Checking out my Girlfriend

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idontknow

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Ok, I am a little curious about this. Well first of all, I am new to this girlfriend thing, even though I am 25. (Only had one for a couple weeks before this one - close to 3 months.)

I was wondering what is ok to do or whatever. Last nite we was talking online like we do about every nite. We have webcams, so we get to see each other, because we live a little ways away from each other. - She had been wrapping some presents and then got up to put the stuff away and move the things off her sofa. She probably forgot about her webcam, to pause it or anything. So while she was doing this, I was watching her. The webcam was at her middle height. And she wasn’t facing the webcam, since her sofa was behide where she had been sitting. So ya, I was watching her, checking her out while she was doing all that stuff.

Is it wrong to be checking out my girlfriend’s backside and enjoying seeing it (more than a glace)? (I wasn’t lusting thinking dirty thoughts, but I did enjoy it.) - Also, I definitely took a few glances the last time we did hang out. So what I am asking is…what is ok, and what isn’t ok (or too much) to do or see. (I have warned her about being careful if she has a loose shirt on, but not sure how much looking at her backside or shape is ok?)

Thanx for any responses.
 
Sounds like you are a healthy heterosexual male. I mean come on, there aint a man on this earth that does not look at women. If you don’t than nice to meet ya on the Catholic Answers Forum. Jesus.

I would not worry so much, heck your still young and you still have alot of learning to do. If it makes you feel any better I crashed my 1986 Firebird into a telephone pole watching a couple of Gods finest creations in the female form. :eek:

Peace
 
Ok, I guess I was just making sure.

I mean I feel like I should have looked away after seeing a glance or more, but instead was watching her.

Like I said there weren’t any lustful thoughts (so I didn’t think it was a sin), but staring at her backside felt a little wrong (but I did enjoy it), but I’m sure it’s ok to look a little at my girlfriend and think that she does have a nice body, right.

Thanx for any responses.
 
idontknow said:
Ok, I guess I was just making sure.

I mean I feel like I should have looked away after seeing a glance or more, but instead was watching her.

Like I said there weren’t any lustful thoughts (so I didn’t think it was a sin), but staring at her backside felt a little wrong (but I did enjoy it), but I’m sure it’s ok to look a little at my girlfriend and think that she does have a nice body, right.

Thanx for any responses.
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Believe it or not,it is probably one of the best compliments you can give her.
Trust me.Women notice when you notice them.
Just remember,…sex is dirty.Save it for someone you love.
 
DocSoos said:
Sounds like you are a healthy heterosexual male. I mean come on, there aint a man on this earth that does not look at women. If you don’t than nice to meet ya on the Catholic Answers Forum. Jesus.
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WHY then should we be any less perfect than our Creator and Lord? He calls us to be exactly like Him.

Whenever mine wicked eyes do fall upon the female form (and ahem take it in) it always brings me back to that (firgurative) call to gouge them out.

Maybe it keeps them (my eyes) in line, saying, “You keep it together, or I’m gonna reach in there and drag you fithly pieces of trash out!!!”
DocSoos said:
I would not worry so much, heck your still young and you still have alot of learning to do. If it makes you feel any better I crashed my 1986 Firebird into a telephone pole watching a couple of Gods finest creations in the female form. :eek:

Peace
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SEE!!! Gal’s only bring trouble! Look at Delilah, look at Bathsheba. Then again, it could be said that foolish men bring about their own destructions, but it’s much easier to say, “The woman made me eat it!” than it is to admit that! 😛

(To That one guy)

Sex is dirty? Why then would anyone wish to bring filth into their marriage? No, sex is beautiful. But gravely disorded outside of marriage. And don’t forget hollow, meaningless; and if any reminder of the fruits of pre (or extra) marital sex be needed, merely consult your nearest Bible.
 
Dtmccameron said:
(To That one guy)

Sex is dirty? Why then would anyone wish to bring filth into their marriage? No, sex is beautiful. But gravely disorded outside of marriage. And don’t forget hollow, meaningless; and if any reminder of the fruits of pre (or extra) marital sex be needed, merely consult your nearest Bible.
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It was a joke.Sheesh!
 
