Child gets upset during communion

  • Thread starter Thread starter emode02
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
E

emode02

Guest
Good evening…

This could be a lengthy post, but I will try to be as concise as possible.
Simply my girlfriend and I have been together for close to 3 years. From a previous relationship, she had a son whom was 3 months old when we met. The 2 of us have raised her son in a loving environment since we met enjoying eachothers company on weekend outings and other get togethers as our time and schedules permit. His dad, when the child was a year old came around and after the court proceedings obtained limited visitation. The mother has primary care and the final say on the important matters though the father can take him to a faith of his choosing.
We have been guiding the child towards our Christian faith. I too have been helping the mother seek Christ through his true church.
However, the child’s father is a jehovahs witness and heavily practices his beliefs on the child. At not even 3 years old, the child has been lead astray to believe Jesus is bad, his mother and I are dangerous and jehovah is very mad at us and will send monsters after us.
We have taken the child to mass on several occasions. At first it was incredibly difficult but the child is becoming more comfortable now. However, when I go up to receive the Eucharist, I take the child with me to receive a blessing. When I take communion and the child hears the body of Christ, the kid nearly goes limp, cries and is just really incoherent. I try to console him, letting him know that the body of Christ is life giving, and we are loved and cherished by Jesus. I tell him the feeling he feels is the Holy Spirits and its love for us.
I truly believe this, especially considering the year or so of indoctrination of the child in the jehovah witness faith. My belief leads me to believe the Holy Spirit is filling the child with love he has never experienced before as he is guided spiritually back to him.
Can anyone help explain why the child gets so upset and what we can do to sooth him?
The mother is on an incredible spiritual journey herself and has hesitation due to having a child as to what the Church and community would view her. I’ve reassured her Christ is forgiving and wants her to find his peace and truth. She is in the process of starting her RCIA journey in the Fall and we do intend to enroll the child in a faith enriching pre-school.
This has been an incredibly trying time for me however it has also brought me even closer to the Holy Spirit. I feel an amazing peace and truth as I carry on my journey while showing the mother and child the path.
Thanks for any thoughts or suggestions in this.
 
emode02 said:
Good eveningThe mother is on an incredible spiritual journey herself and has hesitation due to having a child as to what the Church and community would view her. I’ve reassured her Christ is forgiving and wants her to find his peace and truth. She is in the process of starting her RCIA journey in the Fall and we do intend to enroll the child in a faith enriching pre-school.
This has been an incredibly trying time for me however it has also brought me even closer to the Holy Spirit. I feel an amazing peace and truth as I carry on my journey while showing the mother and child the path.
Thanks for any thoughts or suggestions in this.
Click to expand...
the process of getting closer to the Church will be healing for her and both of you, especially of course when anything contrary to the faith in your living relationship is healed. It will be a time as you already feel of extraordinary grace for your family.

The conflict of religion is something that has to be hammered out in the custody agreement, and she may have to show the child is being harmed to do that. It is common here, in fact when a divorced parent enrolls their child for sacramental preparation it is my duty to assure they have legal custody or I cannot accept them unless both parents agree. Her next best contact is her lawyer. I have also been deposed by sides in custody hearings as the the child’s RE attendance (whether the non-custodial parent is bringing them to CCD as their agreement requires, for instance).

Particulary with a cultish sect like JW or any anti-Catholic denom the child is subjected to the conflict that arises is very harmful to the faith and psychological health of the child. Do your best to be a loving consistent presence in his life.
 
I am confused. How would a Jehovah’s Witness believe that “Jesus is bad”? They are Christians. They do have a certain old testament approach to Christianity, but they do believe in Christ. And I won’t even comment on the fact that there was a child of a former relationship with this Witness. I am confused.
 
I respect that others will have a different belief system than I do. But at the same time to tell someone that certain aspects of what we believe is bad because they disagree is NOT good, and even worse to tell that to a young child.

My sister may be a lapsed Catholic but she did allow her kids to be received as Catholics (at ages 7 and 9) and attend Mass with her family members who still practice the faith. She has no issues with the kids attending Mass even before they were received mainly with our mother as she knew that our mother always goes to weekly Mass and is involved in several ministries. My sister respects that others in her family attend Mass, and we respect her right not to go even though we would like her to return to the faith of her childhood.
 
emode02 said:
However, when I go up to receive the Eucharist, I take the child with me to receive a blessing. When I take communion and the child hears the body of Christ, the kid nearly goes limp, cries and is just really incoherent. I try to console him, letting him know that the body of Christ is life giving, and we are loved and cherished by Jesus. I tell him the feeling he feels is the Holy Spirits and its love for us.
I truly believe this, especially considering the year or so of indoctrination of the child in the jehovah witness faith. My belief leads me to believe the Holy Spirit is filling the child with love he has never experienced before as he is guided spiritually back to him.
Can anyone help explain why the child gets so upset and what we can do to sooth him?
Click to expand...
This sounds really odd to my ears. If the child is in distress and experiences emotional pain, the last thing I would do is to tell the child that he is experiencing the Holy Spirit. You might consider leaving the child with the mother in the pew while you recieve HC.
 
