Ps. If she is secular be really gentle.if they are not engaged or married, there is no cheating, because there is not and cannot be any exclusive relationship. She may be manipulating the men in her life, and being dishonest with those she dates, or communicates with long distance, but she is not cheating. If this hypothetical lady (I am not talking about a specific person here) is having sex with any of these men, she is fornicating, but not cheating. she may also have relationship problems if she confides in a 3rd party, but not in the man she professes to care about enough to become engaged to him. the third party has no role here, except to advise her accurately on the morality of actions she is contemplating or committing, and then only when she asks for advice or invites comment.
What a bunch of bogus… excuse me but it certainly is.
Gmarie, respectfully, I believe exclusive/non-exclusive isn’t the perfect way to put it. So far as it comes to going to coffee, talking on the phone or the Internet and so on, there’s no need for that to be exclusive, since we do that with friends as well. However, when it comes to things which belong to love of a different character from charity, those things should not be non-exclusive or else we fall into polygamous patterns. Having multiple concurrent romantic relationships is polygamous and it creates vain hopes in people. It’s a modern trend to accept that, but it’s nowhere in the Fathers or Saints for all I know.
I guess I go by the idea of true courting and all that that entails. There are plenty of Catholic books on the subject and the whole idea makes a lot of sense instead of the stupid (imho) concept of serial dating that occurs in today’s society.
I think concurrent is worse than serial. Let me just explain that I don’t mean one shouldn’t meet many people, go to coffee, have a walk, have a conversation, you know. But friendship is enough for that. Once it starts involving kissing, declarations of life, some more overt or serious flirting, then it’s wrong in my opinion to do that with many people. It’s also wrong to do that with someone for a limited period of time, then with another, then with yet another. Moreover, there is no actual need to have someone for kissing and hugging and love letters at all times.
100% agree
I think that unless you are privy to the details of exactly what understanding exists between your friend and her boyfriend about what they will and will not do with other people when apart, you need to mind you own business. This is a non-engaged, long distance relationship, not a marriage. I agree one owes honesty and honorable behaviour even in a non-marital dating relationship~but you do not know what the expectations are. If you are uncomfortable with the details your friend provides about her dating escapades, ask her to keep them to herself. She’ll get the hint.
Maybe not any physical infidelity, but obviously the woman is lying to her boyfriend and leading him on while receiving the benefits of another relationship. Perhaps that second guy is in the same boat!