I check my girl out all the time…I’m a cashier at Wal-Mart.🤷
 
That_one_guy said:
It was a joke.Sheesh!
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😊

Sorry…

Ahm…

Question to the OP, when you observe her, does a light seem to shine about her?

I’d just like to say that even once you’re married, you can still lust over your wife.

Lusting, has, after all, little to do with sexual urges, but is all about the objectification of another human being, and thereby, a sever crime against their dignity as Children of Christ.

And in my culture, there occurs what amounts to rape in many marriages, as the men (dogs, in this case) will not be denied their “right”.

Further, and I could be spreading a scrupulous view, but your concience is there for a reason. If it’s tugging at your ear, listen.
 
Dtmccameron said:
Whenever mine wicked eyes do fall upon the female form (and ahem take it in) it always brings me back to that (firgurative) call to gouge them out.

Maybe it keeps them (my eyes) in line, saying, “You keep it together, or I’m gonna reach in there and drag you fithly pieces of trash out!!!”
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I know this is off topic but your quote reminded me of the time when I asked my fundamentalist friend (who insists that everything in the bible is to be taken literally), “Where is that special place in your Church”? He asked,“What special place?” I answered, " You know, the special place where all the one eyed, one handed people sit". I did get a chuckle…teachccd 🙂
 
Remember this it always seems to help people who are new to the girl friend thing, well really anyone

A Woman is like the Sun. You can glance every once and a while but stare and you will have to deal with the consequences.

God Bless

EC
 
ErrorCMDR said:
Remember this it always seems to help people who are new to the girl friend thing, well really anyone

A Woman is like the Sun. You can glance every once and a while but stare and you will have to deal with the consequences.

God Bless

EC
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So what you are saying is it is ok to look at her body and admire it some, but I need to not overdue it by always checking her out or thinking about it a lot…
 
That_one_guy said:
…
Just remember,…sex is dirty.Save it for someone you love.
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It was author Larry Winget that used to say that. He’s one of those crude “self-help” gurus who probably stole that line from some alcoholic, hundred dollar per night comedian at hole-in-the-wall night club somewhere.

That being said, sex isn’t really dirty, but most of us get the point.Therefore the above statement is loaded with truth in the sense that it is a badly needed anti-promiscuity statement directed at secular society. Sometimes truth can be found in the strangest of places!
👍
 
idontknow said:
So what you are saying is it is ok to look at her body and admire it some, but I need to not overdue it by always checking her out or thinking about it a lot…
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I think we aren’t sure what you mean by “check her out”. You should know what your girlfriend looks like. But you shouldn’t stare in ways (or think about things with her) that get you aroused.

Depending on how good you are at practising chastity, you may be able to look at her longer or hardly look at her at all.
 
God made women beautiful, and there is nothing wrong with admiring his creation, as long as you sort of keep it in the context of looking at, say, a beautiful sunset.

It’s when those thoughts take a course of their own that you start getting in trouble.

I always like what someone here said: "Imagine the Blessed Virgin were standing next to you, watching. Would you be comfortable? If so, you are probably ok. If you would be ashamed, time to rethink.
 
Neil_Anthony said:
I think we aren’t sure what you mean by “check her out”. You should know what your girlfriend looks like. But you shouldn’t stare in ways (or think about things with her) that get you aroused.

Depending on how good you are at practising chastity, you may be able to look at her longer or hardly look at her at all.
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Umm, well checking her out, I talked about that in my other posts on here. - I did mention that I was looking at her umm backside some as she was facing the other direction moving some stuff.

I did enjoy looking at her body, but I always enjoy looking at and seeing all of her. I especially like her pretty smile. But at the same time I wasn’t thinking anything dirty at all or getting aroused. I was just looking at her curves and thinking she has a nice body. Nothing that was wrong, just was checking if others check out their girlfriends and if it is ok and stuff.
 