Chatter163 said:
I am confused. How would a Jehovah’s Witness believe that “Jesus is bad”? They are Christians. .
Click to expand...
no they are not Christian, they reject in toto Catholic teaching on the nature of Jesus Christ. They are also instructed and prepared to attack specifically the beliefs of Catholic family members and if this man does not indoctrinate his child as a JW he is liable to be excluded from their fellowship.

Until the child is old enough for formal religious education and sacramental preparation, and hopefully the situation will be somewhat resolved by that time, don’t take him to church or up with you at communion time if this causes him distress.
 
emode02 said:
The mother has primary care and the final say on the important matters though the father can take him to a faith of his choosing.

However, the child’s father is a jehovahs witness and heavily practices his beliefs on the child. At not even 3 years old, the child has been lead astray to believe Jesus is bad, his mother and I are dangerous and jehovah is very mad at us and will send monsters after us.
Click to expand...
The first thing mother needs to do is double check what the parenting agreement states about the child’s religious upbringing. If the wording is vague or non-existant, which sadly I have seen, she needs to get back in touch with her attorney and share her concerns about about what her son is taking away from his father’s JW beliefs.
 
My comments are:
  1. You are not married to your girlfriend even though you have been together for 3 years. Is it really your place to take on the role of (step-)father?
  2. The child is suffering from a battle that is essentially between the parents; the battle is, whose religion is the child going to be raised in? This battle must be fought in court, not by each parent forcing conflicting teachings upon the child, hoping their own efforts will win the child’s mind. That is just wrong, and extremely confusing to the child and detrimental to his spiritual health.
  3. Forcing the child to go up to receive a blessing against his will (which is so unnecessary since receiving a blessing in the communion line is not required or encouraged by the Church) will do nothing to endear the child to the Catholic faith.
  4. Why are you telling the child that the feeling he feels is “the Holy Spirits and its love for us”, when the child is being limp and incoherent? What feeling do you think the child is feeling? It appears to me that what he is feeling is not love but rather, upset and maybe even terror (considering what he is being told by his father about Jesus being bad and Jehovah sending monsters). Therefore you are teaching the child that the Holy Spirit and love are associated with feelings of upset and terror!!!
  5. It is my opinion that the best way to teach the child what our faith is all about, is to let him experience love. Show the child lovingness, you and his mother behave with lovingness to each other, and all of you perform acts of charity to others. Practice your faith in his presence, pray in his presence, and talk positively about faith matters openly in front of him. Show him how to participate but do not force him to participate. At Mass, let him stay in the pew and observe the worship of God by people who want to be there. Children know goodness and love when they experience it, and over time he will grow up to realize that your faith (as opposed to his father’s) is the real deal. Forcing faith upon him will not result in faith at all.
 
karow said:
The first thing mother needs to do is double check what the parenting agreement states about the child’s religious upbringing. If the wording is vague or non-existant, which sadly I have seen, she needs to get back in touch with her attorney and share her concerns about about what her son is taking away from his father’s JW beliefs.
Click to expand...
Yes. At least, since parents have not done so, they obviously need to come to an agreement about the religious upbringing of the child. Otherwise, their lack of a decision is going to harm the child. It would be a good idea for the mother to get guidance from her pastor about how to go about conducting these negotiations and what she can or cannot agree to. Then, when she has found what legal channels allow her, she can re-visit her pastor about how to implement what the court has given to each party, and with the greatest compassion for all involved.

If a mother teaches her child that the child’s father deserves respect and compassion even when she thinks (or knows!) he is incorrect in his beliefs, the child will remember that as a point in Mom’s favor. In the whole pantheon of the love of enemy, the love of one’s ex, the father of one’s child but the enemy of the child’s faith, is the both among the most difficult and among the most praiseworthy.

In the meantime, with two adults taking the child to Mass it is possible for one adult to go to communion while the other stays in the pew, and then for the one who stayed behind to join the line for communion after the other comes back. The child can stay in the pew the entire time. This is an act of compassion for the sensibilities and trials that the child is going through. You do not form a love for the faith via a weekly battle and melt-down at Mass. If you want a weekly blessing for the child, you can ask Father after Mass. Most will be more than happy to do it, particularly if they know the circumstances.
 
