C
cheezey
Guest
First and foremost, God’s love has granted me your presence in my life. So many have prayed for me and I am so incredibly grateful.
For every step taken, three more set me back.
I am praying as best I can for disability.
My gp is in high favor of this, as is my therapist. My gp also wants me to quit my self appointed therapy, which is a store where at risk teens work. It is tough to be there; it contributes greatly to my nervousness now, but it
1-gets me out of my room and thus not alone
2-I am paid a lunch stipend
3-air conditioning (My room is an oven; a/c not allowed. It is so hot that the the Vit. D my
dr prescribed became one gigantic pill in two days)
4-free wifi. I am so lonesome, where would I be without my fellow CAF members?! ( am
also afraid my computer will die. It is a 4 y/o notebook. I don’t want to know my reaction
to this should it die. It is a life line. As is the store.
and two people who have helped me spiritually/personally/practically are leaving. Far away.
I was in the hospital two weeks ago. I broke down in a Church I was visiting and the pastor and a parishoner/nurse convinced me to go, despite absolutely having to drop off more papers the next day for disability. The pastor offered to do this for me. And then I happened to find out that both are leaving. I broke down further. These breakdowns of crying are happening more often and now in public. My first hospital stay was the day I moved in to this room. My panic was so great, I thought I would die. And then a window fell on my head. So that was two fold hospital stay.
I cannot express accurately or fully how I feel but it isn’t good. Nothing seems normal; it is all painfully surreal. I feel as if stunned and just going through the motions of life. I am so scared of so much. I hate being alone with no personal support nearby. None. I cannot stand this. I feel as if on a rocky precipice all the time, even in my fitful sleep. And people on public assistance do not get the same care.
In America, I find this to be a shame. I don’t say that selfishly; there are so many hurting people for whom I pray; I am far from alone.
I appreciate and understand all the threads of anxiety, PTSD; mental health.
Anxiety stinks.
I thank God for the prayer warriors, I truly do.
And now I again, humbly ask for your prayers.
I’d like to be productive again; feel whole;
to get to a more God centered life. I cannot do this without prayers. My brain is mush.
I cannot pray as I should. But I keep trying as best I can.
Thank you for reading .
For every step taken, three more set me back.
I am praying as best I can for disability.
My gp is in high favor of this, as is my therapist. My gp also wants me to quit my self appointed therapy, which is a store where at risk teens work. It is tough to be there; it contributes greatly to my nervousness now, but it
1-gets me out of my room and thus not alone
2-I am paid a lunch stipend
3-air conditioning (My room is an oven; a/c not allowed. It is so hot that the the Vit. D my
dr prescribed became one gigantic pill in two days)
4-free wifi. I am so lonesome, where would I be without my fellow CAF members?! ( am
also afraid my computer will die. It is a 4 y/o notebook. I don’t want to know my reaction
to this should it die. It is a life line. As is the store.
and two people who have helped me spiritually/personally/practically are leaving. Far away.
I was in the hospital two weeks ago. I broke down in a Church I was visiting and the pastor and a parishoner/nurse convinced me to go, despite absolutely having to drop off more papers the next day for disability. The pastor offered to do this for me. And then I happened to find out that both are leaving. I broke down further. These breakdowns of crying are happening more often and now in public. My first hospital stay was the day I moved in to this room. My panic was so great, I thought I would die. And then a window fell on my head. So that was two fold hospital stay.
I cannot express accurately or fully how I feel but it isn’t good. Nothing seems normal; it is all painfully surreal. I feel as if stunned and just going through the motions of life. I am so scared of so much. I hate being alone with no personal support nearby. None. I cannot stand this. I feel as if on a rocky precipice all the time, even in my fitful sleep. And people on public assistance do not get the same care.
In America, I find this to be a shame. I don’t say that selfishly; there are so many hurting people for whom I pray; I am far from alone.
I appreciate and understand all the threads of anxiety, PTSD; mental health.
Anxiety stinks.
I thank God for the prayer warriors, I truly do.
And now I again, humbly ask for your prayers.
I’d like to be productive again; feel whole;
to get to a more God centered life. I cannot do this without prayers. My brain is mush.
I cannot pray as I should. But I keep trying as best I can.
Thank you for reading .
