Child birthday, am I too strict or cheap

[Joannm]

Some of my best memories of childhood are the birthday parties my mom had for me. They were all at home and basically we had chips, cake and ice cream. She didn’t hire magicians or clowns but used her creativity to create games, door prizes and themes for the parties. I got to invite my friends.

When my kids came around we always celebrated. Our favorite was roller skating parties. They were pretty inexpensive and the kids (and Mom) had a lot of fun skating for two hours and I had no clean up.

Birthday parties are fun. My husband never had one, his mom didn’t want to have other people’s kids in the house and didn’t want to make a big deal. My husband always says he felt cheated, like his mom didn’t care about his birthday. They would just have the immediate family for dinner and a cake. The first birthday party my husband ever had was the surprise one I planned for him for his 30th birthday. He had a blast.

 

[sanctamaria17]

Honestly, I think today’s children could use a lot more simplicity, hard work, and discipline, more than our over consumption modeled culture…

Look, I’m not saying don’t celebrate at all. I like the idea of a small family party and the kid doing something with one or two of their best friends. I agree that it makes the big parties, the milestones, more meaningful celebrations.

You know, not every world culture gives a gigantic celebration for each year of the kid’s life…Usually, there’s one big birthday to celebrate coming-of-age in addition to a ceremony when a baby is born…

People don’t love their kids unless they lavish them with gifts? That’s the fastest way to spoil a child and it’s not loving. Treat them, give them love, gift them when appropriate, yes…but pour thousands of gifts on them “just because”? They’ll come to value the presents more than your presence…

No, it’s not cheap to not lavish a big party for every year of your kids’ life…If saving that money for parties for all kids, all their sacraments and graduations, makes a parent cheap…well, now I understand how we got into the mess we’re still in…

 

[psr13]

I only had somewhere around three birthday parties as a kid, and I don’t remember them at all. I wasn’t hurt by not having parties. You don’t need a party to know that your family loves you. Now, my extended family did and still does get together a lot compared to most families, so maybe that’s why I didn’t feel like we were missing out. I don’t know.

 

[sanctamaria17]

My extended family is really tight as well. I come home, my grandparents take me to lunch and my aunts and I always get together for coffee or something. And my mom and dad just dote on me.

On our actual birthdays, my immediate family would go out to dinner to the restaurant of the birthday person’s choice. Then, the extended family comes over for brunch on that Sunday. What we want to do with our friends is up to us.

I didn’t get all the latest things (partially because, while we live comfortably, we aren’t rich and also because my parents didn’t want to spoil us), I didn’t get big birthday parties all of my life, I didn’t get a full ride to college. Yet I know my family loves me dearly. I know it by how they’ve helped me find ways to go to Kenya, by how they welcome me when I come home, by how much they do for me otherwise.

And honestly, the two big parties that I remember were the ones I had for my high school graduation and the day I was initiated into the Catholic Church. Those parties were a ton more meaningful to me than the birthday party I had at age seven, which I can’t even remember much of, to be honest.

 

[DWC_RC]

We try to keep birthdays low key. No more than three presents as Christ himself only received three presents from the magi. No presents on Easter and no eggs from a rabbit. Christmas isnt about a fat guy riding in a sleigh with flying deer either. Saint Nicholas is discussed and the true meaning of Christmas.