JW’s don’t believe in the Trinity, deny that Jesus is the Son of God. The father will have nothing good to say about Catholicism. This poor child is going to have a hard time of it if he is torn between faiths that are in such opposition.

It may be time to bring in a lawyer if the child is taught that Jehovah is mad at his mother and will send monsters.
 
Claire_from_DE said:
JW’s don’t believe in the Trinity, deny that Jesus is the Son of God. The father will have nothing good to say about Catholicism. This poor child is going to have a hard time of it if he is torn between faiths that are in such opposition.

It may be time to bring in a lawyer if the child is taught that Jehovah is mad at his mother and will send monsters.
Click to expand...
I’d agree that if the boundaries aren’t already spelled out, this ought to be done sooner rather than later, but three year olds get odd ideas that have not been taught to them directly. It is better not to rush to judgment about what the ex has been doing.
 
Thank you kindly for all the replies.

First off from all the post here, I will not be taking the child up a blessing for communion. Perhaps being present with Christ during the mass will slowly adjust him to our faith and not make him as uncomfortable as being present at the altar did.

In addition, practicing a loving faith amongst each other and with him hopefully will guide him further. From what he can communicate to us, the JW’s are extremely corporally strict with their children at their meetings. We as well as the entire parish of course are loving and gentle to the children. I shake to think if it is true what he has told us in addition to what I’ve read on the JW and their treatment of children.

I’ve been trying to process all the thoughts here.

My responses to some of the questions asked in response:
  1. As to the mother having a child with a JW. The father was now a JW prior to the father and mother having this child. Neither one had any sort of structure or practiced it if they did. I do not nor should we judge what they were thinking at this time. In the present, the mother is exploring our Catholic faith and is ready to enroll in the RCIA. The father abandoned the child before birth and came back after the child’s first birthday after no contact full force JW.
  2. The court document was open on religion for each parent unfortunately This is something both the father and mother are in the process of getting more firm in their own respective favor. Perhaps the courts will take into account the JW history of child abuse and destroying families and let the mother raise the child in a Catholic faith. The medical stuff has been brought up by the father already and the mother intends to keep her court ordered final call on medical care which has been in place since the original court proceedings.
  3. As to my role, I have thought about that as I have taken a role of step-dad and if I should keeping in mind we are not married. I will not get married out of our church and she has not even started the RCIA process. In addition, not that it justifies anything, but I have raised and been a fatherly figure since the child was an infant well before his biological father came around when he was a year and a half. The child and I are emotionally connected at this point in time.
That is all for now. Our next steps are to continue to show the child gentle love, involve him with our mass and pray with him. In addition, faith enriching schools are being explored this summer for the upcoming school year.

Thank you kindly for all the responses.
 
puzzleannie said:
the process of getting closer to the Church will be healing for her and both of you, especially of course when anything contrary to the faith in your living relationship is healed.
Click to expand...
In case it was not clear in my orig post, the child, mother and I do not co-habitate. I have dinner with them in the evenings when time permits and enjoy weekend family outings with the mother and child on the weekends, including our time at Mass.
 
Chatter163 said:
I am confused. How would a Jehovah’s Witness believe that “Jesus is bad”? They are Christians. They do have a certain old testament approach to Christianity, but they do believe in Christ. And I won’t even comment on the fact that there was a child of a former relationship with this Witness. I am confused.
Click to expand...
JWs believe Jesus is Michael the archangel and while they have their memorial, do not believe in simply the trinity which is the foundation of the Christian faith.

It is hard to call the JW’s Christians.

In addition, the father was not a JW at the time they were in a relationship or had this child. The father abandoned the mother while pregnant and came back when the child was around 18 months old a full fledged Witness.
 
The reaction of the child opens the possibility of demonic possession, obsession, or oppression. Perhaps an exorcism is called for.
 
You don’t believe? or recognize the possibility? Some possessions occur when one of the parents has opened the door through some act on their part toward the child.

therealpresence.org/archives/Demonology/Demonology_005.htm

Also you may want to read “The Rite” by Father Matt Baglio (not the movie, the book) and “An Exorcist Tells His Story” by Father Gabriele Amorth, S.S.P.
 
Evan said:
You don’t believe? or recognize the possibility? Some possessions occur when one of the parents has opened the door through some act on their part toward the child.

therealpresence.org/archives/Demonology/Demonology_005.htm

Also you may want to read “The Rite” by Father Matt Baglio (not the movie, the book) and “An Exorcist Tells His Story” by Father Gabriele Amorth, S.S.P.
Click to expand...
That’s quite a jump and a really scary thing to say to parents going through this craziness.
The psychology of a 3 year old…I would guess, as i am not there, the child just didn’t want to do whatever. they were doing or didn’t know the priest giving the blessing.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top