up to his problems or mistakes… I have learnt to be opposite from him and i have no problem saying i am wrong or sorry etc… Mum taught me that… She is my ROCK, my ANGEL, my BEST FRIEND. I saw her go through hell and it broke my heart. I am very protective of her, and am sure your angel will be of you too. I am 41, she is 72 and i panick all the time of her dying and leaving me, she has been my all, all these years… If i didn’t have my son and hubby, i would die with her when she goes one day…
My parents fought when they thought i was asleep - but i would wake up… He would call her the 2 horrid words when he was drunk and she accused him of having an affair. After he left, i went to visit him 2 yrs later and he had to work so i tidied up as mum was a clean freak and i was good at that also… I found a picture of him and his girlfriend who had spent the past Christmas with him. That devastated me! This was August if i remember - 8 months after Christmas, why didn’t he want me with him at Christmas??? My mother was so heartbroken for me as he never asked for me to come and visit him, no i came in August! … It broke my heart when i found it. I found a picture of her from the papers as she was on the front page for some small reason - horses or something and i ripped it up… Don’t hurt my mum! You see, the hurt is still here and i am 41 years of age. My 13th birthday i confronted him as my mother drank a bottle of whiskey and she didn’t drink! Someone told her that dad had gone home with his girlfriend while we were all at the races as a FAMILY! That just destroyed her there and then. Everyone knew except for mum and when she confronted him, he did the man thing… You are crazy, imagining things… She knew the phone numbers of all the trainers and jockeys (we had race horses…) He would have a new number for a jockey or trainer and mum wasn’t that stupid. He lied about it all. Could never own up…
I had not spoken to him for 10 years, didn’t see him for 25 years. When he died i was heartbroken and am still a mess to this day… I cannot cope, i miss my daddy and no matter what happened between he and my mum - it was** their **marriage. I know my daddy loved me - he was selfish that’s all… Before he killed himself he rang my aunty and gave me a message (didn’t say he was killing himself of course…) and it was that he loved me and that blood is thicker than water. He never knew HOW to show it… Maybe he was never taught… I am my father’s daughter… I look like him etc… But i have my mothers insides…
Your daughter needs to know that her daddy loves her… I have been there, i know from experience as the child… My heart was broken by my father, he didn’t mean it, but he did it.
If anything… let your husband know how much he needs to be a good role model for his daughter. She will look up to him and respect him if he does the right thing, but he must do it for himself musn’t he sweetie? I pray he recovers… You see, i can honestly say that i love and adore my daddy, but have no respect. He was a coward. He is dead now and i don’t want to badmouth him, i am just telling it how it is, I am sorry, but it is the truth. It doesn’t take any of my love away for him, i love him just the same…
Take care sweetie, remember Jesus loves you!
Will keep you in my prayers.
Tweets
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Tweety
Guest
Sorry, i had an emotional weekend, and haven’t really been on the computer much…
What a sweet angel you have? My son has seen me cry (not from my husband, but just life…) and hugs me and cries with me, the sweet 3 and a half yr old…
You are wonderful for praying for him and teaching her to do the same. He is lucky he married you, many women - including some Catholic women that i know - wouldn’t.
I honestly feel for you… I know it’s extremely tough… Keeping you in my prayers…
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Tweety
Guest
Hey there Love31,
How are you?
Sorry, i have not been to CAF since 26 June, i have had and still have major computer problems…
You have been in my prayers and on my mind…
How did the weekend thingy go? Hope you are smiling, let me know how you are going huh?
Take care and God bless you…
Tweets
How are you?
Sorry, i have not been to CAF since 26 June, i have had and still have major computer problems…
You have been in my prayers and on my mind…
How did the weekend thingy go? Hope you are smiling, let me know how you are going huh?