Well, since you seem to have alot of male responses how about one from a female?

I agree with the other person that there isn’t anything wrong with admiring God’s creation, at all. And as you’ve stated above, you weren’t thinking promiscuous thoughts or getting aroused.

Coming from a girls point of view, I have a boyfriend and check him out all the time, and don’t find it to be wrong. It’s not a matter of me lusting over him, and I’m not one of those girls who drool over muscle and sports players, but I look at him and admire the creation that God created specifically for me at that moment.

Just like there is no harm in holding hands or kissing. If it doesn’t get you aroused and its just something that you do to share affection and remind each other that you care, there isn’t anything wrong with it.

Here is something that nobody ever really wants to hear, but that can and will make a whole lot of difference.

Being an attractive girl (no i’m not being prideful) I’m usually quite aware that guys check me out. Sometimes I do admit, my jeans may be a bit too tight or a shirt a bit to loose, but most of the time I am very descent.

Thing is, when I catch guys looking my way I can’t always tell what they are thinking. Sometimes its obvious from there sounds and body language (unfortunately) but at other times I will catch someone noticing me, and when they realize that I’ve noticed they look away. That has always made me curious because then I don’t know if they were just admiring me, or if they were lusting over me.

So I’ve always made a point with all my friends (especially the guys) that they are beautiful creations of God.

Then what has also helped me in relationships is (and this is the part no one ever wants to hear, for some reason, i don’t know why.) When you are admiring your gf/bf tell them that, that is what you are doing.

Because if she has noticed you noticing her, she may not know that you aren’t thinking those things. And in her not knowing, she could begin to think lustfully, or feel uncomfortable not knowing if you are doing something that low.

Stay safe, and keep God in the center of your relationships!
 
Thanx, for the female response ;). I liked some of the things that you said, and it makes sense.

I guess I just wanted to make sure others thought it was ok as well…but figured so, since I wasn’t thinking anything wrong about it and just admiring her body, that it was fine. I probably shouldn’t have been staring or watching too much; it made me feel a little guilty since she wasn’t aware that I was watching her.

And about letting her know, I did that. I am very big on honesty and I open up to people that I trust. I guess I feel that I have to be that way with her, since that is how it would have to be, with someone that I might end up spending my life with. Maybe I am too open and say too much sometimes, but that is just who I am (very loyal and close to the people I care about - “Trust”).

So when she got back from putting her stuff away and looked at me, I had this look and she knew there was something. I don’t remember if she asked me what or was like, oh I forgot about leaving my webcam unpaused while i was doing that. I kind of said something about watching her and said I probably shouldn’t have been so much. Then she said why was it bad or appaling (she doesn’t have the most confidence - probably having some to do with her being a little bit bigger girl and not really getting any compliments before me). - I told her of course not, I enjoyed it, but felt I shouldn’t have been since she hadn’t thought about, that I was watching her.

She should know that I like her the way she is, as I tell her she is pretty every day and other things (I just wish she would do a better job of accepting it).

Thanx for the responses…
 
idontknow said:
Ok, I guess I was just making sure.

I mean I feel like I should have looked away after seeing a glance or more, but instead was watching her.

Like I said there weren’t any lustful thoughts (so I didn’t think it was a sin), but staring at her backside felt a little wrong (but I did enjoy it), but I’m sure it’s ok to look a little at my girlfriend and think that she does have a nice body, right.

Thanx for any responses.
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welcome to the male condition.

but you knew it was wrong. im 35 and regret all the years i spent with women who really weren’t anything more to me than a nice backside.

its hard to deny your desire, but you have to try to do what you know is right. i cant even be around a decent looking woman without sinning in my heart. thats my weakness like it is for most men, so if you can help it dont let sin gain any momentum in your heart. an innocent glance repeated enough leads to more.

as a victim of lust, let me tell you that failure is assured, but try, and keep trying even when you fail. it is when you dont fight it that you have really failed, good luck
 
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