Take care and God bless you…
Tweets
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Love31
Guest
I haven’t been on for a long time and so much has happened… my husband is getting worse and I have seen things and heard things that I would have never imaged would come from my husband. We tried the marriage encounter weekend and we left early because he wanted to come home. He said that he couldn’t take anymore. I pretty much felt the same way. It was hard being there with other couples who were trying to learn how to avoid what we were going thru. It almost felt like we were pretending we pretty much knew we needed to leave when they asked us to write a love letter to each other and neither one of us could do it. His letter was full of shame, embarassement and guilt and mine was full of anger, hurt and pain. It was so hard to write and even though I wanted to write a love letter that was not what I was feeling. So we went home and he’s still at her house and still on drugs…I sometimes feel so sorry for him because that drug has really taken over him…its so sad. He continues to call and text me but not as often and he seems so confused and can’t seem to remember what he has already told me. He still says that he loves me and thinks that he’s not doing me wrong because he’s not home with me… He is trying something new. He called the other day and said that he had applied for a state position as a carpenter and that he would be drug tested once a month. He said that it had great benefits and great pay. he would be doing traveling but would be back on the weekends. He asked me to pray that he gets that job because he feels that that may be his way out of this mess. He thinks that being out of town will help him stay away from his friends and her and that knowing he will be drug tested will help him stay clean. He even said that while he’s traveling the state he would like for us to go with him someday to see if there was somewhere else we would like to live. I pray that he gets this job because maybe it will help…but …if his family hasn’t made him want to change why would a job help him. I wish I could be positive and I wish that I could say that things are going to work out but I just don’t know anymore. Its just been too long and he’s hurt me too much. I told him that I wasn’t promising anything that I just didn’t know what God had in store for us and that I asked the Lord to put me where he wanted me and needed me. He seemed really sad that I just didn’t agree with him and say oh that’s great I’ll go anywhere with you. But I’m not the same person anymore. All of this hurt has changed the way I see things the way I think and the way I see other people. I love him but I’m not sure that i can love him again the way I use to…and thats so sad! I seem to be doing lots better and I don’t seem to miss him as much anymore. Somedays are tough but I get thru it. He feels this…I no longer call him or text him. I no longer look for him or ask questions. And now he doesn’t know what to do with himself. I pray that he figures it out. He really is headed down the wrong way and I’m scared that the worst is yet to come. I feel so sorry for him… he looks so lost…I can’t beleive that this man has no clue how to get out of this…Give it to God, He’ll fix it!
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Love31
Guest
Its been a while…so much has changed and I really think for the better. I moved in with my parents in Sept…It finally registered. I finally saw things clear…as they were happening. One night he came home and said again that he was there to make things work. It sounded good but at the same time I didn’t believe him and I was very uneasy about it. He got a call and when he got off the phone he told me that he needed to go help a friend with a flat tire…I knew this was lie I knew he went to Trish’s house and I had already been thru so much. I called my sister in law she came over and I told her that I was leaving. She was surprised. I just wanted someone to know so they wouldn’t be concerned about where I was. I wrote my husband a note telling him I was leaving I packed as much as I could in my car told my daughter we were going to stay with Grandma and I left and didn’t go back. When my husband got home at like 2 am he realized we weren’t there…saw the note and tried calling me…I didn’t answer. I did text him and told him that I needed time alone. Things from there got bad. I have been pushed, choked and called everything in the book. But I have never been alone all of these happened in front of his family and they would pull him off of me. And to his shock… defend me. I have filed for divorce and it should be finalized in a few days. He has never stopped seeing his girlfriend to this day and I think he’s still using meth but I can’t prove it. Every once and a while I get message from him saying that he misses me and still loves me. And I feel sorry for him but I won’t go back I care for him but no longer love him like a husband. I have realized that I didn’t have to put up with all the things I did. I cannot change a person if they don’t want to change on their own. I continue to pray for him. He sees my daughter for a few hours a week, it sounds sad but the sad part is that this is more than he use to spend with her when we were still together. I asked my daughter on New Years day if she wanted to go back home and she started crying and said no. She wanted us to get a house of our own…so we did. I’ve gone back to get all of the rest of my things including my dog and we are so happy in our new house. Both me and my daughter have gained our weight back. I had lost so much weight from the depression and stress I was looking ill. He seems sad most of the time but I continue to encourge him to better himself. When he tells me I love you I tell him God Bless you. I think he is finally getting the fact that I don’t want to be with him anymore. He never thought I would file for divorce and I’m sure at times still he can’t believe it but its what is best and he knows that. God has someone for me that will help me grow in God. But right now I’m finally at peace. Thanks be to God. Thank you so much for your prayers and advice. God Bless each and everyone of you. Praise to you Lord Jesus Christ!:extrahappy:
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Truly_Blessed
Guest
I am so sorry that you had to go through all of this, Love. You sound like a strong, faith-filled woman. You will overcome this!! You are making excellent strides and you CAN do this. Rejoice that you have a beautiful little girl! You are setting a good example of strength for her by taking charge of your own future. Have you looked into the annulment process?
God Bless You!!!
God Bless You!!!
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Love31
Guest
Thank you. Annulment process is next. I have talked to a priest about it. My Preist knows what I’ve been going through so that really helps me in being comfortable asking questions. I have learned so much through all of this and the Lord has given me such strength. I would not have been able to get through this and keep my sanity without my Love for God.
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Love31
Guest
Thank you. Annulment process is next. I have talked to a priest about it. My Preist knows what I’ve been going through so that really helps me in being comfortable asking questions. I have learned so much through all of this and the Lord has given me such strength. I would not have been able to get through this and keep my sanity without my Love for God.
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whatevergirl
Guest
I too wondered what happened–so glad to see you in a better place–Praise be to God. May there be brighter roads ahead…God bless, and God will give you all the strength you need to lead your forward. ((hugs)) You are one strong lady–I admire your strength, and appreciate this update.
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